by James Ross
“Do you want us to take the fundraiser somewhere else?”
J Dub shook his head back and forth. “You’re welcome here. I just think that I should get something in exchange for several ticky-tacky tickets that I’ve received lately.”
O’Callahan shrugged. “You know how it is. Tax revenue is down. Our budgets are strained. State and county aid has been cut back.” He took the stogie out of his mouth, reached to his tongue and grabbed a piece of moist tobacco. After rubbing it between his index finger and thumb he grabbed a napkin and made a deposit. “I’m sure my boys explained our revenue enhancement program to you.”
“And that door swings both ways. If we bang you a little extra per man to come and play, will that cause a problem?”
O’Callahan grabbed the stogie with his right hand. “I was hoping that we could get a better price this year.”
“We’ll lose money if we don’t pass along an increase.”
“A few of the other courses are bending over backwards to get our business.”
J Dub knew the competition. There wasn’t a course within fifteen miles that offered the layout and conditions that Prairie Winds had. “If you think that your event will be as successful at another course, then that’s always a consideration.”
“The guys love it here. This is their first choice,” the chief backpedaled, “but we have to be cost conscious and make the numbers work.”
“Tit for tat?”
O’Callahan wouldn’t budge. “I can’t compromise our revenue enhancement program. If I meddle with the tickets then my watchdogs will be all over my ass.”
J Dub gritted his teeth. “We’ll hold our price the same as last year. You’ve got the second Monday in September.” The pro made a notation on his calendar.
O’Callahan waffled. “I’ll get back to you.” He made a move to the door.
“I’ll hold it for a week. After that it will be first come, first serve.”
“You strike a hard bargain.”
“Not really. You’re always welcome. But it doesn’t do us any good to have you out and lose money. Sometimes it is better to pass.” J Dub stood firm. “Especially with the decisions coming out of your office.”
The chief of police wasn’t out the door five seconds when Julie put in her two cents. “What an ass.”
“Some of the crap that I’ve been exposed to by his officers is, well, let’s just say it wouldn’t disappoint me if they did go somewhere else. Who needs the hassle?”
The pair spent the rest of the day tidying up the clubhouse. Julie worked on the files in the office and gathered numbers for the accountant. J Dub vacuumed and applied a fresh coat of paint to the downstairs bathroom. After a few hours of grunt work they congregated by the register for a refreshment. “We’ll have this place ready for another golf season in a day or two.”
“We need it,” Julie said. Her bookkeeping brain had been on alert. “The checkbook is running dry.”
“We can thank the lawyers for putting a strain on it this winter. I’m sick of paying money out for nothing. They’re worse than Uncle Sam.” J Dub sighed. “With pending litigation I can’t even increase our line of credit on the place and get more operating capital.”
Julie yelled when the front door opened. “Oh, my God!” Opur looked at them and smiled. He was standing with the help of a cane. Months earlier he had gone down with a brain aneurysm.
By his side carrying a baby in a car seat was the former Morgan Langdon. They had gotten married. She had given birth. He was recovering. “Opur has been feeling better and had to come by to say hi.”
The foursome reminisced. There was a lot to catch up on. After the good natured tickling of the infant Julie stepped back and asked, “Where are you going looking like that?”
Morgan had her hair in pig tails. She wore a plaid skirt and white blouse. The knee socks and saddle shoes made her look like a cheerleader or better yet, a teenage school girl. Gone was the short light brown hair. It had been replaced by longer, more blonde hair. She reached into her purse and grabbed a pair of dark-rimmed glasses. “What do you think?”
“You look like you’ve been playing on a school playground.”
“Opur is taking me to work. We’re having a Mardi Gras party tonight.” At five foot six, the graduate from the University of Alabama at Tuscaloosa exuded sex appeal despite her juvenile attire.
“With that outfit the dirty old men will…”
“Don’t get ideas. I’m married with a child.” She smiled with admiration, reached up and brushed back Opur’s hair. After having his head shaved he had let it grow long once again. “It’s an office celebration. It’s nothing but work.”
