I let out a sigh of relief as the bartender placed two drinks in front of Bryce. Fortunately, the conversation would end soon. I hoped. I couldn’t help but stare at the men who now appeared to be laughing. Bryce patted Keith on the back before he picked up our drinks and walked over to where I was sitting. Keith continued to his table, which thankfully, was located on the opposite side of the dining room.
Bryce handed me a glass of pinot grigio. I instantly regretted not getting something stronger. He sat down next to me, leaned over and gave me a small kiss. He held out his scotch, “To the most beautiful girl in this place. No make that the whole world. I love you, Cecelia.”
I smiled at him and took a sip of wine, “I love you too.” Then he gave me another soft and gentle kiss. I was dying to turn around and see if Keith was watching us, but I refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing me look his way if he did have his eyes on us.
I swallowed hard, “So, I noticed you were talking to the judge.” I placed my wine glass back on the table, “What were you guys talking about?” I hoped my tone seemed innocent.
“Oh, I was just telling him how much I enjoyed the ceremony. He did an excellent job, don’t you think?”
“Hmm. I guess,” I shrugged my shoulders. “I wasn’t really paying attention. You know, been to one wedding, been to them all,” I lied.
Of course, I hung on his every word. I listened so intently I probably could recite everything verbatim.
Bryce placed his hand on my knee and squeezed gently, “His words were so beautiful. There was this one part where he spoke about how difficult finding everlasting love was. He said it takes a lot of effort and so many people give up prematurely because it gets too hard. He said it was heartbreaking when people don’t give love a proper chance missing out on the joy and happiness true love brings. Oh Cee, his words hit home with me. I kept thinking about what my life would have been like if you and I didn’t make it. I can’t imagine living without you and the boys.” He chuckled and shook his head. “Look at me. I am such a mush, I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”
I knew exactly the part my husband was referring to. I was very glad Keith’s speech affected Bryce. However, I didn’t believe one single word that came out of the good judge’s mouth. He was such a hypocrite. He knew absolutely nothing about love!
Bryce turned serious and added, “You’ll probably think I’m crazy. I told him I felt like he was talking to us.”
My heart pounded fast in my chest. Crap! I tried to convince myself I imagined it. If Bryce noticed it too, then it actually did happen. As Keith stood on the golf course, under the twinkling stars, conducting the wedding ceremony he was talking to us all right. Or, better put, he was talking to me. I didn’t know what his intentions were, but he kept turning to face me as he spoke. He didn’t even try to hide what he was doing. He was so blatant about it. It was infuriating!
I couldn’t sit here one second longer and discuss the ceremony or the judge with my husband. I stood up and reached out my arm as the band started playing a slow song. “Come dance with me.” I said with a wink.
Bryce didn’t hesitate. He took my hand and escorted me to the center of the dance floor, right near where Anna was dancing with her husband, Cole.
Nothing got past Anna. She missed her calling in life. She should have been an FBI agent rather than a marketing executive. She had already questioned me about Keith during the cocktail hour. Of course, I lied. I knew she didn’t believe me for a second. I was shocked she didn’t grab my arm and drag me into the ladies room for a proper interrogation right then and there. I was dying to find out if she noticed Keith staring at me during the ceremony. There was no way I was going to ask her now.
What was I doing? I had to stop it. I knew couldn’t continue to let my mind wander like this all night. I would only drive myself crazy. I didn’t want to bring any more attention to myself than I already had. I needed to stop worrying and wondering about Keith and his motives. I made up my mind to focus on the here and now. I glanced over at my boys, Dylan and Donovan. They looked happy sitting at the kid’s table with Anna’s children and their cousins. I beamed at Bryce as I reminded myself I was in the arms of the man I loved. My head and heart should be with the three men I adored most, not with Keith. But there was still a small part of me that couldn’t help but wish Keith’s arms were around me once more.
