So it was with some surprise that they saw her car pull up one morning early after breakfast. Charlotte gave the car door a business-like slam and strode purposefully toward the house.
‘Uh, oh,’ said William, and Erin thought the same. Matt rose to greet his beloved and the three watched with interest. No passionate hugs here, thought Erin. Matt smiled a welcome, but they didn’t even touch.
‘Hi, Charlotte? What brings you here?’
‘Because I’ve been longing to see you.’ That was what she should have said, Erin thought and with a blinding flash of clarity she also thought, that’s what I would have said. Instead, Charlotte said no such thing.
‘Because I have such good news,’ Charlotte told him, not even bothering to greet Erin and the children. ‘Priscilla’s has had a cancellation and the church is free at the same time!’
‘Priscilla’s?’
‘You know Priscilla’s. The great reception house up in the hills behind town. It used to belong to Sir Reginald Chester and his family but they let it go to ruin. The people who’ve restored it have done such a fantastic job. It’s the best, Matthew, and it’s the only thing that’s been holding up our wedding as I refuse to hold our reception anywhere but at the best. Mummy agrees. But now it’s all set. Four weeks from today. Then two weeks’ honeymoon on Norfolk Island and back here as man and wife.’
And she looked at Erin for the first time-and beamed.
Erin flinched.
She couldn’t live with this woman, she thought, even if she was welcome. And the thought of playing third party to a newly-wed Matt and Charlotte made her feel ill.
‘I… That’s great,’ she managed. Her eyes moved to Matt who was looking distinctly uncomfortable. ‘I’ll organise something with Tom. If we can stay for those six weeks, we’ll be out before you’re back from your honeymoon.’
‘You’re welcome to stay,’ Matt started but Charlotte cut in over him.
‘Of course you’ll stay until we get back from our honeymoon,’ she said sweetly. ‘But after that… Matt and I have talked about it. Three adults looking after two children is a bit of overkill-wouldn’t you say, Erin?’
‘Well-’
‘Of course it is. And Matt won’t hear of moving the children out until the orphanage is rebuilt.’ She tucked her arm in his, society hostess approving her slightly eccentric husband’s absurd acts of generosity. ‘So after we return, I’ll play mother to the boys.’ She looked doubtfully at Erin. ‘I suppose the Orphanage can find somewhere for you to stay.’
She’s acting like I’m an orphan myself, Erin thought wildly. Good grief!
‘Erin can stay here,’ Matt growled but Erin and Charlotte ignored him.
‘You’re saying you and Matt wish to be the boys’ foster parents?’ Erin demanded. She felt sick.
Why, though? She had no right to be. The boys weren’t hers.
And if Matt loved them then maybe it’d turn out to be a long-term solution for them. They loved Matt so much, and as long as they stayed out of Charlotte’s way…
Which wasn’t going to happen, she decided, marshalling her thoughts as the twins looked on in confusion. Charlotte had made not the slightest effort to conceal her dislike of the children. How could the twins possibly be expected to ignore that dislike?
They’d cause trouble the minute Erin left.
‘You’d be good for us, wouldn’t you?’ Charlotte asked them, gimlet-eyed. Dear God, Erin thought. Maybe they would, and the thought of subdued twins was almost worse than the thought of naughty ones.
‘I’ll have to talk to Tom before I can agree,’ she managed. ‘Tom’s the director of Bay Beach Orphanage. Arrangements like this are up to him.’
In answer, Charlotte gave her lovely, soft, carefully cultivated laugh.
‘It’s a wonderful offer, Erin. How could Tom refuse?’
How indeed?
CHAPTER TEN
‘I’M SORRY that was sprung on you.’
Charlotte hadn’t stuck around for long. ‘With only four weeks to go I have so much to organise. Goodness, Matt, we haven’t even sent out the invitations yet. Mother and I have so much to do.’ And with that she was gone.
The twins, not understanding a word of what had been said-they’d formed the habit of tuning out whenever Charlotte was around-had left to do their allotted morning tasks, and Erin was left facing Matt.