“I babysit when she has to work nights.”
J Dub’s attention had been on the little boy in the car seat. He looked up and gave Morgan a wink.
CHAPTER 73
kittypurrs4u: are u there
barrydebohn: yeah
kittypurrs4u: where r u?
barrydebohn: on my way back
kittypurrs4u: from where
barrydebohn: I already told you
kittypurrs4u: no u didn’t
barrydebohn: yes I did
kittypurrs4u: fraid not
barrydebohn: Springfield
kittypurrs4u: Missouri?
barrydebohn: no. Illinois
kittypurrs4u: what were u doing there
barrydebohn: business
kittypurrs4u: yeah right
kittypurrs4u: u probably went there for a girl
barrydebohn: no I didn’t. come on
The mile markers clicked off as he waited for a reply. Flat fields awaiting spring planting added to the monotony.
barrydebohn: kitty?
barrydebohn: you there?
He was ready to text another message when he heard “Come on baby, light my fire.”
kittypurrs4u: yes
barrydebohn: thought you were mad
kittypurrs4u: no
barrydebohn: we’re still on aren’t we?
kittypurrs4u: there’s been a change in plans
barrydebohn: No. No. No
kittypurrs4u: yeah. we have to do things differently
barrydebohn: we can’t meet tonight?
kittypurrs4u: no. we can
kittypurrs4u: you just can’t come to the room
barrydebohn: that won’t work. We have to meet somewhere
kittypurrs4u: no silly. we’ll do that
kittypurrs4u: u just can’t come here
barrydebohn: you lost me
kittypurrs4u: u need a room key to get up the elevator
barrydebohn: oh. Whew
kittypurrs4u: you’ll have to meet Stud downstairs
barrydebohn: gotcha. That works
barrydebohn: where?
kittypurrs4u: there’s a sports bar downstairs
kittypurrs4u: it’s called boxcars. Two sixes on dice
barrydebohn: I know it
kittypurrs4u: good. Stud will be there watching ABW
barrydebohn: ABW?
kittypurrs4u: yeah
barrydebohn: what’s that?
kittypurrs4u: u don’t know?
barrydebohn: I have no idea
kittypurrs4u: America’s best wrestling
barrydebohn: I should have known
kittypurrs4u: its his favorite show
barrydebohn: he should be easy to find
barrydebohn: I’m sure he’ll be the only one watching
kittypurrs4u: oh no. tonight’s the championship
kittypurrs4u: Felix the Fairy wrestles the Brahma
barrydebohn: how did I not mark my calendar
kittypurrs4u: don’t know. but u should have
kittypurrs4u: he’ll want u to pay extra for the pay for view in the room
barrydebohn: that’s fine
barrydebohn: how will I find him?
kittypurrs4u: he’s real big. Muscles. Flat top
barrydebohn: nobody else will loo
k like that I guess
kittypurrs4u: he’ll be wearing a t-shirt that says Biker Bash-Sturgis
kittypurrs4u: on the front it says Turkey Nuts B and B
barrydebohn: what the hell is that?
kittypurrs4u: a bed and breakfast we stayed in
barrydebohn: he should be easy to find
kittypurrs4u: be there at 8
barrydebohn: sure
barrydebohn: can’t wait to meet you
kittypurrs4u: me too
kittypurrs4u: we’ll have lots of fun
barrydebohn: I hope so. My friend is looking forward to it too
kittypurrs4u: Mmmmm. My fav. A MFM
kittypurrs4u: what u get for the premium price
barrydebohn: that will be a first for me
kittypurrs4u: get off it. Don’t BS me
barrydebohn: no. really
kittypurrs4u: yeah, right. ur all the same. bye
barrydebohn: kitty?
barrydebohn: kitty?
kittypurrs4u: I said bye
barrydebohn: we’re still on aren’t we?
kittypurrs4u: yes. Bye
The riverboat casinos were far from vessels on the waterways. The ploy from the gambling lobbyists was the same in every state. The presentation was polished. Promise entertainment in an innocent setting and come back a year or two after the grand opening to plead that the Corps of Engineers views the additional traffic on the river as dangerous.
