The tea was brought and once again I presided over the teacups.
I was feeling almost normal now; the comfort I drew from these two astonished and delighted me. They believed in me; they refused to treat me as a hysterical subject; and that was wonderful.
I wanted that tea-time hour to go on and on.
Hagar said as she stirred her tea: "I remember once Matthew played a trick on me. Strangely enough he came into my bedroom. Really, it must have been something like your affair. I had my curtains drawn about the bed. It was mid-winter, I remember.... Christmas-time. The snow was deep outside and the east wind was driving a buzzard. We had a few people in the house ... those who had arrived before the bad weather started. We thought they would have to stay with us well beyond the Christmas holidays unless there was a thaw. We children had been allowed to watch the ball from the minstrels' gallery. It was a wonderfuJ sight... the dresses and the decorations. Well, that wasn't the point. We children had had too much plum pudding, I dare say, because we grew rather quarrelsome ... at least Matthew and I did.
Poor Sarah never joined in our quarrels. 134 " To get to the point, I had been discussing our ancestors and Matthew was wishing that he could wear those wonderful plumed hats and lace collars as they did in the days of the Cavaliers. I said: " Like Sir John! Don't say you want to be like him in the least little bit. " But I do want to be exactly like Sir John," Matthew said. I hate Sir John," I cried. I like Sir John," he answered. Then he twisted my arm and Ljnade his nose bleed.
I shouted that Sir John was a coward. "
She laughed and her eyes sparkled at the memory.
"You see, Catherine, Sir John was the master of Kirkland Revels at the time of the Civil War. Marston Moor had gone to Cromwell and Fairfax, and Prince Rupert was on the run. Sir John was naturally a Royalist and he went on declaring he'd hold the Revels against Cromwell or die in the attempt.
Never should the Revels pass out of the Rockwells* hands. But when the Parliamentarians came into Kirkland Moorside he disappeared . he and everyone in the house. Just imagine the soldiers coming into the Revels. They would have hanged him on one of his own oaks if they had found him. But he just disappeared. It's been one of the mysteries of our house . how he and his household managed to disappear at the moment the Roundheads entered Kirkland Moorside. They took away all the valuables with them too. They were brought back after the Restoration. But I told Matthew that John was a coward because he did not stay and fight but walked out and calmly handed over the Revels to the enemy. Matthew didn't agree with me. Anything would have done to quarrel about on that day. Sir John happened to be the cause. "
She stirred her tea thoughtfully and the haughtiness left her face as she looked back into the past.
Then she went on: " And so Matthew decided to play a practical joke with me as his victim. I was awakened to see the curtains of my bed divided, and there was a. face drawn into a hideous scowl under a plumed hat. A voice hissed:
' So you are the one who dared call me a coward 1 You will regret that, Hagar Rockwell. I am Sir John and I've come to haunt you. " I was startled out of my sleep and for a few seconds I really did think my careless words had brought our ancestor from the tomb. Then I recognised Matthew's voice and I saw his hand clutching a candle. I leaped out of bed and grabbed the hat. I rammed it down on his head, boxed his ears, and threw him out of my room."
She laughed again; then she looked at me apologetically. " It reminded me, although it was really so different." 135 "Where did he find the plumed hat?" I asked.
" There are lots of clothes put away in chests in the house. It was probably right out of period. I remember we were both put on bread and water and confined to our rooms for a day for disturbing our governess."
"The difference is that you caught your intruder," said Simon. " I wish we could discover who this monk really is."
" At least," I put in," I shall be on my guard for the future."
Simon changed the subject and I found myself talking of the affairs of the neighbourhood: The home farm which was attached to the Grange and which he managed, and the smaller homesteads on the estate of which he would one day be the landlord. It was clear that he and Hagar felt deeply about the Kelly Grange estate, but in a different way from that worship of a house which I imagined obtained at the Revels. I had never heard the Rockwells discuss their tenants in the same way, and I was sure that Sir Matthew would not greatly care whether a man had been hurt when ploughing or that his wife was expecting a child again.
Hagar might look back on the traditions of the past but she had her keen eyes on the present. She might long to be mistress of the Revels and for Simon to be its master, but that did not mean she was indifferent to the Kelly Grange estate. Far from it. I believed that she would have liked to unite the two.
As for Simon he was so much the practical man; a house would never mean more to him than the stones of which it was built; the tradition in his opinion, I was sure, should be made to serve man, not man tradition.
