by Mimi Barbour
Being included—if only by proximity—opened up her eyes to the possibilities for her own future. That is, until she glanced towards the window and saw the face she hated most staring at them through the glass.
She stiffened. Her hand clenched into a tight fist.Both Tyler and Dominic saw it happen. They looked to where her eyes were glued and saw the leering face. She started to rise, but stopped when Tyler pushed her firmly back down.
“Keep her here.” He rose and glanced directly to Annie. The manner in which he spoke left no room for argument. Lea saw him eyeball Dominic, who somehow picked up the vibe instantly.
“I’m your back-up, my man.” Dominic stood and joined Tyler. Adrenalin switched their attitude from calm and relaxed to edgy and purposeful. They sauntered easy-like towards the entrance. Annie watched as both men looked almost happy, knowing there would be a confrontation.
How had Doug known where to find Lea? Would the poor girl ever be able to get away from that animal? Lea shook so badly that Annie hoped she wouldn’t be sick. She reached out to comfort her and was shocked to see Lea’s face devoid of color, haunted and sadder than ever.
* * *
Doug and two other lowlifes were lounging on the dark wet street, waiting for the door to open, obviously expecting Lea to appear. One streetlight covered the corner and another lit the edge of the wide sidewalk, but the light didn’t cover the front of the restaurant. Only the discreet neon from Dominic’s lighting and the faint glow from the windows brightened the area they’d chosen for the encounter. Night rats tend to keep to the shadows—so did these vermin.
Doug, a tall, skinny, but muscular guy stepped forward as soon as he saw Tyler, only to run into Dominic, who’d moved in between. The two men had intuitively recognized the street savvy of the youths and automatically both had switched into the gang-style attitude of menacing bravado.
“What kind of shit-show is this? Whaddaya want, hanging around outside my place?”
“I’ve come for my girl. Promised I’d take her home—don’t like for her to wander the streets alone at night. It’s not safe! If…ya know what I mean.” Doug’s voice threatened and his attitude sucked.
“Especially when you’re carrying, eh! Know what I mean?” Dominic threw his words right back at him and used the same menacing tone. “My waitress called the police the minute she saw me heading this way. Should be here any time now.”
Sirens could be heard in the distance. With each passing moment they got louder.
“Hey, dude, we’re outta here,” one voice piped up from behind Doug. “Don’t wanna mess with no cops.” The second sidekick spoke also, echoing the warning tone. “Not tonight, man.” Both shadowy figures looked ready to bolt.
Doug turned towards the window, obviously pulled, but the wailing cars were getting closer and the hissing from his buddies decided him. He pushed Dominic out of his path, made a rude gesture to Tyler with his middle finger and then faded into the darkness.
Tyler watched the retreat, a cocky grin on his face. “Hey, Dom, that was pretty cool. I didn’t even see you signal the waitress.”
“That’s ‘cause I didn’t. I just heard the sirens and decided to, like, use them. No sense getting into trouble if you don’t have to. Right?”
“You are so right. I’m pleased at how you handled things tonight, my friend.”
“Thanks, man. You saying that means a lot.” He opened the door for Tyler and waved him into the lighted room where the patrons continued to enjoy their evening, not a care in their world. Except for the young girl sitting at a corner table, whose trembling hands covered her shamed face.
Chapter Fourteen
Later that evening, Tyler followed the girls to Annie’s apartment and stopped Annie at the doorway, waiting until Lea disappeared inside.
“You’re exhausted, sweetheart. Look, if you need your bed, I can stay up and talk to Lea.”
“You are a sweet man! But I’ll be fine. She won’t say the things to you that she will to me. Girl stuff! You know?”
“What a crock! But unfortunately true. It’s just that you’re beat and not on the top of your game right now.”
“I’m good. Don’t be an old fuddy-duddy. We’ll have a chat and I’ll get her to stay with me for the night. Hopefully she’ll hang around for the next few days, to give you time to set something up for her. I’ll talk her into it, anyway.”
