by CJ Roberts
I clenched my jaw. The check Adam had written could keep both of us living in the penthouse of the Four Seasons for well over a month while dressing in a different designer outfit every day and eating caviar for breakfast. But that wasn’t the point.
“I don’t want your money.”
He shrugged. “Being the owner of the complex, I have insurance for cases like this.”
I threw my hands up. “That’s not the point. I want my home. Not a hotel. What am I supposed to do? And don’t you dare say live with you.”
“Why? It makes sense. It’s a good trial period. You can see that you belong with me, yet retain that false sense of security you have with that apartment.”
“False sense of—” I took a deep breath. My anger was dialed to defcon-freak-the-fuck-out. “How do you not see what you’re doing?”
“I’m going after what I want.”
“You’re strong-arming me.”
This was another moment where I knew that Adam was trying to do something nice—sort of—but going about it the wrong way. He wanted me to move in. It was a big step. Part of me loved that he felt something for me. Something strong enough that it would enable him to share his space with me. But this wasn’t how a normal couple approached things.
“You seem to have a fancy for kicking Gunn women out of their homes,” I snapped.
He stood up quickly and rounded the desk, walking toward me. “I’m not tearing down that complex. You mother can stay. Though everything in my being says I should throw her ass on the street. I don’t want you to ever have to deal with her again. Her rent is taken care of. She can live there indefinitely without a single bill as long as she stays away from you.”
“Are you serious?”
He nodded. “It is not my intention to burden you. Ever. I want you happy. And I want you with me.” He cupped my chin. “What is keeping you from giving in? Why do you choose to fight me on everything?”
“Because you can’t force someone to feel something they don’t.”
He took a step back. “So you feel nothing for me?”
Heat left my cheeks. What I felt for Adam was not nothing, it was everything. I didn’t know if it was the headache or the bombardment of all this new information, but I was exasperated.
“Adam, you drive me nuts, but you’ve also helped me realize that while I have these crazy emotions, it doesn’t make me crazy. I crave you in a way that borders on unhealthy. You know me. You force me to deal with things. You know my secrets, my weaknesses, but I know nothing about you.”
“You know me,” he argued.
I shook my head. “You close yourself off. I don’t know what causes you pain. I don’t know about your past. You demand all this from me, yet keep half of yourself hidden. It’s like walking along a cliff. Any moment you have the power to throw me over and I’ll be left shattered and broken while you escape without a scratch.”
He stared at me for a long moment. “You bring me to my knees, Katelyn. Every damn day you have me ready to beg.”
His words hit my heart. He hadn’t said he loved me. Hadn’t admitted to anything deep or personal, but it was a start. Admitting he was off kilter just as badly as I was.
He swept me up into his arms. I locked my legs around his waist and kissed him with all the breath in me.
17
I woke up in Adam’s bed. I’d agreed to stay with him while “renovations” were being done on my apartment. My only other option was to go to my aunt and uncle’s—which would never happen—or use the money Adam had given me to stay at a hotel. For some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to spend it.
So far, things were going well. We woke up, had coffee and breakfast together. Drove into work together. Convenient, since we worked down the block from each other. He always dropped me off first and kissed me good-bye. A few times we snuck in a quickie in the backseat and I walked around the rest of the day with my skin tingling and smelling like his cologne.
I was happy. Deliriously so. And if it was a dream, I didn’t want to wake up.
“How’s domestication treating you?” Megan asked. Her anger had ebbed over the last couple of weeks when she’d put the check from Adam to good use. She was living it up and I was happy because she had seemed a little down lately.
“Pretty good. How’s staying with Brian?”
“I’ve only stayed there a couple of nights.” Megan looked down. She and Brian had been together a lot longer than Adam and I, yet he’d made no move to take their relationship to the next level.
“You okay?” I asked.
Her head snapped up and she waved away whatever sad thoughts had obviously been churning. “I’m great. I took a peek at our apartment the other day—state-of-the-art alarm system, new fixtures and appliances. It’s looking really good.”
I liked that Adam had left me the choice to move back, though secretly, I didn’t think it was a choice. He had been doing his damnedest to convince me to stay with him permanently. And I just might be caving.
“So, you were saying that Mr. Moneybags has a birthday tomorrow, right?”
I nodded.
“What are you supposed to get a man who has everything?”
I groaned. “My thoughts exactly.”
“Well, did you ask him?”
I smiled. “Yeah. He said for his birthday, he wanted me.”
Megan rolled her eyes. “I don’t know exactly what to make of you two, but it kind of grosses me out.” She winked at me. “Besides, he already has you.”
Yes, he did, but I knew what he was really getting at. He wanted total control. No more running or questioning. Giving myself over to him would require my soul.
He made me feel beautiful. Cherished. And completely crazy. When was the last time someone had told Adam how amazing he was? I did my best to tell him, show him, every day, the same way he showed me.
An idea hit me.
Adam wanted my heart for his birthday? He just might get it.
18
“Good morning, birthday boy,” I whispered, and kissed his lips.
He smiled. He was doing more of that lately and I never tired of the sight.
“Best birthday ever,” he said, cupping my ass. He rolled me over and parted my thighs with his knees.