Bryce spun me around. Of course, my eyes landed on Keith. I semi-buried my face in my husband’s neck and nuzzled it. However, as I snuggled up to my present, I couldn’t help but keep one eye fixated on my past. My actions weren’t lost on Keith. Anger flashed in his eyes as he practically jumped out of his seat. He threw his napkin down on his chair and started to walk away from the table. I prayed he was headed home, out of my life for good. Of course, my prayer wasn’t answered. He only made it as far as the bar, his eyes never leaving me.
CHAPTER THREE
KEITH
They just served the wedding cake, and I was still standing at the damn bar feeling like the biggest loser known to man. My feet had been practically glued to this spot for the entire night. I had absolutely no desire to return to my table and make small talk with Walter and Beatrice’s friends. Three months ago this seemed like such a perfect plan. Now, not so much…
I took my phone out of my pocket and glanced at the time. It was almost one o’clock in the morning. Surely this party would end soon. What had I accomplished here tonight? Absolutely, nothing!
I took another sip of my scotch before I scrolled through my text messages. Compulsively, for the fifth time, I reread the multiple rapid fire ones Walter had sent me earlier this evening. The old man knew me so well. Then again, after more than a quarter of a century why shouldn’t he? Wally was completely right to be worried I’d change my mind and not show up tonight. It was very out of character for me to put myself in a vulnerable position. The poor man was clearly frantic I was going to leave him in the lurch and bail. If only he knew I was already on the country club’s premises when he was texting me. In fact, I actually arrived two hours early tonight. The thought of seeing her again had me sweating through my suit. I knew I had to get myself together before I went in there.
When I got here, I handed the valet parkers a very large tip in exchange for them letting me hang out in their booth. I knew it was crazy, but I wanted to see Cecelia when she arrived. I needed some semblance of control. I had to lay eyes on her before she saw me. There was no way I would be able to simply stroll into a crowed room filled with people close to her, when I saw her again for the first time.
Thank goodness I was alone. My heart almost stopped beating when she got out of the car. She was just as beautiful as I remembered, possibly even more so. The years had been more than kind to her. Her strawberry blond hair was darker, almost red now and much longer than it used to be. Her smile was just as enchanting as I remembered, and even though I knew she had twin boys she still had a killer body. I prayed she would turn and look in my direction. I wanted to see her eyes. I needed to see if she was truly happy or if her smile was just a façade. I was desperate to find out if she ever thought about me, missed me, and if she still cared about me, even just a little bit.
I didn’t get one clue. She didn’t turn in my direction. She simply got out of the car and opened the backseat door and helped her little boys out of the car. Sure, I knew from Wally she had two-year-old twins. But knowing it and seeing them in the flesh were two completely different things. Cecelia had a life. A family. And here I sat with nothing, still wanting her.
“How are you holding up?” Walter asked as he patted me on the back.
I shrugged my shoulders, “What am I doing here, Wally?” I combed my fingers through my hair, scratching my scalp hard in the process. “This was a huge mistake. I should have listened to you. I should never have come. What the hell was I thinking?”
“Keith, you know damn well what you were thinking. And you also knew tonight wasn’t going to be an easy o
ne.”
“Yeah. I guess. I still think I made a mistake coming here. The ceremony was a debacle.”
Wally turned to the bartender, “Give me a gin martini with two olives, please.
What are you talking about?” He pointed to my glass, “How many of those have you had anyway?”
“Not enough. I’m too focused on her to actually drink. Pretty funny, huh? I’m too depressed to drown my sorrows,” I chuckled at my lame attempt at a joke.
Walter poked me, “Listen to me, and listen to me good. Although I did try to talk you out of it, I think you did the right thing coming here tonight. I think it was brave of you and I know it was something you needed to do. You’ve been living in the past for far too long, my friend. And you have been doing nothing constructive about it. You needed to see her again, and you should be glad you did.”
The bartender handed Walter his drink.
“But by conducting a wedding ceremony, Walter? I had no business doing that.” I shook my head.
