“What?”
“And when I got the director position, I became her boss and that is why she is in Houston since my management team has to travel to these things too.”
“How many times has she traveled to Houston with you?”
“Three.”
“Three times. You've gone to Houston with your ex-girlfriend for a week at a time, on THREE OCCASIONS!” I yelled, “And you never thought to say something to me.”
“I did. God, I wanted to tell you but at first I wanted to avoid an argument. Then things became strained with us, so I didn't want to add to it. Now, things were going so well that I didn't want to screw it up.”
“I don't know what to say, Alex.” He didn't say anything but I heard him let out a long breath of frustration into the phone.
“This was a big thing to keep from me and it hurts. I just don't know what to believe.”
“Believe? I'm telling the truth. There is nothing going on between Erica and me. She is strictly my employee. Nothing more. Last night she was helping me with the presentation, and that's all. I swear it.”
“I just feel that if you can lie to my face about something like this then what else have you been lying about.”
“Let's not get into lying.” He snapped.
“Hold on.” I gasped. “We are not bringing up the past. We've talked about that, and you have forgiven me which means you don't get to throw it in my face as if we are comparing apples to apples.” There was silence on the other end.
“You're right.” He said after several moments, “I'm just angry at myself for causing this.”
“You withheld something big from me for three years, Alex! I let you make me feel like the lowest person on the planet for what happened between us. I begged and begged you to forgive me. I beat myself up every day for a year. You ignored me. You talked to me like shit. You divorced me! All the while, you saw your ex-girlfriend every damn day and traveled places with her. You went miles and miles away together and not once did you say anything to me about it.” Anger was rushing out of me in waves. “ I cannot fucking believe you.”
“Shit.” Alex mumbled from the other end of the phone. “I...I fucked up.”
“What do you expect me to say?”
“I...I don't know.” He was quiet for a moment before he continued speaking. “Just don't do anything. Okay? Let's talk this out. Alright?”
“I should have known things were going too well. I knew it wasn't possible to be this happy again.”
“Wait! What the hell do you mean?”
“Maybe all of it wasn't possible. All of this just shouldn't be.” I rambled to myself as my mind tried to retreat.
“No. Courtney, this does not end us. Do you hear me? I'm not letting you go. I will never let you go.”
“Alex. I just can't talk about this right now. I need to think.”
“There is nothing to think about. We talk, we get over it, and we move on. There is no other option here.”
“I'm going to go.”
“Courtney, don't. Baby, I love you so much.”
“Going to go. Bye.”
“Court--”
I hit the end call button on my phone and let it fall into my lap. My mind was reeling at everything I just learned. Three years is a long time to keep something like that from me, and while his explanation made sense in a way, I still couldn't help the doubt that was creeping in. Funny how I was worried about the things he was doing while on travel when I should have also paid more attention to what was happening while he was home.
I rested my head back on the car headrest and let my mind zone out as I tried to sort my thoughts. I needed to figure out what I was going to do next. I didn't want to resort to my usual coping mechanism of irrational decision making but at the same time I didn't want to be gullible either. I just needed to think.
Chapter ElevenAlex
“Alex, how’d it turn out with those reports? We’re scheduled to go in front of Deal at 2:30pm this afternoon. Are we ready?” Mitch Gallo asked from behind me as I sat at a small table in the coffee bar.
We? Mitch didn't do a damn thing.
I was still pissed after my conversation with Court, mostly at myself. Erica also knew to stay the hell away from me. Now this asshole strolls in ready to pounce on something I stayed up all night working on when all I wanted to do was get home to my wife.
“I got it all sorted.” I replied in a clipped tone because I knew I couldn't risk saying more. I did need my job after all. My mind was going crazy with the scenarios that could be running through Court's head. I knew all too well the extremes she can go to when she is angry and hurt. I needed to get home.
I realized that Mitch was talking, but I hadn't heard a word that he said. “...last minute. Just email the entire report to me so I can take a sharp eye to it before the meeting.”
“Sure thing, Mitch.” I paused before continuing. “Listen, I hate to do this but a situation has come up and I need to fly back home. Tonight, if possible.” Mitch's eyes grew wide.
“Alex, is someone hurt or ill. Are they in the hospital?”
“No, it's just--”
“Dead, then? Has someone died?”
“Oh no, nothing like that.”
“Has your house been made uninhabitable by a natural disaster such as fire, flood or hurricane?”
“No, no. It's a..uh... personal issue.”
“Then, sorry. No can do. I need you here.” With that Mitch turned and strode out of the cafe as he called over his shoulder. “Email that report to me.”
Prick.
I knew it was a long shot, but I wanted to make an attempt. I tried Courtney again but got her voice mail instantly. I did the only thing I could do. I sent her a text.
Me: I love you. Don't shut me out. Talk to me.
I looked at the time and saw that it was only noon. I decided to go to my room and take a nap before the presentation. I was physically and mentally exhausted. Besides I felt sleep was the only way to get the situation with Court out of my head, if only for a little while. But my brain didn't want to rest and before long my thoughts took me back to the worst day of my life.
