by Allie Able
I smack her ass and she lets out a squeal. “I want you in the bed tonight.”
There aren’t many places in this house I haven’t had her, but tonight I need her under me. Tonight I need to make love to the woman who I’m quickly falling in love with.
I crawl onto the mattress with her still wrapped around me. Taking my time, I pull her clothes off of her. I kiss every piece of newly exposed skin. I rub and stroke every inch of her, before using my mouth to trace the same lines that my hands just explored. By the time I finally slide my rock hard cock inside of her, she is dripping wet. I move slowly and she does the same. With every move of my body, I try to tell her how much she means to me. Her eyes shine brightly up at me, taking in every expression that passes over my face. I know she can see it. I know she can see how much I’m falling for her, but she never closes her eyes, she just watches me as we both come together with a moan.
That was the most intense sex I’ve ever had. Jenna and I have done some rough and rowdy things. I’ve had her in every imaginable position and I always come hard, but that was something new something different. That was something I have never experienced with another person.
I kiss her collarbone, her neck, and her cheeks, before finally making my way to her mouth. I kiss her deep and hard. I pull back and look into her beautiful eyes one more time. God, there is no doubt about it that I could look at her all day every day and never get tired of it. I kiss the freckles that run across her nose and slowly pull out of her. I roll us both onto our sides and she hitches a leg up over my hip. I can feel my come leaking out of her and that has me almost ready to go again.
Smoothing her hair back out of her face, I look down to see her eyes are already closed. I pull her closer to me and bury my face in her hair. If she would let me, I could be whatever type of man she needed. I would jump through hoops just to be in this woman’s life, but I’m scared to death she may never want me. I know her heart may feel the same as mine, but I’m not sure she will ever let her head follow through with it.
Chapter Fifteen
Jenna
I WAKE UP THE NEXT morning and look towards my bedroom window. It’s still dark out, so I turn to look at my alarm clock. It’s four o’clock. What in the world woke me up this early? I feel Parker move and it becomes clear what woke me up. His arm is around my waist and his hand is cupping my breast. His thumb moves across my nipple and everything south of my belly button starts to tingle. I moan and push my ass against his hardness.
“Fuck, Jenna.” His voice is rough with sleep and that turns me on even more.
I feel his lips on my back as he kisses his way up to my shoulder. He pulls my body tighter against him, before whispering in my ear.
“I’m falling in love with you, Freckles.”
My body stills and my breathing picks up. His arm around me tightens and he holds me in place.
“Don’t you dare even think about running. You know I’ll just chase you. I know we had an arrangement, but that changed for me a long time ago. You don’t have to tell me how you feel, baby. I can see it and I can feel it. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll give you all of the time in the world. Okay?”
I don’t know what to say. Yes, I care about him. Yes, I could see myself falling in love with him and if I’m honest with myself, I probably already have, but I’m scared to death to hand over my heart to him. What will happen when he breaks me? What will happen when he decides he doesn’t want me anymore? I will be left vulnerable all over again and I have a feeling it would be much worse than it was with David.
As I’m thinking of how to respond, my stomach suddenly rolls and I can feel the vomit coming up the back of my throat. I throw Parker’s arm off of me and dive out of the bed. I drop to my knees in front of the toilet and begin to vomit like I have been doing for almost a week. I thought viruses were suppose to go away within forty-eight hours, but this one is rough.
I hear footsteps coming my way and I hold my hand up as I hug the toilet seat. “No,” I mumble, hoping he gets that I don’t want him to see me like this.
“Freckles, are you okay?” I can hear the worry in his voice.
I shake my head and moan.
“Did I upset you that much?”
I want to laugh and if I didn’t have my head in a toilet I probably would.
“No. I’ve been sick.”
He places my robe around my shoulders and I quickly slip my arms through it. I don’t bother with the tie, but if he isn’t going to go away the last thing I want is for him to see my vomit while I’m naked. Another round of nausea hit’s me and I heave into the toilet again. I haven’t been able to keep much down, so at this point I have nothing left to throw up.
I hear the water running and then I feel a warm rag on the back of my neck. My hair is pulled away from my face and he ties it up on top of my head.
“Thank you.” I turn my head to look at him and I see that he’s put on his boxers. His hands are on his hips and his eyes look really concerned.
“I’ll be right back.” He turns and walks out of the bathroom in quick strides. I think about crawling towards the bathroom door and locking it, but I don’t have enough energy.
He comes back a second later with a water bottle.
I take it from him and swish the water around in my mouth before spitting it into the toilet. I take a tiny sip and swallow, praying to God it stays down.
Parker sits down against the bathroom wall and pulls me into his lap. I try to resist but his warm chest feels too good. I curl my legs up under me and press myself further into him.
“How long have you been sick, Jenna?”
“About a week.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He sounds hurt and the last thing I want to do is hurt him.
“I didn’t think you needed to know. I’m a big girl, Parker. I can take care of myself.”
“Yes, you can, but you know I would take care of you. I want to take care of you.”
He kisses the top of my head and pulls me to him. The sincerity in his words makes tears springing to my eyes. What the fuck? I never cry. I can’t even remember the last time I cried. I’m going to blame it on being sick and exhausted. I bury my face in his neck, breathing in his smell.
