by James Ross
J Dub let out a sigh. “That’s an understatement.” He thought that it was funny that he called Doc by his real name. Everett Rhymes was a distant name from the past. Everyone knew him around the place as simply Doc.
“We’ll go out today and try to kill two birds with one stone.”
“Birds. They are feathered, winged, egg-laying animals. About ten thousand species populate the world. They inhabit…”
“Pabby. That’s enough.” J Dub placed his hand on the teen’s head and looked back at DeWitt. “He’s our resident expert on animals. He can tell you everything possible on every species in the world.” J Dub shook his hand on top of Pabby’s head and smiled. “By the way DeWitt, this is Pabby.”
“Are you my buddy?” Pabby asked and smiled hopefully.
The elder man extended his hand. “You bet I am.” They shook. “And after our little hunting trip we’ll be better friends.”
The guys headed to the vehicles. “You guys get in with me. T-Berry has the dogs. He can follow.” DeWitt and J Dub climbed in the driver’s side. Pabby and Doc walked around to the passenger side.
The second Doc opened the rear door for Pabby the teen screamed. “No! No! No!” Four falcons sat on a perch behind the back seat. Each wore hoods.
“They won’t hurt you,” DeWitt said. The birds were tethered, a cord held them on their carpeted stand.
“No. I’m not going in there.” The men looked at each other.
“How about if I get in the back seat and you ride up front?” Doc proposed.
Pabby took a second to think and then agreed. “That’s better.” He remained apprehensive. “They won’t fly toward me?”
“Not at all. They are tied down and won’t leave their spot,” DeWitt explained. With that minor detail worked out Pabby climbed into the front seat. He nervously kept looking over his shoulder toward the birds as DeWitt started the car.
“Where are we going?” J Dub asked from the back seat.
“We’ll go down to a couple of farm fields on the bottom. We can flush some ducks out of the drainage ditches between the river and the bluffs.”
“Ducks are aquatic birds that…”
“Pabby! That’s fine. We know what they are.” J Dub’s eyes met DeWitt’s in the rear view mirror. He gestured with his hands as the SUV made its descent off the bluff.
The group didn’t travel for more than fifteen minutes. DeWitt stopped once along the way after noticing a coyote in a field. He stopped, went to the back of the vehicle and got out a high powered rifle with scope. Seconds later a blast sent the coyote spinning around in circles ultimately it fell into the snow. “I can’t stand those bastards.” He returned to his spot behind the wheel.
“You sound like Doc when he talks about s-q-u-i-r-r-e-l-s. He hates those pests.” The guys chuckled. J Dub put a finger to his lips to silence Pabby. “How did you two meet?”
“DeWitt is a client. I’ve fixed some wings and a beak here and there. Now he has to take them down I-44 to the bird sanctuary in Valley Park,” Doc said. “We’ve remained friends over the years.”
“Do you golf?”
“Nah. Too time consuming. I hunt and fish.”
“A fish is a gill-bearing aquatic vertebrate that lacks limbs and digits.” Pabby looked nervously toward the falcons.
“Come on, Pabby. We don’t feel like getting a cram course in every animal known to man.”
DeWitt pulled down a gravel road, put the vehicle in four-wheel drive and headed for an old oak tree that stood alone in a field. A light snow spit from the sky. The extra traction kicked in and the SUV traveled easily down the road. “We’ve had some luck here in the past.” He parked near a drainage ditch. Before getting out he cautioned everyone. “Now it’s important that we stay quiet. We’ll have to communicate with our hands.” He looked in his rear view mirror. “T-Berry has the dogs. You guys can follow and watch the falcons in action.” He handed over two pairs of binoculars.
“What are you going to do?”
“We take one falcon out at a time. I’ll get on one side of the creek and T-Berry will be on the other side with Rickles and MoMo.”
“Rickles and MoMo? Who’s that?”
DeWitt laughed. “The dogs.” He put his finger to his lips. “When we get out make sure you close the doors slowly and quietly. You can walk behind me. When we see the prey I’ll let Otto go.”
