‘I’m sorry. But the doorbell distracted me.’
‘If you are not in the mood, you can tell me, Kiyan, but don’t give lame excuses. Especially not now, when my mood is already fucked up.’
‘I’m not making lame excuses. You heard the doorbell too. Who rings the bell so many times, that too at this hour, and runs away?’
‘What are you talking about? I didn’t hear the bell ringing.’
Kiyan presumed Kashti was joking. But her expression told him she was not.
21
‘What are you saying? You didn’t hear the doorbell?’ Kiyan asked, freaked out.
‘I didn’t. Why would I lie to you?’ Kashti said, moving to one side of the bed and putting a pillow under her head.
‘That’s strange,’ Kiyan said and wondered, was it Anaysha? But why wouldn’t Kashti hear the doorbell?
‘I think we should just sleep,’ she said.
Kashti lay down, switching off the bedside lamp. Kiyan followed suit. When he was sure Kashti was asleep, he checked his phone and realized there was a message from an unknown number. He read the number and knew it was from Anaysha. He recollected Kashti had deleted her number. It read,
All good?
Tina committed suicide, Kiyan replied.
OMG. Is the reason for the suicide the obvious?
Yes.
Hmm. What do we do now?
I’ve no idea.
Did you get any more information from Kashti?
She doesn’t know the guy. Yet.
Let’s meet tomorrow. The same way we did. I will wait for you in an Ola cab near Tower A.
Okay. BTW, did you just ring the doorbell?
What? No. Why would I? What happened?
Nothing. See you tomorrow.
Kiyan deleted all the messages at once. He wondered at what a fool he had been to have broken up with Anaysha. He had always known she loved him, but hadn’t realized her love for him was so great and that she was so magnanimous that she would overlook the shit he had pulled. He felt both blessed and doomed—blessed because he had Anaysha and doomed because their separation was his doing.
The next day Kashti skipped school. She told Kiyan she would rest at home since she was feeling a bit sick.
‘When is your flight?’
‘It’s at 3 a.m. tomorrow morning. I thought it was 3 p.m. I goofed up.’
‘Doesn’t matter. So, I have to meet Natasha.’
‘Cyber Hub?’
‘Yes.’
‘Okay. I’ll be home. Come soon, hon.’
‘Of course. The moment I’m done.’
‘Don’t wear green. Wear the black T-shirt and blue jeans.’
Kiyan gave her a look, wondering when he would be rid of this controlling shit.
‘Sure.’
He doffed the green T-shirt and donned the black one along with the blue jeans. Once he was ready, Kashti sucked her cheeks in sexily and said, ‘Come here.’
Kiyan knew what happened when she sucked her cheeks in. As he came close, she gave him a quick smooch and then held him tight, biting him hard on the neck.
‘Ouch, was that necessary?’ he said.
Kashti smiled and said, ‘Absolutely.’ She took out her phone and posed with him for a selfie. She clicked it and showed it to Kiyan.
‘The sexiest couple, what say?’
Kiyan looked at the selfie. His hair was ruffled, she looked slightly dishevelled and the bed sheet in the background was all scrunched up.
‘Don’t you think the picture is a bit misleading?’ he asked
‘It only says we made out just now. What’s so wrong with that?’ Kashti said, and before Kiyan realized it, the picture was on their page on Facebook and Instagram with the tag ‘Doesn’t black suit him?’
Kiyan knew he couldn’t fight with her yet. He swallowed his anger and left. He went to Starbucks, gave his phone to Rahul and then waited for Anaysha by Tower A. She reached in a couple of minutes.
Kiyan got into the cab and gave the driver a nearby destination.
‘Hi.’
‘Hi. Anything yet?’
‘Nothing,’ Kiyan said and quickly told her how Kashti’s mother had called last night.
‘I was wondering if we could track down her parents’ phone numbers. Then we can cross-check if Tina really is dead or not.’
‘You mean she would have lied about it?’
‘Honestly, Kashti isn’t someone from whom I get good vibes. We may as well be safe rather than sorry.’
‘Hmm.’ Kiyan knew Anaysha had a valid point.
