She sat up, shoved the pillows into a pile behind her, then, taking the sheet with her, leaned against them. “You don’t understand, Nick. You just don’t.”
He sat beside her, not bothering with the sheet. “Baby, have you ever got a way with understatement.”
She shook her head—at his sarcasm, at the futility of this conversation, at her sadness. There was no way they would ever agree on this. In different ways, they were both hostages to the past. Neither could call the present their own.
“I’m waiting.”
Her brow furrowed. “For what?”
“For an explanation.”
“You and I have been over and over this subject, Nick. There’s no point in continuing, because there’s nothing more to be said. I’m not going to change my mind. I know that’s hard for you to accept, but you’re just going to have to.”
“You’re wrong. I don’t have to accept it. Besides, maybe, just maybe, with enough talking and explaining, you and I can come to an agreement.”
She would have smiled if she hadn’t felt so much like crying. “You mean, you think with enough talking, I’ll come around to your way of thinking.”
“That’s not what I said.”
“No, but it’s what you meant. Let’s face it, Nick. No explanation, no matter how compelling, will matter to you. To your way of thinking, nothing is more important than getting that gold stacked in the middle of downtown Uvalde before your grandfather dies.”
“You’re right. You’re absolutely right. But I’d just like to know, Tess. What reason do you have that could be more important than that?”
“Nothing that I could convince you of.” The sheet was angled across his groin, leaving everything else bare. Shadows from the lamplight fell across his flat stomach and lower. Memories of the ecstasy they’d just shared came flooding back to her and her heart began to pound.
“Try.” The word came out through bared teeth, and her mind snapped back to the subject at hand.
Her family had a tacit agreement that they never discussed their business with outsiders. However, in this case, if she’d thought it would do any good, she wouldn’t have hesitated to tell him. But she knew it wouldn’t help.
Nick would never be able to understand the deep-seated desire that had burned in her practically her whole life, the desire that went bone-marrow deep to prove to her father her worth. Using her father’s own method of measurement, she desperately wanted to prove she was worthy of owning her part of his company. But most of all, she wanted to prove to him that she was worthy of his love and had been all along.
Of course she knew he would never know if and when she fulfilled his requirements. After all, he was dead. But she would know, and it would make all the difference in the world to her.
Upset, restless, she held the sheet to her with one hand and pleated its edges with the other. “As I said before, I can’t convince you that I have a more compelling reason than you do. And to tell you the truth, you’re probably right in thinking your reason is more important than mine.”
“Then why-”
“Because I can’t stop the drilling, Nick. I just can’t, and don’t ask me again.” She slipped off the bed, taking the sheet with her. Wrapping it around herself toga style, she crossed to the French doors. The moist air felt cool on her warm skin. Absently she reached up and ran her fingers through her hair in an attempt to put some order to it. Earlier, the rain had given it a thorough soaking, but during their lovemaking it had dried and she couldn’t imagine how awful it must look. Not that it mattered. Nick would be leaving soon anyway.
She braced herself for what he would say next, but she heard nothing but the whisper of the gentle rain. She glanced at him over her shoulder. He was lying where she’d left him, obviously not at all self-conscious about his nakedness. Unfortunately she couldn’t say the same. A look was all it took for her body to begin to ache and her mouth to water for just one more taste of him. Quickly she turned away. “Aren’t you going to say anything else?”
“No.”
Curious, she glanced over her shoulder again. “Why?”
“You just told me to quit asking you to stop the drilling and that’s exactly what I intend to do.”
“Just like that?”
“Just like that.”
She could hardly believe that he’d finally agreed to drop the subject. In a way she felt lighter, knowing there would be no more arguments. Except…without the conflict, there would also be no more reason for him to seek her out.
Her gaze returned to the rain-drenched patio. “So what’s to become of the Águila? Do you think the storm did any damage to it?”
“I hope not. Despite all the fireworks, we really didn’t get the brunt of the storm. I’ll find out for sure tomorrow.”
She whirled. “What do you mean? You’re not going to dive again, are you?”
“Of course I am. I have to go where the ship is, and the ship is sitting on a scarp in relatively deep waters.”
Barely aware of what she was doing, she slowly walked toward him. “But I’ve just told you I’m not going to stop drilling. That means it’s way too dangerous for you or any of your men to continue to dive.”
“That’s probably true.”
“Oh, it’s definitely true. And knowing that, you’re still going to do it?”
He fixed her with a level gaze. “I don’t have a choice, Tess. That gold is too important for Grandpa, and because of his health, I don’t have a lot of time to waste.”
She sat on the edge of the bed. “I know all that. You made sure I did. But as much as he wants it, would he want you to risk your life getting it?”
“Not if he knew.”
“But he must have some idea.”
“No, and that’s the way it’s going to stay.”
“Wait a minute. Remember, I met him. His mind is still sharp. If he really thinks about it for a minute, he’ll figure it out.”