“No, wait, you have to open your present first.”
He frowned down at me. “Aren’t you my present?”
I laughed like a fool, but the man made me so damn giddy sometimes. “Of course, but there’s more.”
We had dinner reservations tonight, but I couldn’t wait to give him his gift. I moved him to a sitting position on the bed. I was in one of his shirts and it glided around me when I reached under the bed and brought up his present.
“Happy birthday, Adam.”
He looked at me as he untied the ribbon. The tissue paper fell away, leaving him with a mason jar in his hands.
He examined it. “What’s it filled with?”
“Open it and find out.”
He did, and when he reached in, he pulled out one of the hundreds of small red paper hearts I had cut out.
He looked at the paper. His eyes darkened to a fierce blue.
“See, each heart has a different reason I love you written on it—” My voice cracked. I was so nervous.
His eyes shot to mine.
“I love you, Adam. Everything I am…my heart, my trust…it’s yours.”
Shock marred his perfect face. I could see the boy beneath the man. The one who looked wary of such a declaration, but who really wanted to believe it.
“Don’t say things you can’t take back,” he rasped, his hands tightening around the jar.
My heart broke a little because he looked like he was clutching something he wanted, but didn’t know for certain if it was real. I recognized this, because I’d felt it. I had grown accustomed to the bottom falling out, but Adam had changed that. I wanted to be the same anchor for him that he was for me.
I ran my fingers through his h
air. “I mean it, Adam. I love you so much. In a way I have never, or will ever, love another.”
He dropped the jar and it gently bounced on the mattress. He cupped my face in his palms and pulled my mouth to his. His kiss was urgent, seeking, but sweetly slow and filled with intensity. He laid me back. The jar tipped and rolled, scattering little paper hearts over the sheets.
He kept kissing me, the wildness building. He snagged my lip between his teeth and plunged his tongue inside to take a deep taste. I wound my fingers into his hair and pulled him closer. My shirt was riding up, leaving my lower half exposed.
Through his pajama pants, I felt his hard shaft press against me. Seeking. Demanding. I hooked my feet on the waistband of his bottoms and worked them down his legs and off. He lowered himself over me. With his weight on his forearms, he skimmed his hands along my temples and looked down at me.
“Thank you,” he breathed.
I had never seen such soft emotion lace Adam’s features. The crown of his cock nudged my entrance, but before he slid all the way in, he cradled my face in both hands.
“Katelyn. I’m in love with you.”
His admission made my eyes water. He fused his lips with mine and surged home. As Adam buried himself over and over, I saw a stray paper heart out of the corner of my eye.
I love your intensity…
“So…you excited about tonight?”
I smiled at Emma. “Yes. I guess we’re going somewhere fancy for dinner. I wish you could join us.”
Emma and I walked down the Magnificent Mile. The small brunette was nearly skipping, shopping bags twirling in each hand. I was happy when she’d called and invited me out for a girls’ day. Even though it was Adam’s birthday, he encouraged me to go and pick out a dress for dinner tonight. After our amazing morning in bed, I didn’t want to leave his side. But he had an important meeting that would take up the majority of the day, so I took Emma up on her offer. I had called Megan to invite her, but once again, got her voicemail. Megan had been acting weird lately. Had I known better, I would have thought she was avoiding me.
“There’s no way I’m crashing date night and becoming Miss Third Wheel. Besides, I’m taking Adam out for lunch tomorrow to celebrate.” Emma smirked at me like she knew a secret I wasn’t in on. “Oooh!” she shrieked, and pointed at the mannequins in the window across the street. “That is the dress you have to wear tonight!”
Before I could respond, Emma grabbed my hand and hauled me across the street. The dress was a modern take on a nineteen-twenties design. Cream silk and lace was embroidered over the bodice and gathered at the hip. It was stunning. And way out of my price range.
“Emma, I don’t think this is necessary—”
“Before you say any more, I have strict instructions from Adam to get you whatever you want. And…” She dug in her purse and pulled out a black American Express card. “He gave me his credit card.”
I shook my head wildly. “It’s just dinner and he already bought me a closet full of dresses—”
“Tonight is special,” Emma interrupted. The tone in her voice was starting to worry me. Surprises made me nervous, and I got the distinct feeling something was going on between the Kinkade siblings.
Emma took both my hands in hers. “My brother has completely lost it over you. Tonight is going to be great.” Her large brown eyes looked at me. “Thank you, Kate.”
I frowned. “Why are you thanking me?”
“Because for the first time, Adam isn’t walking around like a shadow of doom is following him, and it’s because of you. You’ve…changed him.”
A wide grin tugged at my lips and I couldn’t contain it. “I love him.”
“I know. I can tell.” She gave me her brightest smile and tugged me into the shop. “Now let’s get that dress!”
A small knock sounded on my bedroom door. The apartment was officially finished as of yesterday. After a morning of amazing sex, an afternoon of shopping, and a dinner date that started in an hour, I was a big ball of exhausted euphoria. I told Adam I was excited to see the renovations. To my surprise, he told me to take my time and he said he’d pick me up at eight.