‘I’ll have to get it before she leaves for the US.’
‘She is leaving?’
‘Yes. She has a flight later tonight.’
Kiyan realized Anaysha was lost in thought.
‘What are you thinking?’
‘If I was in her place, I wouldn’t have ever left you, especially when I knew your ex was your next-door neighbour.’
‘More so if the girl is as possessive as Kashti,’ Kiyan added.
‘Exactly. I feel there is more to this.’
Kiyan was about to say something when he was interrupted by Anaysha’s phone ringing.
‘Yes Rahul. Oh, okay. We will be there soon,’ Anaysha said, sounding slightly panicked.
‘Kashti called thrice. Rahul didn’t pick up.’
‘Shit!’
He asked the driver to turn the car around.
‘I’ll drop you off before we enter Cyber Hub lest she notices us together,’ Kiyan said. Anaysha nodded.
He dropped off Anaysha and got down himself at some distance from Starbucks. He was careful to ensure Kashti wasn’t around. If he knew her well, then he was sure Kashti would be coming over to Starbucks any moment. He walked briskly towards the coffee shop. He was about to enter when he stopped. He couldn’t move. His jaw slowly dropped open. Tina Awasthi was standing at some distance from him. He could never mistake her for someone else. It was her. She looked exactly the same. He couldn’t breathe. Kiyan felt someone pull at his hand.
‘Where were you, Kiyan?’
Kiyan turned around to see Kashti. He mumbled, trying to find the right words.
‘What?’ Kashti asked impatiently.
Kiyan looked back but there was no sign of Tina. As he faced Kashti again, he noticed she was wearing the same dress he had seen Tina in seconds ago.
* * *
Anaysha’s Diary
Every time I meet Kiyan since I learnt about how Kashti has trapped him I ask myself why I’m even helping him. Why am I bothered? This is the same guy who dumped me because of Kashti, the same guy because of whom I was humiliated by my family, the guy who didn’t think twice before giving in to the advances of another girl after being supposedly invested in me emotionally for half a decade. It’s not only he who had options. I too had options. There were guys who hit on me in office, college friends who always liked me but never could confess. There were also times when I felt the urge to experience someone else other than Kiyan. The urge stemmed from curiosity to know if love feels different with different people or if it’s always the same and only our interpretation of it changes. The bottom line, however, is that I never gave in to this urge of mine because I never wanted to cheat on him. We are humans. We all have polygamous instincts. But because we are humans, shouldn’t we know how to control those instincts?
I kept thinking about me helping him, and I had no answer except for the fact that perhaps I still love him. I don’t know what he thought when I came forward to help him, but I felt both good and bad about it. Good because I was once again able to help the person I love, and bad because I know the guy I was doing it for didn’t live up to my expectations of him. Kiyan said he was trapped, but honestly, he himself walked into it. Kashti didn’t ask him to sleep with her. He was seduced. When a committed man or woman is seduced, it can either be natural vulnerability to be lured or because they don’t love their partner. And now, perhaps he is clinging to me because he wants
to get out of this mess. Am I thinking too much? I’m so confused. When you are in a relationship with someone, you create mini versions of yourself within you. I feel like I have a Kiyan loyalist as well as a Kiyan hater within me. The loyalist in me says Kiyan is innocent. He couldn’t resist the advances of a sexy girl like Kashti. Any guy would probably give in. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me. But at the same time, the hater in me shouts out that once a cheat, always a cheat. What’s the guarantee he won’t slip up if another girl comes along? I was sorted about my stand till Kiyan told me about the birth certificate. The loyalist told me we could still be together again if we could take care of Kashti. And the hater made me tell him that I would go away from his life once this situation is resolved. Oh God! Kiyan, why did you have to give in to Kashti? Why? On one hand, we keep pushing air into the balloon of love and on the other hand it only takes a tiny pin of lust to burst it all. Seriously?
