“I shouldn’t have dragged you into all of this,” he said, his voice muffled.
“Last I knew, you didn’t drag me into anything,” I said. “I already knew about the creature. I’m still wearing its claw marks, remember?”
Grey shrugged, then turned his head and peered up at me from his arms. The urge to brush his unruly hair back from his eyes washed over me in a wave so strong I had to shove my hands beneath my ass just to keep them to myself. His gaze darkened, growing more intense with each second that passed, and he slowly raised his head.
“It’s not something I’m ever likely to forget,” he said, his voice low and laced with anger. “After seeing what that thing is capable of, I’m not sure how you managed to get away from it.”
“Is that an accusation?” I tried to keep my voice neutral but failed miserably.
“Not everything has to be an argument, Jenn,” he said softly, reaching out to wrap a loose strand of my dark hair around his index finger. “I know you don’t trust me, not after everything that happened, but I wouldn’t ever think you were involved with something like this.”
“That wasn’t what you were saying earlier,” I said, remembering the way he’d used the blade I’d lost at the last crime scene to get me to help him.
“I’m an idiot, okay? Is that what you need to hear?” He pulled away from me and stared out the windshield. “I’m an idiot who allowed his partner to be taken by that thing.”
“Stop beating yourself up over that,” I said. “None of us are infallible. I followed what I thought was your voice up into the cave. It tricked me too.”
“But when you woke up in my arms, you knew…” He sounded utterly miserable as he trailed off. “I can still remember the shifter attack, you know? That still feels more real in my head than what really happened.”
“Do you remember what really happened?”
My question hung in the air between us for a moment before Grey turned toward me. His eyes were filled with anger, terror, and another emotion that was much harder to read.
“It didn’t have a body, it was more like a haze or a mist… That part is still pretty unclear,” he said, closing his eyes. I knew he was replaying the scene in his head, and that given half a chance he would use it to beat himself up even further for not seeing through the creature’s trap.
“I didn’t see it at first when you fell. I ran to you, and this thing seemed to flow down over us, a darkness, and all I could see were its glowing blue eyes.” Grey fell silent, and I wondered if he was going to tell me what happened next. I didn’t have to wait long.
He drew in a long, shuddering breath. “I think I was so shocked that it took me a second to react, but by then it already had a hold on me. I felt it drawing my life, trying to suck it out of my body, but…” Grey opened his eyes and shook his head.
“But what?” I prompted.
“My power prevents another being from tapping it, and so the creature couldn’t feed. Just like if a vamp bit me and drank my blood, it would find no sustenance from me.”
I nodded without saying anything. This was the most Grey had told me about his powers in all the years I’d known him, and I wasn’t going to interrupt him when he was finally opening up to me.
“Alex attacked it,” he said, scrunching up his face as though he was finding it hard to relive the moment. “Or at least, I think he did. I can’t be sure. Things changed then, and the memories the creature implanted in my head are stronger here.”
“Try,” I said, reaching out to touch his arm. His eyes snapped open, and he stared down at my fingers resting against his bare skin.
“Alex pulled his hunting knife. He tried to stab at the creature, but no matter how many times he swiped at that thing, none of his blows struck home…” Grey closed his eyes, a look of despair crossing his face. “He was screaming, oh, god, Jenna, he was screaming for me to help him, and I just stood there, holding you while it…”
“Ssshhh,” I said, reaching out to wrap my arms awkwardly around Grey’s shoulders. Despite the SUV’s large interior, it wasn’t really built for what I was trying to do, and I ended up with the gearstick digging into my hip as I wrapped my blanket-covered arms around Grey. He leaned into me, his face pressed to my chest as he shuddered.
Was he crying? I couldn’t tell, but I could feel his distress nonetheless, the guilt tearing at him. These were the kinds of emotions that would eat him alive, if he let them.
“This isn’t your fault,” I said, running my hands over his back in what I hoped were soothing circles.
“He was under my protection, and I failed him. I should have helped him, I should have saved him…”
“How? By getting yourself killed? Because that’s exactly what would have happened.”
“I should have found a way,” he said, sounding utterly hopeless.
“We’ll get this thing. And when we do, we’re going to kill it. For Alex, for Tracey, for her father, and for all the other kids this thing has murdered.” My voice was hard as I remembered hearing Tracey’s screams as the creature dragged her away.
I knew exactly how Grey felt, because while he’d stood and watched the creature murder Alex, I’d lain in the dirt and listened as it carried her off. Grey thought he’d failed, but he certainly wasn’t the only one. I’d had my fair share of failure, and where this creature was concerned, failure was becoming an all too familiar, if unwelcome, friend.
“We don’t even know what it is,” he said, pulling away from me and straightening up behind the wheel.
“Nothing that a little research can’t fix.” I tried to sound brighter than I felt. The thought of sitting around twiddling my thumbs and reading dusty old tomes while this thing looked for its next victim didn’t sit well with me.
“We need to go and view the bodies in the morgue first,” Grey said, starting the engine, “but it’s going to take them time to collect the newest victims.”
He looked exhausted, with dark circles beneath his eyes and a pale, gaunt face.