She felt sick. What had he said? She gave herself a mental shake, hauling her thoughts together. ‘I guess you don’t have to be sorry. It’s been very generous of you to offer to have us this long, and we now have another six weeks.’
‘You can all stay for as long as you want,’ he said, more forcibly than he’d intended, and Erin gave him a half hearted smile.
‘Matt, you know that’s not possible. Six weeks will give us time to find…’
‘Erin, I want the twins!’
That startled her. She sat back and looked at him, and for the first time saw the pain and the longing behind his eyes.
Pain? Matt? Matt who’d been so careful for his whole life to keep him existence emotion free? Who was marrying Charlotte as yet another way to keep his world ordered and emotionless.
And yet there was definitely pain. And longing.
‘You want to keep them?’ she asked incredulously and he nodded.
‘Yes. Hell, Erin, they’re great kids. If I can persuade Charlotte… If I can get her used to them, then I’ll adopt them. God knows they deserved better treatment than they’ve been getting.’
‘I look after them,’ she said, and got a swift shamefaced smile for her pains.
‘Of course you do. I didn’t mean to infer that you don’t. But you know what Bay Beach is like. Like every local, I’ve heard their story, and what I didn’t know exactly I’ve heard by asking around. And I think, if Charlotte gets to like them…’
‘Do you think she will?’
‘They’ll be outside with me most of the time.’ He gave her a half-hearted grin. ‘She knows I want children and this way she won’t have to get pregnant to have them. That’ll be a bonus.’
A bonus? Was he kidding? Erin thought of the possibility of bearing babies for Matt, and she felt her heart constrict at the thought. There was a wave of almost indescribable longing…
Stop it, Erin, she told herself sharply. There was nothing down that road but pain.
‘So you’ll have a wife and family with minimum effort,’ she managed, and he nodded as if her question was entirely reasonable.
‘Yes. I could even enjoy it.’
‘You think the boys could, too?’
‘I don’t see why not?’
‘They need a mother.’
‘They can get by with just me.’
There. He’d said it. It hung between them, cold and flat, an expression of what he knew his marriage would be. An expression of all he’d learned the world held.
The twins didn’t need a mother. He didn’t need a wife.
Well, he didn’t, he thought bleakly, and why the sight of Erin, white-faced and trying desperately to disguise her desperation, should have the power to move him, to make him want to reach out and take her hands in his and hold her…
For comfort, he told himself harshly. For nothing but comfort!
‘It won’t work, Matt,’ Erin said sadly. ‘It’s a fine offer but the boys need a family.’
‘We would be a family.’
‘Nope.’
‘Erin, you can’t keep them forever. You’re being selfish.’
‘And you’re being blind.’ She rose, and she felt blind herself. Washed-out and ill. This man was so special, and he was committing himself to a woman who resembled nothing so much as a piece of cold cod fish. And he was committing because Charlotte wouldn’t interfere with his life. Because he didn’t know what a family could be.
She could show him, she thought wildly. She could teach him.
But her help wasn’t being asked for. All she could do was look out for her twin
s.
‘I need to talk to Tom,’ she said bleakly. ‘I can’t make any promises. If Tom says it’s okay, then it’s none of my business.’
‘Let him try.’
‘I beg your pardon?’
‘You heard what I said?’ There were two women and one man seated in the kitchen of Bay Beach Orphanage Home Number One. The twins were outside with the other kids, and Lori, Erin and Tom were sitting at the kitchen table holding mugs of coffee before them. The mugs were ignored. There was trouble on all of their faces.
Erin had outlined the basic facts. Lori, who’d heard an interesting version of what was happening from Wendy, was wise enough to keep her own counsel, and Tom had reached his own conclusions.
‘From what I’ve heard, Charlotte’s not the woman to make the twins happy,’ he said. ‘But the twins think Matt’s great and he can keep them under control. Okay, he’s made the offer and it’s a good one. We owe it to the boys to see if it’ll work.’
