by Eliza Lloyd
“What or who was that?” Charlie asked.
Imogene brushed past Charlie, ready to scold her daughter, no doubt misbehaving in some ridiculous manner. A four-year-old child should not have control over everyone in her life.
Once she was through the front door, Imogene watched as Lily ran down the hallway, toward the kitchen, followed by Ynez. Madelina trailed at a sedate pace but smiled when she noticed the group.
“Oh, Madame LeClerc! You are home.”
“Yes.”
“She does not want her bath this evening.” Which was no surprise.
Imogene turned to her brother and introduced them. “Charlie, I have to see to a matter. Will you arrange for the luggage?”
Imogene followed the chatter to the kitchen. Ynez was on her knees, reaching for Lily, who had trenched herself in the corner beneath a butcher-block table.
“Lily,” she said, and bent to glance beneath the table. She spoke firmly in French. “Did you not promise to be obedient while I was away?”
“Mama!” she screeched, and crawled her way out. “Mama, you’re home!”
Lily tangled in Imogene’s skirts, her little arms encompassing as much of her mother as she could possibly embrace.
“You’re home.”
Imo pried her loose, bent in front of her and tapped her nose. “I missed you, mon petit lapin.” Imogene cupped Lily’s face and kissed her on the lips. “Were you a good girl?”
“Why did you go away so long?” Lily had big brown eyes and a happy giggle. And beautiful dark hair that curled in soft waves.
“I get to ask the questions. Now, why do you not want to take a bath?” Imogene glanced down to see her daughter was without shoes, her feet were caked in dirt, and she still wore her outdoor play dress, which explained everything. Smudges dotted her face and her once neatly braided hair had strands coming loose.
Imogene’s heart hurt sometimes when she stared at Lily’s beautiful face. She could not see Jack.
“The water is too cold. And Ynez won’t let me play.”
“What did Mama tell you before she left?”
“Listen to Ynez and don’t go to bed dirty.”
“And what else?”
“If I was good you would bring me a present.”
“And have you been good?”
“No.”
Imogene bit back a smile. Lily was spoiled. She’d get her presents anyway.
“Now, why don’t you go upstairs and let Ynez help you? I’ll bring you more hot water.”
When Ynez held Lily’s hand, she said, “We are glad you’re home, madam.”
“And just in time, it seems.”
Madelina stayed behind in the kitchen, setting the teakettle to the fire and preparing a tray of food for the travelers. Laraine came in to help. Imogene followed Ynez, who now had Lily in her arms, carrying her up the stairs.
Charlie stood in the foyer, the last of their luggage and goods piled neatly in a now clean corner.
“I love you, Mama,” Lily said as she was being hauled up the stairs.
Imogene blew a kiss to her daughter, then turned to face her brother.
He stared, blinking a few times. “Your daughter?” he asked quietly.
There was a long moment of silence as they stared at each other.
“Please. Wait for me in here.”
Secrets were always revealed. With time. And the time had come to confess some, not all, the truths surrounding her daughter.
She pushed open the door to the front drawing room—Lud! She had her own drawing room. Ynez and Madelina had worked miracles. The floors were clean but not polished. The used furniture had the dust cloths removed. “We’ll have some food and then we can talk,” Imo said, a bit nervous knowing what she needed to say. It was easier to think about her drawing room than to see the accusation in Charlie’s gaze or answer his questions.
“Putty and soap will do. Don’t go to any trouble.”
“You’ll have more than bread and cheese in my house or my name isn’t Imogene Farrell.”
She hurried to the kitchen, tested the water and then grabbed the pads to hoist the buckets into a better position. She was going to have a nice place for a bath as soon as she could arrange for the repairs. Fancy homes had indoor plumbing and heated water. So would Imogene’s house. Eventually. When they were settled.
Until then she would hoist buckets of hot water up the stairs.
Madelina came running up the stairs. “Ach, madam, if you please.”
“I can carry a bucket.”