I shouldn’t have asked Kiyan about Tina Awasthi. He told me he was honest with Tina about his relationship status. He told me that he told her he was committed and not interested. After that, if someone is mentally disturbed about it, then one can’t blame Kiyan for it. So, before Kashti, he did stand up as the man I thought he was. But with Kashti he turned to be a man I loathe. And now I’m confused which one I should be with or be without.
22
‘I asked you something,’ Kashti said.
Kiyan tried but couldn’t talk. He kept gaping at her dress.
‘What are you looking at?’
Kiyan remained rooted to the spot, staring.
‘Kiyan!’ Kashti shook him by the shoulder.
‘Nothing, nothing. I went to the loo. They don’t have one inside Starbucks here.’
‘Okay. And why didn’t you take my calls? Where’s your phone? It tells me it’s inside Starbucks.’
‘It is. I forgot it there. Let’s collect it first.’ Kiyan went in, avoiding eye contact with her. He was shocked at what he had just seen. Seen? How could he see a dead person? But he had. Was he hallucinating?
Kiyan walked to his seat and found another customer in it. Kashti was right behind him. He approached Rahul at the counter and said, ‘Excuse me, did you find a phone on that table? I forgot it there.’ He looked at Rahul knowingly, subtly signalling that he should play along.
‘Yes sir, I did. Here . . .’ He took it out from his pocket and gave it to Kiyan. As Kiyan took it, Kashti said, ‘Hold your hands out straight.’
‘What?’
‘Just lift your hand and hold it straight.’
Kiyan did so, fully aware that people were looking at him.
‘Why is your hand shaking?’ she asked.
‘What? I don’t know,’ Kiyan said, realizing it was the truth.
‘Are you all right?’
‘Let’s go home,’ he said.
‘Yeah, let’s go home. I was anyway missing you,’ Kashti said and booked a cab from her phone.
‘Done.’ She put her arm around his waist. Together they left Starbucks.
Kashti was looking straight ahead for the cab while Kiyan was looking around. A couple of minutes later when they reached Tower A, Kiyan noticed Anaysha. He felt uncomfortable and instantly loosened Kashti’s grip on his waist.
‘What happened?’ she asked.
‘Call the driver,’ he said.
‘Yeah, okay.’
As Kashti spoke to the cab driver to tell him where they were, Kiyan looked at Anaysha. He wanted to tell her what he had seen a few minutes ago. But how? He would have to wait till Kashti left India. Anaysha too noticed him but had to behave as if she hadn’t. She walked away.
Once home, Kashti preferred silence over words. They smoked hookah and listened to some slow songs in a dark room with curtains drawn. She had her head on his lap all the while. Kashti was lost in the songs, while Kiyan kept thinking of Tina. Even the shoes had been similar. How could that be possible? Some weird game is being played with me, Kiyan thought.
Kashti received a call. When she talked, he understood it was her parents on the other end. The thought that Tina wasn’t dead and the two sisters were in cahoots kept going round and round in his head and made the hair on his nape rise up. He knew he would have to get her parents’ number to confirm the news.
‘Okay, bye Mom.’ Kashti was done talking.
She kept the phone on her stomach and continued taking puffs from the hookah.
‘Do leave your parents’ number with me,’ Kiyan said, trying to be assertive but coming across as slightly unsure. Kashti looked up at him.
‘Are you going to ask them for my hand in marriage?’
That was an unnecessary joke, Kiyan thought, but cracked another, ‘I will soon.’
‘Are you mad? I’m not even 18. Let’s date for some years.’
‘Of course. But you will fly to the US later tonight. And I need to have a backup number to get in touch with you in case yours doesn’t work.’
‘Kiyan, I haven’t told them about you. So please don’t call without letting me know. I’ll tell them when the time is right.’
Very suspicious, Kiyan thought. Like you told me your real age when the time was right. Like I didn’t tell you I was committed even when the time was right.
‘As you say,’ he said.
‘Let me shower. I’m getting a headache.’
He watched her turn the music system off with the remote and amble to the bathroom. With her phone. Like always.
I’ll have to get her parents’ phone number before she leaves, Kiyan told himself, but before that I need to know her phone password.
‘Kashti . . .’ he called out. He heard the bathroom door unlock. She peeped out, ‘Yeah?’
