I shrugged my shoulders. “Yes, I’ve taken a few afternoons off to spend time with Keith. So what? I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you wouldn’t understand.”
“Well, you’re right about that. I don’t get why you needed to hang out with an ex-boyfriend when you are married to an amazing guy.”
I wanted to give her a play by play of what had happened, what caused me to act the way I did. I just couldn’t bring myself to speak openly and honestly. I felt I needed to keep my tough act on, hiding just how vulnerable and worried I really was.
“Whatever,” I tucked my hair behind my ears. “I don’t need to explain my feelings or actions to you. What I do need to know is what I am dealing with, Anna.” I spoke slowly enunciating every word, “What… Exactly… Did… You… Tell… Cole?”
She rubbed her forehead. She looked like she wanted to cry. “I told him the truth. I told him I was worried about you.”
“What else did you tell him,” I demanded. “Level with me.”
“Not much, really. I told Cole I knew you and Keith had met a few times, but I didn’t really know how far things had gotten because you stopped confiding in me.”
“Well, it was a good thing I did stop sharing things with you, now wasn’t it?” I said triumphantly. “Clearly I couldn’t count on you to keep your big mouth shut.”
“Don’t blame this mess you made on me! You really are a piece of work. I’m sorry, Cecelia. Yes, I did speak to Cole. And yes, I did tell him about you kissing Keith. After everything I’ve been through, after all the secrets and lies which almost destroyed my life, how could you possibly expect me not to be honest and upfront with my husband?”
“I am not asking you to lie or keep secrets from your husband, about yourself, Anna.” I pointed at my chest, “But who I spend time with is none of Cole’s fucking business.”
“And that’s where you are wrong,” she glared at me.
She sounded so calm I wanted to choke her. “Oh really? How?”
“Did you forget Bryce is his friend? They grew up together, remember?”
I sat down opposite her. I compulsively started to bounce my leg. “Yeah, I’m fully aware of the fact. But did you forget I’m your friend? Hell! I was under the misguided impression I was your best friend. Don’t you owe me some loyalty?”
She opened her mouth to speak but I didn’t give her a chance. I shook my head from side to side, disgusted. “Do you even remember what you said to me a couple of months ago? You sat right there, in my office, and you had the audacity to be annoyed at me because I reached out to your mother and Walter instead of you.” In a mocking tone, I quoted her, “Oh you can always talk to me, about anything.” Remember? You even begged me not to go at it alone.”
She opened her mouth to speak but remained silent. It was a good thing for her we were at work. If we were anywhere else I might have just strangled her. I continued, “So I did. I let down my guard, and I confided in you. And you know what, Anna? It felt good. It felt more than good; it was a huge relief to finally feel like I wasn’t alone, trying to sort out my innermost feelings.”
She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, “I remember all of it. I was so happy you finally opened up to me. Do you remember how I tried to convince you to level with Bryce? Do you remember how I begged you to stop seeing Keith? I told you that you were playing with fire, but you didn’t want to listen to me. You wanted to continue carrying on like a teenager. When you didn’t like what I had to say you went back to your old tricks. You did exactly what you wanted to do and shut me and your husband out of your life.”
“Well, thank goodness I did. Lord only knows what else you would have blabbed to Cole if I shared anything more.”
She pointed at me, “Listen, Cecelia. I’m sorry you’re angry with me. I love you to pieces, but really? What should I have done? What would you have done? Can you honestly say you would have handled things differently if the roles were reversed? Do you even understand the position you put me in? I’ve been keeping your secrets for months! I’ve been here for you every time you decided you wanted to talk. And when you decided to keep me in the dark, I never pushed or pried. It’s pathetic! You can’t look beyond your own reflection! Bryce isn’t a stranger to me. He is more then just my friend’s husband. Yes, he and Cole have been friends since they were little boys. He’s also been a big part of my life too, for a very long time. Don’t forget, I’ve known him far longer than I’ve known you, and I love him just as much as I love you. He’s been worried about you. He’s not stupid either. He knew something was wrong almost instantly. He’s been calling me for months trying to get me to tell him what was going on. Still, I didn’t say a word to him. I protected you and your secrets. When he couldn’t get any information from me, I guess he reached out to Cole as a last resort.”
Anna paused to wipe a tear away. “I can’t stand what’s happening. Bryce is one of the sweetest and most compassionate guys I have ever met in my entire life. He has always been there for us. When I had appendicitis Cole and his dad were out of town for a bachelor party. Violet was just an infant. I needed Connie to stay with her. It was Bryce who took me to the hospital. He kept in constant contact with my mother-in-law while I was in surgery. And when I came out of anestesia, he was right there at my side. He stayed there until Cole and Patrick got home from Vegas.”
I took a deep breath as I thought of all the wonderful things he has done for me and so many other people over the years. I sighed as a fresh wave of guilt washed over me. “I know. Bryce has a heart of gold.”