Nick shook his head. “When he’s pressed me for specifics, I’ve glossed over them and put heavy emphasis on the manned submersible.”
Her hand flew to her forehead. “Of course. How could I have been so stupid? I’d forgotten about submersibles and their robotics capabilities. At the depth you’re working, you’ll use one, won’t you?”
“Part of the time. I’ve managed to procure the use of a secondhand one, and it will certainly be of great help in bringing up the gold.”
He moved off the bed and slipped into his briefs, then his jeans. Her heart sank. He was getting ready to leave.
“Part of the time?”
“A great deal of the Águila was made out of wood. Some of the wood is already gone. But I want to try to preserve what’s left of the ship as best I can. And that means the work on the ship itself is too delicate to be left to anything robotic.”
“The gold is what’s important to you and your family. Why bother trying to preserve the ship?”
He gave her a half smile, but there was no humor in it. “I told you the other morning when we had breakfast out there.” He nodded to the terrace. “I’m a professor of archaeology. Granted, the ship is not as old as some of the ships they’ve found and excavated on the east coast, but nevertheless, every nail and plank of the Águila is important to me.”
“Nick, from what little I know about it, the current submersibles are very sophisticated. I’ve heard that robotics can give doctors the capability to operate on someone who’s in a hospital miles away.”
His eyebrows rose. “Does that sound like something you’d like done to you?”
“We’re talking about a ship here, Nick. Not a human body.”
“Everyone has to do things the way they feel is best.” He sat on the bed and pulled on his socks and shoes.
She felt sick to her stomach. “It never occurred to me that you’d continue to dive.”
“It’s simple, Tess. We all do what we have to do. Just as you have to continue drilling, I have to continue diving.” He rose
and made his way into the bathroom. He shut the door, but she could still hear water running and the flushing of the toilet.
When he came out, he looked freshly washed and much more dressed than she. She envied him both those things. He walked to the nightstand, where his watch lay. When had he taken it off?
She shifted on the bed so she could watch him. “Look, I know little or nothing about diving in the depths that you’re talking about, but I do know that it’s much more complicated and dangerous than scuba diving. I know you can’t breathe simple oxygen. It’s a mixture of something. And if the mixture is one little bit off, you’re in trouble. Plus, if you come up too fast—”
His nod cut her off. “That’s true.” Casually he walked to the French doors, where she’d been minutes before.
“And I’ve heard of something called rapture—rapture of the deep.”
“Nitrogen narcosis.”
“Whatever. But I hear you get this feeling of great wellbeing, like being on really good drugs. Except you die, because it’s almost certain you’ll do something stupid, not to mention that the nitrogen pumping into your system is poisoning you.”
He leaned an arm against the doorjamb. “Yeah, there’s that.”
“Damn it, Nick, are you hearing what I’m saying?”
Collected and composed, he turned to look at her. “Every single word.”
She came off the bed. “And you know the dangers that can come from my rig. That’s why you came to me in the first place.”
His brows arched. “Your point?”
“My point, damn you, is that you’ve got no right to risk your life like that.”
“It almost sounds as if you care.”
She had to force herself to wait several beats before she answered. An instant reply would guarantee that she would give away her feelings for him. “Of course I care. I’d have the same concern for anyone I know.”
He stood there, staring at her for what seemed an eternity. She could feel her pulse throb at the base of her neck and in the vein of her forehead. Had he guessed that she loved him?
“I’m sorry, Tess.”
The anger and roughness in his voice had disappeared. Without warning, he had switched gears. “Sorry?”
He gestured to the bed. “I never meant for it to happen. I…” He rolled his shoulders.
She’d never seen him awkward, not in gesture or in word. But she was seeing it now.
He shook his head. “I tried my damnedest to resist you. Two nights ago, at the house, we almost—”
“I know.” If she lived to be a hundred, she would probably never forget that moment when she’d made herself pull away from him.
“Just in case you have any doubts, stopping was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my life. And doing it took every ounce of control I had.”
She shook her head. “It was hard for me, too, but I—”
“I know what you were thinking. You were afraid that I was using sex to get you to agree with what I wanted.”
“I was thinking a lot of things.”
“It’s not true, Tess. It wasn’t then, and it’s not now.”
“It doesn’t matter what the reason was or is,” she said almost wearily. “Let’s face it, Nick. There have been too many emotions running between us. Sooner or later it was going to happen. And whether it happened two nights ago or tonight, it won’t change my mind about the drilling.”
“I know that. I’ve known that all along.” He ran an unsteady hand through his sun-streaked dark hair. “The thing is, Tess, from the first, I wanted you almost too much. I still want you…way too much.”
She could feel herself begin to tremble. “Is there such a thing as too much?”
“In our case, yeah, I think there just might be. Because if you take away the sex and leave only the subject of whether or not you’ll stop drilling, there’s no way both of us can win. Hell, we can’t even compromise.”
“I know.” She looked at her hands. “But if it helps, I feel the same way…about wanting you too much.”