“You are the madam. You are not a servant.”
“This is foolish,” she said, but allowed Madelina to wrest the buckets from her grip.
“You have a guest,” she reminded.
“No. I need to spend a few minutes with Lily first.”
“We have her room cleaned up and next to yours such as you wanted. But there is still so much to do.”
When she entered the room, she watched as Ynez coaxed Lily into releasing her doll.
“Lily!” Imogene said sharply. “Why aren’t you in the bath?”
“I was waiting for you.” She tilted her head and smiled.
“Put the doll down.” Ynez hurried to help. Imogene grabbed a towel while Madelina poured a bucket of water into the tub. Hopefully Princess Lily would be satisfied. Once Ynez had stripped her bare, Imogene swept her up in a towel and set her in the tub.
“You shouldn’t go away for so long.”
“Down. All the way.” Lily landed on her bottom with a splash but squirmed about, looking for her washcloth, the one with the embroidered L that Pierre had given her.
“I’ll take care of her from here, madam,” Ynez said.
“No, that’s all right.” Imogene knelt beside the tub and plucked up the special cloth and soap. “Someday I’ll take you to London and you’ll understand why my trip was so long.”
Lily clenched her eyes when Imo scrubbed her face. “Who’s that man?”
“He is your Uncle Charlie. My brother.”
“Oh. Did you bring me a present?” She wriggled with each question.
“I did. You’ll have to wait until tomorrow. It’s packed away for now.”
“Can I sleep in your bed tonight?”
“You have your own bed.”
“Please?” She gripped the edge of the tub with her small hands and pulled close to Imogene’s face. “Please, Mama?”
Imogene kissed her nose. “Only one night. Now let’s wash your hair.”
Ynez had taken Lily’s dirty clothes and left the room. Madelina brought another pail around. Three people to care for one child!
“Hold still.”
Lily sat in the tub again and screwed up her face, waiting for the douse of water. Imogene poured cupfuls through Lily’s hair and rubbed soap in her long locks.
How was it possible Imo had such a vivacious, beautiful little girl? And smart? A twinge of anxiety went through Imo when she thought how smart Lily was going to be. Imogene dreaded picking up a novel. The newspaper with its fine print and big words made her vision go dim. Yes, she could read now, but she was not proficient. What would happen when Lily could read better than her mother? Or do sums better?
“Keep your eyes closed,” she said. Madelina then finished pouring the clean water over Lily’s head and Imo rinsed the last of the suds away.
Lily fisted her hands and rubbed them in her eyes. Imo wrapped the towel around her and carried her to the bed.
“Mama, I’m so glad you’re home.”
Imogene pressed her lips to Lily’s head. “Me too. Now that Laraine is back, will you let her brush your hair?”
Lily nodded. Imo wiped the towel over Lily’s legs and arms then did another scrub over her head before she tried to hand her daughter over.
“Don’t go.” Lily’s little arms clutched about Imo’s neck.
“I’ll be back soon. You need to sleep now, but when you wake up, I’ll introduce you to your Uncle Charlie and—”
&nb
sp; “You’ll give me a present?”
Imo nodded. “Good. Now give Mama a kiss.”
Lily did and then scooted naked from Imo’s lap and ran to Ynez, who promptly slipped a flannel gown over Lily’s head. Imogene usually spent an hour with her before bedtime, but tonight it would have to wait.
As she left the room, she heard Lily say, “Mama said I don’t have to go to bed yet.”
Lily had all the guile of a street child and the coquettish ability to slay people with her charm. The entire household seemed to run on her schedule and whims. She supposed Charlie would succumb as easily as Pierre had. The girl needed discipline, which Imogene was unqualified to hand out.
In truth, Imogene wanted her to be spoiled with all of the best things. Anything Imogene could beg, borrow or steal. Lily would not have the childhood Imogene had, except maybe with the addition of brothers or sisters someday.