“When did you last eat?” I asked.
“Trust you to think of food before a trip to the morgue,” he said, not unkindly. Instead, I heard resignation and exhaustion.
“I’m thinking you worked some serious magic up there and need to replace the lost calories.” I left out the part where I too needed to eat. The less he knew about my abilities, the better for both of us, and the safer for everyone involved.
He started to shake his head, but I raised my hand, cutting him off before he could even get the denial out. “I’m not taking no for an answer. We can do drive-thru if that makes you feel better, but we’re going to get something to eat, Druid, like it or lump it.”
That made him laugh, the sound joyous and carefree as it filled the car. It was the first truly genuine laugh I’d heard from him since he’d come to see me, and it caused an ache to grow in my chest.
I’d missed that laugh.
Hell, who was I kidding, I’d missed him, even if I wasn’t fully willing to admit that fact to myself.
“Fine, I know a place we can go,” he said, turning the wheel and gunning the engine so we left the scene in a screech of rubber.
Without another word, I settled back against the seat and closed my eyes.
The sight of Alex’s unseeing eyes as the rats tore into him filled my head.
I balled my hands into fists in my lap as guilt turned my stomach acid against me. I would kill this shadow creature, whatever it was. I would kill it, and I would salt the earth where it died so it could never come back. So that it could never destroy another innocent life.
I could only hope that I managed to get to it before it struck again. I had seen enough death, and I was done watching those around me suffer.
Chapter 19
Grey parked the car next to what looked like a Tudor cottage; the black wooden beams that crossed the white walls stood out like shadows in the darkening sky. But the warm glow cast out through the thick glass gave the pla
ce a welcoming appearance. I stared at it for a moment, soaking up the architecture.
“You ready?” he asked, the interior light flickering on as he pushed his door open.
“I thought we were getting something to eat?”
“We are, this place does the best pub grub in the area.”
I gave him a sceptical glance. It looked nice enough, but I was getting more of a ‘tourist trap’ vibe from the place, and the thought of sitting beside laughing groups of people intent on having a good time didn’t sit well with me.
I was soaked to the skin and every inch of my body ached, and not just because of my latest run-in with the creature. I hadn’t healed properly from our first encounter, and the lack of sleep and food were adding to my difficulties.
“Trust me, Jenn, this place is good,” he said, softer this time.
Nodding, I reluctantly removed my blanket and slid from my side of the car, the gravel crunching beneath my boots as I followed him across the parking lot to the open front door.
The moment I crossed the threshold, my senses were assaulted with the rich scents of gravy and ale, and my mouth instantly started to water. Closing my eyes, I paused in the doorway, drawing in the scents and the murmurs of the gathered guests.
“You okay?” Grey whispered against my ear. The press of his chest against my body warmed me from the outside in, and for the first time in days I felt some of my tension slip away.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said, opening my eyes to find his face only inches from mine. “This place is good.”
He gave me a wide, genuine grin that tugged at my heart, and I stuffed my hands into my pockets to stop from reaching out to him. What was wrong with me these days? I’d thought I was over him, and yet he was back in my life for only five minutes before I was fawning all over him again.
“I told you you’d like it here. Wait ’til you try the food.” He turned away and headed for a booth in the far corner, next to a wide-open fire. I followed a couple of paces behind him and slid onto the bench opposite him.
My skin prickled, and I fought the urge to glance over my shoulder at the other people in the bar. I didn’t like sitting with my back to the door; it went against every one of my instincts, but Grey had taken the seat in the corner with his back to the wall, giving him the advantage of watching everyone who came and went. And while I could have slipped in beside him, the thought of sitting pressed so close to his body made me uncomfortable. I was already wound tight enough as it was without adding to my misery.
Grey’s dark eyes met mine, and his grin lost some of its happiness. He leaned across the worn tabletop, his fingers tracing a deep score that marred the dark oak.
“None of this is your fault,” he said, his words catching me completely by surprise.
Rather than jump on him for his statement, I waited for him to continue. It wasn’t like him to even insinuate blame, and I couldn’t help but feel I was missing something vital in the conversation.
“Alex knew the risks,” he continued. “He knew what the job entailed, and he agreed to it.”
I bit down on my tongue to keep from answering him. There was no point in bringing up my belief that Alex had been too young. He looked barely old enough to legally drink, never mind work for the likes of Division 6. He hadn’t really lived yet, so how could he be old enough to make such important decisions? Decisions that had led to his death.
“He was stubborn, you know? Didn’t want to listen when I said he needed some more experience before coming out on a case like this…” Grey stared out through the lead-lined window, but I knew he wasn’t really seeing what was outside. He’d always been like this, and he would replay Alex’s death over and over until it drove him mad.
It hit me then that he was waiting for me to blame him, to tell him he’d been wrong to let Alex out in the field. That he had failed to be the responsible adult. And if that was what he truly wanted from me, then he could wait until Hell froze over.
“Stop blaming yourself,” I said.
“If not me, then who?”
“Blame the creature that murdered him. Blame the assholes you work for. Hell, blame Alex for refusing to listen to sense, if you have to. But this,” I said, “this is not your fault.”