“You got that right,” she snarled. “I’m sure his heart is breaking into a million pieces right now. How could you have done this to him? Did you even think of him once? And what about your kids? Did you ever consider how your little afternoons of frivolous fun would affect Dylan and Donovan? Or was your mind solely focused between your legs?”
I reflectively crossed my legs tightly. “Of course I thought of them. I am not a monster, you know.”
Anna rolled her eyes, “Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
“Don’t judge me, Anna. You have no idea what I think, what I feel and, what I’ve experienced in my life.”
“Don’t you think that’s a part of the bigger problem?”
“I had this totally under control. Everything would have been fine if you and Cole stayed out of it!”
“Fine, Cecelia. If you need to place blame on someone beside yourself, go for it. Make me the villain. I’m fine with it. But do yourself a favor. Remember one thing. If you did such a great job of covering your tracks would Bryce have had to question Cole and me in the first place?”
I continued picking at my nail. “You’re right. I really shouldn’t blame you, Anna. I should be angry with myself. I should have known better. I should have realized there was no one I could trust. I should have learned my lesson a long time ago.” I clapped my hands together, “No, wait. There is one person I think I can trust. You know, it’s pretty ironic. I haven’t told her everything, of course. She has definitely been emotionally available to me whenever I did need someone to talk to, though. She’s given me advice and a shoulder to cry on. It must kill you, Anna. Somehow in a few short months, I managed to have a better relationship with your mother than you ever did.”
Anna turned as white as a ghost. I knew I was going too far being this cruel, but I couldn’t stop myself. I was so upset, I felt like a wild animal captured and caged. “It took how many years for you and Bea to actually have an unscheduled call?” I continued jabbing at her. “It’s ironic before she needed your help with the wedding, she never took any interest in your life or the lives of your kids. And yet, she has been here for me. Maybe instead of always playing the victim you should look at your own self and your own actions. Because really, the way you’ve handled this situation is despicable, you self-centered bitch.”
“Cecelia…”
“Anna, no. I’ve nothing to say to you.” I spat out. “I’m done.
From now on our relationship is strictly business.”
“If that is what you want, fine with me.” She began gathering some papers on her desk and placed them into a folder. “I’m actually relieved you feel this way. Now, I don’t have to worry about picking sides. I can freely support Bryce, you know, the actual victim here. It’s funny. I knew my mother and you have been talking. She told me. And I’ve got news for you, it doesn’t bother me one bit. I was actually glad you were able to open up to her. I figured maybe you’d learn a thing or two from her. I’d hoped you’d avoid making some of the mistakes she made. Oh well. It looks like you are on your way to becoming a cold and miserable woman, just like she always was. She pushed away everyone who cared about her, just like you did to Meri and are doing to me right now. The world isn’t all black and white, you know. Sometimes, while you may disagree with other’s actions, they may very well have had your best intentions at heart. Maybe for once if you gave someone else the benefit of the doubt you wouldn’t have to handle everything on your own.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I just stood up and started to walk out of her office and into the bathroom where I stood in the stall and cried for at least twenty minutes.
I didn’t say one word to Anna after our fight. I didn’t bother to wish her luck or tell her to have a good trip. In fact, I didn’t even bother to reply to her work emails. They weren’t pressing matters, anyway, so I figured I had time to answer everything after she was on the road. It was easier not having to see or talk to her.
I knew I went too far with her. And I felt horrible. Sure, Anna and I had fights before, what friends didn’t? She knew I tended to be stubborn, so in the past she was always the one to make peace quickly. Not this time.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
KEITH
“Seriously? Are you looking at your phone again?” my niece Jessie asked, irritated, as she shook her head from side to side. Her fiancé, Grant, just went for a run along the shoreline, so we were alone. As usual, the beach by my summer rental was pretty much deserted. “People say my generation is obsessed with technology, but you don’t see me glued to my phone now, do you?”
I smiled, and patted her on her head. “No, you have been very well behaved this afternoon, my dear.”
“I know,” she said rather dramatically. “And believe me, it hasn’t been easy. I so want to upload all the pictures I took to Instagram, but I’m waiting until Grant and I get back to the city to do it since I don’t want to be rude, you know. After all, I haven’t seen you in weeks, and I wanted to spend quality time with you.”
“Well, it’s not my fault you haven’t made it out here before now. How many times did I invite you over?” I pretended to count off days on my fingers. “You never had any time for your dear old uncle. You even missed my Fourth of July bash, which probably wasn’t a bad thing considering I did burn the burgers.”
She laughed; clearly her mother filled her in on my cooking debacle. How was I to know the grill had a searing station? The chopped sirloin didn’t stand a chance when I cranked that baby up to high. Thank goodness for sushi delivery!
“Seriously, I’m glad you managed to get your butt here. I won’t have the house much longer. I can’t believe how fast this summer has flown by.” I smirked as I remembered all the long afternoons I spent with Cecelia.
