by J. R. Tate
“I’m sorry we didn’t get here quicker.”
“Don’t be silly, Ryan. You did what you could with what we have. Judging by how much time has passed, I’d say things are pretty bad up there, aren’t they?” She pointed upward to ground-level. “I’m really glad to hear that Cecilia and Ty are safe. And it’s good to see you. I wasn’t sure if y’all had made it or not.”
“We’re going to get y’all back to Harper Springs with us. No more being split up.” Ryan glanced over at his father who was shockingly quiet. He didn’t know Cecilia’s family well. “Doug is a good guy, Margaret. We’ll get this all figured out soon.”
“I trust you. Things will work out how they’re supposed to.” She forced a smile through her tears and diverted her attention back to Charlie.
Ryan hoped he was right. Doug would find insulin. Charlie would be revived. They’d all ride off into the sunset and things would get back to normal. In a perfect world that was all true. But they were living on a planet that was far from perfect. The only thing for certain was uncertainty.
Chapter Eighteen
Morning came and Doug hadn’t made it back yet. Ryan paced back and forth, unable to sit still as they waited. Margaret hadn’t left Charlie’s side the entire night, wiping him down with a cool rag, talking to him, and periodically he would open his eyes, mumble something incoherent, and fall right back into hibernation. Ryan didn’t want to call it coma – the word was too daunting to even think about.
Doug not showing up was good and bad. If he had found someone in town maybe they were rounding up a doctor to get to them. And even though Ryan began to trust Doug, a part of him still had doubts that the man was going to do what he said. He felt guilty even allowing that to cross his mind but he couldn’t help it. Standing around speculating on his whereabouts was driving him crazy and he had to get his mind on something else.
“Do you need anything, Margaret?” Ryan asked as he handed her a bottle of water. Even though they had been inside the cellar for the duration of the storms, they still seemed very stocked up or knew how to ration well. From Ryan’s previous conversations with Charlie, it wasn’t far-fetched that the man knew what he was talking about when it came to getting ready for something of this magnitude.
“I’m okay,” she replied, and Ryan knew she wasn’t telling the truth. She was exhausted, her eyelids heavy as she watched her husband continue to fall deeper into his sleep. He was still sweaty but his breathing had slowed tremendously and it was even harder to find his pulse.
“Ryan, what is it like out there? We only went as far as the driveway before we got nervous. How is it? Do I want to know?”
Ryan sat beside her and patted her leg. There was no reason not to be truthful with her. She’d find out soon enough that as far as they could see, the face of the earth had been wiped clean.
“There’s pretty much nothing left, Margaret. I haven’t found one home that was left untouched. There are looters and rabid animals. I’d say only about a quarter of Harper Springs survived, if that. And some of those survivors might not make it, either. Medically, we’re set back almost a century. And we’re running out of food.”
“We’ve still got a lot stocked up here. If we can figure out a way to get it back to Harper Springs, it could help some.” Margaret looked around the room, her weary eyes still full of hope. Even in the middle of her husband’s possible death, she was still willing to give and to help others. Ryan admired her for it.
“We’ll worry about that when the time comes. Right now, we’re going to get Charlie healthy, okay?”
“I know you’re trying to be positive, Ryan, but look at him.” She waved her arm over Charlie, biting her bottom lip as she tried to speak. “He’s not going to make it. I really am glad that you boys are trying to help but there is no coming back from this. I used his last testing strip just before y’all got here.” Her eyes widened in fear. Ryan didn’t need to know what his blood sugar was just from the scared expression on her face. “It was so high, Ryan. I’ve never seen it so out of control.”
Ryan wiped the cloth down Charlie’s face and worried when he didn’t get a response this time. The older man lay still, his pale skin so white that it didn’t even look like the same person he knew. His chest moved up and down, quicker, and then it stopped all together. Was this it? Was he dying? Ryan scooted back, hoping this was just a nightmare and he’d wake up next to the fire by the river. Margaret’s cries were too real to be a dream and she squeezed Charlie’s hand.