It took him a second to look away from her bare shoulder to her face.
‘I wanted to check our Facebook page. You haven’t uploaded anything for a few hours now.’
‘I thought I would click a selfie when you see me off at the airport today.’
‘That’s sweet,’ Kiyan said and got up. He went to her.
‘Don’t look at me like that, Kiyan,’ she said. ‘You know it makes me wet.’
He smirked and said, ‘Give me your phone. I want to check our page.’
‘But you downloaded the app on your phone too, right?’
‘I did, but uninstalled it.’
‘Such a recluse you are,’ she said and turned to pick her phone up. Her supple, firm, bare butt was all Kiyan could notice. She turned towards him. She unlocked the phone and gave it to him.
‘Here,’ she said and waited for him. Kiyan couldn’t check the contact list in front of her, so he scrolled down the page casually and gave the phone back to her. She gave him a flying kiss and closed the door behind her.
Kiyan returned to the couch. He played the video that he had just made using his phone. He gave a sigh of accomplishment when he saw it. He had switched on his phone’s camera before going to the bathroom and held his phone is such a way that it captured the mirror image in the bathroom. With the mirror right opposite the bathroom door, Kashti’s password was reflected on it. Now he would be able to access her phone. All he had to do was to wait for her to sleep.
After lunch, when Kiyan asked her to take a nap since she had a late night flight, Kashti complied. Once he was sure she was asleep, he took her phone and quickly noted down her parents’ numbers. He wanted to call them right away but stopped himself. He saved the numbers on his phone. He checked her mother’s profile picture. It had all four of them, with the parents in the center, and Tina and Kashti standing on either side. Kiyan would have to ask someone else to call them up to confirm Tina’s death. Someone else only meant one person—Anaysha. He kept the phone back where it was.
In the evening, when Kashti was done packing, she came to him and said, ‘I don’t feel like going. I’ll miss you like anything.’ She sat down on his lap. Kiyan muted the football match he was watching. He looked at her and said, ‘I shall miss you too.’
She
smirked and said, ‘I know you won’t, but you lie so sexily that I can’t help but believe it.’ She kissed him. He kissed her back.
‘Promise me you won’t meet Anaysha,’ she said.
‘Anaysha? Anaysha who?’ he feigned.
‘I like that,’ she said and looked deep into his eyes. He knew what she had in mind whenever she did that.
‘Now?’ he asked.
‘Why not? Been some time since we did something kinky. Let me have you once my way before I fly off.’
Kiyan wanted to say no, but he didn’t want to offend her in any way. He stood up, picked her up in his arms and without breaking eye contact, took her to the bedroom. He threw her on the bed and was about to pin her hands above her when she stopped him.
‘No, sweetheart. It will happen my way.’ She got on top and pushed him down on the bed. She held his balls over his knickers and started gently squeezing them while kissing him all over his face. When she came to his lips, she rubbed her front against him, and taking both his hands, started sucking his fingers one by one.
‘I want to keep kissing you all my life,’ she said and smooched him, sucking his tongue rather roughly. She broke off the kiss, climbed off the bed to open the last drawer of the bedside table and took out one black bandana and a furry handcuff. Kiyan knew what his role was. Without wasting time, he stripped off his shorts and T-shirt.
‘The fact that you submit to me makes wet like nothing else,’ she said and handcuffed him. Then she put the bandana around his eyes. She put the tip of her right index finger on his forehead and traced it down his nose, chin, chest, abs and finally to his underwear. She caressed his massive hard-on over the underwear. And then with one pull, tugged it down. Kiyan’s lips parted. He was expecting to feel her soft lips and warm tongue on his dick, but instead felt a slap across his right cheek. He was about to say something when he heard someone say, ‘I hate you, Kiyan.’ It was Tina’s voice. Or was it Tina herself?
23
Kiyan thought he was hallucinating again. But the slap was real, he told himself. He was about to call out to Kashti when he felt her tongue lick his dick from the base up. I was imagining her voice, he concluded, relieved.
Black Suits You Page 14