I must fall asleep because the next thing I know, I’m being lifted into his strong arms and carried back to the bed.
“What are you doing?”
“Laying you back down, baby. Get some rest. I’m going to call Summer and tell her you’ll be out today. Whenever you wake up, I’m taking you to the doctor. I don’t know how I’m just now noticing this, but you’ve lost too much weight. Have you kept anything down?”
I shake my head as he lays me down on the bed. I start to protest, but my cool sheets feel too good and to be honest, I don’t have the energy to fight him. I really do need to go to the doctor. I’m not getting any better and I have a feeling he wouldn’t listen to me right now anyway.
He goes to move away from the bed, but I grab his hand.
“Will you please lay with me?” I hate sounding so weak, but I need him. I am closer to him than anyone else in this world and right now I need him. I’ll be strong again later.
His eyes are soft and I see his love for me shining brightly in them. He pushes a few stray hairs off of my face.
“I’m not going anywhere, Freckles. I’m grabbing my phone and calling Summer, then I will be right back to hold you.” He bends down and kisses my forehead before standing up.
I drift back to sleep, while I listen to his deep, caring voice talk.
* * *
“Are you okay?” Parker asks, as he drives me to the doctor later that morning.
I nod my head and look out the window. “Yeah, I’m still a bit queasy, but I think your car is safe.”
He chuckles and reaches for my hand. “I don’t care about the car. I’m just worried about you.”
When he says things like that I melt and it’s just the words he’s saying, it’s the since
rity in his tone. For the past two months, we have carried on like there is nothing between us but sex. Somewhere along the way things shifted, though, or maybe it was like that from the beginning and we were just lying to ourselves. I don’t think fuck buddies spend almost every night at each other’s houses. They certainly don’t share meals and cuddle after wards either. My feelings for him have gotten deeper and deeper and now I am royally screwed. Sometimes I think it would be best to just stop what we’re doing all together, but whenever I think about not having him in my life anymore, I feel a pain in my chest.
He parks his car in the parking lot of the doctor’s office and comes around to open my door. I still feel really shaky and dizzy. I’m hoping he can give me some type of shot and hopefully I will feel better by tomorrow. I don’t think I can handle one more day of this.
He places his hand on the small of my back and leads me inside. We check in and have a seat in the waiting room. Today must be a slow day because we are the only ones here. It’s not long before the nurse calls me back.
I hesitate when Parker stands with me. I don’t know if I’m comfortable with him back there with me, but when I look over at his face, I know I can’t tell him to stay out here. He’s stayed with me all morning and he’s worried about me. Besides, I don’t know if he would even listen if I told him not to come back.
He stands by my side as they check my temperature, my weight, and my blood pressure. I go into the bathroom to pee into the cup, before joining him in the room they put us in.
We don’t say much as we wait for the doctor. I choose to sit in the chair beside him instead of on the table. I lay my head against his shoulder and he wraps his arm around me. I’m so damn dizzy that every time I close my eyes it feels like the room is spinning.
The doctor comes in a short time later. He looks to be around my parents age. He gives me a kind smile and I lift my head from Parker’s shoulder to greet him.
“Alright. Your blood pressure looks good, but I imagine you’re a little dehydrated. My wife swears by this ginger tea that is suppose to help with nausea. I don’t feel comfortable prescribing you anything in your condition, but you can talk to your regular doctor and they may can give you something that would help. Try the tea and hopefully you can start keeping some fluids down soon.”
“Does she have a stomach virus?” I look over at Parker as he clasps his hands in lap and leans forward.
The doctor looks over at me with his eyebrows raised, before looking back at Parker.
“I’m her boyfriend,” Parker says, answering the unspoken question. I don’t bother correcting him, especially in front of the doctor. I’m not sure what we are now anyways.
“Ms. Hudson, would you like to speak in private?”
Why would I need to speak to him in private? I guess they really take confidentially seriously around here. I don’t mind him telling me I have a stomach virus in front of Parker though. He already saw me throwing up everything I had this morning.
I shake my head. “No. It’s fine.”
The doctor looks between us and back down at the file in his hands one more time before saying the words I would have never expected to hear.
“Well, it looks like your pregnant, Ms. Hudson. I can’t tell how far along with just a simple urine test, you’ll have to go to your OBGYN for that, but the pregnancy is more than likely where your nausea and vomiting is coming from. Congratulations.”
I stare back at him with my mouth hanging agape. Surely he didn’t just say what I think he said. I look over at Parker and his expression is similar to mine. He clears his throat before addressing the doctor.
“I’m sorry. Can you repeat that?”
The doctor chuckles and I want to slap him. “I said congratulations. It looks like you’re going to be parents.”
“I’m on the pill,” I choke out.
“Yes, as you know not all forms of birth control are one hundred percent effective. You’ll want to stop taking it immediately. I would also start taking some over-the-counter prenatal vitamins while you wait to see your doctor.”