There was so much about him that angered me, for I could never forget his hinting that I was a fortune-hunter, but on that day I needed his clear cold common sense, and I was grateful for it.
So those two gave me the strength and courage I badly needed. I knew that when I was alone in my room that night I should remember them and their belief in me, and it would help me to believe in myself.
He drove me back at five o'clock and, as I heard him drive off and turned to go into the house in which the first shadows of evening were beginning to fall, I, felt my courage begin to ebb.
But I kept thinking of those two and as I mounted the stairs to my room I did not once look over my shoulder to see if I was being followed, although I wanted to. 136 Matthew, Luke and Ruth seemed to watch me rather furtively through dinner; as for Sarah, she had made no mention of the affair, which surprised me. I managed to appear quite normal.
After dinner Dr. Smith and Damaris called to take wine with us. I was sure that Ruth had sent for him, telling him what had happened, for when Damans and Luke were whispering together, Ruth drew Sir Matthew aside Aunt Sarah had already retired and the doctor said to me: " I hear there was a little trouble last night."
" It was nothing," I said quickly.
" Ah, you have recovered from it," he said. " Mrs. Grantiey thought she ought to tell me. I have made her promise, you know, to keep an eye on you."
" There was no need to tell you this."
"A nightmare, was it? That was what Mrs. Grantiey called it."
" If it had been merely a nightmare I should not have left my room and awakened others. In my opinion it was not a nightmare."
He glanced at the rest of the company and whispered:
" Could you tell me all about it?"
So once more that day I told the story.
He listened gravely, but made no comment.
"You may not sleep very well to-night," he said.
" I think I shall."
" Ah, you are a young lady of such sound good sense."
" I propose to lock my doors so that there is no possibility of the joker's coming into my room. Then I shall feel perfectly safe."
" Wouldn't you like a sleeping draught?"
" It will not be necessary."
" Take it in case. You don't want two bad nights running. I've got it here with me."
" It's unnecessary."
"There's no harm in having it at hand.. Put it by your bed. Then if you can't sleep ... take it and in ten minutes you'll be in a deep and restful sleep."
I took the small bottle and slipped it into the pocket of my gown.
" Thank you," I said.
" You needn't fear," he told me with a smile. " You won't become an addict after one dose, believe me. And I want you to have good nights . plenty of rest and good plain 137 food. So don't think you're being brave by refusing to take the draught. Think of the rest and relaxation you need ... for the little one."
" You are very a
ttentive. Dr. Smith."
" I am very anxious to look after you."
So when I retired that night I put the sleeping draught by my bed as I had promised. Then I searched my room and locked the doors. I went to bed ; but I did not sleep as readily as I had believed I should. I would doze and start out of my sleep, my gaze going immediately to the foot of my bed.
I was by no means a hysterical subject, but I had received a violent shock and even the calmest of people cannot expect to recover immediately.
One of the clocks in the house was striking midnight when I took Dr.
Smith's draught. Almost immediately I sank into a deep restful sleep.
Within a few days I had completely recovered from my shock, but I was still watchful. Nothing else of a similar nature had happened, but each night I locked my doors and was now sleeping normally without those distressing sudden awakenings to stare about the room, looking for an apparition.
The household had ceased to refer to the incident, and I guessed that in the servants' hall they had decided that it was one of the queer things which happen to women who are expecting a child.
But I was no less determined to discover who had been disguised as the monk and, as I brooded on it one morning, I remembered that Hagar had said there had been clothes of all kinds in various chests about the house. What if in one of the chests there was a monk's robe? If I could find such a thing I should be on my way to solving the mystery.
There was one person who might be helpful in this respect. That was Sarah--and I decided to go along and see her.
It was after luncheon, at which she did not appear, when I made my way to her apartments in the east wing.
I knocked at the door of her tapestry room, and I was pleased when she called to me to come in.
She was delighted that I should come to see her without being asked.
" Ah," she cried, creeping round me and standing with her back to the door as she had the first time I had come here, " you've come to see my tapestry."
" And you," I answered.
That pleased her.
"It's coming along nicely," she said, leading the way to the window-seat on which was the blue satin coverlet she was making for the cradle.
"Nearly finished," she said, spreading it out for me to see.
" It's exquisite."
" I was afraid," she said.
"Afraid?"
" If you'd died it would have been such a waste of time."
I looked astonished, and she said: " You were in your bare feet. You might have caught your death."
" So you heard about it?" I said.
" I've used such a lot of my blue silks."
" What did you think about ... my fright?"