“Yeah,” he said softly, his eyes darkening with heat. “It helps.”
Slowly he crossed to her. Automatically, naturally, she held out her arms to him. And as he took her back to bed, the sheet slowly slipped from her body.
When she awoke the next morning, she was alone.
Nine
Ron stuck his head around the door to her office. “Jill’s on line two.”
Tess almost groaned. She was already in a bad mood. She didn’t need a call from her sister to make it worse. She swore if Jill murmured one patronizing or gloating word about the fact that she’d already met the will’s requirements, she would hire a hit man to go after her. “Thanks, Ron.” She picked up the phone.
“Good morning, Jill. To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?” Her pleasant words didn’t come close to matching her tone.
“I heard you were in danger.”
Her mind went blank. “Danger?” She’d been too busy thinking about Nick and the night they’d spent together to consider much else.
“Oh, come on,” Jill said impatiently. “Don’t play dumb. You got yourself kidnapped so that Des would feel like he needed to go rescue you.”
“Oh, yeah, that. Well, it wasn’t exactly a kidnapping.”
“I heard it was.”
“I went willingly, but once I was there, I was kept there until the next day.” She swiveled her chair so she could look out the window at the Gulf. Nick was probably deep beneath the sea. She sent up a silent prayer that he was safe. On the other hand, she didn’t exactly wish him well, either. Damn him. At the very least, he could have left her a note. “It was one of those things that you kind of had to be there to understand.”
“Uh-huh. Well, this is what I understand. You got yourself into a situation that made Des feel he needed to step in and help you.”
She slowly smiled. “You sound upset. What’s the matter? Jealous that you didn’t come up with the idea first?”
“Frankly, yes.”
Tess chuckled. “Well, you don’t have to worry. I turned down Des’s offer of help.”
“So I heard. And I’ve got just one question. Why?”
“Because I was in no danger. And because I knew that, one way or another, I could get home by that afternoon.”
“Still, Tess. You passed up a golden opportunity to get Des all to yourself, and I don’t understand why, unless it was somehow part of your scheme.”
“I can’t explain it to you, Jill, but know this. I have no scheme to get Des, not yesterday, not today.”
For a couple of moments there was silence. Then, “It was that guy at your birthday party, wasn’t it? The one you danced with?”
“That’s the one.”
“He was interesting, all right, but, Tess…Des.”
She had no intention of telling Jill the truth, that she’d fallen so madly in love with Nick that now she could never marry another man, not even if that man did come with fifty percent of Baron International attached to him. But to lighten her mood, if only temporarily, she decided to give Jill a hard time. “Hey, did you ever think I might be using the old hard-to-get ruse on Des?”
“Are you?”
“Sorry. My methods are top secret. But I will say that Des was very worried about me. In fact, he told me some things that he’s never said to me before. Things about the way he feels about me. Really lovely things.” It was all true, though not in the ways she was implying. It was also guaranteed to put Jill into a tailspin.
“Bitch.”
She nearly laughed out loud. “Why, Jill—such language.”
“Never mind my language. You’ve got worse problems. Since it doesn’t look as if you’re going to be able to meet the will’s conditions by your deadline, you’re obviously pinning all your hopes on Des. But let me tell you something. I wouldn’t do that, if I were you. The game is far from over.”
“What can I say, Jill?” she asked, infusin
g her tone with brightness. “You’re absolutely right. Now, you have a really great day. Goodbye.”
She hung up the phone and dropped her face into her hands. The elation over getting the best of Jill had vanished even more quickly than she’d expected it to, and regret had rushed in to replace it. She shouldn’t have baited her sister like she had, but it was a habit of a lifetime, a habit encouraged by their father.
What would it be like to be as close to her sisters as Nick was to Kathie? After all, Jill and Kit were the only two people in the world who really understood the pressures under which they’d been raised—the pressure to measure up to their father’s standards, the pressure to constantly compete and best one another. Sharing their emotions and feelings with one another might lighten some of the load the three of them carried on their individual shoulders.
But would that even be possible? She tried to envision a situation that would allow harmony to exist among them, and couldn’t. Perhaps a few years down the road, if she and Kit were able to meet their father’s goal for them and were able to join Jill in an equal partnership in the company, they could forget about their stupid competition. But for that to happen, Des would have to marry someone other than Jill or Kit or Tess. And the three of them would have to let go of a lot of old habits, along with years of hurtful words and deeds.
Even then, she couldn’t envision them ever being as close as Kathie and Nick were. But would it be possible, she wondered, for them to find their way to at least some sort of amicable relationship?
It would be tough, no question about it. However, she’d once heard the longest journey began with one step. She swiveled her chair to her desk and placed her hand on the phone. If she called Jill back and apologized for baiting her, it might be a good first step.
The phone rang beneath her hand and she jumped.
“It’s Vega,” Ron called from the next room.
She let out a long, steadying breath, then picked up the phone. “Good morning, Jimmy. Give me some good news.”
The Barons of Texas: Tess Page 13