by James Ross
“He drank twelve beers on the front nine?” J Dub inquired remarkably.
Justin nodded. “He’s got some great stories too.”
“Like what?”
“He’s been telling us about the days when he started to learn how to fly.”
J Dub took one of the coolers and placed some more beer in it. “He hasn’t been talking about other things, has he?” J Dub didn’t want Captain Jer to start bragging to the boys about his female conquests.
“No, he’s just been talking about the Coast Guard and how they caught the druggies,” Justin admitted.
“That’s good. Here.” He finished packing the cooler and handed it to Justin. “Are you staying up with the group in front of you?”
“As far as I can tell,” Justin said.
“You tell him that the head pro only gave him six more beers. Twelve would be way too many,” J Dub remarked.
“Okay,” Justin said as he grabbed the cooler and headed back out to join the group.
“Here are the totals for the front nine,” Pork Chop rattled off. “Dr. DV had a thirty-nine, Curt had a forty, Captain Jer struggled a little with a fifty-four, and I had a thirty-six.” Pork Chop turned the scorecard over. “Now for the money, Curt is down a dollar, Dr. DV is down fifty cents, I’m up a quarter and Captain Jer is the leader. He’s up a buck and a quarter.” Pork Chop looked back down at the scorecard. He took his pencil and double checked the math. Then he scratched his head. “How the hell can that happen?”
“Isn’t golf the greatest game?” Curt said turning to Dr. DV. “You can count the good shots that Captain Jer made on the front nine on one finger and he wins all the money.”
“I guess that’s what keeps everyone coming back,” Dr. DV agreed. “We’re grinding our butts off and he’s probably having the most fun.”
Justin placed the cooler in the basket of Captain Jer’s cart. Pork Chop had been driving and Jer was getting to the point where he almost needed a seat belt to keep from rolling out of the cart. “Where’s the other cooler?” Captain Jer asked.
“J Dub said that six more was enough for you. You’re cut off,” Justin informed him.
“Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,” Captain Jer laughed. “Cut off at the golf course. That’s a first.”
“What else did you do with the Coast Guard?” Keith asked relentlessly.
“Can I hit my shot before we start in with all of that Coast Guard stuff?” Captain Jer yelled as he reached into his bag for his driver. The alcohol was starting to cause a mood swing or two. He staggered to the tee box and promptly put the tee in the ground. When he bent over at the waist he lost his balance and swayed to the right. As he righted himself he nearly fell over. Captain Jer then placed the club behind the ball and stood over the shot for what seemed like eternity. When he hit the ball it only dribbled a few feet off of the tee box.
“What the heck took you so long to hit it?” Pork Chop yelled. “Did you see three balls down there and you were trying to figure out which one to hit?”
Captain Jer’s head had bobbled down to the point where his chin was resting on his chest again. He closed his eyes and shook his head up and down. “It must be this hot weather that’s making me feel funny today,” he said as he stumbled back to the cart and plopped into the seat.
“What else are you going to tell us about the Coast Guard?” Justin asked.
“I’ll tell you boys a couple other stories and then we’ll have to take a break for a while,” Captain Jer said. The boys nodded. “When we were patrolling over the Gulf of Mexico, the drug runners knew that we couldn’t get air clearance to fly over Cuba. They would head straight for that country because they knew that they could lose us. That caused us to put planes on both side of the island.”
“They were that smart?” Keith asked.
“They didn’t want to get caught,” Captain Jer admitted. “And another thing they would do is fly real low over the water so that our radar wouldn’t pick them up. We finally had to put radar balloons up to get better coverage.”
The boys were confused. “Huh?” they asked in unison.
“When you’re on the surface of the earth, radar will only extend for twenty-seven miles or so because of the curvature of the earth. We’d put radar balloons up high in the sky so that we could detect more. That’s probably the best way to explain it to you,” Captain Jer detailed. “It’s starting to get me confused too. But you boys know what I mean.”
