by J. R. Tate
“You seem lost in thought.” Steve joined him at ground level.
“That obvious, huh?” Ryan forced a laugh and looked at the sky. “I can’t thank you enough for helping me get my family back together.”
“You got me to safety as well. We make a great team.”
“We do. And unfortunately, I don’t think this is over.”
Steve nodded. “More weather on the way?”
“Or lack of. No humidity. No clouds. Right now, everyone should be rejoicing for a break. But here I am, thinking worst case scenario. You’re a farmer, you understand how detrimental it is to not have rain.”
“We’ve only gone a few hours without precipitation, Ryan. A little early to be predicting a drought, right?”
“You’re probably right.” Ryan laughed again and shook his hand. “Before all of this shit happened, I was making fun of Doomsday Donald on the local news. And here I am acting just like him now. Always making outrageous predictions long before there’s even a chance.”
Steve patted Ryan on the shoulder. “You’re a smart man, Ryan. I just hope you’re wrong about what you’re thinking.” He picked up a piece of plywood and threw it. “How’s that boy of yours doing?”
“He’s in surgery right now. They’re amputating his arm.” The emotions caught in Ryan’s throat and saying it out loud made warmth gather in the corners of his eyes.
“I’m sorry to hear that. Truly sorry. You busted your ass for him and I’m sure he knows that.”
Ryan blinked back the tears and looked away so Steve wouldn’t see them. “I hope so. I don’t know what to tell him when he wakes up and learns his arm is gone. What do you say to a child in that situation?”
Before Steve could answer, Cecilia opened the shelter door and said, “Ryan, they’re almost done.”
Ryan shook Steve’s hand. “Don’t be a stranger, Steve. There’s only a few of us left here. We gotta stick together.”
The other man nodded and Ryan went down the stairs, his palms sweaty as he wiped them on the front of his shirt. The doctor had moved the curtain to the side and was finishing up the bandage. The absence of Ty’s arm was a hard sight to take in. White gauze covered what was left. Ty was still fast asleep, oblivious to what had just happened.
“We amputated right above the elbow. He slept through the whole thing, and we are on top of managing the pain when he does wake up. We will try and keep him as comfortable as possible. He’ll be alarmed when he realizes what happened, which is why it is important that the first thing he sees is his parents. He should start waking up soon.”
“Thank you, doctor.” Cecilia held Ty’s hand and Ryan went to the other side of the bed. “He looks peaceful and his color looks like it is getting back to normal.” She smiled and it was genuine.
Ryan wished that his smile was just as genuine, but seeing Ty’s arm actually gone just made him feel worse. He’d never be able to play baseball again or throw a football. He wouldn’t be able to dive into the lake and swim right off of the boat. He was robbed of all of those childhood things because of the damn storms, and because Ryan had failed him as a father.
“What’s wrong, Ryan?” Cecilia fanned her fingers through Ty’s hair. “He’s going to be okay.”
“I know. I just...” Ryan couldn’t take his eyes off of the bandage. “Now’s not the time. I’m glad we are here together.” He didn’t want to take the attention off of Ty.
“Ty, we are here. Mommy and daddy are here for you. We’ll be right here when you wake up.”
His eyelids fluttered and opened for a second, but closed again. Ryan squatted beside the bed to get at eye level with him, clutching to the side of the bed for leverage.
“Ty, it’s Dad. You’re going to feel so much better.”
Ty opened his eyes again and looked at Ryan but it was like he couldn’t focus on him. Squinting, he moved his arm, still not fully understanding what was happening. He glanced at Cecilia and back to Ryan, confusion on his face as he tried to figure out where he was.
“Daddy? Mommy?”
“We’re right here, honey.” Cecilia reached for his hand again. “Are you okay?”
“Where am I?” He was groggy and Ryan’s heart skipped a beat when the child looked at the bandage. Was he fully comprehending that the arm was gone? If he did, he wasn’t saying anything.
“You’re in a storm shelter. You just had surgery.” Ryan had no clue how to go about this correctly. Did he need to be completely up front, or let Ty figure it out on his own?