There was nothing she missed about growing up in London, except her mam and the camaraderie of her brothers. And Lily made all of the hardship seem like a single raindrop before a perfect rainbow.
Chapter Five
Charlie stood near the windows, looking out into the darkness of a Brighton evening. There were two streetlamps casting shadows upon a passing carriage, rattling off into the night.
“You should have started without me,” Imogene said when she entered the room. The food was spread out on the table and a jug of ale sat in the middle. Laraine had placed a glass of milk on the table near Charlie’s plate.
“Does Jack know?” Charlie said when he turned toward Imo.
“She is Pierre’s daughter.”
“Maybe legally. I wish I could have met your husband. I can’t imagine the benevolence it must have taken to raise another man’s child.” Charlie’s voice was so calm, never accusatory. “Which brings me back to my original question. Does Jack know?”
“Charlie...”
“Seeing her made everything so clear. Did you tell Danny? Of course you must have.”
“No. Danny doesn’t know. Mrs. FitzPatrick doesn’t know. I wasn’t going to tell anyone, but after Pierre...”
“And you wanted to return to England, knowing the secret would come out sooner or later. You didn’t have to leave us. Jack would have provided. We could have still been a family.”
“I’m most sorry for leaving you, Charlie, but I had to go. How could I embarrass Mrs. Fitz? Lord Bancroft would have dismissed her. Where was I to go?”
“To Jack. He fathered a child. He would have done what was right.”
“Please, Charlie. Sit down.”
He held her plain wooden chair and then took his own next to her. Soon she would have more furniture, that of a respectable homemaker.
“I’m not criticizing or judging. I just think a man ought to know what he’s beget and with whom,” he said.
“I don’t know who the father is.” Most days she could convince herself Lily belonged to Jack. There were a few dark days when she had her doubts.
Charlie sat back in his chair. “Well, when you reveal a secret, you don’t do it in a small way.”
“Some things aren’t meant to be shared.”
“Imo, I try to be honest when I am speaking to the Creator. It would be hard to pray about the situation if I didn’t know the whole truth.”
“Yeah, well, I prayed about it plenty, so you don’t need to ruin your knees.”
Charlie reached for his milk and slurped back half of the glass. He set his hand over hers.
“You got milk on your lip, Reverend.”
He chuckled, licked it away and then took a deep breath. “You’ve carried a big weight. I wish you could have shared it with me and Danny.”
“You were too young. And Danny would have committed murder, had he knew. Had he known. And I didn’t know I was pregnant when I left London. I found out later.”
“You’re making me dizzy. What happened? There was someone else? The Scot?”
“Hell no! Why did you bring him into this?” Imogene leaned back with her arms crossed.
“You loved Jack. How could there have been someone else?”
“I was a whore, Charlie. How do you think?”
“You were Jack’s whore. There was a difference.”
“Just ’cause I’m your sister?”
“No. Because you wouldn’t bed someone as long as you belonged to Jack.”
“Does the Archbishop know you talk like that? He might reconsider your ordination.”
“What happened the day you left? Something went on at Jack’s house. I thought you were just upset because he left you to marry Catherine.”
“He was marrying Catherine no matter what. I knew that from the first day.”
“Then what happened? Did you fight with Jack?”
“No. Oh Charlie, if it were only that easy to tell.” Tears welled up and then spilled over. She’d never really cried about it before. Rape just seemed to be the plight of a poor woman. A whore could whine and complain about who she got her money from or how they treated her during. As long as she got paid, there was little she could say.
And that asshole Shiffington could pretend all he wanted. He had intended to rape her, money or no.
She brushed away the tears—they never solved anything. “It was the day of Jack’s wedding. After he left for the church. He asked me to remain his mistress after he married. I said no. He said I could stay, but we had words and he left.”
“So you never told him?”
“How could I?” Jack had refused to speak ill of his betrothed and Imo supposed there were other reasons to marry besides love. “She was to be his wife. For good or bad. Oh, I wish I had told him beforehand. When I first found out.”