“Do you have any other neat stories?” Keith prodded.
“Just fishing stories about other countries sending their boats into our territory to catch the different types of seafood,” Captain Jer was getting tired. The beer had reduced his ability to annunciate and to stay focused. “And then there was the period of time when I worked for Air Force One and the other time when I always had to go to the White House to meet with the Vice-President.”
“Come on Jerry!” Pork Chop shouted. “Enough is enough. Pretty soon these kids are going to believe everything that comes out of your mouth.”
Captain Jer shrugged his shoulders. He really didn’t care what all of the others thought. Maybe he was full of it; maybe not. It was hard to tell. He turned toward the boys and gave them a wink. “That’s enough stories for now. I better buckle down and play some golf before Pork Chop really gets mad.”
The foursome advanced to the twelfth tee and Captain Jer could hardly stand up, let alone play golf. The irrigation lake ran up the left of the fairway. The group was getting to the point of the round where the water would come into play on several of the shots. As they stood on the twelfth tee box and peered out to the landing area, Curt turned to Captain Jer and said, “I don’t know how you did it Captain Jer, but thanks are in order.” Jerry had dropped a birdie putt on the eleventh green from about eighty feet while he and Curt were partners.
“You know what they say about those blind squirrels,” Captain Jer mumbled.
Several hundred geese had assembled on the banks of the lake so Curt thought that it might be appropriate to ask Dr. DV a question. “Those geese have really gotten to be a problem,” he commented to Dr. DV. “Do you know of any secrets on how we can get rid of them?”
Dr. DV smiled. “You don’t know?”
“We haven’t been here in a while so there hasn’t been a reason to look into it,” Curt explained. “All I know is that the goose crap is getting everywhere.”
“It’s a simple problem to fix,” Dr. DV continued. “Go get a couple clay owls. The geese are scared to death of them.”
“You’re kidding me,” Curt exclaimed. “It’s something easy like that?”
Dr. DV nodded his head and smiled. “Those owls won’t even move and the geese are petrified of them.”
“You learn something every day,” Curt admitted. He turned to his playing partner. “Okay, Captain Jer. Lead us off the tee. This is our last hole together,” Curt said. “You’re my hero after that last birdie.”
“That might be my last bit of good luck this month,” Captain Jer countered. After teeing the ball up, he proceeded to dribble it off the tee. “See. I’m next to worthless.” He paused as he headed for the cart. “But I won’t throw a club.” Instead he popped the tab on another beer.
Pork Chop, Curt and Dr. DV all hit their drives out to the landing area. It took Captain Jer another shot to get there. The play had slowed down and once again the foursome had to wait on the group that was playing in front of them. All of them had gotten out of the carts and were either stepping off their yardages or making small talk. Captain Jer sauntered over to the side of the lake to look for his ball. When he found it he took his club and gave it a nudge so that it would sit up a little higher for him to hit.
“Hey, what are you doing?” Curt yelled as he saw Captain Jer bump the ball. “You know we play them down around here.”
“I was only moving it away from some of this goose shit,” Captain Jer said as he defended himself. “It’s all over the place.”
“Then play by the rules and take a drop,” Curt shouted.
Captain Jer bent over to pick up his ball and in the blink of an eye he came running up from the water with his knees as high as his waist. A couple of geese were chasing him and he couldn’t seem to move as fast as them. They were honking and hissing while Captain Jer was hardly moving. He was swinging his club and hitting nothing but hot air. “Get them away from me! Help! Call them off!” he yelled as he high-stepped through the poop.
“What did you do Captain Jer?” Pork Chop shouted.
“I think I got too close to some little ones.”
“Pork Chop was laughing hysterically. “They won’t hurt you. What’s wrong with you?”
“I don’t care. Get them away from me!” Captain Jer yelled as he headed for the golf cart.
