by Cindy Kirk
“Just give us the basics,” Lexi said. “We’ll fill in the blanks.”
“Actually nothing happened,” Rachel said.
“Uh, sorry.” July shook her head. “Not buying it.”
“It’s the truth.” Rachel wondered why she suddenly felt so regretful. “Derek was sitting next to me on the love seat. We were talking and drinking wine. I must have fallen asleep. When I woke up, he was right there.”
“And then…?” July prompted.
“We got up and had breakfast.” Rachel saw no reason to mention that she’d wanted him to kiss her. And, God help her, make love to her.
The intensity of her physical desire had shocked her. Although Mickie had been in no hurry to leave, she’d had to get out of there before Derek saw through her.
“Having a man in your life can be a beautiful thing,” Lexi said, her eyes dreamy.
“If it’s the right man,” Mary Karen said.
“I had the right man,” Rachel said, reminding her friends and herself. “I’m not looking for another.”
“We’re not saying you should marry the guy.” July pulled the bottle from her son’s mouth and gently lifted him to her shoulder.
“But you do enjoy his company,” Mary Karen pointed out.
“And he’s wonderful with Mickie,” Lexi added.
“She adores him,” Rachel admitted. “But I can’t be with him because of her.”
Lexi covered Rachel’s hand with her own. “Since Tom died, your feet have been planted in the past. Why don’t you try living in the present for a couple weeks? No worries about yesterday. Or tomorrow. Simply enjoy the right now.”
“You wouldn’t be betraying Tom by having a male friend,” Mary Karen said, her blue eyes dark and intense.
July offered a reassuring smile. “Nothing will happen that you don’t want to happen.”
They weren’t saying anything Rachel hadn’t told herself. Still, hearing the words from women she trusted made her feel better. Especially Mary Karen’s comment.
Seeing Derek at the grocery store had been brutal. She hadn’t known what to say without giving her secret yearnings away…so she’d said as little as possible.
“There’s no reason we can’t be friends,” she said almost to herself. “I’ll just have to make sure he understands there will be no kissing…or…anything else.”
July tilted her head. “Has he tried to kiss you again?”
Rachel shook her head. Derek had been a perfect gentleman. It troubled her that the thought was more depressing than comforting.
“Well, when he makes a move, you can decide what you want to do,” Lexi said. “After all, lots of friends kiss. Some even hop into bed with each other every now and then.”
“Isn’t that right, Mary Karen?” July’s gaze settled on her sister-in-law. “You and Travis kiss sometimes, yet you’re just friends.”
Rachel turned to the young mother of three, not bothering to hide her surprise.
“There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a little friendly kissing,” Mary Karen said in a cavalier tone, even though two bright spots of pink dotted her cheeks. “Where it can get hinky is when you let it go farther.”
Chapter Ten
Mickie eased back into the shadows of the hall and gave Addie a silent high-five. But by the time she and her friend reached the living room, her joy had begun to sputter.
Over the years, Mickie had experienced her share of disappointments. Just because Rachel was agreeable to being friends with Derek at this moment didn’t mean she’d be agreeable tomorrow. After all, look how she’d been to him at the store.
“The boys are fighting again,” Addie sniffed.
Mickie pulled her thoughts back to the present, just in time to see Caleb grab a cell phone from his brother’s hands, then leap from the sofa, his twin on his heels.
“Give it to me,” Connor growled, holding out his hand.
“No,” Caleb shouted, hiding the cell phone behind his back.
Mickie sighed. If this didn’t get settled, she wouldn’t be able to hear the television, much less talk to Addie about Rachel and Mr. Rossi. She stepped in front of Caleb. “Why won’t you give Connor the phone?”
“Cuz he wants to text Travis and ask him if he’ll take us to the movies Friday night.” Caleb settled his gaze on his brother. “Stupid dodo head.”
Mickie stared. The boy’s eyes sparkled. It was almost as if Caleb enjoyed calling his brother names.
