I blink rapidly, hoping that my sight will return. I can feel the panic bubbling up on my face and through the ringing in my ears I hear Abigail growling ferociously at my side.
“Damn it!” I hear an enraged voice exclaim. His voice sounds far away, as if hearing him shout through a tunnel, although I realize subconsciously that I’m in Liam's arms.
My eyes wheel and for a split second, I get a little sliver of sight back. It’s completely fuzzy, but I can see Liam’s infuriated face above me and Abigail is in full hostile-attack mode. Her muzzle is brought back over her teeth, showing a long row of razor sharp fangs, letting low and menacing growls escape from deep within her throat while her ears lay pinned flat to her head. The fur on her back stands on edge and she looks ready to spring as soon as I give the word.
“What’s wrong?!” Elly shouts as she rounds the corner.
“No!” I gasp. If she knew what was happening, I won’t be able to travel to England and I know, especially now, that it has to be done. It seems Joseph’s effect on me is getting much stronger and I know in this insane moment, I need to be free of him.
“Breckin, focus on my voice,” Liam says firmly above me.
I’m still blinking furiously as I’ve lost my sight again and that alone is terrifying. I feel him confining my hands next to me as I still try to pull at the fabric at my chest. I faintly notice Elly’s hands, too, trying to examine me.
“Breckin! Listen to me! Stay with me, don’t let him win. Stay with me,” Liam repeats in my ear.
“Breckin, tell me what hurts.” Elly commands sternly. She’s in nurse mode now.
“I can’t… breathe.” I pant. “Get it… off me… it hurts…”
“What is on you?” Liam yells. “Is he touching you!? So help me God, I’ll find a way to -”
“I can’t see him, Liam! I can’t see… anything!” I scream. “All I can see is black!”
I’m panicking. I can’t help it. Losing my sight in spite of everything else is terrifying. The pain is excruciating, absolutely, but I’ve felt it before. Never to this degree, but at least I had somewhat expected it. My head feels like it’s going to explode from the inside out, and my chest has so much pressure on it that I’m sure Joseph must be finding a way to push down against me somehow – although that goes against everything I know about the spirit world; they can’t actually touch you. The sudden blindness though, is petrifying and I’m unable to keep the composure I usually muster up with Joseph present. Of course I can’t see him, but I know he’s here. And close.
“What the hell is she talking about,” Elly says to Liam. Her voice is muffled and distant. “See who?”
“You’re stronger than him. Fight, Breckin. Fight against it,” Liam is saying now.
“It hurts so much,” I whisper. “And my eyes…”
“Breckin, honey, please tell me what to do!” Elly’s voice is over me now. “What is she talking about?”
“Mom,” I whimper. “It’ll go away. It always… does.” I can’t get enough air. I’m gasping my responses and it sounds like I’m choking on water.
The next words out of Liam surprises me. “You need to leave, Joseph.” Low and threatening. He almost sounds as if he’s growling. “Now. Leave. Right. Now!”
Suddenly, amazingly, the pain somehow intensifies – the worst I’ve felt yet. I’m going to be pulled in two as my chest somehow raises into the air on its own accord and my arms and legs contort in a way that’s unnatural. Then my body goes limp in Liam’s arms. The intense pressure on my chest has gone and the pain crushing my skull has disappeared. I can’t open my eyes, I’m slightly incoherent and now completely exhausted. I realize I’m being carried swiftly from the floor and then I feel soft, fluffy goodness underneath me. The couch maybe? Instead of trying to open my eyes, I focus on the breath that now comes and goes with ease. I concentrate on the rising and falling of my chest and I count each intake of air my lungs eagerly suck in.
“Breckin,” Liam whispers anxiously. His accented voice is now clear as a bell.
“I’m okay,” I answer in a raspy voice.
“Someone tell me what that was all about!” Elly’s voice sounds very worried and I instantly feel bad.