The boys as well as Curt and Dr. DV were all laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation. Captain Jer approached the cart running at full speed and didn’t get his foot up high enough to make it onto the floorboard. He stumbled onto the floor of the golf cart and in doing so struck his head. Part of his body came to rest on the accelerator pedal and the cart lurched forward erratically. While Captain Jer lay stunned on the floor of the golf cart, the vehicle made a straight path for the lake. Nobody in the group was in a position to stop the golf cart. In a matter of seconds the cart traveled down the bank and plunged into the water.
Curt was the first to arrive at the water. He waded in and reached Captain Jer just as he was going under. Despite being weakened by the side effects of chemo Curt was able to pull Captain Jer out of the cart and hand him to Dr. DV who pulled him onto the bank. Captain Jer was out cold. Between the beer and the knock on the head he had no idea what had transpired.
As the golf cart started to go underwater Pork Chop yelled, “Get my clubs! Quick, Curt! Grab my clubs!” Curt went into the water waist deep and unhooked Pork Chop’s bag as quickly as he could. He threw the bag onto the bank. It was too late to save the other bag and Captain Jer’s clubs went down with the cart.
Curt got out of the water. He was caked in mud from the knees down. His golf shoes ruined, his health shaky and in limbo. He threw himself onto the bank and hyperventilated until his breath came back. It had all happened in a flash.
Captain Jer started to stir on the bank. Justin grabbed a towel out of the other cart and brought it over for Curt to wipe himself off. “Are you okay?” he asked.
“I’m fine. It’s amazing how your adrenalin kicks in when you need to react that fast,” Curt remarked as he gasped for air.
“I guess it’s safe to say that Captain Jer reached the finish line,” Justin said intuitively.
Curt looked up to Justin and said with resolve, “At least he did for today.”
CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR
Tina picked Justin and Keith up from the golf course later in the afternoon. She had been running errands all day and was anxious to get home. In her haste she pulled into the parking lot and simply honked her horn for the two teenagers. The only people that really noticed were two guys that were practicing on the putting green. They were mildly upset that she broke the tranquility. It seemed like everyone else on the golf course property was inside soaking up the air conditioning and trying to figure out a way to beat the sweltering heat.
Someone in the clubhouse must have looked out the window to see Tina’s SUV. A moment later Justin and Keith sprinted through the door and across the lot to the awaiting car. “How did things go today?” Tina asked the minute the doors closed behind them. Justin immediately adjusted the blower so that the air conditioning was blowing directly on him.
“Don’t hog it all,” Keith demanded. “I want some too.”
“You’ve got a blower in the back. Just open it up,” Justin countered.
Tina started laughing at the boys as they tried to cool down. “Did Curt work you too hard in this heat today?”
“No,” Justin answered. He wasn’t ready to talk about the events of the day.
“You didn’t stay inside in the clubhouse all day, did you?” Tina continued.
“No.”
“Do you want to tell me how your day at work went?”
“Not right now. Maybe later,” Justin said.
That’s odd. The boys always tell me what they do at work, Tina thought. I’ll let it go for now and try to find out what happened later. I hope that someone else didn’t die. “That’s fine. Have it your way,” she relented. The boys were more interested in staying cool and finding good songs on the radio during the trip home. Tina dropped Keith off and then she pursued the line of questioning with Justin. “Why don’t you want to tell me what went on at the course today?”
“We went through a lot today, Mom,” Justin said shying away from the conversation.
“Nobody else died, did they?”
Justin was acting aloof and disinterested. “No . . . almost though,” he hinted.
“You know how this ticks me off when you get like this, Justin.” Tina scolded as she pulled into their driveway. “You always tell me everything. You’ve been like that with me ever since you could talk.” The two of them entered the house and headed for the kitchen.
“It’s been a long day for me, Mom,” Justin began. “We were sad, and then had fun, then things got serious, and it’s hot out.”
“What happened?” Tina approached him and gave him a hug. He had piqued her curiosity when he intimated that someone had almost died. I hope it wasn’t Curt.
“We got there at sunrise for Rollie’s service. J Dub talked for a real short time, but it was sad. Keith and I planted a tree,” Justin said.