“You’re the stupid one.” Connor glared at his twin. “Everybody texts.”
“Yeah, but they can spell,” Caleb retorted.
Mickie glanced at Addie for interpretation of little-boy-speak.
“They’re in kindergarten,” Addie said in a stage whisper loud enough to reach any back row. “They don’t know how to spell big words, like movies.”
“That’s why I said we should call Travis,” Caleb said.
Mickie turned to Connor. “Forget texting until you’re in first grade.”
Connor expelled a harsh breath. “Fine,” he said through clenched teeth. “Speed dial six.”
The boys, along with their mother’s phone, disappeared down the hall.
Rachel expelled a heavy sigh and sank into the soft sofa.
“What’s the matter with you? You should be twirling right now.” Addie flung out her arms and gave a little spin. “Didn’t you hear? Your mom agreed to be Mr. Rossi’s friend.”
Her mom. Although Rachel wasn’t her mother—not yet anyway—Mickie liked the sound of the words. She held the hope close to her heart even as worry coursed through her veins. “But she already told him she didn’t want to see him again.”
“No worries,” Addie said with a dismissive wave. “My mommy says men don’t listen very well.”
Mickie paused. She’d never heard that before, but it made sense. Aunt Amy had told Uncle Wayne to do lots of things—sometimes in a very loud voice—but he never seemed to do any of them, so maybe Addie was right.
“It has something to do with being a boy,” Addie continued. “I don’t think their ears work the same as girls.”
Mickie thought for a moment. Although Rachel had been looking right at Mr. Rossi when she’d said those horrible words to him Monday morning, he hadn’t gotten upset. And today he’d been very nice to both of them.
He acted as if…Mickie’s heart picked up speed…as if he’d never heard Rachel say she didn’t want to see him again.
Mickie trembled with excitement…and relief. There was still hope. Still a chance that she could end up staying in Jackson Hole with Rachel and Mr. Rossi. Still a chance they could be a family.
Rachel pulled into the parking lot of the National Museum of Wildlife Art, wondering if she’d ever really know what made little girls tick. Since Mickie had first come to stay with her, Rachel had tried to interest the ten-year-old in going through the museum without success. Then two minutes ago they were driving down Highway 89 when the girl practically jumped out of her seat insisting she really, really, really wanted to stop.
“It’s a cool place.” Rachel stepped from the vehicle. “I think you’ll like—”
“C’mon,” Mickie called, already halfway up the sidewalk. “Let’s get inside.”
Although the air held a bite, it wasn’t that cold. Still Rachel hustled inside. Once she’d paid for their admission, Mickie grabbed her hand and pulled her along. “There’s someone, ah, something we need to see.”
Rachel stopped, now thoroughly confused. “You’ve never been here. How do you even know what you’re looking for?”
Mickie hesitated. “Addie comes here with her mom and dad all the time.”
Ah, now it made sense.
“Honey, just because Addie saw something here doesn’t mean we’ll be able to see it, too. They have what are called ‘traveling’ exhibits that—”
“If I didn’t know better I’d think you two were following me.”
Rachel’s breath caught in her throat at th
e familiar baritone. She whirled. “Derek.”
She’d expected to see paintings and photographs and bronze sculptures in the beautiful building made of native rock. She hadn’t expected to see him. For whatever reason, Mickie didn’t seem as surprised.
He rocked back on his heels looking incredibly appealing in his dark pants and a sweater. “What brings you here on a Thursday afternoon?”
After her conversation with her friends, Rachel had considered calling him, but that seemed more of a “I want a relationship with you” than “I want to be friends.” She’d hoped they’d run into each other. Now that they had, she wasn’t going to blow the opportunity.
“Mickie wanted to see an exhibit that Addie mentioned to her.” Rachel smiled warmly. She should tell him she’d changed her mind. This was the opportunity. But the desire coursing through her veins at his nearness was…disturbing. The reaction seemed a little too strong for a friend.
Derek shifted his attention to Mickie. “What exhibit did you come to see?”