“Charlie?” She didn’t hold back her tears and buried her face in his chest. “Oh my God, Charlie! Hold on! They are getting you help!”
Ryan watched on, hoping he’d see Charlie sit up like everything was fine. But his chest didn’t rise and fall. His eyebrows didn’t arch when someone touched him. No sounds escaped from his throat. And the sweat had stopped. Dead men don’t sweat. Ryan had seen dead bodies working on the fire department. There was no mistaking that Charlie had passed on.
Mainly for the comfort of Margaret, Ryan checked his pulse in his neck, applying his index and middle finger. Unable to find anything, he double checked in Charlie’s wrist, confirming that there was loss of life. Charlie had been like a father to him, accepting him into the family the day he had asked permission to marry Cecilia. And now he lay dead on the dirt floor of a cellar because Mother Nature had gone insane.
“I’m so sorry, Margaret.”
He pulled her in for a tight hug, feeling the warmth of her tears soak through his shirt. She shivered under his arms as reality hit her blindside. Her husband was gone. His own body had forsaken him, unable to get his sugar levels under control. All because he ran out of medication. All because Ryan hadn’t gotten their fast enough. Another person dead because of him.
Tears stung the corners of his eyes and he continued to hold Margaret until she was ready to let go. Once she had, he went up the stairs to ground-level, needing to be alone. He couldn’t stare at Charlie lying there like some dead animal.
Walking toward the foundation of their former home, he kicked a dirt clod and watched it roll until it crumbled. Cecilia was going to take this hard. She had every right to blame him for allowing all of the problems to happen during their hike to Fox Lake. And he’d take every bit of the guilt and blame and wear it on his shoulders. The horses would’ve gotten them there days before they had and Charlie would’ve never fallen into a deep coma.
“I know what you’re thinking.”
Darryl’s voice broke Ryan’s trance and he glanced at his father. “I don’t think you do.”
“This isn’t your fault, Ryan.”
“We should’ve never taken this long to get here. I kept saying time was against us. And look what happened. Cecilia’s father is dead! Because we were too late!”
“Being diabetic in this situation was eventually going to do him in, anyway. I know that sounds harsh but do you really think the doctor in Harper Springs had an unlimited supply of the medication Charlie needed? It would have eventually ran out. We would’ve just prolonged his death a little longer!”
“We could’ve figured something out.” Ryan lowered his voice and looked down at the ground. “We could’ve tried.”
“We did. Doug went to town to get help. It’s not like we just gave up. You need to let yourself off the hook for this or it’s going to kill you, Ryan. Let yourself off the hook for everything you’re blaming yourself for. Doug’s brother. That man with the rabies. Charlie. I know it’s killing you inside. Not to mention Ty’s arm! That little boy is alive because of you.”
“And you, Dad. You have been a great help.”
“Let yourself off the hook, Ryan.”
Ryan heard the galloping of the horses in the distance. Standing on a hill to get a better vantage point, he saw Doug coming with two other horses tied behind him. Though he was too late, at least he came back, helping gain even more trust with Ryan.
“Well I’ll be damned! Where did you find the horses?”
Darryl asked as Doug approached, tossing him one of the ropes.
“There was a man in town with a few. It doesn’t like they fared as well as Harper Springs did. He let me borrow them if I promised to go back and get him when we head home.” He slipped off the side of the horse. He handed Ryan a syringe and some medicine. “This is all they had. It should be enough to get him well enough to get to Harper Springs.”
Ryan took it from him and slipped it in his bag. It’d be good to have just in case. “Thanks for your effort, Doug, but he died about thirty minutes ago.”
“Ah, hell! I missed it by that much? I tried to hurry but finding that insulin was damn near impossible. Still can’t believe we did.”
“It’s okay. There’s nothing else we can do about it.”
Doug took his hat off and ducked his head. “He still down there?”
“Yeah. So is Margaret. Figured we’d give her some time alone with him.” Ryan wiped the sweat from the back of his neck and studied the horses. “How many people you come across in town?”
