“Yeah.”
“Mm, good.” He kissed my shoulder. I never thought a kiss there could feel so intimate, but it did. He leaned over me, moving my other strap in the same way. He kissed that shoulder too.
He was still leaning over me, and I slipped a hand under his t-shirt. His skin felt warm.
He took it as an invitation to remove his shirt. I didn’t mind the view or the easier access. I ran my hands over the muscular planes of his chest while he watched me.
He smiled contentedly. “No one’s ever touched me with such care before.”
“Really?” I started tracing a pattern of my own across his chest.
“Really. And I like having your name on me.”
“That didn’t take long.”
“No, it didn’t.” His lips met mine gently.
“You have really good lips.”
“So do you.” He ran a finger over my bottom lip and then the top. It was another touch that sent a thrill through me unexpectedly. I loved how Jake touched all of me. “I still don’t know what my favorite part of you is.”
I continued exploring his chest. “I know what mine is. Well, there’s a tie.”
He moved to lie on his side. “What parts?”
“Your eyes and your hands.”
“Is there an explanation that goes along with that?” Adjusting the strap again, he kissed my shoulder before moving his lips in a line to my neck.
“Although, right now your lips might be winning.”
He laughed. “Why my eyes?”
“They’re so expressive. They tell me everything you’re thinking and feeling.” I reached out to stroke his cheek again. “At least, I think they do.”
“If they’re telling you how crazy I am about you and how much I want you, then you’re right.”
“They are.”
“Why my hands?” He ran a hand over my chest above my breasts, slowly edging closer to the top of my dress.
“They’re so strong, and they always know where they need to be.”
He chuckled. “I get the strong part, but I don’t know if my hands have a mind of their own.”
“Then I guess my favorite part of you, is just you.”
“That’s my answer for my favorite part. I can’t pick just one. I love your eyes.” He kissed my eyelid. I moaned. It felt incredible.
“I love your lips.” He kissed me gently. “I love your hair.” He ran his fingers through it again. “I love your neck.” He kissed it softly, moving down toward my chest.
“I love your breasts, but you have to expect that one.” He slipped two fingers right underneath the top of my dress so that they brushed against the skin exposed by my bra.
“I love your legs.” He used his other hand to run up one leg, and I hoped he wouldn’t stop at my knee. He didn’t.
“Your stomach.” He slipped his hand under my dress and stroked my stomach.
“I love your hands, especially when they’re on me.” He moved one of his hands so he could put my hand on his chest.
“I love every single part of you. It’s like you were tailor made to be mine.” He paused and a slight smile crossed his lips. “Although that makes me sound kind of possessive again, huh?”
“No. Just sweet.”
“Good.” The hand underneath my dress moved down to my panties. He slipped a finger underneath the elastic. “I need to see and touch every inch of you.”
“Out here?” I leaned up on my elbows to see over the side of the boat. We were surrounded by nothing but water and darkness. It was silent, with just a faint breeze further cooling down the evening.
“Who’s going to see?”
“People. You don’t own this bay.” It might have been quiet, but that could change at any moment.
“All right.” He moved away, and I felt his absence everywhere.
“Would this help?” He returned with another blanket and draped it over us.
“Yes, that helps.” I wanted the coverage as well as some warmth.
“Good.” He didn’t waste any time before pulling my dress over my head.
I reached out and unbuttoned his shorts.
“I’m glad to see you want to get into my pants as much as I want to get into yours.”
“I’m not wearing pants.”
“No, no you’re not.” He grinned. “So are my eyes, hands, and lips the only parts of me you like?” He shifted out of his shorts, and we were left just in our underwear.
“No. Not at all.”
“What other parts?” He kissed my neck again.
“I love your chest.” I reached to touch it. “Your hair, your arms. I love your arms, especially being in them.”
He moved to cradle me in his arms. “I’m pretty sure you belong there.”
“I’m more than pretty sure.”
He smiled. “I love this confidence, Em.”
“You bring out that side in me.”
“I’m glad.” He reached around and unclasped my bra. I wasn’t expecting it, nor was I expecting his mouth to claim my right breast so quickly. “Are there any other parts you like?”
“Can I just show you instead?”
“Showing is always an option.”
I reached into his boxer shorts, determined to show him the confidence we’d just discussed.
He groaned. “I’m glad you like that part.”
“Like my breasts, I think it was expected.”
“There’s nothing wrong with expected.” He grabbed my hand to move it away. “But I also want this to last.”
He moved his mouth to my left breast and let his hand glide down my stomach. He didn’t stop at my panties, pushing them off quickly. He moved his mouth. “Now I get to see all of you.” He ducked his head under the blanket.
I laughed. “It’s kind of dark, isn’t it?”
“I can see with more than my eyes.”