‘But-’
‘I’m not leaving them there indefinitely,’ Tom said, raising his hand to silence her. ‘Nor am I making other arrangements for you yet, Erin. We’ve put too much trouble into the boys and seen too much improvement to risk losing all our good work now. What I suggest is that we ask Matt and Charlotte to spend a weekend together before the wedding. With the boys. If, after that, they still want to go ahead with keeping the twins, then we’ll assess them as potential foster parents.’
‘Tom…’
‘It’s a gamble,’ he said, his wise eyes resting on Erin and seeing things that maybe she didn’t even realise she was showing. ‘But we’ll take it.’
It was a very long shot, Tom thought, and it wasn’t entirely the twins’ future he was fighting for here. But maybe it was worth the taking.
Erin never found out what means Matt used to persuade Charlotte to spend a weekend of her precious wedding preparations caring for the twins. All she knew was that he had.
‘Tom’s right. It’s sensible,’ he told her. ‘For us to come back from our honeymoon and have no idea how to care for the boys-well, it’ll be less of a shock for everyone if we do it this way.’
‘I don’t like to leave them,’ Erin said doubtfully and Matt thought suddenly that he knew exactly how she felt. He didn’t like her leaving either. But that was emotion speaking. If it had to be, then this was the best way.
‘You know we’re capable of looking after the boys.’
‘No one’s capable if they make up their minds to be trouble.’
‘They behave for me,’ Matt told her.
‘I know.’ But she was still troubled.
And the twins were not pleased. ‘Why do you have to go?’
She had her reason all worked out. ‘You know Shanni? She’s expecting another baby, she’s tired and her husband’s just had an operation. She needs help, and I’ve offered to give her a little holiday.’ That much was the absolute truth. If Erin had to take a break she might as well make herself useful.
‘We don’t like it when you go away.’
‘You know I had breaks as a House Mother. You coped then.’
‘But we didn’t like it,’ Henry said mutinously. ‘We always get into trouble when you’re away.’
Oh, dear!
‘You won’t get into trouble when you’re staying with me,’ Matt told them, clapping his big hands on their shoulders and smiling down at them with a no-nonsense smile. ‘Charlotte and I can look after you very well.’
‘We don’t like Charlotte.’
‘You hardly know Charlotte.’ This was stupid. Arguing with children?
‘Erin, where will you be?’ William’s eyes filled with tears, and Erin’s heart clenched. Heck, they’d wrapped themselves around her heart like a hairy worm. She loved them so much-and she had to set them free. This way was right, she told herself fiercely. This way they had a chance of what they needed most in the world. A family.
‘I won’t be far,’ she told them.
‘She’ll just be around the other side of the bay,’ Matt told them, missing Erin’s warning glance. She knew it wasn’t safe to be specific as to her whereabouts, but he didn’t pick it. ‘In fact, if we go down to the beach this afternoon and take the binoculars, you’ll be able to see Nick and Shanni’s house across the sea.’
‘Is it near?’
‘Near enough for me to come right back on Sunday night,’ Erin told them. ‘I’ll be gone for two sleeps and then I’ll be back. So no problems. Please?’
‘They’ll be fine.’ A heavily pregnant Shanni waddled into her friend’s bedroom with two cups of hot chocolate and handed one over to her friend. ‘Come on, Erin. It’s Friday night at nine o’clock and you’re worried already. By Sunday you’ll be a nervous wreck.’
‘And I should be doing this for you.’ Erin took her chocolate and grimaced in guilt.
‘Nick made it,’ Shanni said placidly. ‘He’s still on sick leave, and Doc Emily says he might as well make himself useful. Light housework is fine, she told him, and you should have seen his face when she said it. Court appearances are out, but ironing’s in.’
Erin chuckled, but her heart wasn’t in it.
‘If only I could be sure Charlotte would look after them.’
‘Hey, she’s not a monster.’
‘She’s close!’
‘Matt loves her. She must have something going for her.’
‘Matt thinks she won’t disturb his life. That’s why he’s marrying her. She’s just like his mother.’