“I seem to recall you were on a mission that night.”
“I just wanted to know what Catherine looked like. I wanted to see them together. I didn’t count on the fact she didn’t love Jack in return. If she had loved him, maybe I could have let my feelings for him go.”
Back then, Imogene had been curious—and jealous—of Catherine and had concocted a plan to see Jack and Catherine together at some fancy ball. What she had seen left her heartsick, and as Imo and Charlie had climbed down from the high wall surrounding the mansion, she saw Catherine again. Only she was with Shiffington.
Imogene understood cheatin’ and lyin’ and stealin’—she’d done it every day of her life just to stay alive. She didn’t understand betrayal of someone you loved—not when everything in life had been easy. Not when Catherine had Jack.
“You have no idea how much I wish I didn’t know.” Imogene reached for a glass of ale, wishing the drink was a sturdy Scottish whiskey.
“Hmm.”
“Catherine was only half of the problem. Shiffington...Shiffington was worse.”
“Jack’s friend?”
“Yes. I was alone in Jack’s house. I heard footsteps. I thought it might be you. Or maybe Jack coming back. But it was Shiffington. He said now that Jack was done with me, I could be his whore. That he could be my protector. When I told him no, he... Well, he did what you’d expect of a man who wanted something he couldn’t have. He took it.”
“Oh, Imo. Why didn’t you tell Danny?”
“What could he do? What would he do? Kill him? End up transported like Frank? Or worse?”
“So he’s the reason you left?”
“I went to the Scot, but he was barely any better. Danny had given me some money. I had some from Jack. I was blinded by the need to get away from everything. Even Jack. I couldn’t think about anything but hiding. I didn’t mean to leave you behind, Charlie, I didn’t.”
“Imogene.” He swore then. A word she had never heard pass his lips. He ran both hands through his hair.
“And then I found out I was kid with, well, how could I know who? Even when Lily popped out, I couldn’t even guess. She’s Jack’s, though. In my heart, I know she’s Jack’s.”
“But you’re not sure?”
“Hell no! W
hy would I keep it a secret, if I knew?” An exaggeration. She would have kept it a secret from Jack no matter what.
“Oh, I’m so sorry, Imo. I had no idea.”
“I know it seemed as if I abandoned you.” She entwined her fingers with his. “This is between us. I’ll tell Danny and Miss Fitz when they’re here and they can get to know her, but never Jack. You have to promise me this.”
“And I beg your forgiveness,” he said.
“Why?”
“Because I was angry with you. I did think you had abandoned me. When Jack paid for my education, he told me it was what you wanted. And after that I forgave you. I prayed for you all the time. I prayed you would come back and we would be a family again.”
“And here I am. I’ve no doubt you are the reason Pierre came along when he did. He was such a lovely man and he took such good care of me and Lily. He was a saint, Charlie, an absolute saint. Now let’s eat. All this truth makes me hungry enough to eat a horse.”
After they ate, they had a few awkward moments before Imo set off to find bedding since he was sleeping on the front room couch. When she returned to the room, he sat with his head bowed, reading from the Bible.
“What are you reading?” she asked, sitting next to him.
“The thirty-first Psalm. ‘Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies’.”
“She might be out there somewhere. I’ve never met her.” She laughed a bit. “I am so proud of you, Charlie.” She touched her fingers to the book sheaves. “You are a credit to the Farrell name.”
“‘Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.’ Everything has worked out for the best, wouldn’t you say?”
“God’s will and all that. You know Him best. Just don’t let Him turn his back on us now.”
Imogene kissed Charlie on his cheek and then left him to his prayer. Having him under her roof made her believe the house walls would last a millennium and the roof another one hundred years beyond that.
When Imo crawled into bed, Lily was curled into a ball into the middle. Imo pulled Lily close and pressed a kiss to her head. All of the hunger-filled days and the cold nights were worth the satisfaction of holding her child and knowing she would be able to provide.
* * * * *