"All that work would have been in vain."
" Who told you about it?"
" But it would have done for some other baby. There are always babies." Her eyes widened and she went on: "Perhaps Luke's. I wonder if Luke will have good babies?"
" Please don't talk about my child as though it will never be born," I said sharply.
She recoiled as though I had struck her.
" It made you angry," she said. " People are angry when they are frightened."
"I'm not frightened."
" Are you angry?"
" When you talk like that about my baby."
"Then you're frightened, because angry people are really frightened people."
I changed the subject.
"The coverlet is lovely. My baby will like it."
She smiled, well pleased.
" I went to see your sister a few days ago. She told me about a Christmas-time when Matthew dressed up."
She put her hand to her mouth and began to laugh. " They quarrelled so," she said. " She made his nose bleed. It went all over his jacket.
Our governess was cross. They had nothing but bread and water for a whole day. He'd dressed up, you see . to frighten her. " She looked at me. her brows puckered; I could see that she was struck by the similarity of the incidents. " What are you going to do, Hagar?
What are you going to do about . the monk? "
I did not remind her that I was Catherine. Instead I said:
" I want to see if I can find the clothes." 139 " I know where the hat is," she said. " I was there when he found it."
" Do you know where the monk's robe is?"
She turned to me, startled. " Monk's robe? I never saw it. There is no monk's robe. Matthew found the hat and he said he was going to frighten her when she was asleep. It was a hat with such a lovely feather. It's still in the chest."
" Where is the chest?"
"You know, Hagar. In that little room near the school room."
" Let us go and look at it."
" Are you going to dress up and frighten Matthew?"
" I'm not going to dress up. I merely want to see the clothes."
" All right, she said. " Come on. "
So she led the way. We went through the schoolroom and past the nurseries till we came to a door at the end of a corridor. She threw this open. There was a smell of age as though the place had not been ventilated for years. I saw several large chests, some pictures stacked against the walls, and odd pieces of furniture.
" Mother changed the Revels when she came here," mused Sarah. " She said we were overcrowded with furniture. She put some here ... and some in other places.... It's been here ever since."
" Let us look at the clothes."
I saw that there was a film of dust on everything, and I looked intently about me, for if anyone had been at these chests recently would they not have left some mark in the dust?
I saw an imprint on the top of a chest which was Sarah's, and she was now ruefully looking at her hands.
" The dust," she said. " No one's been in here for a very long time.
Perhaps not since we were children. "
It was not easy to lift the lid, as the thing was not only heavy but stiff; but we managed between us.
I looked down at the garments which were there. Gowns, shoes, cloaks, and there was the hat itself on which Sarah seized with a cry of triumph.
She put it on her head and she looked as though she had stepped right out of the picture gallery.
" Hagar must have had a fright," I said.
"Hagar wouldn't be frightened long." She was looking at me intently.
"Some people are not frightened for long. 140 For a while they are and then ... they stop being frightened. You are like that, Hagar."
I was suddenly conscious of the stuffiness of the attic, of the strangeness of the woman who stood before me, whose childlike blue eyes could be so vague and yet so penetrating.
She had bent over the chest and brought out a silk pelisse which she wrapped around her. The hat was still on her head.
" Now," she said, " I feel I am not myself. I am someone else ... someone who lived in this house long long ago. When you wear other people's clothes perhaps you become like them. This is a man's hat though and a woman's pelisse." She began to laugh. " I wonder, if I put on the monk's robe, whether I should feel like a monk."
" Aunt Sarah," I said, " where is the monk's robe?"
She paused as though thinking deeply and for a moment I thought I was on the road to discovery. Then she said: " It is on the monk who came to your bedroom, Catherine. That's where the monk's robe is."
I began taking clothes from the chest, and as I could not find the robe I gave my attention to the smaller trunks and ransacked them.
When I could not find what I sought I felt deflated. I turned to Sarah, who was watching me earnestly.
"There are other chests in the house," she said.
"Where?"
She shook her head. " I hardly ever leave my part of the house."
I felt the faintness coming over me again; the room was so airless, so confined; it smelt of dust and age.
What did Sarah know? I asked myself. Sometimes she seemed so simple, at others so knowledgeable.
Did she know who had come to my room in the guise of a monk? I wondered if it had been Sarah herself.
As this feeling became stronger I wanted to get away, back to my own room. I wondered what would happen to me if I fainted in this room among all these musty relics of the past, as I had in Hagar's house.
Victoria Holt - Kirkland Revels Page 18