“Are we at the house? Is grandpa here?”
Ty was confused – Ryan had just mentioned that they were in a storm shelter, so his memory wasn’t quite one hundred percent yet. “We aren’t at the house, but yes, Grandpa is here. Do you want to see him?” Cecilia motioned for Darryl to join them, and he stood at the foot of the bed. “Grandpa is here.”
Ty’s eyes lit up when he saw him. “Did we find all my toys and our horses?”
“No, Ty, we haven’t found them. But we’ll keep looking, okay?”
Ryan watched the interaction between his dad and his son. Their relationship was growing and that was a good thing. He had heard about people having phantom pains from missing limbs. Could Ty be experiencing that? Did he not even realize that his arm was gone? He nodded toward Cecilia, hoping she could read his mind.
Cecilia shook her head, getting the hint. They would hold off on saying anything. If they allowed Ty to mention it, maybe it wouldn’t be so dramatic. The three adults were relieved to see Ty awake. “Are you thirsty?”
“I’m good, Mommy.” He moved his arm again, looking at the bandage. “Is my arm inside of that cloth?”
Here came the moment of truth. It felt like Ryan had been punched in the gut and all of his oxygen had been knocked from his chest. He couldn’t cry in front of his son. He had to be strong.
“No, Ty, your arm isn’t inside that.” Ryan’s voice shook.
“Where is it?”
No one answered him immediately. The hustle of everything behind them was loud, but it was like everyone was moving in slow motion. Ryan gently caressed Ty’s face, holding back the emotion as best as he could.
When no one else broke the silence, he spoke up. “Ty, they had to…” He looked to Cecilia for help, but she was looking away, her face red and wet from tears. “You remember how you hurt your arm when the big tornado came through?”
The boy nodded. “Yeah. And my bone was sticking out.” He was still sleepy but seemed more energized than he had been before medical attention.
“You remember how bad it hurt?”
“Sometimes it did. Sometimes it just felt like it was asleep.”
“Well, Ty, the doctor was worried and had to fix you very fast.” Ryan paused, bracing himself for his son’s reaction. “Your arm is gone, Son. It’s not in the cloth.”
“Why?” Ty asked, his eyes wide.
“Because if they didn’t, it was going to make you sicker. You remember how you felt hot and kept running a fever? It was making you sick and we wanted you to feel better, okay? This was to help you. We don’t want you to hurt anymore.” Cecilia finally spoke up, clutching Ty’s hand.
“We love you, Son,” Ryan said, shocked at how well Ty seemed to be taking it.
Ty looked at the gauze again. “I’m really hungry. Can I have something to eat?”
Ryan laughed and some of the tension seemed to ease around them. The resilience of a five-year-old was amazing. It would hit him blindside one day, but right now, he hadn’t had a chance to comprehend everything. Ryan worried about when that day would come, but his mind was set on food, and the fact that his appetite was back justified their decision to amputate the arm. Ty was going to be okay. Losing an arm was a hell of a lot better than losing a life.
“Hey, nurse, can Ty have something to eat?” Ryan asked. “On second thought, we all could use something. I haven’t eaten since this morning.” His nervous stomach eased up and his smile actually felt rea
l. “We’ll actually get to eat together for the first time since all of this started.”
Cecilia kissed Ty’s forehead and stood beside Ryan. “Looks like sardines and crackers are what’s on the menu. Might as well be shrimp and lobster. I’m not complaining.” Ty got to choose between instant oatmeal or Vienna sausages, and he chose the oatmeal just like he had back at the cellar. It was simple and delicious, and even though it wasn’t much, when Ryan was finished, he felt like he had overeaten.
“We had a small victory today, Cecilia.”
“The small ones are the best kind,” she replied, pecking him on the lips. “You said it yourself – one step at a time.”