After fifty-seven slow breaths, I open my eyes. Liam’s glorious face is just inches from mine and I sigh in relief to the sight of him. I can see in the way he holds himself that he’s trying to remain strong and sure for me. He wants to protect me. But even through the great self-assuredness he holds himself with, I can see past it as the terror and worry show raw behind his eyes. This makes the decision to go seem less impossible. Perhaps Sera isn't so insane after all. I struggle to sit up and Liam helps me. Elly comes to sit next to me and clasps one of my hands in hers.
“You’re okay now?” she asks with tears in her eyes.
I give a half-nod. I’m too tired to move much else.
“What was that?”
I look to Liam and then back to Elly’s anxious face. I don’t know what to tell her. Obviously she knows something happened and that that something was caused by someone being she’d heard Liam’s coaxing me before. What can I possibly tell her though? How am I to explain that I’d just been paralyzed and completely incapacitated by a vile and disgusting ghost? This is not something Elly would ever expect from my previous experiences with spirits. The only thing she knows is that I notice them walking around from time to time, but otherwise I pay no attention to any of them other than Sera.
“Breckin,” she says sternly.
Liam ducks his sweet face in front of mine and nods in encouragement. I see in his expression that he thinks it best I stick with the truth. I can’t possibly make up anything now that will pacify Elly anyway. So the truth probably will be best, even though it’s something I desperately want to keep from her. If I try to make up a lie, she’ll more than likely rush me off to the hospital anyway for some kind of medical explanation. I have to make the truth as vague as possible though.
“There’s been a ghost coming around sometimes,” I finally manage to murmur. “He’s different than any of the others that I’ve seen before. He’s the same one that caused me to go off the road that day when I was coming home from school. Do you remember that?”
“Yes. But what does this… ghost,” Elly has trouble saying the word still, “have to do with what just happened now?”
Liam sits on my other side now, as he had been kneeling in front of me, and clasps my free hand in both of his. I feel very reassured with him next to me and I find my voice to continue. I realize that this might hinder my chance to end it all and go to England, although that’s just not a possibility for me now. This must end.
“Mom, for some reason I don’t entirely understand, this man causes me to… um, he makes me…”
“He causes her to be completely blindsided with pain.” Liam interjects. “His name is Joseph and unfortunately he died very tragically.” I look to Liam with soft admiration. I’ve never heard him able to speak of Joseph with such a calmed demeanor before. “And for some reason whenever he’s around, it effects Breckin in the way you just saw now,” he continues. “Although this time was the worst yet I believe.”
I nod to show that he’s right.
Elly is speechless. I’ve never seen her so upset and this makes my decision of knowing what I have to do, what I will travel so far off to accomplish, that much more final. I can’t stand to see my mother so upset.
“You knew about this?” she asks Liam, slight hurt shadowing her eyes. Crap.
He allows one hard nod.
“Why did you keep this from me?” she asked, looking to me with her affronted stare.
“Because, I didn’t want you to worry. It’s not something that happens often, I mean he doesn’t come around a lot.”
“Is there a reason he’s coming to see you then?”
My face falls. Liam believes he’s the reason and I think for sure he’ll find what’s just happened an excuse to leave me again. No matte
r how many times he’s reassured me he’ll stay with me no matter what, I still can’t fight the shaky feeling that creeps up inside when I remember the way he broke my heart. My chest starts to ache with the thought. This is the first time he’s witnessed Joseph’s impact on me since that fateful day in my room so many months ago, and I’m terrified that witnessing it all over again will convince him to just stay away. But Liam squeezes my hand tightly and takes over the conversation.
“I am, Elly.”
My mother gapes at him then with shock and disbelief clearly masking her features. She furrows her eyebrows in confusion then, and opens her mouth to speak, but nothing comes out.
“No, Liam, I don’t believe that,” I murmur quietly.
He ignores me. “I lost someone in a car accident some time ago, and Joseph it turns out, is the man that caused that accident. And I’m not entirely sure why, but he seems to want to talk to me and I think he knows of Breckin’s abilities. What I’ve come to believe is that he knows the only way to communicate with me is through Breckin and her gift. And from what information I’ve acquired, spirits like Joseph are drawn to people like her.”