“Stop being so hard on yourself, Keith. Obviously, I paid very close attention to each and every word you said. You performed a beautiful ceremony. Beatrice told me she couldn’t have done it better, and you know coming from her that’s a huge compliment.”
I smiled. While I didn’t know Bea well, it was clear she was a tough and controlling woman. Compliments didn’t come easy from her.
“Keith, I have no doubt you spent hours planning out exactly what you were going to say tonight.”
I took a deep breath and ran my hand over my chin. “I was trying to speak to her, Wally. I was hoping she’d catch the hidden meanings in my words. I didn’t plan it, really I didn’t, but I couldn’t stop looking at her when I spoke. She didn’t even flinch. She was so stoic and cold.”
“Oh come on, Keith. Really? What did you expect her to do? How did you think she was going to act? You haven’t seen her in twenty years, for God’s sake. She’s married with twin boys. She didn’t expect you to waltz in here tonight and perform the ceremony. You planned this. She didn’t. She’s probably in shock.”
“I know, but...”
“But nothing. I’m much older than you, my friend. Hell, I could be your father. I’ve learned a lot about people in my years, and I’m a very good judge of character.” He glanced at Beatrice who was standing near the dance floor talking to a small group of women. “If you think for one moment your words were lost on her you’re dead wrong. I would bet everything I own she was hanging on every single word that came out of your mouth. In fact, I’d be shocked she wasn’t searching for hidden meanings herself.”
I arched my eyebrow.
“You know what else? I bet you think you were slick or something. Keith, come on. You didn’t try to hide the fact you were staring at her. You were so obvious even a blind man would have noticed. There’s no way she didn’t figure out what you were doing. I bet she doesn’t know what to say or do.”
“I don’t know what to do either.”
“Well, you’re a big boy,” Wally said as he patted me on the back. “Figure it out, and try not to have any more regrets. You’ve had them for way too long. Besides, I’m getting too old to keep listening to your complaints.” Walter smiled and tilted his head towards his left shoulder. “Oh, and think quick. She’s headed this way. Alone.” With that he picked up his drink, and whispered, “Don’t blow it.”
“Hey!” I called out, as Cecelia tried to rush past me.
She looked straight ahead and sped up her pace.
“Cecelia!” I said louder, even though I knew she heard me the first time.
She stopped and slowly turned to face me. Her mouth was set in a straight line and her eyes were cold. “Oh…Hi,” she mumbled as she glanced down at her shoes.
“Hi yourself,” I smiled. “I’ve been standing right here all night long. I was starting to worry you were ignoring me, and with you trying to rush right past me, I guess I was right.”
She took a deep breath. “You’re still so full of yourself, I see.” She shook her head. “I guess it’s reassuring to see some things never change. It always was all about you, and I guess it always will be. Why would you think I was ignoring you, Keith?” She offered me a small smile, which didn’t reach her eyes. “I did say hi to you when Cole introduced us, didn’t I? I think that was sufficient, don’t you? After all, at this point, what more do we really have to say to each other?” She appeared calm. Her voice was strong and even.
“I think we have a lot to talk about, Cecelia. I, for one, have a lot of things I would like to say to you.” I ran my fingers down her arm. “I’ve missed you, Cee.”
The warmth of her skin was gone before I had the chance to enjoy it. She bit her lip and took a deep breath. “You are unbelievable.”
“I’m being honest here.”
“Oh, give me a break.” She started to walk away. I grabbed her arm.
“What is it you want, Keith?”
“I just want to talk to you."
“You are so full of shit. This isn’t funny. This is my life. Come on, Keith. It has been twenty years. If you missed — if you had so much to say to me you would have done so already, but you didn’t. You never tried to contact me once. And now what? Did you just have some kind of epiphany or is this just some kind of midlife crisis?”
I opened my mouth to speak, but she didn’t give me a chance.
