“I don’t know. They’d just arrived, according to the last message I got, and hadn’t seen the doc yet. The lines out here are sporadic at best these days, so messages can be few and far between.”
Whatever was wrong, it certainly had to be more than a common cold if they went all the way to Santa Fe. “Are Skylar and Wade out there with them?” Beth’s sister and her husband must be just as worried. She knew how close the family was and how much they cared about each other.
“Skylar and little Cal—um, Colton—went with them. Wade was on one of his buying trips when all this happened, looking at horses. He’s going to meet them as soon as he can get there.”
“I should head on out there too. Don’t you think?”
He took a pocket watch from his vest and glanced at it. He shook his head. “Can’t. At least not by stage. The stage you rode in on will have already left and another stage isn’t scheduled to stop here for at least two weeks, maybe longer.” He stuffed the watch back into his pocket.
“Why so long?” Even though the town was small, Elk Valley had always been a regular stop for the Picket Stage Company, as well as various other stage lines in the area.
“Not enough demand for it anymore. The stage lines cut back on most of the runs and rerouted others. It was the only way for them to make a profit. It was either that or shut down completely.”
“Oh.” She’d wondered about being the only rider on the coach. Well, certainly plenty of other ways existed to get to Santa Fe. How hard could it be? “I can rent a wagon.”
“You’ve never been out that way before. You’ll get yourself lost and probably robbed. Or worse. It’s not a good idea for a woman to travel alone in the territory. Or have you already forgotten how uncivilized folks can be out here after living back in that big, sophisticated city?”
She frowned, not liking his tone of voice or his assumption that she wouldn’t be able to find her own way or protect yourself—even though he was probably right. “Then you take me.” She was ready, packed and eager to go. Joe knew the territory better than anyone and she’d be safe with him. Her fingers tightened around the handle of her bag.
“I’m needed more here than there right now. Wade wants me to keep a special watch on his herds until he gets back. He’s had problems with rustlers, like most of the ranchers around here. I’m also looking after Cal’s place.”
“The hands can manage, I’m sure.” Why was he being so pigheaded? The old Joe would have already been out there. Heck, he’d have gone with them to begin with. Nothing was more important than family and Joe considered them family. Or he used to.
“I have a responsibility to the town now too. Just wait for their next message before you uproot. If it’s not serious, they might be headed back before you would even arrive.”
Fine. She’d wait, but only because he had a point about them possibly missing each other if she just took off. If the situation ultimately did turn out to be serious and Joe didn’t want to take her to Santa Fe, she would find someone else to take her. Certainly some of her old friends still lived here and could help her out.
Without a word, she returned his stare, wondering if she’d ever really known this man at all. Or had she been the one who’d so greatly changed? He used to be the impulsive one and she’d always been more staid. Now… “When are you expecting another message?” she finally asked him.
He shrugged. “Skylar didn’t say. I’ll send a telegram, let them know you’re here and see what they want you to do.” He opened the top drawer of the desk. “I have the key to the clinic. You’ll be staying there, right?”
“Yes. I thought it best. I need to go through my father’s things and it’ll be easier that way.”
He nodded. “I am sorry about you losing your pa, Emma. He was a good man. He’s been sorely missed.”
She saw the sincerity in his eyes and it touched her heart. She looked away, hoping the tears she felt wouldn’t spill down her cheeks. All of a sudden, she realized just how weary she was. She needed to freshen up and a short nap would be welcome. And a warm, soothing bath.
He took out the key and then, after closing the drawer, he stepped around the desk to lift the bag from her hand.
Their fingers touched and she felt the same spark of attraction and need that she’d always felt between them. She looked up and his gaze locked with hers until she averted her eyes, afraid of what he might see there, afraid of what he might discover lying beyond her sadness.
Joe cleared his throat. “Come on. I’ll walk you over.”
Chapter Two
Joe strolled silently beside Emma as they headed toward the clinic. He walked so closely to her that he could have reached out and held her hand if he’d wanted. And he definitely wanted. But he didn’t dare.
He hadn’t expected his feelings to still be so strong for her, which made him question the choices he’d made since she’d moved East. After her father had passed away, he’d known that she would return to Elk Valley and he’d have to face her again. So when the telegrams came, he hadn’t been surprised and he’d thought that he was prepared for her arrival.
When she hadn’t shown up as scheduled, he’d felt a strange mixture of disappointment and relief. He’d felt relief, because his wounded heart wouldn’t be subjected to any more pain. With her father gone, he suspected she’d never return to Elk Valley permanently. He’d felt disappointment, because they’d shared a lot of special moments in the past—physically and emotionally—and he missed her.
After she’d left, he’d fantasized about her more than once while lying in bed at night. But she was just a memory and he’d accepted that. Not at first, but eventually. Or so he had thought. But now he knew otherwise. Seeing her standing in the jail had thrown him completely off balance and a mixture of emotions had churned up deep in his gut and been warring inside him ever since.
Emma’s presence brought back too many buried memories. Memories of stolen kisses in her room, intimate touches out at Wade’s ranch and thoughts of a future together. But the pain of getting his heart ripped out when she’d left was most prominent in his mind.