My expression turns to awe as I listen to Liam. I still can’t believe that he’s stayed so calm. But what information has he acquired that leads him to believe Joseph is drawn to me? What does he know that I don't?
“So, I guess I don’t understand why he’s able to do that.” Elly interjects, pulling me from my sideways thoughts. “And, Liam, why do you think this is your fault?”
Liam looks to me then. This is something he won’t know the answer to – the first question anyway. It’s my turn to offer information.
“Well, you see, Mom, Liam was in that accident also, so that makes him the only survivor. And for whatever reason, Sera seems to think that Joseph has kind of attached himself to Liam, because he’s been trying to tell him something. We just don’t know what. Joseph isn’t in Heaven from what we can tell. He’s still trapped here and he doesn’t know he’s dead. Sera also thinks that’s why he’s able to, um, cause me… such pain. The pain I feel seems to mimic the injuries he suffered in the accident, because from what I’ve been able to see, Joseph has injuries here and here,” I say, pointing to my forehead and chest. I intentionally ignore her question to Liam about this being his fault.
“Your little ability seems to have taken quite the interesting turn,” Elly notes wryly.
“You could say that,” I offer.
Elly turns to Liam, then to me, and back to Liam again. She’s clearly not impressed by this bit of information, but what else can she do? Just as I told Liam a long time ago, it isn’t like anyone can protect me from a ghost. I glance over to the clock and see that if Liam and I are going to make it to the airport in time for our flight, we’ll need to leave in five minutes.
“Mom, we have to go,” I say quietly. “I have to get the rest of my things packed.”
“But what if -” she starts.
“Mom, it wouldn’t make a difference whether I’m here or there. A ghost can show up as they please, so it’s not like I can run from it.”
“No, what I was going to say was. Please don’t take this the wrong way, Liam, but what if he is the only reason for this Joseph character coming around? Are you sure it’s such a good idea you two be with each other? I mean, until we're sure he goes away, maybe you two should just keep your distance.”
My eyes widen in horror. I cannot believe what she’s suggesting and I am just plain appalled to hear her say that. She had witnessed first-hand how miserable I’d been for months, and she knows– well as much as I let her know – how much Liam means to me. He’s everything and I’m everything to him.
I attempt to remain calm even though her words have begun the echo of the burn in my chest. The remnants of lava begin to bubble as I imagine for one split-second what that will do to me. I normally am not the dramatic type, but I know that I’ll die if I were ever without Liam again. It isn’t a choice to be with him, it’s a necessity. I need him like I need air and a heartbeat. Liam is responsible for my survival.
“Mom,” I murmur with a choked voice. I’ve dug my nails into Liam’s hand from tightening my already unyielding grip on him. “I can’t be without him.”
“With all due respect, Elly,” Liam says in a tone like silk. “I’m sure in my decision to be with your daughter. I love her more than my own life and that means I’m here to stay. I’d like it very much if you allowed her to accompany me to my home so that she may meet my family.” Liam shows no sign of uncertainty. His face is smooth and composed and I wonder how he does that. I realize then, that I will never be able to duplicate the self-assurance he has.
“I know that I made the biggest mistake of my life leaving her and I’d like to apologize to you for that. I will never forgive myself for what I've done, but I’d like to ask for your forgiveness as well as Breckin’s. I’m sorry for what I’ve done to her, and in part, to you as well.” Liam’s eyes are extremely sincere and he’s put the full force of his stare on my mother.
I see Elly’s frame of mind changing as her face becomes soft. “Oh, Liam, that’s not necessary. But, thank you. Of course she can go along with you.” Her voice has turned almost giddy. “It's wonderful that your family was so generous in giving Breckin a ticket. And it's a very nice opportunity for her to travel somewhere she otherwise would probably have never been able to see.”