***
With no storms coming through for most of the day, Ryan and Cecilia felt comfortable enough to take a short walk on the ground-level. Ty was sleeping soundly and Darryl was staying by his bedside in case he woke up. It felt like ages since he had been alone with Cecilia and he needed fresh air. Being cooped up in the storm shelter made him feel like he was a caged zoo animal. His leg was stiff and he walked with a slight limp, but he refused to let it take him down. Putting weight on it probably wasn’t the best, but he needed the exercise.
They held hands as they circled around the lot where the church once stood. The evening air was hot and arid and the relative humidity felt like zero percent.
“Sorry we don’t have a better view,” Ryan said. “Hard to believe this is Harper Springs.”
“How long do you think it’ll take us to rebuild?”
It was a tough question and one that Ryan wasn’t sure how to answer. “You think we’ll ever have a chance to rebuild?”
“I have to believe something, Ryan. This all will eventually end, won’t it? This can’t be the way life is from now on.”
Ryan kicked a rock down the road and watched it roll until it hit a piece of debris. “I’m worried that the destruction spans farther than just Texas. Each geographical area has its own weather anomalies. Florida has hurricanes. Northern states have snow and blizzards. The west coast has earthquakes and mudslides. And then there’s Europe and Asia with tsunamis and things.”
Cecilia stopped walking and turned to face him, her mouth opening to say something but she stopped herself. Shaking her head, she pulled some of the hair out of her face and looked at the ground. “You really think it’s that bad?”
“I’m not sure. I just want to know why no one has come for us. You see outbreaks of tornadoes on TV all the time. We would’ve been supplied with rescue efforts long ago if this wasn’t playing out on a much larger scale than we can even imagine.” He took her hand again and kissed the back of it. “I don’t want to be negative, just realistic. We’re facing a new way of life.”
“So we’re just going to live in that storm shelter day after day, as tornadoes continue to pound away at the little that’s left until we completely run out of food and die? What the hell is the point? Why not just run out into an open field and let the damn twisters take us?” Tears streamed down her face and her voice shook.
Ryan hated seeing her like that. She was always positive and happy, which always balanced out his grumpiness. “I’m going to take care of you and Ty, I promise you that. I think the tornadoes might be done for now, anyway.”
“So why not rebuild? Why not get back to farming and get our food supply up? We have to try, don’t we?”
“Yes, we do. We’re not going to give up without a fight.” He didn’t have the heart to tell her about his drought concerns. If his prediction was correct, they wouldn’t have the water to get anything to grow, much less for them to drink. The rivers and lakes were over spillway now, but that would run out fast with no rain replenishing the reservoirs. They’d be forced to turn into nomads and seek a wetter location, risking whatever Mother Nature brought them along the way.
Cecilia took a deep breath and leaned into him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lose my cool. I just want to wake up in our bed, in our home, and get things back to normal. We’re in this looping nightmare that won’t stop.”
Ryan kissed her forehead and hugged her. “I was so scared I’d never see you again.”
“Me too.”
“We’re going to make a new normal. We’re going to find your parents and then we’ll start rebuilding. How’s that for a plan?” Ryan smiled and brushed some of her blond curls from her face.
“Sounds good to me. It’s something to look forward to.”
“Let’s head back to the shelter and check on Ty and my dad. We’ll feel better after a good night’s rest.”
Chapter Three
Ryan sat beside Ty’s bed for about an hour, watching the boy sleep. He had taken the loss of his arm better than they had anticipated but reality still hadn’t seemed to sink in. He was being weaned off of the pain medication and soon, he’d wake up and see that his arm really was gone. Cecilia joined him, fluffing her wet hair with a towel. She had a fresh pair of sweatpants and a clean t-shirt on, and she smelled like flowers.
“They have a camping shower set up in the far corner. There isn’t anyone in line right now if you want to get a sponge bath in.” Cecilia pointed toward it. It looked just like the showers they had used when they did primitive camping before Ty came along when they hiked almost every weekend.
“There’s enough water for that?” Ryan asked. A shower did sound good, but he couldn’t let go of the worry about the possibility of the dwindling water supply.
