NOT What I Was Expecting

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NOT What I Was Expecting Page 21

by Tallulah Anne Scott


  “Have you seen him around here before today?” Luke asked the girl. “I’m thinking he lives around here somewhere. Those are pretty short legs he’s got there, so I’m hoping he didn’t come too far.”

  “I’ve worked here for over a year. My friends and I hang out around here all the time, but I’ve never seen that little face before,” she assured us, pointing at the dog.

  “Well,” I began, feeling bad about what I was about to say. “I guess somebody will pick him up and give him a good home, if he really doesn’t belong to anyone.”

  “He’s got to belong to somebody,” Luke stated confidently. “I mean, look at him. Does he look like he’s missed any meals lately?”

  While the three of us stood there staring at the dog, I noticed he looked from me to Luke and back to me again. I never saw him cast a glance or even acknowledge the gift shop teen.

  “Maybe we should walk him back over to the first place we ran into him?” I suggested half-heartedly.

  “He’s not a puppy,” Luke interjected. “A dog his age probably knows how to get home to his dinner. We need to go put something else in your stomach before it has a chance to get upset with you.” Luke turned to the teenager as we started to leave and said, “You should take him home if you want. You could always put up fliers if you think someone’s looking for him.”

  “Oh, no,” she said as she shook her head and walked back into the gift shop. “He seems pretty interested in you two, so I think he’s made up his mind about who he’s going home with.”

  I glanced back over my shoulder as we walked away, heading toward beignets and coffee with chicory. The little guy just sat there and stared at us, but he didn’t follow.

  Luke saw me glance back, so he leaned down and said softly, “He’ll be fine. I don’t care what she said, my money is on that girl picking him up and taking him home with her.”

  We walked the rest of the way in silence and took in the sights, both surroundings and people. The street performers kept us entertained until we reached the Café.

  After we placed our order, we sat and talked quietly at one of the sidewalk tables while we waited for the fresh beignets to finish cooking.

  When the waiter arrived at our table with beignets and coffee, he unloaded our stuff silently until his tray was empty, then he announced, “Here’s your order and some extra napkins. Can I get you anything else? Maybe some water for your dog?”

  Luke and I both stopped doctoring our coffee and looked at the waiter. We followed the direction of his focus to the sidewalk under our table and found ourselves looking at the same Chihuahua that had been stalking us earlier.

  “Little dude,” Luke said as he reached down to pet our stalker. “Did we ask you to come with?” He scooped up the dog with one hand while he stirred his coffee with the other. “What’s your deal?” he asked eye to eye with the bug-eyed creature.

  The dog blinked slowly, thrust his head toward Luke’s face, and made a swimming motion with his paws. Luke, caught off guard, didn’t react in time and was slimed by a long, pink tongue covered in dog spit. Having learned from his mistake, Luke reassessed holding the Chihuahua so close to his face and lowered our stalker into his lap.

  “Yeah, water would be good,” Luke said to the waiter before he returned his attention to the dog. Once in Luke’s lap, the little guy made a half turn, gave a small jump, kicked all four feet out, landed on his side, and squeezed his eyes shut.

  “Uhm, nap time?” I asked, trying not to laugh, since Luke looked kind of confused as to what to do about his new admirer.

  “Oh, no, La Cucaracha! No nap time!” Although his words said he was throwing the dog out of his lap, his hand that wasn’t holding his coffee cup was petting the little golf-ball size head.

  “He’s had a rough day with all the sidewalk sitting and stealth stalking. I’m sure it must have exhausted him, trying to keep up with you without being seen. Let him rest,” I suggested.

  “Here,” Luke said, shoving the fawn blob into my lap before I knew what happened. “He can nap with his new mommy.”

  Now Luke was smiling. “Hey, that’s right. Your palm said you were about to get a bundle of joy, so there you go. He’s it.” Luke laughed, because apparently he cracked himself up. “This is great. She was talking about this.” Luke reached over, scratched the dog’s head, and asked, “Isn’t this an incredible break?”

  “I thought we agreed we didn’t believe that palm reading stuff anyway,” I pointed out. “So why do you care?”