The girl took a step to the side and pointed in no specific direction. “Just, ah, one back there. I’ll look for it while you and Rachel talk.”
She slipped past him and didn’t stop or turn around even when Rachel called her name.
“Kids.” Rachel shook her head and chuckled.
“It’s a great museum. I enjoyed going through it.” He glanced at his watch.
“Are you leaving?” She did her best to keep the disappointment from her voice.
“I’m skiing Snow King at one-thirty.”
“With Travis?”
“Actually a friend is in town for the day and wanted to get together.” His voice took on a teasing tone. “I do have more than one friend, you know.”
Rachel swallowed past the sudden lump in her throat. “Boyfriend? Or girlfriend?”
“Matt and I played ball together in college.”
Although she told herself it didn’t matter, her knees went weak with relief.
He stared expectedly as if waiting for her to hit the conversational ball he’d pitched.
Have you missed me? she wanted to ask. Do you wish we were still friends? But she told herself not to rush. Ease into those questions. She clasped her hands together. “So, how’ve you been?”
“Since I saw you at the grocery store?” His blue eyes twinkled. “I’ve been good. Yourself?”
Missing you. “Just peachy.”
Dear God, had she really said peachy?
Derek grinned. “Sounds like you’ve been especially good. Or maybe it’s just that I’m hungry.”
She met his gaze and familiar electricity engulfed her. Rachel now understood her hesitation, why she hadn’t told him she wanted to be friends. It wasn’t the friendship she was worried about, it was this physical attraction, this chemistry between them.
He gently touched her hand.
The skin turned hot beneath his fingers.
“Tell Mick goodbye for me?”
“Of course.” Rachel couldn’t believe he was leaving. She couldn’t believe she was letting him go. “I’ll see you around.”
He winked. “I’m convinced it’s inevitable.”
And then he was gone.
Rachel found Mickie toward the back of the museum, her head tilted to one side, staring at an oversize portrait of a buffalo.
The child’s green eyes lit up when she saw Rachel. But her smile quickly turned to a frown. “Where’s Mr. Rossi?”
“He left.” Rachel tried not to let her own disappointment show. “He was heading out to Snow King to ski.”
“We could go with him.” The words tumbled from the child’s lip one after the other. “I’m lots better than I used to be and—”
“Honey.” Rachel gently placed a hand on the child’s shoulder, stilling the stream of words. “He already had plans with someone.”
Mickie turned pale. “With a girl?”
“A guy he used to play baseball with,” Rachel said, wondering why it mattered to Mickie. “He was running late, but wanted to make sure I told you goodbye.”
“Is he coming over later?” she pressed.
I wish.
Rachel shook her head, not trusting her voice.
Mickie glanced at the floor. When she looked up, her lips dropped like a sad little clown. “I don’t feel so good. Is it okay if we go home?”
Even though they’d just arrived, Rachel didn’t mind leaving. She was feeling kind of sick herself. She’d had her chance to tell Derek she wanted to be his friend, but she’d choked.
Even though he’d appeared confident that their paths would cross again, Rachel wasn’t convinced. She had the feeling she’d blown her opportunity. And she’d learned a long time ago that sometimes there are no second chances.
After the conversation with Rachel at the wildlife museum, Derek spent the rest of the day trying to put her out of his head. She’d been a thousand times friendlier than she’d been at the grocery store. In fact, for a second he had the distinct impression she’d changed her mind and now wanted to be friends.
But that was probably wishful thinking.
The pointless speculation didn’t end on the slopes. When he got home he kept his phone close to make sure he didn’t miss a call or a text from her. She knew how to reach him. While decorating his tree the other night, they’d gotten silly. She’d programmed her number into his phone and he’d put his in hers.
By the time he went to bed he’d almost convinced himself that he should make the overture. Thankfully, the next morning he felt stronger. When his resolve to let her set the pace once again began to waver, he made plans to meet Travis at Jackson Hole resort. Yet when he passed the bunny slope, he remembered Mickie’s first successful run. And when he and Travis hit the expert slopes, all he could think of was the joy on Rachel’s face when they’d skied together.