Dave walked into the kitchen and headed for the refrigerator. He grabbed a can of beer. “This sure will taste good on a hot day like today. What’s for dinner?”
“I’m going to put a few burgers on the grill,” Tina offered. She had grabbed a package of ground beef and was pressing some rolled up balls into patties. “Justin was telling me about his day.”
“Curt was quiet all day, Mom. I don’t think that he’s feeling too well,” Justin continued.
“I’m so tired of hearing about Curt this and Curt that. What’s wrong with the family that we have right here?” Dave took a healthy swig of beer. “Ahhhh, that tastes good.”
Justin took a look at Dave and instantly thought about Captain Jer downing one beer after another on the golf course. Dave’s beer drinking and smart remarks rubbed Justin the wrong way. “That’s exactly why I don’t want to talk about things, Mom.” He got up from the kitchen table and went into the den to switch on the television.
“Dave, quit it. Quit being so hard on him,” Tina admonished her husband.
“I’m tired of hearing about Curt and the golf course and all of those worthless guys that hang around the place,” Dave whined as he took another drink.
“That’s his life this summer and I appreciate all the things that Curt is doing for him,” Tina stressed.
“Yeah, I hear you and it’s not right. It’s as if I’m not doing a damn thing to help him grow up,” Dave argued.
“There are different things in different people that he’s getting exposed to. He’s seeing a slice of life that we can’t show him,” Tina said as she headed out to the deck to put the hamburgers on.
Dave went to the refrigerator and grabbed another beer. He followed her out to the deck. “So what are you getting at?” Dave asked in a confrontational tone. “You don’t think that I’m a good role model for your son? He is yours, you know, and not ours.”
“I didn’t say that!” Tina shouted back. “It’s just that he’s being exposed to different things right now and he is free to pick and choose what works for him. Every time you belittle him he’s going to back away from you.”
“He’s got it too good around here.”
“What’s wrong?” Tina said. “Are you afraid that he might like somebody better than you?”
“No! But I know damn good and well that I can be a better inf
luence on him than those bums that hang out around the golf course,” Dave fired back.
Tina had known Curt for a long time. At times she had her doubts about what Dave just claimed. She raised her eyebrows and looked at Dave. She continued to the door and after cracking it open yelled, “Justin, come out here and help me with these burgers!”
Reluctantly, Justin reported to the deck. He wasn’t too keen on getting into a situation that put him close to Dave. Most of the time when that happened he got his butt chewed. “What do you need, Mom?”
“You can watch these, can’t you?” Tina asked as she handed a spatula to him.
“I think so. Curt and J Dub let Keith and I cook for a scramble one day. They set the barbecue pit up and we flipped hot dogs and hamburgers for the golfers when they came around at the turn,” Justin explained. “That’s where we learned that those guys will eat anything. They weren’t too picky on how it was cooked.” Justin’s confidence returned with his new responsibility.
“Just make sure the meat is done, Honey,” Tina reminded him. “How’s Curt feeling?”
“He played golf today for the first time since his surgery,” Justin started. “But he was quiet all day long. He said that he was fine, but I could tell that his energy was down a little.”
“Did you help him any?” She still wanted to learn about their day and find out about who almost died.
“Sort of,” Justin opened up, “Keith and I caddied for them. That’s how Curt wants us to learn the game . . . by walking around with them as they’re playing.”
“What did you learn today?” Tina asked.
“Actually Keith and I learned about how neat it would be to fly airplanes,” Justin continued. “If I can’t be a professional golfer, then maybe I’ll be a pilot when I grow up.”
“For Pete’s sake, Tina,” Dave muttered as he got up and went into the kitchen for another beer.
“What’s he so bent out of shape about this evening?” Justin turned and asked his mom.
“He’s been a pain for several weeks now,” Tina said as she tried to cover for her husband. “I think his job has him stressed out. Or maybe he’s jealous of Curt.”