“Otto? Who is that?”
“My falcon. I’m letting him go first. He’s hungry. The other idiot bird I’ve got, Vilhelm, is too dumb to kill. I think he just goes up for the flight along the bluff half the time. You never know what mood the other two are in.”
“I’m lost,” J Dub said.
“I regulate their food, or I should say T-Berry does. We know the optimum weight at which they perform best. Look at them.” The guys looked at the birds. The falcons were lifting their claws off the perch. “They know what’s coming up.”
“How can you tell?”
“I put their hoods on. They can’t see a thing and they are docile. We’ve done this routine so many times that they know when the car stops they are going to get a chance to fly.”
“How high will they go?”
“You’ll see. Maybe six or seven hundred feet. They’ll take off and make a wide circle as they climb. It’s beautiful to watch. Then T-Berry and I will flush the creek. The prey takes off. Otto, he’s my best, will see them leave. He’ll make a dive that’s gorgeous to see.” DeWitt put his arms down to his side. “He’ll look like a mummy coming down.”
“How fast?”
“Hard to say. They can reach speeds up to two hundred miles an hour. I doubt if mine go quite that fast.”
“Then what?’
DeWitt clapped his hands. “Pow! Hopefully it will be a direct hit. After impact Otto will circle and return to give the duck the coup de grace.” He shrugged. “A bite to the neck seals their fate.” DeWitt zipped his coat. “Ready?”
“I guess. I hope we don’t screw things up for you.”
“You won’t. Just be quiet and communicate with sign language. It will be over in ten minutes if we can spot some prey.” The guys got out of the SUV, quietly closed the doors and walked to the rear of the vehicle. DeWitt popped the latch and reached in to get Otto off his perch. He had on a thick leather glove. The talons of the falcon were razor sharp. DeWitt raised his arm to shoulder height, the bird sitting patiently. With his free hand he raised his finger to his lips and headed for the creek.
T-Berry couldn’t find a crossing and had to stay on the same side of the creek. He was two hundred yards ahead. The dogs romped playfully. They had been on this excursion before and knew to remain silent. DeWitt waved for J Dub, Doc and Pabby to follow. The guys walked at least a quarter of a mile in snow up to their ankles.
Ahead of the pack T-Berry was crouched down trying to get a glimpse of the creek. He noticed three ducks swimming in the water and waved his arms. That was the signal. DeWitt twisted his head to the side of the bird, unfastened the braces holding the hood in place with his teeth and took the hood off the falcon. Otto’s head jerked. His eyes adjusted to the daylight. The retired lawyer raised his arm and the falcon took off. Otto made a wide circle as he climbed. The guys had a tough time following him in the snowy conditions. Ninety seconds elapsed. DeWitt signaled T-Berry. The caretaker ran to the water. The ducks flew away.
DeWitt pointed to a dot in the sky. “There he is! Watch!” Otto looked like a flying mummy, streamlined, coming straight toward the prey. There was a violent collision. A duck fell to the ground, knocked out. Quickly, Otto swung around and nailed another. “A double!” DeWitt yelled. “That only happens once every other year.”
Rickles and MoMo sprinted after the prey. DeWitt ran to the duck that Otto had begun to feast on. By the time the retired lawyer had arrived feathers were blowing in the wind. Otto savagely tore into the duck. With a vicious jerk fresh meat was torn away from the neck. The falcon hardly swallowed.
&n
bsp; “Did you starve it to death?” J Dub asked after arriving on the scene. He watched as the falcon dug its talons into the bird and went ferociously down for more.
“I monitor their weight daily. I’ll let him celebrate his success.” Pabby was in awe. Life in the wild was truly a life or death adventure. He watched as DeWitt got Otto away from the duck. He then put on a plastic glove, reached under the duck’s underbelly and ripped it apart. He fed the falcon the heart, liver and other remains. “I don’t want him to get too fat. He’ll lose speed or won’t fly when I want him too.”