Tyler’s hands reached out to grip both sides of Annie’s face. His thumbs rubbed gently at the bags under her eyelids and moved to stroke the tired lines surrounding her abnormally dull eyes. He leaned ever so slowly towards her.
She waited, not breathing. Her last coherent thought was hoping her eyes weren’t crossed.
It seemed to take him forever until his lips were angled—inches above hers.
Motionless, she held on. Her eyelids dropped as if weighted. The word “please” screamed through her mind. The familiarity of her using that particularly phrase—to him—seeped into her memory.
His soft lips kissed her forehead. Then she felt him back up slightly.
She still waited without moving. Her eyes shut tight.
Seconds passed and a sigh escaped. His lips hovered, tantalizing. His warm breath tickled the hairs on her face, escalating her awareness.
The touch of his mouth connecting with hers ignited the passion and their lips ate at each other, draining, sucking the essence from both sides. Tyler stopped first.
“Good Lord!” burst from her hungry lips along with whimpering sounds. The weight of her lashes kept her eyes shut. The heaviness seemed impossible to lift. She didn’t even want to. If she had her choice, she’d stay cuddled in his arms, kissing him forever.
She felt him slowly retreat, his thumbs teasingly soothing her still-closed eyelids. He whispered, “Good Lord? You mean goodnight, don’t you? Try to get some sleep. I’ll call you tomorrow. We need to talk.”
He left, using the stairs. By the time she’d recovered, the faint smell of his cologne and the erratic beating of her heart were all that remained. Breathing deeply, she ran her hands through her hair and then scrubbed at her cheeks. She’d love to have time to re-live all the special moments she’d shared with Tyler tonight. But it wasn’t to be.
When she stepped into her place, she saw Lea pacing the floor, her arms crossed, hands each rubbing up and down the opposite side.
“Are you cold, Lea? Do you need an extra sweater or a blanket? How about some tea or coffee?” She stopped her chattering after she saw the expression on Lea’s face. She curled up in her favorite corner of the sofa and patted the seat next to her.
Lea shook her head and continued to stride up and down the room, making Annie dizzy. Her nerves were already shredded from exhaustion and strange intuitions due to Tyler’s kiss kept trying to get her attention. Something about it…?
She finally broke down and demanded, “Lea, please! Sit! I can’t talk to you while you’re moving around. It’s wearing me down. Tell me. What are you going to do?” Annie rested with her elbow on the arm of the sofa, her head propped up by her hand.
“I can’t sit, Annie.” It was obvious that nervous tension forced the youngster to keep moving. To be still clearly would be more than she could handle. One of Annie’s business cards, picked up from the counter, flapped back and forth between her busy fingers.
Annie purposely stared at the girl’s fidgeting until she quit and slipped the card into her pocket. “You need to talk, Lea. You need to, very much. Relax and explain. I’ll listen.”
As if Lea was a faucet flipped up high, words gushed out. She told Annie about the beatings, about the fear and about the others who used her. She talked with details that had Annie’s eyes popping open and horror filling her heart.
“My Lord, Lea. How could you stay with him? You’re too beautiful, too precious to put up with his criminal manipulation. It’s totally unnecessary when you have Ty and me who care for you and now you also have Dominic. You told us about your dreams, remembe
r? About school and an interesting career. Maybe one day—a husband and a couple of kids? We want that to happen for you.” Tears ran untouched down Annie’s face. Lea reached over and passed her a tissue.
“I know that, Annie. Inside I know it. My heart remembers those dreams, but my drugged brain forgets.”
Annie spoke forcefully. “No more drugs. Then you can’t forget. Look, your future family needs a mom who cares about herself, a strong mom, one who won’t always feel shame for having been a weakling and letting some scumbag treat her worse than an animal. Do you get me? Your memories of these…these last few months can all be squashed into a small place in your mind, dealt with and left there. The many potentially great years ahead of you are what count, Lea. Don’t give them up. I promise that’s the best truth anyone can ever tell you.” Annie’s sincere eloquence echoed in the quiet.