****
I stood there unable to move as I caught sight of the two of them, walking hand in hand. It was dark, but I knew it was her. I could always feel her presence. My blood boiled as I watched them leisurely stroll down the sidewalk as if they didn't have a care in the world. This morning I got a text message from my bank saying that my card was used to purchase a room at a hotel in Talbot Beach. I thought it was fraudulent. I immediately called the bank to report it but while waiting on hold, I decided to give the hotel a call to see if the person actually used my name to book the room. A flustered teenage boy answered the phone and confirmed that the reservation had been made for Courtney Turner. I was not prepared for the wave of panic that spread through me. I knew somehow Justin was involved. I’d learned from Cole that there was a growing friendship between Courtney and his newest contractor. While I didn't like it, she had never given me a reason not to trust her. But I felt deep in my gut that something was wrong for a while, and now I had proof. I hurried to the airport without much explanation to the site manager. I didn't give a shit about anything else, but getting to my wife. I was lucky enough to get to the airport in time to catch the next flight home. I got my car from the parking garage and drove like a madman to Talbot Beach. I must have called her five times on the drive up. The pimply faced teenager was still working the front desk and it was easy to get a key and the room number. He clearly didn't know that he wasn't supposed to be giving me this information, but he also didn't seem to care, so I took full advantage.
I rushed to the room and immediately opened the door. I searched, but she wasn't there. Her clothes were thrown across the bed, and I felt a small amount of comfort in the fact that I only saw her things. I sat on the bed deciding to wait for her but then it occurred to me that she could be in another room at this hotel. Maybe even his roo
m. I wanted to rage. To destroy everything around me but I took a deep breath and worked hard to control myself. I left the hotel room and wandered around the building at first to see if there were any curtains open that I might be able to find her. Then I looked around to see if maybe I could figure out what car that sorry fucker drove. I found Court's Acura in the parking lot, and it made me nauseous to know that she was actually doing this. Deflated, I walked around Talbot Beach for a while. Wandering aimlessly and trying to find her yet hoping I didn't. I wasn't sure what I would see. Then out of nowhere, I felt her. I looked up to see her across the street leaving a place called the Moonlight Lounge. I started to call out to her but stopped when I saw him walk up behind her and wrap his arm around her waist. My wife's waist. I couldn't contain the fury I felt and was about to bolt across the street when suddenly the calm streets became busy with cars. After a failed attempt, I knew I couldn't get across without the risk of getting hit. By the time I made it to the other side of the street they were gone, so I jogged in the direction they went. I arrived at the hotel just in time to see him pull her by the hand into the room. My heart sank as I watched her walk inside with him and the door closing behind her. My feet were moving, but my mind was unaware of where we were headed. When I stopped in front of the door, I wanted to use the key I had but I couldn't move. There I stood a foot away from the door and too scared to open it. My wife, my love, my everything was on the other side betraying me. My legs gave out as I sank down to the ground, and there I sat until the door opened. When his face appeared, I saw red. The next thing I knew I had him pinned to the ground and was slamming my fist into his face. I heard Courtney screaming, but the anger was so strong that I couldn't stop myself, and I didn’t want to. The worthless son of a bitch was throwing blows of his own, but I couldn't feel them. I knew he was making contact with my face, but I felt numb to the pain. I was a mass of rage. Finally, I pushed him away from me only to come face to face with the woman who just ripped my heart out. Tears were pouring out of her eyes and down her cheeks. Her mouth started to move, and I couldn't take it. I didn't want to hear anything from her. She had chosen him over me. She did it the minute she booked that room. There was no coming back from that. I ran down the stairs and knew she was following me, so I ran faster. I don't even remember the drive home, but I will always remember the way my chest hurt, it ached so much that it felt bruised. Like a ten ton elephant had been stomping on it. Everything I thought I had with my wife was a lie.
****
My eyes opened to the chiming of the alarm I set for my phone. I hadn't expected to fall asleep. While I wasn't feeling any more relaxed than when I first laid down, the memory of that night did give me a little more perspective on what Court must be feeling. I know that nothing was happening between Erica and me, but she doesn't know that. How is what I did any worse than the situation with her and fuckwad? It was still betrayal.
A large part of me worried about her reaching out to Will or someone for comfort but I also knew that we were better than that. I had to trust her not to do anything rash. Just as I needed time to work things out in my head, I would give her the same space.
It definitely would not be a year but at least until the end of the week.
I meant what I said. I'm never letting her go. Ever.
Chapter TwelveCourtney
I have to admit that it was harder than I thought it would be to not 'Hulk out'. When I woke up this morning I had expected my head to be clearer and my thoughts more rational, but instead I was still pissed. In fact, the more I thought about the deception and how long it had been going on the more I wanted to act out. To call him and scream at him. To throw all if his clothes onto the front lawn. To toss out that old ratty Yankees t-shirt he loved so much. So instead, I finished the rest of the Game of Thrones episodes we’d been saving on the DVR to watch together. I also deleted each one after I was done.
Yes, I am actually that petty.
