by Cindy Kirk
“I’m sorry, honey.” His mother’s tone turned conciliatory. “You’re a smart man. You don’t need me second guessing your decisions. I’m excited to meet your Rachel. I assume I’ll get that chance at the awards ceremony next month?”
Derek had forgotten all about the program the second week in January. His award for broadcast excellence had thrilled the network execs. Now that he thought about it, this would be the perfect opportunity for Rachel—and Mickie—to meet his family.
“We haven’t nailed that down yet,” he said, realizing suddenly that the month was almost over and there wasn’t much time left. Not much time at all.
Rachel glanced at the clock on her mantel. “If Mr. Rossi doesn’t get here soon, we’re going to be late for the performance.”
“He’ll be here,” Mickie said.
Rachel smiled at the confidence in the girl’s tone. Derek need look no further than Mickie to find his number-one fan. And tonight, dressed in a plaid skirt and tights topped with a kelly-green sweater, Mickie looked more like a young lady than a child.
Despite knowing the performance was at a high school auditorium, Rachel had dressed up. The cherry-red cashmere wrap dress was a new purchase. Soft against her skin, the garment made her feel festive yet sexy.
When she’d put it on, Rachel couldn’t help thinking how easy it would be for Derek to take it off…
Of course he wouldn’t be taking anything off tonight. There would be no making love. Not with Mickie in the house.
Making love.
They hadn’t made love. She and Tom had made love. Many, many, many times. Because they were in love. While Tom might not have been the most adventurous lover, she’d always been satisfied. More than satisfied.
Rachel slanted a glance to the side table where her wedding picture sat, suddenly needing to see his face.
Her breath caught. “Where is it?”
Mickie looked up from the sofa where she’d been working with Fred on his tricks. “Where’s what?”
“My wedding picture.” Her frantic gaze slid to the mantel. Her heart rose to her throat. “The one taken on our honeymoon is missing, too.”
“They’re not missing,” Mickie said in a matter-of-fact tone, lifting Fred’s paw and shaking it. “I put them away.”
“You what?” Rachel’s voice rose despite her best efforts to control it. “Why would you do something like that?”
Mickie patted the bloodhound on the head, stood and smoothed her skirt. “Because if I were Mr. Rossi, seeing all those pictures of another man would make me uncomfortable.”
Rachel took a deep breath and let it out slowly, keeping a tight grip on her anger. “This is my house, Mickie. I can have pictures of my husband in every room if I want.”
“He’s not your husband.” Mickie met her gaze with a belligerence that set Rachel’s teeth on edge. “He was your husband. But he’s not now. He’s dead.”
“Put them back,” Rachel ground out the order between clenched teeth, her entire body trembling with emotion. “Put them back now.”
When Mickie’s chin lifted in a stubborn tilt, words—harsh and angry—pushed at Rachel’s lips, but she clamped her mouth shut. She took a deep breath and counted to ten. Then she began to count again. She’d made it to seven when her phone rang. She pulled it from her purse, glancing at the readout. “Derek. Hello.”
“You sound funny. Everything okay?”
Out of the corner of her eyes she saw Mickie jerk open a rarely used kitchen drawer and pull out two frames. “Fine.” Her voice sounded tight even to her own ears. “Where are you?”
“Five minutes away,” he said. “I’m looking forward to tonight. It should be great.”
Mickie muttered as she slammed the photos back in place.
“Shrine” was all Rachel heard.
“Rachel? Are you there?”
“I’m here,” she said. “You’re right. We’re going to have so much fun.”
She hoped that saying it aloud would make it true. Unfortunately the sullen look on Mickie’s face told her the odds weren’t good.
Once Derek arrived at Rachel’s home, it didn’t take long to conclude that something was definitely wrong. Although both Rachel and Mickie put up a polite front, the tension between the two continued on the ride to the high school. Oh, they both talked. To him. Not to each other.
Once they reached the auditorium, Mickie attached herself to Addie like a drowning sailor to a life raft.