“It feels wonderful to hear you saying these things, Annie.” Lea wrapped her arms over the top of her head, and she groaned. “I’ve tried telling myself, but somehow I lose my backbone when Doug is around. He overpowers me. I become weak and scared and—and so pitifully frightened it makes me sick. I watch him play me and can see how he gets such a kick out of it. God, Annie, I’d like to hurt him, physically, which makes me terrified that I’m as warped as he is.”
As Lea talked on, Annie fought to keep her lashes up and her senses alert, to listen to what Lea said, to stay awake.
Lea continued venting as she paced from one end of the room to the other, traveling deep inside her mind, wanting to express exactly how she felt.
“You’ve made me see it all so clearly, but I’ve got to figure out how I can get away from Doug for good. He seems to latch on to everything I do, and everywhere I go, like tonight. He had me followed—otherwise how did he know where I was? He could make such a lot of trouble for Dominic’s place. And for you and Tyler. You don’t know him like I do. What he’s capable of. I’m worried, Annie. I’m serious. I couldn’t stand it if the people I cared about got hurt because of my problems. Sometimes, I wonder if it wouldn’t be best all around if I wasn’t even here.”
Lea turned to her friend, because an opening like that would normally have gotten a strong reaction. Annie didn’t argue or give her attitude, because she didn’t hear her words. The battle had been lost. The exhausted woman’s head hung for a few seconds and then lolled back to nestle on the plush arm of the sofa. A small snuffling sound could be heard as she settled in, eyes tightly closed and face muscles relaxed.
* * *
Lea, sitting crossed-legged on the floor nearby, leaned on the coffee table with her hand supporting her cheek and watched her friend for some time. Finally, Annie’s pallor and the unconscious way she hugged herself, seeking warmth, niggled at Lea until it dawned on her what Annie required. She tiptoed to the closet and returned with a soft blanket to cover her friend. After that, she moved around the apartment, picking up and putting down items here and there, checking out each room, imagining it being her own place.
A sanctuary, where she’d be free.
A home, where she’d be the boss.
A safe place to cry without getting slapped or punched.
Annie’s bedroom enthralled her and placed first as her favorite spot in the cozy apartment. The various turquoise pillowslips, with their brown and gold designs, worked perfectly with the brown satin duvet cover. Touches of bluey-green appeared everywhere, from the satin valances to the crystal perfume decanters displayed on the tall dresser. Even Annie’s creamy fluffy housecoat and fuzzy slippers matched the décor. A room like this could be hers one day.
Lea plunked down on the bed, crossed-legged again, while her eyes were drawn towards the vision clearly shown in the glass of the balcony window. She saw herself and she hated the image that stared back.
What a loser!
The ugly phrase darted across her mind. It had been lying burrowed deep inside for as long as she could remember. Always the same one! She was a black polar bear, an imperfection of nature, ugly. Tears rolled down her face unchecked. That there were any left surprised her. She’d never cried so much as she had earlier. A lesson instilled, as a very small child, had trained her to bite her lip and shut her mouth. Tears weren’t tolerated.
She was so tired that it left her feeling pathetically weak. But then she’d always been pathetic and weak. Life itself put her in the role, and she’d acted the part to perfection. It became easy to let others rule her. First her mother and then Doug. She’d let them. Rolled over in front of them like a defeated dog showing its tummy. Then whiningly gave them control.
But no more!
Annie had recently changed everything around her, taking on a completely different career, venturing out of her comfort zone with a new lifestyle. Lea had watched her tonight—had seen her new aura of confidence. If her hero chose to do something about her life, then so could Lea.
Memories flooded of earlier, in the washroom, when Annie had taken Lea’s face into her hands and had smiled lovingly into her eyes. “You’re so very young. You haunt me, Sweetie. Only you can become a person you’re proud of. No one else can make that happen. Change! Break loose! Grow up! There are spiritual forces out there who watch over us all. Not only will they guard you, I’ll be here to help and so will Ty. Ultimately, though, you know it’s up to you to decide when and how.”
Lea leaned back on the pillows and closed her eyes. She wondered what Annie meant by spiritual forces.