“That’s an incredible experience. I had no idea. Thanks for letting us come along,” J Dub said, still amazed by what he had witnessed. “Did you like that Pabby?”
“I’m scared.” He kept his body behind the adults. “We can go.”
“We’re here right now so let’s watch some more.”
“I doubt if the other flights will be that productive, but I have three more that want to fly,” De Witt said. The guys understood. Pabby would have to wait it out. They walked back to the SUV and repeated the adventure three more times driving around to other ditches. All told the guys were out almost three hours before DeWitt headed the vehicle toward the golf course. It took Pabby thirty seconds to fall asleep after the car heater kicked in.
CHAPTER 64
The forced air blowing through the vents felt good. Even though the guys were bundled up, three hours in the wintry weather had taken its toll. Exposed flesh felt frostbitten, fingertips were numb and wet boots caused soaked socks and cold feet. It felt great to be back inside.
J Dub looked at Pabby and snickered. “That didn’t take long.”
DeWitt seized the moment. “Everett tells me you’re having some legal issues.”
“If I never see another lawyer again my life might be complete.”
“From the little he has told me you don’t stand a chance.”
“We’re simply trying to pay our bills and do things the right way. Some guy flips a cart and we’re drawn into a lawsuit. We can’t get any straight answers, everything seems to be continued or postponed and our insurance guy can’t help. They’ve been sued too and are fighting for their own interests. Every ruling we get from the judge seems to be against us.”
“They’re good at wearing you down.”
“You can say that again. We’re ticked off at our lawyer too. You should see his invoices. We get billed for every little phone call. The fancy name calls that a client conference. But if he wants to mix it up so that it doesn’t seem to be too repetitive he’ll rename it a telephone conference.”
“That’s one of the first things a lawyer learns how to do. Creative writing.”
“Then he’ll have a courthouse conference and a luncheon meeting and a multi-line conference call.” J Dub put his hands to his face and rubbed his eyes. “Curt and I love the opposing lawyer conference calls that are itemized. Each of those run about three hundred bucks.”
“They do that to wear you out and make you feel like settling.”
“The talks with the insurance adjustor cost money. But those ceased when the insurance company stopped talking to us. There was a conference with the judge. Nothing was produced at that one except a charge to us. The settlement conference charges were a joke because none has been proposed. We have to pay for the pre-trial conference call.”
“And there will be post-trial conference charges as well if it goes that far.”
“And that’s not to mention the fees for the clerks and the paralegals and the copying of documents and…”
“Oh yeah. I’m familiar with all of it.” DeWitt kept his eyes on the road. The narrow, two-lane country road didn’t have a shoulder. One eye off the road could put the SUV in a ditch. He heard as well as listened. There’s a big difference. But years of professional experience had taught him the dissimilarity. “You’ve got outside forces working against you.”
“I’m beginning to think the same way.” J Dub glanced at Doc. “But what?”
“It’s the way they do business down here.”
“How is it any different here than in other places?”
“FOBS.”
“Huh?”
“F-O-B-S?”
“What’s that?”
“A secret society.”
“So how can I fix this mess I’m in?”
“You can’t. They control the outcome.”
“That’s a fine thing to find out.” The sarcasm did not go unnoticed.
“Better to find out now than never know what’s working against you.”
“Is there anything we can do?” J Dub spread his hands in frustration. “Curt’s been trying to figure out lots of different angles and we’re not so sure how hard our attorney is working for us.”
“Realize what you have that is going against you. Once that gets put in clear focus you’ll have a better idea how to cope with the situation.” DeWitt reached into his coat pocket, grabbed a pipe and knocked the old ashes out in the ashtray. With one hand on the wheel he retrieved a pouch of tobacco, placed it between his legs and scooped the pipe into the dried leaves packing it tightly. He glanced at J Dub in the rear view mirror then placed the pipe into his mouth.
“Care to tell me about FOBS?”
DeWitt reached for a lighter and lit the tobacco. The distinct smell invaded the interior. He cracked his window for ventilation. “In time. But sometimes it is better for you to not know things.”