“Just the man that gave me the horses. Surprised he trusts me so well. I suppose we better go get him. An extra hand ain’t such a bad thing. If there were more survivors around here, I’m not sure where they’re staying. I didn’t really have time to chit-chat with him.”
“Yeah, and we could use a wagon or something to haul the food left down in the cellar. We can’t just leave it behind. Maybe we’ll get lucky enough to find something.” Ryan patted one of the horses. “Horses are the new Chevy Silverado, it seems.”
“I’m sorry it took so long, Ryan.” Doug looked him in the eye, his sincerity a complete character change from the man he used to be. “It didn’t take long getting to town. It was actually finding someone and locating the insulin that slowed me down.”
“It’s okay, Doug. We don’t need to sit around and dissect what we could’ve been more efficient at. We do what we can with what we have and I appreciate you stepping up the way you did.” He needed to take his own advice. It was easier dishing it out to others. “Before we head back to Harper Springs, I want to have a small funeral. We can’t just leave him down there.” Ryan edged toward the cellar, dreading going down there with Margaret. She was a strong woman but the loss of a spouse could make the toughest person completely dismantle. “I’ll talk to her and make sure it’s okay. I’ll let you know when I’ll need help getting him up the stairs.”
***
Cecilia woke up, a sense of dread hitting her blindside. Grabbing her flashlight, she double checked to make sure that Ty was okay. He was sleeping soundly on the cot next to her. She had been sleeping so hard that she hadn’t realized that mostly everyone around her was up and awake, getting the day started.
Wiping her eyes, she blinked to clear her blurred vision and sat up. Something felt wrong. But what could it be? Was it woman’s intuition or was she overreacting because Ryan and his group hadn’t made it back yet? She raked her hands through her disheveled hair and pulled it back into a ponytail, yawning. Sleep was in short spurts and she had to chalk up her worry to the mounting tension and anticipation of all of her family reuniting for the first time since everything had happened.
“Hey, good morning, Cecilia.” Mindy approached her, her smile way out of character from what Cecilia had experienced from the newcomer to town. “A few of the guys went out early this morning and caught some fish from the river. They’re cooking them up if you and Ty would like a big breakfast.”
Fish for breakfast? Normally she would’ve cringed at the thought but it sure sounded better than a granola bar, the usual option they had. “Sure, yeah. Let me get Ty up and about and we’ll head up there. Thank you for letting us know.”
“They even made rolls with some of the flour we have stockpiled. Mighty delicious!” Mindy rubbed her stomach and licked her lips. “There’s a lot of food but I wouldn’t wait too long. Lots of hungry men begging for seconds.”
Cecilia woke up Ty and helped him brush his teeth and freshen up. It was still awkward for him having to learn to do everything with just one arm. He was adapting well but it was a challenge, especially when he’d ask questions. Ryan was always better at explaining things without complicating everything and opening the door for more questions. Cecilia tried to think up what he might say to Ty.
“You hungry?” Cecilia asked as she pulled his shirt over his head, ruffling his hair.
“Sort of.”
“We need to eat. Some of the guys made us breakfast and we don’t want to look rude, do we?”
“What did they make?” Ty’s eyes lit up. “Eggs and bacon? Breakfast burritos?”
Cecilia’s mouth watered. What she’d give for a bacon, egg, and cheese burrito from the local diner. Top it with their flavorful hot sauce and she’d be in heaven.
“No, honey, I don’t think it’s that, but it’ll still be better than that packaged oatmeal and granola bars we’ve had to eat every day.”
There was a good sized crowd around the fire where Chief Rayburn and Steve were busy cooking the fish. A few of the other men on the fire department were cleaning the other fish, which was more than Cecilia had expected.
“Good morning!” Steve waved at them and served them up a couple of plates. “The biscuits aren’t exactly like we’re used to. Didn’t have any butter, but they’re not bad. Baked them in an old dutch oven over the fire like the pioneers!”