Even with the memory of that pain though, and seeing how much she’d changed, he realized a disturbing truth. He still wanted her, all of her. He made a low sound under his breath.
She glanced up at him and he cleared his throat. He wondered if she could possibly still want him too, even if only a little. His heart jumped and then started to beat faster at the thought.
At one time, they’d been a good match—comfortable with each other, despite their different backgrounds. The physical attraction between them had always been strong. He caught a whiff of her special scent and inhaled deeply. Honeysuckle. His favorite. Had she worn the fragrance on purpose, especially for him?
Stop thinking like some moon-eyed youngster.
Too much time had passed for them to return to what they had before. Besides, any respect or tender feelings Emma had ever held for him had surely been destroyed after what she’d witnessed in the jail. He felt like an ass, getting caught with his pants down.
Actually, her finding him with Cora was probably for the best in the long run. Emma was just here to settle her father’s affairs. She had no reason to stay beyond that. She was a doctor, or close to it. Smart, determined, independent. She didn’t need anyone anymore. Certainly not him. Now neither of them would be expecting anything more of this visit than its true purpose.
Even knowing that though, he had a hard time keeping his thoughts and his eyes off her. She looked different. Sophisticated. Way too sophisticated for the likes of him, which made him uneasy. He’d felt less nervous around the old Emma—the sweet girl who had always seemed a little shy. This woman beside him, well, she seemed so self-assured that he wasn’t sure how to act around her. Or even how to talk to her. The tension between them was unmistakable and so palpable that he wouldn’t be surprised if passersby could even feel it.
Her thick black hair piled just so atop her head
made him want to plunge his fingers in the tresses, pull down the soft-looking strands and see how long her silky locks had gotten. Her dark-green dress was fancier than anything he’d ever seen her wear, certainly more elegant than anything available here in Elk Valley. He wanted to strip her naked of those fancy clothes and—
“Hey, Joe,” a man called from across the road. “Willie’s out cold in my corral again.”
Joe stopped in mid-stride. Grumbling, he looked down at his boots and shook his head. After taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, he looked back up. “Dump her in a cell, Charlie. I’ll talk to her later.”
“Not likely. That’s your job and you best see to it.”
He frowned. He didn’t have time for Willie’s foolishness today. “If you’re afraid to touch her, then let her be for now.”
“She’s in my way!”
“I’ll be over there when I can.” He started forward again. Emma kept in step beside him and didn’t say anything, but he could feel her eyes on him and her curiosity.
“Willie?” she finally asked. “A woman?”
“Yeah. New in town.”
“Is she a problem?”
“Willie has issues.” That was all he said and he hoped Emma wouldn’t push for more. He hadn’t even gotten Willie straight in his own head yet. Nor had he figured out how to truly help her. Any explanations he tried to give Emma concerning her would be met with more questions than he had answers for. “We’re here,” he announced gruffly.
“Yes. I can see that.”
As if she wouldn’t recognize the clinic where she had lived most of her life. Now he sounded stupid. She had him all out of sorts. He unlocked the door and pushed it open.
She entered ahead of him. From the stoop, he heard her sigh then her breath seemed to hitch. He prayed she wouldn’t start crying. She had every right to but he didn’t think he’d be able to handle tears. Not hers. Not now. He stepped inside and set her bag on the floor. He was surprised she only had the one. She must be planning a very short stay indeed.
Emma moved slowly around the front office, touching items here and there. She stepped in front of her father’s desk and lightly fingered the black doctor’s bag someone had placed directly in the center. She fiddled with the clasp but didn’t open it. “I need to go to the cemetery.”
“He’s not there, Emma.”
She turned toward him. A questioning look filled her eyes.
“He’s out on Wade’s ranch, on the old Davenport section up on the hill, next to Skylar’s and Beth’s mother. Beth insisted he be buried there instead of in the town cemetery. She considered him family.”
Emma nodded and the look in her eyes softened. “That was very generous. I want to go see him.” Her breath hitched again. “To say goodbye.”
“I’ll take you later, after I’m done with my afternoon rounds.” He’d stay by her side for as long as she needed him.
“Don’t bother yourself. I can take myself.”
“It’s no bother.”
“I’ll take myself, Joe. I’ll go tomorrow after I’m rested. I haven’t forgotten the way. Yet. I saw my father’s buggy outside. I’ll take that.”
He stiffened at her response. A surge of disappointment hit him that she didn’t want, or need, him to go with her. Then he silently chastised himself for caring. He was letting her get to him again and she’d barely been here an hour. “The blacksmith Charlie—the man who spoke to me earlier—has your father’s horse. Just tell him who you are.”
“I’ll do that. You’re going to telegraph Santa Fe?”
“I said I would.” Despite her independent-sounding words, she looked very vulnerable right now. Still, he saw a strong will underneath that vulnerability. And a determination to keep him at arm’s length. To do everything herself. Well, if that’s what she truly wanted—
“You can go ahead now. We’re done.” She waved him off with a flip of her hand.