  “Well, Fry did tell me you thought I was, uh, how can I put this gently. He said that you found me . . . ,” Luke paused to try to think of the word he wanted to use, and I took that opportunity to pounce.

  “Okay, hold it right there. First of all, you’re delusional, and we already knew that about Fry. Secondly, if you’re implying the Palm Lady’s prediction was the only obstacle keeping us from, uh, from whatever you were thinking is going to happen, you have not been paying attention. Do I need to remind you she’s so talented she knew every detail about our nonexistent wedding? So if you’re making any assumptions based on her predictions, I’d rethink that, Slick.”

  “So what are you saying, Maggie?” Luke asked, in a soft, sensuous voice that would have been completely unfair if he had ever been playing by the rules in the first place, which he had not. “Does that mean you no longer find me swoon-worthy?”

  “See, that is exactly what I’m talking about!” I responded, a little louder and a little more pitiful than I intended. “Fry completely misquoted what he thought he heard, so you have this misguided impression of what I said, and you are entirely wrong. What I said was that I thought you were trustworthy, not swoon-worthy, and I said it to CeCe which was overheard by Fry, so it was hearsay and totally inadmissible in a court of law. I’m sorry if that hurts your feelings, because I didn’t want to make you feel bad by saying you aren’t swoon-worthy, but then you had to go and tire me, and you aren’t a bad person, but you SO TIRE ME, and why are you smiling at me like that when I’m ranting at you? Did you even hear anything I just said?” I demanded.

  “Yeah, I’m listening,” Luke said casually before he took a drink of his coffee. After acknowledging the excellence of his coffee and chicory with a smile and a nod, he said, “You want to know the other thing Fry told me about you, besides the fact that you called me swoon-worthy, or trustworthy, or whatever you want to say. It doesn’t really matter at this point, since we’ve already established that you lie in the French Quarter, so I can’t believe anything you say anyway. The thing Fry told me to watch out for, though – and this is what he said is the sure fire way to tell if Maggie’s really interested in you or not. He said there’ll be some out of nowhere ranting that apparently her subconscious throws out there to keep her from getting closer to someone she really wants to get closer to anyway.” As Luke spoke, he leaned in near me so that by the time he was finished his face was only inches from my face.

  I knew I was probably supposed to be aggravated, but I wasn’t so much listening to what he was saying as I was looking into his eyes while he was saying it. They looked so peaceful, so inviting, and they must have contained some invisible magnet. I found that while he slowly leaned closer into the table, his voice seemed to be growing softer so I had to lean in closer to hear him. While that’s my story and I’ll repeat as many times as necessary, I didn’t catch anything he said because of his stupid eyes. I was paying enough attention to notice when he stopped speaking, but he didn’t seem to expect an answer, so I just sat there with the same idiot grin on my face I’d had for the entire time he was talking. As he and I stared into each other’s eyes, I was lulled into a nice, peaceful daydream by the silence until - KUA- KUA-KUA-KUA-GAKGAKGAK!!!

  The horrible noise came from nowhere and scared me so bad I thought I might need resuscitating. I squealed and bolted into the air, clearing the chair seat by about 6 inches. Since what goes up really does come down, I landed back where I started – on
my chair. My lap guest, the napping Chihuahua (who I suddenly realized was responsible for the earth shattering moose-call of a snore) was not so lucky. He went flying into the air along with my lap, but he detoured somewhere en route and was about to make an acrobatic landing with no net. Luckily, Luke managed to snag him in midflight and allowed him the opportunity to move on to Naptime Part 2 with all his body parts and internal organs where he liked them.

  Now where was I? Oh yeah. I wasn’t paying attention, because I was looking into his eyes. Enough of that already, because I was just going to complicate things. I needed to get a grip. I needed to back up, take a moment, regroup, and move the conversation to a topic that didn’t have anything to do with me. I looked down at the bug-eyed bud that Luke had placed back in my lap. Perfect.

  As we ate our beignets, I said, “Luke, you can’t seriously be thinking of taking this bundle of joy with us? Good save, by the way.” I tried to make the compliment as casual as possible. I felt I’d been complimenting him a lot. That was a bad idea. It was all true, but telling him was a bad idea.