Cecilia handed a plate to Ty and they sat on the curb. Fish for breakfast was a new one on her but it was food with protein, and it’d help energize them.
“Y’all must’ve started early. That’s a lot of fish.” She motioned her head toward the cleaning station.
“Yeah, a few of us couldn’t sleep so we figured we’d use our time wisely. They were biting pretty well off of the canned corn.”
“You figure we’ll be able to eat all of that before it goes bad? I’d hate to see us waste it.”
Steve popped a piece of biscuit in his mouth and squinted from the sun. “We’re salt curing it and we’re going to store it in Chief Rayburn’s cellar. He dug a hole out of one of the walls where it’ll stay out of the sun and be pretty cool. It’ll be away from air and the salt will help preserve it. Since all we can do right now is wait for the crops to grow, a few of us might go hunting later. Use the same concept of salt curing. Another guy even mentioned using sugar. I’ve never heard of that before.”
“Like sushi,” Cecilia replied, giggling. “I’m sure glad y’all know what you’re doing. I don’t even know where to begin when it comes to doing all of this without electricity. We are so spoiled with technology that it’s pretty much hindered us from doing anything without it.”
“It’s all trial and error. Might as well see what we can do. The time is going to pass, anyway.” Steve motioned Mindy over to them and she sat with them on the curb, none of them speaking for a few minutes as they scarfed the food down like they were at a five-star restaurant. “Still nothing from your husband?” Steve asked.
It took Cecilia’s appetite away and she set her plate down, looking off toward the horizon. The sky was orange and yellow, hinting at another blazing day with no precipitation to cool things down. Smoke lent a haze on everything, hinting that the wildfire they had spotted before was still burning somewhere north of Harper Springs.
“Their prolonged trip is really worrying me,” Cecilia said, regretting talking about it in front of Ty. The boy was very perceptive – he knew something wasn’t right.
“It could be anything, Cecilia. Conditions aren’t the best out there. They might be having to take the long route around that fire. There might be something going on at Fox Lake.”
“Like?”
Steve pondered for a second, finishing the last bite of his biscuit. “Maybe he’s helping those people. Gathering them up to come here. You know your husband better than anyone. If there is a way to help them, he’s going to do it.”
“I’m just scared something bad really happened and we’re never go
ing to know. At what point do we accept that they aren’t coming back?” Her voice shook and she hated thinking that way. “They were on horseback. Something is definitely wrong.”
Steve pulled her in for a hug. “We’re not at the point to say it’s too late yet. Don’t give up. We’re talking about Ryan and his dad. Do you know anyone more stubborn than they are?”
That made Cecilia laugh. The hug was comforting and when she looked down at Ty, he reached for her hand and held it. “You’re right about that, Steve.”
“Daddy is coming back, Mommy. I know he is. So is Grandpa!”
“There you go, Cecilia. Kids know these things. It’s all going to work out.”
There was so much to worry about. Ryan’s safety was front and center but she also had the concern of her parents on her mind. What if Ryan wasn’t able to find them and that is what was taking so long? They might not have made it. Her father wasn’t in the best of health.
Standing, she took Ty’s plate and thanked the men for their hard work. “Let’s go for a short walk. I need a change of scenery for a little bit.”
There was a bounce in Ty’s step and his simple smile made Cecilia feel better. She didn’t plan on going far – it was too dangerous to wander away from Harper Springs. A few laps around the garden area would be fine. Anything would be better than hanging out down in the shelter. The same gray walls all day long were driving her crazy.
Chapter Nineteen
Ryan sat beside Margaret for a few minutes, allowing her a little more time with Charlie. He didn’t want to rush her but he also didn’t want to wait much longer. With the fire spreading between Harper Springs and Fox Lake, they couldn’t sit still too long before they got trapped. They were already going to have to make a wide circle around it to make sure they didn’t fall into a situation like before.
“Would it be okay if we had a funeral for him?” Ryan broke the silence and Margaret didn’t look up, her tears dripping down the bridge of her nose.