“I…” Grey started to speak, but I raised my hand, effectively cutting him off.
“I don’t want to hear how you should have been some kind of superman and avoided the creature’s ability to mind-fuck you. I mean, I don’t want to sound big-headed, but I’m way more powerful than you are and it still mind-fucked me.” I kept my expression utterly serious and my voice flat.
Grey stared at me for a second before starting to laugh. The sound was infectious, and as he doubled over, tears running down his face, I couldn’t help but laugh with him. Maybe it was the exhaustion, the hunger, the emotion of losing Alex, but we sat in the booth laughing our asses off as the others in the pub shot us curious glances.
“You two want menus?” A female voice cut through our laughter, and I turned to meet the violet gaze of an Amazonian fae. Magic seemed to fizz in the air around her, and it took me a second to focus in on her properly.
Her blue hair was secured in a messy French braid that fell below her hips. She flipped it back over her shoulder like a whip and stared down at me like I was a bug that had crawled into her pub.
“Yeah, two, please,” I said, scrubbing at the tears that continued to course down my cheeks.
“Siobhan, this is Jenna Faith,” Grey said, sliding out of the booth. “Jenna, this is Siobhan Keene, owner of the pub, and the best cook in England.”
“Only England?” She pretended to sound offended. “Last time you said it was the realm.”
Grey grinned at her, and before I could open my mouth, she’d dragged him into an embrace, her lips finding his as her hands slid around his neck and twined in his hair. I dropped my shocked gaze to the scarred table. An ugly combination of jealousy and rage swelled in my chest, practically choking the air from my lungs.
Cut the crap, Jenna. What did you expect? Of course he moved on. Who wouldn’t with someone like Siobhan on offer?
“Shit,” Grey said, sounding flustered, and if I hadn’t been so irritated, I might have found the look on his face funny.
“It’s been too long, Grey,” Siobhan practically purred, and I cast a sideways glance up at the two of them. She trailed her finger down over his cheek, and Grey caught her hand in his.
I contemplated leaving. Had he lost his mind, bringing me here? Was this some kind of cruel and unusual punishment? If so, then it was definitely working.
Grey laughed, and the sound grated on my ears. I pushed back against the bench as the other woman slammed a menu down onto the table in front of me.
“Your usual?” she said to Grey.
“Siobhan,” Grey said, “you can drop the act. Jenna is one of us.”
Surprise slammed into me, and I practically rocked in my seat as I shot Grey a confused glance. What the hell was he talking about?
“Oh, shit,” Siobhan said. “I’m so sorry.” The fae’s sudden contrition took me by surprise, especially when she grabbed my arm and dragged me from the booth and into her arms.
She smelled of bread, rosemary, and sweet summer strawberries; there were other herbs in the mix, but I couldn’t quite discern them as she crushed me against her body. I flailed against her for a moment, unsure of what I was supposed to do, and she used my uncertainty against me, tilting her face down as she pressed her lips to mine.
Shock rooted me to the floor as my breath caught in my lungs. Magic raced across my skin, and I opened my eyes, meeting Siobhan’s violet gaze. The colour bled out into her eyes, making her look almost blind. And I could feel her magic spreading inside my head like hundreds of tiny fingers, sifting through my brain, probing and searching.
I jerked out of her grip and pressed the tip of my karambit to her throat. She released me, her eyes widening in shock as I pushed the tip a little harder. A
tiny droplet of her blood balanced against the steel. She released me and I took a stumbling step backward, bumping the edge of the table with my hip hard enough that pain flared inside me.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I practically spat the words at her as I sought to keep my temper in check.
“I’m so sorry,” she said, reaching out toward me. I kept the blade out in front of me, an unspoken warning that if she came closer I would gut her before she would even know what hit her. When I didn’t respond, she curled her fingers back and let her hand drop back to her side. “I didn’t know. If I had, I wouldn’t have tried to read you like that.”
“Read me? Lady, you weren’t trying to read me, you were inside my goddamned head!”
“I was just—” But she cut herself off, sealing her lips shut as she gave me a defiant glare.
“You were just what?” I demanded, flipping the knife over as I folded my arms over my chest in an attempt to stop myself from trembling. I was dangerously close to completely losing my temper. The days of others violating me, sifting through my thoughts, owning me, using my body as both their toy and weapon, were long gone, or at least that was what I’d told myself. And yet she had waltzed into my brain like she owned the joint.
“Siobhan, what did you do?” Grey sounded as though he was barely keeping his rage in check.
“I know what you’re like,” she said, turning to Grey. “You always fall for the wrong kind, and then they walk all over you, breaking your heart, and I’m left to pick up the pieces.”
My anger suddenly slipped through my fingers, leaving me with an empty feeling in the pit of my stomach. She’d been worried about Grey. Worried that I wanted to hurt him, that I would break his heart.
I shot Grey a quick look, and his face was a mask of shock and embarrassment. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes snapped with anger, but I couldn’t tell who he was mad at.
“I don’t need you to protect me,” he said, his voice low and dangerous.
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