First on the scene was the Aqua Mermaid. The “riverboat” was now a land based casino with a hotel tower that stretched to the clouds. The original idea was to capitalize on the burgeoning entertainment business that came in the form of gambling outside the confines of Las Vegas and Atlantic City. The intent was good. Other states jumped on the bandwagon. St. Louis needed that form of entertainment to attract convention traffic.
But the riverboat concept was quickly abandoned. Any property that adjoined the rivers around St. Louis was ripe for development. The Aqua Mermaid sprang up on the Illinois side of the Mississippi. Then the Show-Me state’s side of the river joined the fray. Other casinos were built on the Missouri river. Residents got hooked. Personal bankruptcies soared. Embezzling encroached into businesses. Thefts and robberies increased. All in the name of entertainment.
Another activity increased. With Vegas-style rooms and an atmosphere ripe for a different sort of prey, many working girls saw an opportunity to pay rent, fund their gambling habits, afford drug use or pick up extras for their kids. The world’s oldest profession thrived.
Tanner Atkins and Buchanon Porter wanted some fun. The cobblestone floor of the main corridor reminded patrons of the pavement of yesteryear. The pair walked past Pirate’s Plank, the in-house seafood restaurant. Italian entrees could be found at Concetta’s Cuisine. Popular in the Midwest was Tall John T’s Steakhouse, famous for its Nebraska corn-fed beef and one-pound Idaho potatoes. For the bottomless stomachs, Warren’s was popular with its all-you-can-eat buffet. Pork Chop and Fred were frequent visitors of this eatery.
Boxcars was the sports bar located at the end of restaurant row. It was one door past Spoonin’ which was the nightclub that stayed open until 6 a.m. Across the walkway Strummin’ housed the live entertainment. BowTye often performed on that stage. The acoustics could handle one-man guitar players, piano recitals or aged rock bands on the recycle tour.
Amid the big screen TVs Stud was simple to locate. At six foot five he dwarfed the two businessmen. With arms the thickness of railroad ties and a chest that seemed as broad as an automobile back seat the only question was how he managed to wear the Biker’s Bash t-shirt. Even the Triple XL looked like it had been in the dryer too long.
The group could have passed for the odd couple but it was a trio. Stud’s flat top conveyed a youthful look. But the steroids had rendered him impotent. Tanner’s wanna-be weave, loosened tie and dark suit suggested legal advice. Buchanon’s tussled gray hair made it look like grandpa was buying. Darn if he didn’t miss a belt loop. His dress shirt was not tucked in on one side. After cordial introductions the misfits were off to the elevator and the ride upward to Room 2456.
“Wait here while I make sure she’s ready,” Stud said as he slid the electronic card in the key slot. The johns stayed behind. They looked like fraternity brothers waiting for their turn on a sorority train as they stood mindlessly in the hallway.
“Are they here?” kittypurrs4u asked. The bathroom door was cracked. She was bent at the waist applying make-up. A glimpse of the schoolgirl outfit suggested a playful liaison.
“Yes,” Stud replied, “and eager.” He continued to the television area of the suite and fluffed two pillows on the couch. “How much time do you need?”
“Are they cool?”
“Everything seems fine.”
“Bring them in. I’ll be done in a minute.”
Stud cracked the door and peeked through a three-inch wide opening. “You can come in. She’ll be ready soon.”
Tanner and Buchanon grinned like high-school seniors sneaking into a motel on prom night. The lawyer stopped immediately and gazed at kittypurrs4u’s backside as he noticed the slight opening into the bathroom. Her eyes caught his in the mirror. “Finally, after all these months.”
“Did you tell them how it works?” kittypurrs4u yelled to Stud.
Stud followed queue. He instructed the men. “Here are the rules. I’m sure she has told you online. I’ve followed the conversations and okayed her choice to be with you. You pay for the room and services upfront. I take the cash. There is no clock. Stay as long as you like. We want a little extra so I can watch the wrestling match. I’ll stay here on the couch.” Stud reached down and adjusted the laptop that was on the coffee table.