“You can do it!” The husky voice intruding sounded like a female with a bad throat.
“Whaa? Who’s there?”
“Annie calls me her guardian angel, but I like to think I’m everyone’s angel. Lea, you are everything you want to be. It’s as easy and difficult as that. If you want to be strong, you are. If it’s easier being weak, you know you can play that role also. It’s always been up to you.”
“Now I’m hearing voices.”
“Just telling you the way it is.”
The words went with her into dreamland and echoed over and over. An hour later, she came to with a start, still in turmoil. She wanted to relax, but her thought processes were in full throttle. Plans gushed into her mind and revolved like Macy’s wooden doors off 34th Street. Another face, one that she’d met tonight, invaded her conscience. Dominic. He’d managed it, came off the streets and made good. Keep that in mind. Others had succeeded.
She finally got up, deciding it was time to leave. She hovered in the living room for a moment, stopped and then looked back at Annie. Thoughts reverberated in her head faster than she could digest them.
I want to be strong and to make you proud of me one day. You and Tyler are the only people who’ve ever truly cared if I lived or died. You treat me with respect, which I don’t deserve, but I will…
…Even if it kills me.
Chapter Fifteen
Lea skulked from the lit façade of Annie’s building and was soon swallowed by the night. A sense that she was being followed, a feeling she lived with constantly, swept over her as she glanced in all four directions. The wind tore at her, so she shrugged the hood part of her sweatshirt over to cover her features and slunk down, making her body look two sizes smaller.
Wild ideas attacked and jostled inside her mind. They rode her unmercifully. More sleep for her was out of the question. Her life was about to twist in a new direction, and she had a lot of preparations to do. First, she needed to get back to the crappy apartment she shared with Doug and get her belongings. The stash of money she’d hidden, taped to the underside of her T-shirt and sock drawer—pray God it was still there—promised to be a lifesaver, her best chance at getting away. Next, she’d need to set a false trail for Doug to follow so she’d have enough time to disappear.
Tremors exploded inside her. She knuckled her eyes, her hands coming away wet. Squeamish fear ignited the rioting voices screaming warnings. They jangled her nerves until she felt her bile rise. Just once she wished she could spend a day without being afraid. Was it even
possible?
Take Annie! For the last few months Annie’s way of life had seemed so perfect, Lea’s ultimate goal. But for the first time tonight, she’d caught a glimpse of strain and hardship in her friend’s world. Apparently Annie’s early life hadn’t all been a bed of roses, either. Her old tomboy style and lack of feminine artifice were probably results of something that had happened in her past where she’d lost confidence. Tonight, for the first time, she’d looked like a modern, sophisticated woman.
She knew her hero used to love her old job. Now, for some strange reason, she’d switched to a new career, working way harder, with much longer hours. The proof was written on her haggard face, in her bleary eyes. Lea had almost flipped out when Annie first arrived in Tyler’s apartment. She hadn’t seen her in weeks, and the radical changes had rattled her, making her aware that if she’d step out of her “Me World” once in a while, she’d see that others’ lives held difficulties also.
At the beginning of the evening, Annie’s attitude and demeanor appeared normal, proven by her gentle hugs and caring attentiveness. But for a few moments in the restaurant, Lea had witnessed her pal fighting her own personal demons. She’d watched as expressions of pain, revulsion and profound sadness battled with each other on the face of her favorite person. Somehow she’d always thought that Annie’s existence was privileged and simple. That she had the world by the tail. Obviously—not so!
And what about Tyler? Anyone with half a brain could see that Annie and Tyler had the hots for each other, but it just simmered away under their surface friendliness. The intense yearning she’d spied on Annie’s face periodically twisted her insides. And Tyler? His gaze rested more on Annie than anywhere else during the whole time they spent in the restaurant. Perhaps they stayed apart for reasons unknown to her.
Her conscience squawked. What? You think you’re the only one who’s got troubles, who’s ever had it tough? That everyone but you was born lucky? Grow up, girl! Life throws curves at every single one of us, and as Tyler says, it’s how we catch the ball and throw it back that counts.