Go ahead now? He felt dismissed like some servant. He didn’t like that feeling. Not one bit. If she didn’t need him anymore, that was one thing, but to talk to him as if he had never meant anything to her, as if he were just someone taking up her time…
He started to snap back a reply, but she cocked an eyebrow at him, and he thought better of it. She wanted him gone. Fine. He’d leave her to do whatever the hell she wanted. He turned on his heel, stomped out and slammed the door behind him.
The rattle of the door sent a wave of relief through Emma. She collapsed against her father’s desk and tears flowed down her cheeks. She’d barely been able to control her emotions. She hadn’t wanted to cry in front of Joe and have him witness her weakness.
A twinge of guilt tugged at her. She hadn’t really meant to sound so superior or short with him. Well, maybe she did want to hurt him a little after finding him with that other woman. If that was petty, so be it. But the last thing she needed was to start leaning on him, for she’d be leaving soon. If she let him back into her heart, she might end up more torn up inside than she already was.
With a sigh, she wiped away her tears. Tears weren’t going to change anything or make it better. “Get yourself together,” she whispered, and with new resolve, she turned and walked over to her bag.
As she bent to grab it, she looked out the window and saw Joe standing across the street, staring back at the clinic, with his arms crossed over his chest. She wondered at his thoughts then decided better of it.
If she thought too much about Joe, about the uncertain feelings for him that she was trying to purge from her heart, she might run out and throw herself right into those strong arms of his, despite finding him half naked with a saloon girl. Did that make her completely pathetic? Somehow she thought it did. Or should.
Confused and depressed, she hefted her bag and headed for the stairs. With each step, the weight on her shoulders felt heavier. As soon as she saw her room, with some of the things she’d left behind, she’d feel more comfortable. More at home. Maybe even enough to stay longer than planned? She would have to contemplate that.
* * * * *
Joe stalked over to the telegraph office. Conflicting thoughts and emotions swirled in his head. He hadn’t felt this confused in years and it aggravated him.
In the time she’d been gone, Emma had turned into one proper, Eastern lady. With an uppity attitude to match.
He should have just grabbed her and kissed her senseless, seen if the spark between them was real. As it used to be. When their fingers had touched in the office, he’d felt something and he’d thought that she had too. But after what happened at the clinic, he wasn’t so certain.
Just as well. Not that he wasn’t interested anymore, but he could keep his interest strictly physical, not emotional now. He would enjoy teasing and tempting her to see just how far he could get. Then when the time came, he’d send her on her way, with no regrets. Maybe that attitude was a little cold on his part. But he was determined to protect his heart this time around.
He could avoid her completely if he really wanted to cut her out of his thoughts altogether, but he craved a taste of her. And he did not intend to deprive himself of that particular pleasure.
When the woman in front of him moved aside, Joe stepped up to the telegraph window. “Hey, Marge. I need to send a telegram to Skylar in Santa Fe.”
“Where’s she staying at?”
“I don’t exactly know. The mission there was going to find accommodations for the family.”
“Good enough. I’ll send that information along with the message. They’ll find her. What do you want to say?”
He didn’t write anything down. He simply told her what he wanted in the message. After he finished and she began sending the telegram, his thoughts settled back on Emma.
If Beth did want Emma to come to Santa Fe, he would take her. There was no way he’d trust her safety in anyone else’s hands. He would just have to deputize someone to stand in for him while they were gone. If he could find someone willing.
/> When he’d first taken the job as sheriff, he’d worried about his reputation, thinking some up-and-coming guns might show and challenge him. To try to best Kid Joe. Make a name for themselves. Kid Joe. He chuckled. He was far from a kid now. But no gunfighters had appeared. Just rustlers, robbers and the usual rejects.
And Willie. He wasn’t sure how he felt about her. All he knew was that Willie was trouble.
He puffed out a heavy breath. Sometimes his life seemed like a bad hand of poker that he couldn’t even bluff his way through. He should be used to dealing with problems and making the best out of them by now but it never seemed to get any easier.
Marge looked up. “All done. I’ll let you know as soon as a reply comes in. If it takes too long, I’ll send another until I know for certain that the message was received.”
“Thanks, Marge. I appreciate that.”
“Give my best to Emma. It’s such a shame about her pa. But it’ll be nice to have that girl back in town for a spell, where she belongs.”
He nodded. He definitely intended to give Emma his best. He glanced toward the blacksmith’s shop and felt a surge of frustration fill him. He’d better attend to business.
* * * * *
Emma looked at the cornflower-blue robe hanging on a nail on the back of her bedroom door. Exactly where she’d hung it after her bath almost two years ago. She’d forgotten to pack it before she’d left town. She reached out, but then pulled her hand back at the dusty feel of it on her fingertips. The garment would have to be laundered before she could wear it again. She turned and pulled a clean robe out of her luggage.
She wondered how long it might be until they heard back from Santa Fe. It could be days or even weeks, depending on what was happening and the telegraph lines. She’d have to stay in town at least that long. Given the new stage company schedule, she might even be around longer than that, whether she wanted to be or not.
Wanton Desire Page 3