“Don’t bother. I don’t want to hear your bull. I’m not going to stand here and let you lie to my face. Do I look like a fool to you?” Her eyes were blazing, and a small flush had spread across her face.
“No.”
“Then stop acting as if I am one. You let me walk out of your life, and never tried to get me back.” She tucked her hair behind her ears and took a deep breath. “I don’t know what you are trying to accomplish here. And really, I don’t care. I have nothing more to say to you.” She glanced towards her family. “It took me a long time and a lot of tear-filled nights to move on, but I did.”
A tear slid down her cheek. I went to wipe it away. She pushed my hands away.
“Don’t!” She shook her head from side to side. “Don’t you dare touch me! You lost that right a long time ago.” Then her voice grew softer. “Keith, I waited for you for years. I shouldn’t even be telling you this, but I did. I kept thinking you’d call me; instead all I heard was silence. I wasted enough time missing you. I wasn’t about to let my life pass me by in the hopes one day you’d finally decide you wanted me.”
She glanced across the room at her husband. “You met my husband. He is an amazing man. He adores me. I’m a mom. I have two precious sons. I’m happy, Keith. Don’t mess with my head. I just can’t handle it.”
“I’m not playing. I’m being honest. I…”
She raised her finger and pointed it at me, “Don’t say anything more…please. I’m done. Truly, I wish you nothing but the best. I hope you have a long, happy life. Let me make myself crystal clear, I will not be a part of it. Goodbye, Keith.”
She started to walk away. “Wait.” I reached into my tuxedo pocket and pulled out my business card where I had written down my cell number. “Take this. Just in case you change your mind.”
CHAPTER FOUR
CECELIA
“Where is my muffin?” Anna stood in the doorway of my office with her hand on her hip. About a month or so after I started working here Anna and I were assigned a project together. As we approached the deadline, we ran into issue after issue. We decided to come into the office one Monday morning at six-thirty, when the office was quiet, to try to get the project back on track. We accomplished a lot of work, and also managed to get to know each other as people. Before that morning, our relationship was strictly business.
Ever since I picked up muffins on my way in on Monday mornings. Unlike me, Anna was never able to get herself to the office on time. She always claimed she didn’t have time to sit and chat yet she never passed up baked goods with a side of conversation.
“Oh
man! I guess there is a first for everything. I’m sorry. The babysitter showed up late today,” I lied. The truth was with everything going on, I totally forgot about our ritual. My mind was too focused on my past to pay attention to my present. I was thankful Bryce took Dylan and Donovan to his mother’s yesterday so I could work. I told him I had accomplished so much work, but the truth was I spent most of the day looking through the old photo album I had hidden in the top of my closet. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop thinking about Keith.
Anna put her hand on her stomach and grimaced, “That’s okay. After this weekend I sure don’t need extra calories. I think I have to go for a hundred mile run just to come close to working off the breakfast I had yesterday at Norma’s”
After the wedding, Bea arranged for Anna and Cole to spend Sunday in New York City. I was with Anna when Bea told her about the reservations she made for brunch and dinner.
“I can only imagine.” I put my hair in a ponytail. “So, did you and Cole have a great time yesterday?”
Anna beamed. “We sure did. I —”
“Oh crap,” I interrupted as I glanced at my computer. “I’m sorry, but I really need to get to it. I’m so far behind on Jennifer Warner’s website. Her new book is going to be released in a month, and she wants the website to be ready at least two weeks before the launch, and we aren’t even close.”
I felt bad. Part of me wanted to hear the full play by play of Anna’s mini vacation. But the bigger part of me wanted to rush her out of my office. I knew it was just a matter of time before she’d ask me questions I didn’t want to answer.
“Okay. I won’t hold you up,” she stared into my eyes. “We do need to talk. I didn’t have time to push you at the wedding, but I know something’s up. You’re going to tell me what the deal is with you and Walter’s friend, Keith.”
I swallowed hard.
Plan Cee (Secrets, Lies, and Second Chances Book 2) Page 2