“What’s that for?” Tanner asked.
“I’m hooked on Anacondas and Mynah birds. Have you ever played?”
“Huh?”
“He multi-tasks,” kittypurrs4u yelled from the bathroom. “Tell them it’s a video game, Hon.”
“It’s a video game.” Stud sat down and moved his thumb on the pad of the laptop. “The anacondas choke their prey and the victims make sounds as they die. But the mynah bird acts like a snake charmer.” Tanner and the judge looked at him as if they had missed a generation somewhere along the line. “I hope it doesn’t offend you if the dying animals squeal while you’re here.”
“No, no. That’s quite alright,” Tanner said. He was proud that the meeting had actually happened.
Stud flipped on the TV and searched for the wrestling channel. “Good. Load me with eight c-notes and an extra forty-five for the pay-per-view.”
“Eight hundred and forty five bucks?” Tanner protested.
“As good as she is I’ll double it if you gripe anymore.” Stud folded his arms across his chest. “You’re getting a discount because she wanted to do you.”
Tanner’s thoughts backtracked to the little glimpse he caught of his online friend through the door that was cracked open. He reached for his wallet.
“Let me help,” Buchanon said. He peeled off five hundred bucks and handed the bills to Stud. Tanner paid the difference.
“Okay, Hon. They’re paid up.” He puffed out his chest a little farther. In his opinion it took one helluva guy to pimp out his old lady.
Tanner’s did a double take after the bathroom door opened. Standing less than fifteen feet away was the girl of his dreams. She wore exactly what he wanted. A plaid skirt, white blouse, knee socks and saddle shoes. Two pig tails fell to her shoulders. The black-rimmed glasses made him melt. She held a glass of juice in her left hand. The straw invited a sip. “Hi, I’m Kitty.”
The bubbly reception was more than Tanner could imagine. “I never knew people met this way.”
“How else, silly?”
“You’re beautiful.”
“You should see her naked,” Stud yelled.
“We’ll have time for plenty of that,” Tanner replied.
“She’s got the cutest little but
t.” Stud thumped his chest. “Bend over and show him, Babe.”
Kitty placed her drink on the credenza, faced the door and bent at the waist flashing the guys standing by the bed.
Tanner licked his chops. The openness took him by surprise. “So this is the way you do it.” He loosened his tie. Thoughts of his wife and five teenagers were off the radar screen.
Buchanon kicked off his shoes. He dropped his pants and stood in blue and green boxer shorts.
“Get comfortable.” Kitty picked up her drink.
“What are you drinking?”
“A seabreeze.”
“What’s that?”
“Vodka, cranberry.” Kitty stuck the straw up her nose. Tanner watched in disbelief as the level of the juice went down an inch. “What the…”
“She’s got a fever blister,” Stud yelled.
Kitty inched closer and got two inches from Tanner’s face. “I woke up this morning and poof, there it was.” She pointed to a pea-sized mark on her lip. “We can work around it.”
Thoughts of his wife quickly popped into Tanner’s mind. His mood suddenly cooled. “How?”
Kitty flashed the healthy side of her mouth. “Whatever we do can be on this side.”
It was as if Tanner had been doused by a bucket of Rocky Mountain creek water. “Uh, no, I don’t think so.” He looked at her angelic face. “There are other things I guess we can do.”
Kitty brought her right hand up to her face and pushed her index finger into her cheek. Her inviting smile made him a soft touch. “I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”
“What did you think we were going to do?”
“Well I would, you know, I mean, I have before on the first date, but…”
“I thought that was a done deal.”
“Well it was this morning but when I…”
“But what?”
“When I woke up and took a pee I wheezed.”
“What do you mean you wheezed?”
“It hurt, and that’s when I discovered that…”
“Discovered what?”
“I have a UTI.”
“A what?” Buchanon interjected.
“A urinary tract infection.”
“Now you tell me.” Tanner was pissed.