  I continued whining about the dog, since I didn’t want to talk about anything else. Besides, I knew I didn’t exactly drive men wild when I whined, so I considered it my first line of birth control. “I mean, you said you didn’t believe in that palm reading stuff, so that means she was making it up as she went along, right?”

  “Here’s how I see it,” Luke said, placing one hand on the back of my chair and the other on the dog in my lap. To do this he had to lean toward me, which made my mouth water. Don’t know why. Don’t want to think about it.

  “She was making it up – probably,” he admitted. “However, who am I to say there aren’t gifted people who can see glimpses the rest of us can’t? Who are you to say she isn’t one of them? Who are we to say it’s impossible that you and I would have a blessed event together, and that this tiny, big-eared blob isn’t it?”

  He’d been slowly, steadily leaning in closer as he spoke, and when he stopped talking, his lips were about an inch and a half from mine.

  “Ah, excuse me,” our waiter interrupted, causing me to think – NO TIP FOR YOU. What was I thinking? He’d saved me from myself. Good waiter.

  “Here’s your dog’s water. Can I get you anything else?” He placed the paper bowl full of water on the ground.

  Luke, who sat back in his chair at the waiter’s interruption, reached for his wallet and said, “Just the check, please.”

  As the waiter handed Luke the check and waited while he pulled out some bills, I concentrated on returning my head to its upright position. It seemed to be stuck in the off-to-one-side, dreamy-looking tilt, and I wanted desperately to correct it before Luke looked at me.

  I took the opportunity to tell the waiter, “Your service was excellent.” I gave him a thumps up. “Really great. Thanks so much for everything. Thanks. Really.”

  Ah-ha, my head was now in the upright and locked position. I looked completely in control of my faculties just as Luke turned to me.

  “Hey, dude,” he said smiling at me, and lifting the Chihuahua out of my lap. “How about a drink?” Luke eased the dog down to the ground slowly, since that’s how he was waking up — slowly.

  “You are aware we can’t bring this dog with us, aren’t you?” I asked, hoping he would tell me we most certainly could bring the dog with us. I was feeling extremely guilty for nearly bouncing the poor thing off the sidewalk when he flew out of my lap.

  “Of course I am. We have enough going on at the moment, and I am with you 100% on the no dog thing,” Luke assured me. “We passed a shop on the way here that I’d really like to stop in if you’re up for it.”

  “Sure, that’s fine,” I assured him while I tried to hide my inner turmoil. I didn’t need a dog, but it broke my heart to think of walking away and leaving him. Oh, I was being ridiculous. Of course he had a home around here somewhere. “Now that I have something else in my stomach, I’m feeling much better. What are you shopping for?” I asked in an effort to keep my mind off what horrible people we were for leaving without the poor little Chihuahua.

  As we headed down the street, Luke looked over his should and said, “Be good, little dude.” Then he turned to me and in answer to my question, said, “I saw a grocery market down this way. I know we have groceries at home, but I thought we could grab some wine and cheese to take back with us. Of course, if you’re having any particular cravings, we can pick up something to take care of them as well.”

  I chose not to comment on his cravings remark, but chatted instead about the weather, architecture, and the area in general as we walked. Finally, I was ready to respond to his craving remark when I informed him, “Since you asked earlier, there is something I really need tonight.”

  “Yes?” he asked, leaning so close I could feel his breath on my hair.

  I stopped just as we were about to enter the market, turned to face him, and said, “Chocolate.”

  I’m not sure what he thought I was going to say, but it was obvious that wasn’t it.

  “Oh, okay. Sure,” he said recovering quickly. “Let’s see what they have in the chocolate family.”

  We walked in, and Luke grabbed one of the shopping carts as we entered. “We might find a few other things, so we should probably make it easy on ourselves,” he offered as an explanation.

  “I’m going to make a quick pass down the candy row, and I’ll meet you at the cheese, okay?” I suggested.

  “Deal,” Luke said and took off toward the produce.

  I studied the numerous sizes and varieties of chocolate before deciding on Ma somebody’s fudge. I scooted to the back of the market and scanned the dairy section in search of cheese.