Rachel’s mood seemed to improve during the performance. Although he laid his arm across the back of her seat, he didn’t take her hand. The rigid set of her shoulders said she wouldn’t welcome the touch.
“Like it?” he whispered when Scrooge had his epiphany.
“I love it.” Her eyes shone in the dim light and Derek’s spirits lifted.
Yet after the performance, when Mary Karen invited everyone over to her house for hot chocolate, Rachel declined. Mickie cast a resentful look in the direction of her foster mom, but Rachel appeared not to notice.
By the time Derek pulled into Rachel’s driveway, he’d had enough. Enough of the tension. Enough of the phony politeness. Enough of feeling caught in the middle. And he knew if the two of them didn’t settle this—and settle it fast—Christmas would be ruined.
And Mickie needed to experience a merry Christmas.
So did Rachel.
Derek shut off the engine and turned in his seat. “Who’s gonna tell me what’s going on?”
“Nothing is going on.” The glare Mickie shot Rachel was at odds with her cheery tone. “Everything is fine.”
“Mickie and I had a disagreement right before you came over,” Rachel said. “But we’re over it. Right, Mick?”
“Yeah,” Mickie grumbled. “Whatever.”
Derek had been a team captain many times during his high school and college days. Even during his pro career, he’d often been pulled into a leadership role. He’d lost track of the number of times he’d helped players settle their differences for the sake of team harmony. “Have you considered talking about it, airing your feelings?”
“She ordered me around like I was some slave.” Mickie’s eyes flashed green fire. “Didn’t really listen to what I had to say. Didn’t care about my opinion.”
“And you didn’t care about my feelings,” Rachel shot back before clamping her mouth shut.
“You two need to talk this out in a calm, rational manner.” Derek shifted his gaze from Rachel to Mickie.
“I tried to explain,” Mickie said. “She interrupted me. She didn’t even try to listen—”
Derek held up a hand stilling the girl’s diatribe. “Ground rules. First, you must be completely honest about your feelings. Second, you let the other one talk without interrupting. Third, and most importantly, before you start the discussion you have to hug.”
The last rule was a technique his mother had employed during his sister’s tumultuous teenage years. It must have worked because his mom and Sarah were very close now.
Rachel reached for the handle but didn’t pull the door open. “I’m willing to give it a try.”
“Me, too,” Mickie said, though her chin was still lifted. She turned to Derek. “Are you coming in?”
“Not tonight,” he said. The child looked so distressed that he gave her a reassuring smile. “Tomorrow. Or Tuesday for sure when we go skiing.”
“Promise?”
He lifted his hand and tossed up fingers in a long-forgotten salute. “Scout’s honor.”
Seemingly appeased, the child turned to Rachel. The smile on her lips didn’t reach her eyes. “May I have the keys, please, so I can let Fred out?”
“Thank you. I’d appreciate that.” Rachel dug in her purse for a second, pulled out the keys, then dropped them onto Mickie’s outstretched palm.
Mickie didn’t meet Rachel’s gaze and couldn’t seem to get out of the vehicle fast enough.
Rachel waited until she was out of earshot to speak. “I want
you to know that I am capable of dealing with Mickie on my own.”
“I realize that.” He tugged her to him and wrapped his arms around her, holding her loosely. “I didn’t mean to overstep—”
“You didn’t. I should never have gotten so angry with her.” She rested her forehead against his coat and he planted a kiss on the top of her head. “I’m just sorry we didn’t have time to get these issues resolved before you arrived. You didn’t deserve to suffer our drama.”
“Never mind that. I had a great time.” He brushed a strand of hair back from her face. “I always do when I’m with you.”
She lifted her head. “Me, too.”
Was that a sigh he heard?
“Call me later,” he urged. “Let me know how things go with Mickie.”
“I will.” Rachel reached for her door handle, but before she pushed it open, she turned back. “You know, it’s kind of nice.”
“What is?”
“Having a man around.”
“How did it go?” Derek relaxed his back against the pillow. Instead of sticking his phone on the charger, he’d brought it to bed with him, determined not to miss Rachel’s call. He’d been ready to turn out the lights when it rang.