Of course, I felt like shit about it later. I also didn't tell Dee about the incident either because I didn't want to involve everyone in our drama. If I was honest with myself, I knew this was not a relationship ending situation. Yes, it hurt but it doesn't change anything. I believed his explanation. If this would have come to light prior to our divorce, I am not so sure I would have reacted the same way. I feel like we are stronger now and that we have truly chosen to be together. I don't like the situation he is involved in with Erica. Not one bit. But I get it.
It was Thursday, two days after our argument. He has called and sent texts to check on me, but I've ignored him. I let him talk to the girls every day, but I didn't speak to him. For now, I'm not sure what I would say. I wasn't ready to forgive him, but I didn't want to risk saying anything that would make things worse.
I also found out today that I’m pregnant.
I had stopped taking the pill two months ago on the day we remarried. I had expected to get pregnant immediately because it was quite easy with Liv and Jordyn. Except I didn't conceive the first month even with as much sex as we were having. I was slightly worried that maybe my age was starting to become a factor. So I timed my ovulation this past month just to make sure.
Last night I dreamt that I was sitting with my three children on the large porch swing at Alex's parents’ house in Virginia. Liv and Jordyn were on either side of me kicking their feet while a baby with dark curly hair and chunky thighs was sitting on my lap. When I woke this morning, I used the second pregnancy test from the two-pack I brought last month. I was overjoyed to see that it was positive, and I wanted to call Alex immediately but then I remembered everything from the past couple of days and stopped myself. I wanted to get past this. I needed to get past this, but I was being stubborn. When I was leaving the bathroom, my phone chimed from the bedside table. It was a text from Alex.
Alex: Morning baby. I love you. Please forgive me.
I loved him with my whole heart and knew I would always forgive him. That's when I made a decision to stop being so damned passive and to go after my man. I dialed my sister.
“Hello?” Macy answered the phone.
“Hi, Mace. I need to ask you a favor.” I replied.
“Sure, bring them over.” She said sarcastically and cut straight to the chase. “You are so lucky that I’m at stay home mom otherwise you wouldn't be able to do shit.”
“Thanks. You are a life saver. Love you.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
****
Alex
I was counting down the hours to the last meeting of the day. It was Friday afternoon, and I had just endured the longest week of my life. The charity event was tonight, and I only planned to show my face long enough for Deal to see me. Then I would ghost out of there and book the next flight home.
“Alex,” Mitch called from behind me as I was leaving the conference room. I winced and gritted my teeth before turning around. I expected to see his usually arrogant business demeanor but instead I saw something much more human. “I just wanted to say that you've done an excellent job this week. I know you weren't supposed to come to Houston, and I appreciate the way you stepped up. You saved my ass.”
It made me angry the way he made it seem like I had a choice. If I let myself think about it, Court would have never found out about Erica the way she did if I hadn't been here. Instead of voicing all of that I simply shrugged and nodded at the compliment. I expected that to be the end of the conversation but Mitch kept talking.
“I suspect that your reason for wanting to leave earlier in the week had to do with your wife and Erica.” I furrowed my brow at him and wondered how he would know that. “Oh, well that's according to office gossip. I hear all that stuff, too. I know what's being said about Pamela and me. It's all false. I maybe a lot of things that I've overheard people call me. A prick. Clueless and lazy. But I love my wife.” Mitch laughed awkwardly and looked down at his feet. “I don't know why I’m telling you this. I guess I just wanted to tell someone.”
“Look Mit
ch, I--” I started to speak, but Mitch continued.
“I've made a lot of sacrifices to get here but time with my family is the one that has cost me the most. Alex, you are smart, driven, and you will go far. You remind me of myself fifteen years ago. I only wish someone would have told me to slow down because time goes by in a blink. My oldest son is getting married in the spring, and my youngest just started college this year. It's just my wife and I alone in that big house, and it's like we don't know each other anymore. I spent too much time away from her, and I’ve forgotten the reasons I married her. Pamela was temptation, but that's all.” Mitch lowered himself into a chair at the end of the boardroom table. “I asked you to come to this conference because I knew you weren't going to say no and that you wouldn't disappoint me. I also know that you look out for Erica. It was a good call bringing her on board. She's done wonders in her department.” Mitch looked around and lowered his voice. “I hope she is not your temptation to resist because it would be wise to do something about it now. Can you keep your interactions professional or will this become a problem?”
“There is nothing between Erica and me. I was just trying to help out an old friend. I can handle her. Like you, I love my wife. ” I replied instantly.
“Good.” Mitch answered after studying me for a moment. “I guess you’re planning an early exit from the event tonight. My suggestion is to seek out Deal first before you leave.”
“I'm way ahead of you.” I smirked at him before I turned and left the room.
Chapter ThirteenCourtney
I ran my hand down the smooth fabric of my dress. I knew I wasn't showing however I felt like everyone could tell that I was pregnant. I was grateful for the wide band that cinched the waist of my champagne-colored strapless sequined gown. It was the reason I chose it. The color also looked good against my skin, and I let my hair fall around my shoulders in loose curls just the way I knew Alex liked it. I had spent all morning in little boutiques downtown trying to put together the perfect look all the way down to my strappy Jimmy Choos.
Forever True (The Story of Us) Page 6