  When I found it, I was surprised to see Luke just arriving from the opposite direction with something already in his basket.

  “What is that you have, Gourmet – what does it say?” I asked since I couldn’t see the other word.

  “Crackers,” Luke informed me. “I thought we might like some crackers with our cheese.”

  As I reached to drop my fudge into the basket, I saw there was a bag of dog food underneath Luke’s gourmet crackers.

  “What is that?” I asked as I pointed an accusing finger at the dog food.

  “Maggie,” Luke exclaimed, looking at me all shocked. “Why did you put that in the cart when we agreed we can’t bring a dog home with us right now?”

  “I, uh, huh?” I sputtered, unable to spit out the words I was thinking which were ‘it was you!’

  “I understand,” Luke went on to assure me. “I mean, I felt bad about leaving the little guy, too. But rational thinking leans toward him coming from a home in this area, so I’m sure he already has a family.”

  Luke selected a cheese, offered it for my approval, and with my nod, tossed it into our cart.

  “On the way to the wine let’s stop on the pet aisle and put this dog food back, okay?” Luke coaxed.

  “But you were the one – fine,” I concluded. It was just easier. Besides, the whole outing was to get his mind off the agonizing wait for information. I’d let him have his fun.

  When we got to the pet aisle, we walked along until we came to the brand that was riding in our cart. I stopped in front of it. Luke handed me the bag and said, “Looks like it goes right there. Will you please stick it back on the shelf?”

  As I tried to stand it with the others, it seemed the bag was a little tall for the shelf. I folded the top down, just as the others on the shelf were folded, and put it in place.

  When I turned to Luke, looking all proud of myself for my success, I saw that he had a suspicious grin on his face.

  “Maggie,” he began, “did you do that?”

  I looked at the cart where he was pointing and saw two pet dishes and a box of dog biscuits. I smiled at Luke but said nothing.

  “Fine. I give up. You win,” Luke made a point of throwing his hands up in the air before they landed on his hips. He stood there shaking his head for on
ly a moment before he retrieved the bag of food I had just inserted back onto the shelf so expertly. As he dropped the food in the cart, he looked at me and said, “It’s a good thing I find you so swoon-worthy, because you tire me. You know that, right?” He tossed a pack of beef chew sticks into the cart as he spoke. We added a few more items before we left the pet section (leash, harness, etc.).

  After we selected our wine and checked out, we agreed we would retrace our steps back to the Café to see if the Chihuahua was still hanging around. The plan turned out to be totally unnecessary.

  When we walked out of the market doorway, there sat little-head-big-ears.

  We simultaneously yelled, “Hey!” and his tiny tail started to wag. Luke reached down and scooped him up with one hand, shoved him into my arms as he said, “I’m holding the bundle of joy’s accessories, so you hold the bundle of joy.”

  “Sure, but bundle of joy is a really long name. What do you want to call him?” I asked, holding him up so we could see him grin at us showing his teeth.

  “I don’t know what we’re going to call him, but could you let him know his upkeep already cost us about 800 pesos, and he hasn’t even moved in yet.” When Luke made that statement, the dog’s ears twitched.

  “Did you see that?” I asked. “Say that last part again.”

  “What part?” Luke wanted to know. “You mean the part about the 800 pesos?”

  This time the little golf ball head sat at attention when the satellite ears twitched.

  “See!” I exclaimed. “I think he likes it when you say ‘pesos!’ Do you think he might understand Spanish?”

  “I don’t know, but we can call him Peso just to make sure he likes his name, if you want,” Luke suggested.

  “Do you like that, Peso?” I asked, looking into his jet black eyes. The mention of his new name caused him to shove his head against my chest and demand his God given right to cuddle.

  Who was I to disagree with God?

  CHAPTER 16

  We walked into the apartment with our purchases and Peso. I unhooked Peso from his leash and harness so he could check out his new crib. Luke took the wine and cheese stuff into the kitchen to unload. We decided I would monitor Peso’s progress during his inspection, so I followed him in and out of each room until he returned to the living room. Once he was making his second sweep, I sat on the floor in the living room and waited for him to decide it was time to give me the report on his findings.

 

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