One of his hands slid between my legs, while he returned his lips to mine.
I pushed his lips away. “Jake Mathews, you’re going to be the end of me.”
“The only thing I’m the end of is your dating history. I’m the last one, because I’m never letting you go.”
“I don’t want you to.”
“It’s nice when two people can agree.”
I couldn’t respond. The only thing coming out of my mouth was a moan.
He looked me right in the eye. “I love you, Emily.”
The words surprised me. We’d talked about loving each other’s bodies, but this was different. Even surprised, I knew how to answer. “I love you, Jake.”
“Yeah? Good.” He reached for his shorts and pulled out his wallet. I let out a sigh of relief when I saw him going for a condom.
“I’m guessing you’re on birth control, but you can never be too safe, right?”
I nodded.
He smiled before positioning himself over me. “It looks like I didn’t have to wait too long.”
“Thank god.”
He laughed before doing exactly what he’d promised a few weeks before—reminding me of what I’d been missing.
I’d never experienced anything like it. We moved together perfectly as I watched the stars above us. I’d never get enough of Jake, and I hoped he’d never get enough of me.
Chapter Twenty
Jake
I didn’t miss alcohol when I was with Emily. I didn’t miss the taste, I didn’t miss the way it dulled my senses. I didn’t need it. Nothing tasted better than her, and the last thing I wanted was my senses dulled. I wanted to feel, see, and experience everything about her. And I don’t just mean with sex. The sex was great—incredible, but it was so much more than that. I had the team and my friends, but I lived for the time I got to spend with her and Noah. If I was being honest with myself, I was falling for him too.
“You have to let me take him trick or treating. You can’t deprive him of the joys of Halloween just because you have to work.” I took a bite of my pizza, enjoying our usual Sunday night
tradition. In the beginning, we only saw each other once or twice a week, but before long it became a whole weekend thing. We only had Friday night games, so I’d go back to her place afterward. I always stayed through Monday morning. I was right about my father loving Emily, so he had no issues with me getting in late those days. I owed my friends and family big time for driving me to Wilmington so often, but it was worth it. With my limited license, I could drive to work and school if I didn’t want to walk. At least I didn’t have to get Molly involved in that anymore.
“He’s not even two years old. He doesn’t know what trick or treating is.” Emily ate Noah’s crust. She refused to waste it.
“Okay, so I want to go trick or treating too.”
She laughed. “Now the truth comes out.”
“I won’t take him out long, just in my parents’ neighborhood.”
“It sounds great in theory, but by the time I get there Noah already needs to be in bed.”
“You can both stay over. Or if you want a break, just let me keep him for the night.”
“Where’s he going to sleep? He’s in a bed, but he needs a rail.”
I smiled. I’d been meaning to keep it a secret, but I decided to let the cat out of the bag. “I set up one of those toddler beds in my extra bedroom—you know the one that looks like a race car. I thought it might be nice if you guys could start staying over with me sometimes…” Staying at her place was fine, but I wanted her in my bed too.
“You set up a room for Noah?” Her eyes widened in surprise. I hoped it was the good kind.
“Yeah. I mean we’ve been together two months now, it makes sense.”
“You make it sound like two years.”
I didn’t like the way she avoided my eyes when she said it. “What’s that supposed to mean? Two months is a record for me.”
“Please tell me that’s a joke.”
“You know it isn’t. You know you’re the first girl I’ve been serious with.”
“Serious? You think we’re serious?”
“Aren’t we?”
She looked away again.
“Emily, answer me.”
She looked at Noah who was playing on the floor. She lowered her voice. “He’s getting attached to you.”
“And I’m getting attached to him. What’s the problem?” I wanted to stay calm, but I didn’t like where the conversation was heading.
“What happens when you decide you’re tired of us? When you decide you want a girlfriend without all of this?” She gestured to her and Noah with her hand.
“Is that what you’re worried about? That I’m going to suddenly wake up one day and break up with you?”
“It’s Noah I’m worried about. Maybe he’s spending too much time with you.” She got up from the table and started collecting our plates.
“Hey, Noah, can you give your mom and I a minute?” I knew we couldn’t leave him unsupervised but he’d be fine if we stepped into the kitchen.
She placed the dishes in the sink.
“He’s not spending too much time with me. You’re not either.” I braced myself on the counter behind me.
She crossed her arms. “How do you know that?”
“Because I can’t get enough of either of you, and no matter what you do, the damage is done. Noah and I like each other and that’s not going to change.”
“But what if you do get tired of us?” Once the tears started spilling down her face, I thought I was going to break in two.
“I can’t see the future, Emily, but I know that I’m not going anywhere. I love the man I am around you and Noah. I love the way you make me feel, and I love both of you. Why would I ever give that up?”
“Right now, we’re convenient.”