“Yeah. They got some from the river. It’s above capacity. It’ll be fine. They are limiting every one to ten minutes and are advising everyone to turn the valve off while they are lathering up. A shower will make you feel better. And your leg...” She looked down at his ripped jeans. “That wound needs to be cleaned.”
“Where’d they get the soap?”
“I guess from the clinic where the doctor kept his supplies in the basement. Stop with the questions and go get cleaned up.”
Ryan didn’t argue. He had an extra pair of jeans from when he collected items at Farmer Johnson’s house so he could discard the soiled pair he was wearing. Stepping inside the tarp, he stripped down and the water trickled over his skin. It was lukewarm but the temperature didn’t bother him. It was nice to get all of the dirt and mud out of his hair and the drain swirled with dark water from his soiled skin.
There were razors available and he shaved, his facial hair circling at his feet. He left some of it – it’d be good protection from the sun when he went back out in it, but trimming and shaping it made him feel better. Toweling off, he ran his fingers over the gash on his thigh. Steve had done a great job of sewing him up with the supplies available, and the nurse had done her best, but the wound looked bad. If Cecilia saw it, she’d freak out. It was red around the edges and sore to the touch, and a few of the stitches from Mrs. McElroy’s sewing kit had popped loose, which would explain the recent bleeding that caked on his dirty pair of pants.
He eased into the pair of jeans he had found at Farmer Johnson’s ranch. They fit him loose, which was a surprise. Farmer Johnson had always been much thinner than Ryan, which proved he wasn’t getting the nutrition he was needing. He couldn’t tell how much weight he had lost until he wore the other person’s clothing, and his reflection in the mirror across from the camp shower confirmed he had dropped at least fifteen pounds since everything had started. His dark beard was thinned out, making him only have a five o’clock shadow. It felt cool to trim it up, but it’d be grown out again in a few days, which would be helpful outside.
Looking to his left, Ryan spotted the table with toothbrushes and small tubes of toothpaste. Excitement coursed through him like he had just won a lottery scratch off from the gas station.
“Isn’t it great how the doctor donated this stuff? Storing it all in that basement at the clinic is paying off.” A woman who Ryan didn’t recognize broke his thoughts. “Go ahead and grab one for that boy of yours, too. I heard about his arm. That is so sad.”
Ryan picked up a tube of t
oothpaste – mint flavor and only a travel size, but he could make it go a long way. “You know, it’s funny,” Ryan said as he read the label. “Weeks ago, brushing our teeth was something we do automatically. We never thought that it was something we took for granted. And today, here I am, staring down at it like it’s gold. You’d think the doctor was a dentist with all of this.”
The woman laughed. “He keeps them in the exam rooms for mothers with small children when they come in for their well-checks. He had a surplus, so if you want to grab a few more, be my guest.”
Ryan took a few and slipped them in his pocket. “I’m Ryan Gibson.” He extended his hand and the woman shook it.
“Karen Thompson. I’m not from here. I guess I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
Ryan nodded. “Thank you, about my son.” He motioned toward Ty. “At least we’re all alive.”
“You got that right, Ryan. It was good to meet you, regardless of the circumstances.”
“Same to you.” He found a sink and brushed his teeth for over a minute, reapplying the toothpaste as the foam ran out, savoring the mint flavor on his tongue. He had to keep in mind that moderation was key, so he rinsed his mouth with water and added the oral hygiene supplies to their small arsenal of items.
“How did your leg look in the shower?” Cecilia asked as he rejoined her by Ty’s bedside.
“Not as bad as I thought,” Ryan lied, ducking eye contact with his wife.
“Which is why you’re still limping. Let me look at it. We have some alcohol in our first aid kit, and there’s a doctor here.”
“I’m fine. Focus on Ty.”
Cecilia shook her head. “Ty is asleep right now. He’s stable. What good are you going to be to us if you let it get infected? Besides, how did it happen? You never told me.”
Ryan didn’t want to talk about it. Cecilia was already worried enough about everything, and if he mentioned anything that happened on his journey to find her, she wouldn’t ever sleep again.