“I think this was the fastest summer ever. I feel bad. I really did want to come out sooner, but Grant and I have so much to do before the wedding. I didn’t realize planning it would be so much work,” she groaned.
“You know, you still have time change your mind?”
She sat up straight and took her sunglasses off as she stared at me. “Have you lost your mind? Are you crazy? Do you want my mother to kill you?”
“Whoa! Calm down, killer, I didn’t mean you shouldn’t marry Grant. I just meant maybe you two could just dash off somewhere exotic and have a nice quiet romantic wedding, you know, just the two of you.”
Jessie stretched her arms high above her head. “Oh, man. I would love that. Grant probably would too. But you know my mother. There’s not a shot in hell she’d go for it. Let’s face it, she is still pissed that she never got the chance to dance at your wedding.”
“I know. It kills her that I’m still a bachelor.”
“Yeah. She would have loved to have married you off and had the opportunity to babysit your little brats.”
“Hmm… You think? I would have thought after dealing with you and your sister, she would have had her fill of bratty children and would be relieved she didn’t have to deal with the drama of mine.”
“Nice, I know I was difficult, but look at me now. I am such a pleasure.”
“Whatever you say, Princess,” I replied absentmindedly.
“Stop it!” She yelled.
“What?” I reflectively jumped.
“This is ridiculous! You’re doing it again!” She held out her hand, “Give me your phone. Clearly, the only way you are going to pay any attention to me today is if I confiscate the gadget.”
I sighed.
She shook her head from side to side, but she didn’t move her arm. “I’m not joking Special K. Hand it over.”
“I can’t believe I am taking orders from the likes of you,” I said as I placed my phone in the palm her hand. “You are so your mother’s daughter.”
She placed it in her beach bag. She then stood up and moved her chair so her back was to the ocean. As she faced me she said, “Now that there are no more distractions you need to talk to me. What is going on?”
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t go sounding all innocent. You haven’t acted yourself since we showed up here. You’ve been really quiet. I don’t think you even said five words to Grant.”
“He was reading.”
“He started reading over an hour after we got here. What did you expect him to do? He kept trying to start conversations with you and you only gave him one-word answers, if you even bothered to answer him at all. You ignored most of what he said.”
“I did?”
“Yeah. You clearly were in another world. And the phone… I swear you must have looked at it a thousand times already. It’s super annoying. But it’s this,” she poked my forehead. “That tells me something is wrong. Your worry wrinkles are working overtime.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Whenever you are upset you crinkle up your forehead?”
I reflectively felt my head, “I do?”
“Yup. You do. So what’s the deal?”
“I don’t know.” I signed. I really wasn’t sure if I was comfortable confiding my feelings to my niece, even though I would bet everything I owned she was more knowledgeable about relationships than I would ever be.
“Don’t lie to me, Keith. Is it about Cecelia?”
I rubbed my face, “You’re good. Yeah. We’ve gotten really close again.”
She beamed. “Nice!”
“Yeah, I thought so. Now I’m not so sure. I haven’t seen or spoken to her in days.”
She put her hair into a ponytail. “What happened? Did you do something stupid?”
I shrugged my shoulders, “Probably, but I don’t know what. She came over on Tuesday afternoon. We had lunch, we hung out on the beach for a while, went for a long walk, and then we…”
She held up her hand, “Um, quit while you are ahead… yuck.” She stuck her tongue out, “I don’t need to know everything. I can read between the lines.”
“Oh,” I nodded. “Like I was saying, nothing unusual happened. We had a great time. She stayed later than she planned to. When she realized the time, she rushed out of the house. She texted me a few times while she was driving home and sent one last one when she pulled into her driveway. Then she went black.”
Jessie counted on her hands as she whispered the days of the week, “Five days. Have you spoken to her at all?”
“Barely, which totally isn’t like her. Most days she’d text me in the mor
ning right before she’d leave for work. She’s just stopped doing it. When I would text her, she always answered fairly quickly. For the past few days, if she manages to reply, it takes her hours. And then she only writes one-word answers or simply sends back an emoji. She hasn’t joked around with me once, either.”
“Maybe she’s been busy?”
“Yeah, I thought of that. I wasn’t too worried at first. We had plans to see each other on Friday like we have been doing for weeks. But then she cancelled, by text mind you. I tried calling her several times on Friday. She didn’t pick up any of the calls and she hasn’t bothered to call me back. When we first started hanging out again, I promised her I wouldn’t call her over the weekend. Do you think I should?”
“Hell, no!” She exclaimed. “She’s married with kids remember? If something is bothering her, you calling her when she is with her husband and children, sure isn’t going to help the situation.”
I took a sip of water. “I guess.”
“Speaking of her kids, have you met them yet?”
“Sort of. They were at the wedding, so I saw them. I didn’t interact with them at all, though.”
“What about after? With all the time you spent with her did you suggest her ever bringing them over here to the beach?”
Plan Cee (Secrets, Lies, and Second Chances Book 2) Page 16