“Good.” Her tone had a lilt to it. The strain that had been in her voice earlier had vanished. “By the way, doing the hug was a very good idea.”
“Were you able to see her side?”
“Yes,” Rachel said. “And I think she understands my feelings better, too.”
Derek was curious about the issue that had polarized them, but she didn’t volunteer the information and he didn’t ask. “Glad to hear it.”
“It may sound crazy, but this experience made me realize just how much I want to be a mom.”
“It’s not crazy at all.” Derek smiled into the phone. “I can easily see you with a half-dozen kids playing at your feet.”
“Yeah, well, that’s not going to happen.”
There was an odd catch in her voice. Surely she didn’t think she was too old to start a family…
“I’m older than you and I still plan on having a houseful of kids,” he said. “It’s not too late for either of us.”
“You’ll be a good dad,” Rachel said.
There was sadness in her voice he didn’t understand. He found himself wishing she was in bed with him now so he could comfort her. He’d discover what was troubling her and make it better.
Because that was what a man did for a woman he loved.
Chapter Fifteen
Rachel had been grocery shopping with Lexi for almost an hour and it seemed as if every aisle of the large store had at least one seasonal display. Rachel slowed her steps, then stopped when Lexi paused the cart in front of a display of chocolate-covered marshmallow snowmen. Her friend picked up a handful of the brightly wrapped treats and tossed them into the cart.
Rachel smiled. “Don’t tell me we’re having those for dessert at the party instead of your famous gingerbread with spiced crème anglaise?”
A sheepish look crossed Lexi’s face. “These little guys are for me. They’re one of my secret passions. Give me Cadbury eggs at Easter and chocolate marshmallow snowmen at Christmas, and I’m happy.”
“No faves at July Fourth? Or Thanksgiving?”
Lexi shrugged, a smile teasing the corners of her lips. “Laugh all you want. I’m sure you have your passions, too.”
“Not unless you count Derek Rossi.”
“Are you saying… Oh. My. God.” Lexi’s gaze searched hers. “You slept with him.”
“Lex,” Rachel hissed. “Keep it down.”
“It’s just that I’m so jazzed.” Even though her eyes still snapped with excitement, Lexi’s voice dropped to a conversational level. “When did this…event occur?”
Rachel sighed, knowing Lexi would hound her until she got some details. “Saturday night.”
“How was he?” Lexi pressed. “I mean, how was it?”
Rachel thought back to all the times she and Tom had made love. Predictable. Pleasurable. But those words didn’t come close to describing Saturday night in front of the fire. “It was…mind-blowing.”
“Oh, Rach, I’m so happy for you.” Were those tears in Lexi’s eyes? “We all love Derek. And you make such a great couple.”
It took a second for the words to fully register.
“Couple?” Rachel’s heart fluttered like a trapped butterfly in her throat. “Derek and I, we’re not a couple. We’re simply FWBs. Friends with benefits.”
By the look on her face, Lexi obviously wasn’t convinced.
“You’re the one who said friends can sleep together,” Rachel reminded her.
“They can.” Lexi’s eyes softened. “But we both know that’s not what’s going on here.”
A shiver of unease traveled up Rachel’s spine. “I don’t know any such thing.”
“This is me. The woman who fell in love with a man who didn’t even know his own name.” Lexi pushed the cart off the main aisle and parked it by a display of holiday cards. “When I realized I was falling in love with Nick, it was scary. But I took a chance and I’m so glad I did.”
“I’m happy it worked for you,” Rachel said. “But Derek is my friend. That’s all.”
Lexi heaved a disappointed sigh. “I really thought it was L-O-V-E between the two of you.”
“Nope. Just H-O-T S-E-X.”
Lexi laughed and they proceeded to the checkout lane. Once there, Rachel busied herself unloading the cart.
“You sly dog.” Lexi chuckled. “When were you going to tell me about the wedding? Were you keeping it a secret until the party?”
Rachel whirled, a carton of whipping cream in hand. “What wedding?”