“When is that?” J Dub answered his own question. “It’s better not to know anything while we’re getting our butts kicked in court?”
DeWitt held the pipe basin with his free hand and inhaled with sophistication. He slowly exhaled. J Dub couldn’t wait for the smell to be sucked out the window. “No, I didn’t mean about that. Sometimes it’s better not to know why your opposition is doing the things that they’re doing.”
“Why not? It is pretty clear to me that they want the golf course.”
“Maybe I should have said how your opposition is getting the decisions that they are getting.”
“So what are you getting at?”
“They’re connected.”
J Dub shook his head with reluctance. “That figures. Just my luck.”
“You need to know.”
“Thanks.”
“You need to know who is behind the decisions that you are getting.”
“FOBS, right?” DeWitt nodded his head subtly. He looked again in the rear view mirror. “But you won’t tell me anything else.”
The SUV made its climb from the river bottom up the incline toward the golf course. “When the time is right. You do your homework now.”
J Dub glanced at Doc. “You knew all along that we were against something that was out of our control.”
“Not really. I don’t run in those circles,” the vet replied. The SUV pulled to a stop in front of the clubhouse. All three men exchanged glances.
CHAPTER 65
Sleet pelted the window. The sound of the frozen pellets was a constant reminder that winter had shut down the golf season. Darkness arrived a little before five each afternoon. But it was somewhere between nine and ten. Traffic on the streets was non-existent. The Christmas season had arrived and the kids were counting down the days for Santa’s arrival. In the world of business the office parties took center stage. Candy, cookies, buffets and a drink at every stop put pounds on the waistline. Maybe there was something to that sunlight deficiency theory.
barrydebohn: are you online?
kittypurrs4u: just for a minute
barrydebohn: partying hard?
kittypurrs4u: no. I feel fat
barrydebohn: easy to get that way w the Xmas parties
kittypurrs4u: that’s not me
barrydebohn: I don’t understand
kittypurrs4u: my period is coming
barrydebohn: oh, sorry
kittypurrs4u: no ur not. U don’t know what its like
barrydebohn: well no but
kittypurrs4u: don’t give me that sorry stuff when ur not
barrydebohn: happy holidays to u too
barrydebohn: can we start over?
kittypurrs4u: I’m going to go
barrydebohn: hold on. Any plans for Xmas?
kittypurrs4u: was going to CA but Stud has to work
kittypurrs4u: I was going to drive him on my bike
barrydebohn: in this weather?
kittypurrs4u: I just got it put back together
kittypurrs4u: we were going to go south thru Texas
barrydebohn: biz has slowed down. Was hoping we could meet
kittypurrs4u: soon
kittypurrs4u: maybe in the spring
barrydebohn: spring! I was thinking in a week or two
kittypurrs4u: I’ve got some dates lined up
barrydebohn: and I’m not one of them I see
barrydebohn: hey you’ve got to finish ur story
kittypurrs4u: which one?
barrydebohn: u just came out of the closet
kittypurrs4u: I’m not gay
barrydebohn: no Stud fought off the butcher knife
barrydebohn: u came out and his wife hugged u
kittypurrs4u: oh
kittypurrs4u: she wanted a 3some
barrydebohn: nothing u say surprises me
kittypurrs4u: but Stud was tired and the kids were crying
barrydebohn: what do the 2 of u see in him?
kittypurrs4u: he protects me and he’s dad to her kids
barrydebohn: there must be more than that
kittypurrs4u: there was but now he’s always too tired
barrydebohn: too tired?
kittypurrs4u: for sex
kittypurrs4u: I need it 3 times a day
kittypurrs4u: he needs it twice a week
barrydebohn: sounds like trouble in river city
kittypurrs4u: that’s why he lets me date
barrydebohn: then squeeze me in
kittypurrs4u: we will when I don’t feel so fat
kittypurrs4u: I’m going to go
barrydebohn: we just started
kittypurrs4u: bye
kittypurrs4u has signed out
“Damn.”