“Thank you, Elly.”
“Er... we have to hurry if we’re going to make it on time.” I say then.
“I already have your bag ready, so that’s done. I made sure to pack your wallet and your passport is in there. Good thing we took that vacation last summer, otherwise you probably wouldn’t have had one. Hmm, make sure to grab some gum or something to chew on the plane, honey. You know how your ears get. Oh, and the Dramamine is in there, too.”
“Thanks, Mom. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” I smile.
Liam follows me to my room and smirks as I shut the top to my oversized suitcase and begin to zip it up. I contemplate on sitting on top of it to make it shut and then silently wonder if people actually really do that. My suitcase is so full, I can actually understand where they might.
“What?” I ask then. He still hasn't wiped that knowing smirk off his face.
“Nothing,” he shrugs.
I eye him suspiciously, but we don’t have time for any type of interrogation for him right now. It’ll have to wait. Liam takes my bag to the car while I say goodbye to Elly. It isn’t as tearful as I thought it would be. The only time she became emotional was when she’d told me to be careful and make sure that I promise to call every chance I’m able, especially when we arrive. I throw on my coat quickly along with a scarf. I make sure I have gloves in my pocket and I put on my favorite knit hat. Elly kisses my cheek and gives me a huge hug while Liam jots down the number for his mother for her to call. I reassure Abigail that I’m fine and allow her to give me a very sloppy wet kiss on my face. When I walk out to the car, Liam walks around and opens my door. It makes me feel giddy – boys now-a-days don’t do that. It’s nice and warm inside the vehicle and smells just like him. I suck in the sweet, clean sent of Liam and close my eyes for just a second to enjoy it. When I open them, I notice a small box sitting on the dash in front of my seat. The box has been wrapped in shiny silver paper along with gold, red, and green ribbons. Liam climbs in and I pretend not to notice the pretty package sitting in front of me.
“Ready?” he asks as he shifts the car into reverse.
“Yep.”
Liam backs out of the drive and starts us toward the highway. We’re headed to Detroit and that’s a little over two hours away. So I remove my coat and winter garb, tossing it all into the backseat and settle in for the lengthy drive. Once Liam has finished shifting through gears, he reaches over for my hand and kisses it.
“So how long is the flight?” I wonder aloud.
“Well, we’ll be flying into London, and that�
�s just shy of eight hours if all goes as planned. And then we have another drive ahead of us. Only an hour or so, depending on traffic. With the time difference, we’ll be getting there mid-afternoon, so traffic might be a bit heavy.”
“Oh, okay.”
“You can sleep if you like. We’re going to have a long night and day of traveling ahead of us I’m afraid.”
“I don’t want to sleep. I’d rather talk to you. I've missed you.”
Liam smiles his breathtaking smile and allows his eyes to fall on the neatly wrapped box just long enough that it forces me to look at it. But I act as if I don’t see it and let my eyes go to the windshield instead, following the bluish-white band of light shining the dark path ahead of us.
“Aren’t you curious what that is?” he asks in a playful tone.
“What, what is?”
Liam laughs. “Right, like I’m going to fall for that. It’s sitting right in front of you.”
I shrug indifferently.
“Would you like to open it?” he asks in the same mischievous tone.
“Oh, it’s for me?” I ask sweetly.
He laughs again and it’s so good to hear. I’ve missed him so much that everything he does, I soak in with delighted pleasure. I stare at his face the most so that I can reconnect it to my memory – not that I'd forgotten – just that memories can turn fuzzy and this gives me a perfect excuse to stare at him. Although his features are only being lit up by the odd color coming from the car dash, I marvel at his flawlessness. His smooth features are just as glorious as I’d remembered and when I take in the sight of his lips smiling in anticipation to my answer, my breath catches.
“You can wait if you’d like to. I just thought maybe you’d like it now,” he says in an off-hand tone.
“Would you like me to open it now?”
“Not unless you want to.”
Hollow Sight Page 46