‘Hmm.’ Shanni plonked herself down on Erin’s bed and the bed sagged alarmingly. ‘Boy, I’m huge,’ she said placidly. ‘Not disturbing his life, hey? That’s not much of a basis for a marriage.’
‘It’s what he wants.’
‘Is it, I wonder?’ Shanni asked. ‘Or is it just what he thinks he wants?’ She wiggled more comfortably onto the bed and let her mug of chocolate rest on her very pregnant bulge. The baby inside her moved and her hot chocolate splashed onto her robe. She ignored it, as if such events were commonplace.
‘Nick used to think he liked being a bachelor,’ she added contentedly. ‘And here he is and he couldn’t be happier. Sometimes…well, sometimes men don’t know what they want. Sometimes it’s up to us women to show them.’
‘I sure don’t know how.’
‘Hmm,’ Shanni said again, and the look she cast at her friend was very thoughtful indeed.
It had to be tonight. Damnation! Just when he wanted to spend the night with the twins, he was forced to leave them with Charlotte.
But he had no choice. One of Matt’s prize cows was down with her first calf, and she was in all sorts of trouble. At eight Matt rang the vet, and at ten they were both knee deep in trouble.
From dinner time on, Matt didn’t see the twins. There couldn’t be a problem with them though, he told himself, as he worked on into the night. Charlotte had decreed that dinner was to be followed by the twins’ bedtime. That should be fine. So when finally his calf was successfully born, he headed wearily for the house with only a little guilt weighing him down.
But he couldn’t help thinking it would have been better if he’d been able to say goodnight to the twins himself.
And, at first glance, things were just fine.
Charlotte was sitting placidly in the sitting room waiting for him. This was the vision he’d had when he’d asked her to marry him, he thought as he opened the door. A man should come home to this, rather than what he was accustomed to-solitude and take-away pizza.
Charlotte was looking serene and lovely, and the room was looking beautiful to match. Even though the night hardly warranted it, the wind was getting up and she’d lit the fire. The vases were filled with carefully arranged flowers. She’d waxed the furniture, and all his mother’s carefully acquired porcelain pieces had been polished.
The room looked just as it had when his mother had been alive, and he paused on the threshold for a moment to savour it.
Order and calm, a
nd two great kids in bed, sleeping soundly.
This was what he’d always known was right, and, as he crossed the room to give Charlotte a swift kiss of appreciation, he thought finally that he’d done the right thing.
But apparently not completely. Charlotte’s nose was wrinkling in distaste.
‘Phew. Matthew, you smell.’
‘Hey, I’ve washed and taken off my boots,’ he told her, offended. This was good, clean cattle smell after all. ‘I thought I’d come and find you before I took a shower.’
‘Then think again,’ she told him calmly. ‘Cattle smells in the living room are unacceptable.’
‘But we’ve succeeded in delivering a great little calf.’ He was determined to tell her his good news. ‘Mum and calf are both well.’
‘Matt…’
‘Aren’t you interested?’
‘After you’ve showered.’
‘Fine.’
Only it wasn’t fine. He knew instinctively that if Erin was here she’d be excited for him. Sure, the flowers wouldn’t be gorgeously arranged-maybe there’d be a bunch of daisies in a jam jar-and the porcelain wouldn’t be polished but…
Hell! This was what he wanted-wasn’t it?
‘I’ll just go and check the twins,’ he said and her brow snapped down as if he’d just mentioned something else that was distasteful.
‘There’s no need. They’re asleep.’
‘You didn’t have any trouble with them?’
‘Only a stupid argument about them sleeping in the same bed. They’re too old to do that. It seems they both wanted to sleep with that disgusting stuffed toy they insist on sharing. I solved the problem by taking it away from them.’
Silence. Then…
‘You took away Tigger?’ he said cautiously.
‘Is that what they call it?’ she said, and her voice was indifferent. ‘It’s revolting. I locked it in the pantry.’
He guessed he could only be thankful she hadn’t burned it! ‘But they’re asleep anyway?’
‘Of course.’
Only, of course, they weren’t. When he checked, they weren’t even in their beds.
‘Erin?’
Adopted: Twins! Page 15