He goes on about me needing to make an appointment with my regular doctor and hands us a pamphlet on do’s and don’ts while pregnant, but it’s all a blur. I can’t make out his words anymore. All I keep hearing is ‘I’m pregnant’. This cannot be happening.
When he leaves the room, Parker pulls me into his arms. I can feel him shaking and I can’t even imagine what’s going through his head.
“It’s going to be okay, Jenna. Breathe, baby, breathe. Everything is going to be fine.”
I don’t know if he’s trying to convince himself or me, but right now everything doesn’t feel fine. Our worlds just forever changed all because we made the stupid decision to be friends with benefits.
Chapter Sixteen
Parker
THE DRIVE BACK TO JENNA’S house is filled with complete silence. I’m scared if I open my mouth that I’ll say something stupid. I’m freaking out and part of me wants to yell ‘how in the hell did this happen’, while the other part of me wants to keep reassuring her that everything is going to be fine. I have a feeling she doesn’t want my reassurances though. I can tell she’s stuck in her own head right now and I can’t even imagine what she’s thinking. She just stares out the passenger side window. I can feel her shutting down. Just when I thought we were finally starting to move forward in our relationship, life throws us a damn curve ball.
When we pull up in her driveway, she’s out of the car before I can even put it in park.
I sigh as I cut off the engine and follow her up the steps. She doesn’t say a word as we walk through the front door. She goes directly to the kitchen and drops her purse on the island. I lean against the doorway and watch her as she fills up a glass with water.
“How are you feeling?” I ask, breaking the silence.
“I’m fine.”
“We need to talk about this, Jenna.”
She turns to stare at me and I see the exhaustion and worry all over her face. “Can we please not do this right now?”
I hesitate. I want to push her and see where her head is at. I want to know what she’s thinking and I want to know if she’s considering aborting our baby. No, I wasn’t ready to be a dad right now, but that’s not something I’m even considering and I hope she isn’t either. Instead of pushing her to talk to me, I simply nod my head.
“Alright, Freckles.”
She looks close to tears and all I want to do is hold her. I know the last thing she probably wants right now is my hands on her, but I can’t stop myself from walking to her. I pull her into my arms and hold her close.
Her body stays tense and she doesn’t hug me back. I’m fucking losing her.
I step back after a long minute and cup her cheeks in my hand. I study her tired eyes wishing she would give me something, but she never does. “Why don’t you go get some rest?”
She nods her head and looks away. “Yeah, thanks for taking me to the doctor. I’ll see you later.”
She’s asking me to leave. She’s being polite about it, but it’s obvious she doesn’t want me here.
“Is that what you want, Jenna?”
I see her eyes become glossy with unshed tears and she steps back away from me. My hands fall to my sides and I stand there just staring at her.
“I just want to be alone right now,” she whispers.
I sigh and run a hand through my hair. The woman I’m in love with and who I just found out will soon be the mother of my child can’t even stand to look at me right now.
“Alright.”
I look at her one last time before turning to go. I know she’s scared. Hell, I am too. I just wish we could do this together. I wish she would trust me enough to let me in.
* * *
I’m not getting any work done. I’ve been staring at this damn computer for thirty minutes and I don’t think I’ve taken in a word of this case I’m suppose to be working on. I lean back in my chair and scrub my ha
nds down my face.
What I really want to be doing is holding Jenna. I want to figure out what our plan is and I just want to fucking be there for her right now, but that’s not an option. She made it crystal clear that she wants to be alone.
I know this is stressful. If I’m being honest, I am scared out of my Goddamned mind, but we are both grown adults. It isn’t like we are teenagers. Yes, this may be unorthodox and not planned, but I know we can make it work. Hell, I’m already in love with the woman.
I look down at my watch and see that it’s passed eight o’clock. I wonder if she’s eaten. I wonder if she’s still having trouble keeping food down. I bet she didn’t go get that tea that the doctor recommended.
My thoughts are driving me insane, so I stand up and start packing up my office. I’m not going to let her push me away. I’m not going to let her do this alone. We need to figure this out together.
I set the alarm and lock up the office. I make a quick stop and pick up some soup and the ginger tea on the way to her house. It took me ten minutes to figure out which tea he was talking about. Why are there so many? Do we really need that many kind of teas?
When I walk up the stairs to her house, I wonder if I should knock. I test the doorknob and it turns. Surely if she didn’t want me here, she would have locked the door instead of keeping it open like she’s been doing for the past few weeks. The house is quiet and most of the lights are turned out. I walk through the living room and into the kitchen. Still no sign of Jenna, so I drop the paper bags down on the counter and make my way towards her bedroom.
The moon is shining through her window and it casts a glow on her small figure. She lying in the middle of the bed on her side. Her face is soft with sleep and I’m shocked to see that Coconut is curled up next to stomach. Her stomach that now holds my baby. God, this beautiful woman is carrying our child. I feel a rush of possessiveness and I try to tap it down. I still have no claim over her. We haven’t talked about our relationship or where we will go from here. For all I know, she may want to stop what we are doing all together, but I can’t help the way I feel. As crazy as it is, in my mind Jenna is mine. She’s been mine from the moment she let me touch her. I just need to convince her that I’m hers as well.