I stepped out of the shower and fastened my robe around me. “Come in.”
Megan peeked her head in. “Bad time?”
“Not at all. I’ve been wondering where you’ve been lately.”
A sad expression laced her face. “A lot has happened, Kate. I can’t keep it from you anymore.”
Fear flicked my nerve endings and called all of my awareness to attention. Megan was usually the one who had it all together. Not much got her down.
“Whatever it is, you can tell me, Meg.” I motioned for her to sit on the bed.
She sat on the edge of my mattress and looked down at her hands. Her shoulders slumped and her hair hung over her face. She was hurting, ashamed. I wanted to help her. To take whatever this daunting thing was from her.
“What’s wrong, Meg?”
Her eyes met mine and there were tears in them. “It’s about your uncle Tim.”
It felt as if my lungs had fallen out of my ribcage and crashed to the floor. I opened my mouth to take a breath, but no air came through.
“What did he do to you?”
Megan shook her head. “Nothing. I stopped him before he could…”
I clamped Megan’s hand in mine. Rage lit my blood on fire. I’d always known Tim was awful, but if he’d hurt my best friend—
“It was a mistake. He kissed me at the last house party he had. We were drunk. Brian and I got in a fight. I didn’t mean it.” Her words were overlaid by sobs and she dropped her face into her palms.
I sat down next to her and did the only thing I could do for my friend who had been there for me time and time again. I hugged her.
“Did he force you? Hurt you?”
She looked at me. “He was persistent, but when I realized what was happening, I stopped him. He got mad…said some things…” She started bawling again.
I stroked Megan’s hair, giving her time to catch her breath. Thank God Tim hadn’t pushed too far. I still had the urge to rake my fingernails across his face, though.
“It gets worse.” Megan’s pretty face was smudged with mascara, her blue eyes red-rimmed and watery. “I caught Brian and Grace having sex.”
My brows shot up. “What? My aunt Grace?”
Megan nodded. “I walked in on them. Apparently it’s been going on since before we even got together.”
“Oh, Meg.” My head was spinning. I didn’t even know where to start in terms of unwinding this mess.
Her hands tightened into fists and rested on her thighs. “I always felt like I had to prove I was good enough for Brian. And apparently, I never was.”
“Don’t you say that. You’re amazing—”
“No.” She shook her head. “I’m not. And Tim was happy to point that out to me.”
“What do you mean?”
“The burglar…” Megan whispered.
I felt my whole face lose its structure. It was like my cheekbones had melted. I knew before she said more where she was going with this, and it was everything I could do to keep from retching.
“It wasn’t a burglar. It was Tim. He came over because he said he wanted to talk about what had happened between us, but he went off on me. First he said he wanted to leave Grace to be with me. I told him that the kiss was a mistake, that I didn’t want him to leave his wife and I didn’t have feelings for him. His whole attitude changed. He started yelling at me. Said that if I had kept my boyfriend satisfied in the first place, he wouldn’t have to fuck another man’s wife.” Megan was shaking. “Then when Tim heard you come through the door, he freaked and ran.”
“Oh, God, Meg. I’m so sorry he said that. He’s an asshole.” I knew how it felt to be manipulated by Tim. He was a vicious, miserable man who wanted to drag everyone down with him. I hugged Megan closer. Just the thought of Tim disgusted me. Knowing he had touched my best friend, one of the
nicest, sweetest people in the world, sickened me. He had taken advantage of her, drunk and upset. Then he had shown up to make her suffer more and drive the knife home.
Truthfully, I didn’t even know how to process all of this. I hated Tim. But I loved Megan. All I could do was support her and be there for Simon when it all eventually erupted. Megan was a good person and this was an awful situation. On top of everything else, Simon was a child caught between two cheating parents. I hoped he wouldn’t be the one hurt in the end.
“I’m here for you, Meg. We’ll figure this out.”
“Th-thanks. I’m so sorry, Kate.”
“Shhh, you don’t have anything to be sorry about.” Her whimpers made my heart sink.
“D-do you ever wish you could just escape…leave all the badness behind you…and start fresh?”
I nodded. “All the damn time.”
19
Adam pulled my chair out, then seated himself. The restaurant was elegant, with soft lighting and a warm atmosphere. I had offered to cancel my plans and stay home with Megan tonight, but she insisted I go, swearing that she wanted to be alone.
I tried to focus on the incredible evening and the even more incredible man I was sitting across from. The dress Emma had picked out for me really was amazing.
Adam and I were halfway through our hors d’oeuvres when the light conversation about our day and plans for the weekend turned more serious. With all the commotion of the afternoon, anxiety was buzzing just below the surface of my skin.
“Did you like your apartment?” Adam asked, eyeing me from over the wine glass.
I nodded.
“Have you given any more thought to my offer?”
I was learning that when Adam was entering a conversation where he was unsure about the outcome, he approached it from a business standpoint.
“What? Me moving in with you full-time? The only thing you’ve been demanding over and over this past month? That offer?” I smiled.
He didn’t. Because Adam was dead serious. I had thought about it. A lot. And tonight I wanted to tell him that yes, I wanted to move in.