“Interested?” Travis asked as they walked toward the lodge.
“Yes,” Derek said. There was no use lying any longer. He was interested in Rachel. Very interested.
“Even if you don’t like karaoke, there are lots of pretty women,” Travis said. “Not to mention cold beer. And the best pepperoni pizza in Jackson.”
Derek cocked his head. “Huh?”
“Willy’s Place. Cheap draws. Great pizza. Hot women. You in?”
Derek smiled. Right now he was more interested in hot pizza than hot women. Still, if a little feminine conversation would take his mind off Rachel, he was all for it.
Rachel glanced at the clock on her living-room wall while Mickie added up how much Rachel owed her for landing on Boardwalk. The little girl was a Monopoly tycoon. She’d put hotels on her many properties and giggled every time Rachel’s “iron” landed on one of them. But occasionally she’d turn quiet and a look of sadness would fill her eyes. That was when Rachel knew that Mickie was missing a certain former baseball player.
Rachel massaged her temples.
“You okay?” Mickie reached over and took the play money she was owed from Rachel’s dwindling stash.
Rachel forced a smile. “Just a bit of a headache.”
Mickie’s gaze searched hers. “I miss him, too.”
Although Rachel kept the smile on her face, she was sure it looked as frozen as it felt. While talking with Derek at the museum she’d done her best to be open and approachable. But then she’d gotten scared. Scared he’d want more than she could give. Scared friendship wouldn’t be enough for her either.
“Why don’t you call him?” Mickie suggested.
Rachel moved her fingers from her temples to massage her equally tense neck muscles.
Mickie’s gaze narrowed. “You don’t look good.”
Rachel shrugged.
“Aunt Amy used to get a lot of headaches. Especially when Uncle Wayne was home.” Mickie thought for a moment. “She’d lock herself in the bathroom and take a bubble bath. By the time she unlocked the door, Uncle Wayne had left with his friends and her headache had floated away on a bu
bble. I bet it could help you, too.”
“Perhaps later,” Rachel said, although a steamy tub filled with bubbles did sound appealing. “First we need to pick up the game and—”
“No worries. I’ll do it,” Mickie said, sounding almost eager.
By now the vise around Rachel’s head had tightened and her head was pounding. “Sure you don’t mind?”
“It’ll be fun.” Mickie slung an arm around the neck of the bloodhound who had stayed close to her side all night. “Fred will help me.”
“Well, I thank you both.” Rachel rose to her feet and reached for her phone.
Quick as lightning, the child’s hand closed over it. “Why don’t you leave it here? That way if anyone calls I can answer it while you’re in the bathtub.”
Rachel pulled her brows together. “Who’d be calling this late at night?”
“Maybe Mr. Rossi.” Mickie scrambled to her feet, her expression anxious.
Rachel sighed. To have the faith of a child… “I’ll leave it. But, honey, if he was going to call, he’d have done it by now.”
“Maybe he will. Maybe he won’t.” But the look on Mickie’s face said the girl still had hope.
Ignoring the pounding in her head, Rachel pulled the girl into her arms and held her close. “It’s no big deal, Mick. You and me, we have fun, just the two of us.”
To her surprise, Mickie didn’t pull back. Instead, she rested her head against Rachel’s chest. “I love you.”
The words were so soft Rachel wondered if she’d only imagined them. She tightened her hold on the child. “I love you, too.”
Mickie lifted her head, her green eyes large. “Does that mean you’re going to keep me?”
Rachel wanted to weep at the bald hope in the child’s eyes. She’d already made an appointment to meet with Mickie’s social worker after the Christmas holidays to see what adopting Mickie would entail. But for now Rachel wouldn’t make promises she wasn’t sure she could keep.
“I’d love to keep you. But you deserve a mom and a dad.”
“But I want you.”