“Yours.” With a Cheshire-cat smile, Lexi gestured to the rack of tabloids.
Rachel gasped. A picture of her and Derek adorned the front cover of one of the papers. A red arrow pointed to her ring finger. She read the headline:
Did Sexiest Player FINALLY Make It to the Altar?
Rachel opened her mouth, but no words came out.
Lexi snatched the paper from the rack and tossed it on the belt. “If you won’t give me the scoop, I guess I’ll have to get my information elsewhere.”
Her friend’s voice bubbled with laughter, but Rachel wasn’t amused.
The tattooed cashier picked up the paper. After scanning it, she glanced at Rachel, then back at the paper. “Your new hubby’s a hunk. Congrats.”
Rachel blinked.
“Just smile,” Lexi whispered in her ear. “And tell her we’ll drive up for the groceries.”
Derek would never have believed skiing with a bunch of children could be so much fun. Even Travis seemed to be having a good time.
When David offered to watch his nephews so Travis could do his own thing, they all expected the sandy-haired bachelor to jump at the chance. Instead, he stuck around and spent the afternoon on the beginner slope helping the twins.
And when the kids begged them to stop at the lodge for hot chocolate with candy canes, Travis surprised them by coming along.
The pleasant afternoon started to unravel when Connor and Caleb grew bored, grabbed their peppermint sticks and began a sword fight. It completely fell apart when, in trying to stop them, Travis’s cup of cocoa ended up in his lap.
That was when they all decided to call it a day. But Derek still had to take Mickie to Christmas Eve program practice at church. He couldn’t believe she’d turned down Nick’s offer to ride with him and Addie.
After buckling her seat belt, Mickie crossed one leg over the other and swung the top leg back and forth. “Thank you for today, Mr. Rossi. It was a blast.”
Derek put the truck in gear and smiled. It had been heartwarming to see Mickie laughing and playing in the snow. “You’re welcome.”
Mickie stared out the window at a passing minivan filled with parents and children.
“It’s so not fair,” she said with sudden vehemence.
&nbs
p; Confused, Derek cast a sideways glance. Were those tears in her eyes?
“I want to stay here. I want to live with you and Rachel. It’s all I want. It’s all I’ll ever want.”
Derek’s heart gave a lurch. He understood. He didn’t want to be without her or Rachel either.
“You understand…there is no Rachel and me.” Yet.
“There could be.” Mickie stopped swinging her leg and turned in her seat, the tears gone. “You love her, don’t you?”
Derek hesitated. “I do. But I’m not sure how she feels.”
“I know the problem.” Mickie heaved a heavy sigh. “Tom.”
“She still wears his rings.” The words were out of Derek’s mouth before he could stop them. Obviously his conversation with his mother had impacted him far more than he realized.
“She still has his pictures all over the house,” Mickie added.
“He was her husband,” Derek pointed out.
“Was,” Mickie emphasized. “She needs to forget him. You need to make her forget him.”
“The decision to move on is hers alone,” Derek said. “I thought her text meant she was ready. I’m not so sure now.”
Mickie stared at the floorboard. “So it’s hopeless. I go to a group home. You go back to L.A.”
“Not so fast.” Derek wanted to be with Rachel, but even if that didn’t happen, he still wanted Mickie to be his daughter. Yet he didn’t want to give her false hope. “In the past, when I thought about taking in a foster child, I thought I’d have to be married to make it work. And in my mind, the child was always a boy.”
“Yeah.” Mickie slumped back down in her seat. “Everyone wants a boy.”
Derek’s gaze settled on this funny, smart, amazing girl.
“Then I met you,” he said. “And I wondered how I could have been so foolish.”
“Really?”
Derek nodded. “I also met some amazing people who made me realize that life doesn’t have to fit into some nice, neat slot.”
Mickie’s gaze grew puzzled. “I don’t understand.”
“Mary Karen is raising three small boys on her own. Lexi raised Addie by herself until last year when she met Nick.” Derek’s resolve to make this situation work strengthened with each word. “If they can do it, I can, too.”