“Convenient?” I had to keep my anger reined in. If I got mad, Emily would get mad and it would be even worse.
“I don’t mean physically. Obviously, it’s hard to see each other. But be honest with yourself. Would you be with me if you had a car and could date other girls?”
“What?”
“I just mean, do you think it’s a coincidence that you finally decide to have a serious relationship when you can’t just pick up girls all the time?” She looked away again.
I grabbed her hand a little more roughly than I normally would, but she had to stop looking away. “No. It isn’t a coincidence. It’s because I finally met someone worth spending more time with. I don’t get it. What am I supposed to do to convince you that my feelings for you are real? Because if you have an answer, I’d really appreciate it right now.”
“I don’t know.” Her light tears turned into sobbing and I pulled her into my arms.
“What aren’t you telling me? This can’t be just because you’re afraid of me leaving.” I ran my hands over her back. I’d never seen her so upset before.
“I can’t talk about it now.” She didn’t need to say it was because of Noah.
“After he goes to bed?”
“Okay.”
To say the next few hours were torture is an understatement. Emily pulled it together enough to fool Noah, but I could tell she was breaking apart inside. All I wanted to do was make it better, but I understood she needed to keep some things from Noah.
Finally it was seven-thirty, and we put him to bed. I picked the book that night—Goodnight Construction Site.
“Again.” He pointed to the book once I closed it.
Emily shook her head. “No, baby. It’s bedtime.”
His bottom lip fell down, and he got that heartbreaking expression just before he started to wail.
“Come on, buddy. We’ll read it in the morning.” I pulled his blanket up.
“Sleep well, sweetheart.” Emily bent over and kissed his forehead.
I patted his legs through the blanket. “Night, buddy.”
He smiled. Just as we got ready to close the door, I remembered his night light. I was starting to get the whole bedtime routine thing down.
Emily changed into sweat pants to get more comfortable as I waited impatiently on the couch. I held open my arms as she came back into the room. “Come here.”
She went right into my arms and put her head on my chest.
I brushed her hair back from her face. “Are you ready to talk?”
“Yeah.” She didn’t pick up her head, and I was glad. If she wanted to be close, it meant the problem wasn’t me.
“I’m scared.”
“I can tell, but what are you scared of? You can’t be scared of me.”
“No, of course not.” She pressed the palm of her hand right over my heart. “I already told you a little bit about Tim.”
“Noah’s dad.”
“Yes.” She picked her head up and shifted away from me slightly. I didn’t like the distance between us, but maybe she needed it.
“I met him my senior year of high school. My friends and I went to a college party near the Ridgeview campus. He was older, and I thought he was everything I needed in a guy. I didn’t hook up with him that night or anything, but I gave him my number and he called the next day. I knew my parents would kill me for dating a guy in college, so I hid it from them. I dated Tim behind their back for months.” She paused like she was lost in thought.
“He made me feel good, special. I couldn’t believe he’d want to be with me when he could be with so many other girls. He pulled me out of my shell, got me to try new things. I knew he had anger issues, he’d get into fights a lot, but he was always so gentle with me. The one exception was when he broke my best guy friend’s nose because he drove me home from a party. I broke up with Tim for that, or I tried. I changed my mind when Tim broke down, telling me I was the only good thing in his life and that he needed me. I think I liked that. I wanted to be needed.”
Emily sounded so distant as she talked, like she was telling someone else’s story. I wondered if that was how it felt to her.
“He disappeared for a few days. When he suddenly reappeared, he told me he had to leave for basic traini
ng. That’s when I found out he’d gotten into some huge bar fight and instead of doing time, he had the option of enlisting in the Army. I thought we were over when he left, even though he insisted he wanted to make it work. I liked him a lot—maybe loved him, but I was okay with us moving apart. I just wanted to enjoy senior year, and the summer before starting nursing school. Things didn’t turn out that way.”
“That’s when you found out you were pregnant.” It was the first time I spoke. I knew what was coming.
“Yeah. I freaked out. How could I tell my parents about it when they didn’t even know I was dating anyone? After talking with my friends, I decided to write Tim a letter. I expected him to flip out. Instead, he came home from training with a ring. He acted like the pregnancy was the best news ever. It was like an answer to my prayers, I wasn’t going to be a single mom. The only catch was that Tim was stationed in Wilmington and we’d have to move.”
She stopped to take a drink of water. “We told my parents and, of course, they didn’t take it well. My dad told me I was making a huge mistake. He told me not to marry Tim. That I should stay home and let them help. I thought the best place for a baby was with both parents. My dad said Tim was trouble—but I didn’t listen.
“I started nursing school, and Tim was deployed to Afghanistan. Noah was born while he was away. A few months later, Tim was gone.” She wiped a tear off her face. I pulled her into my arms.
“I was devastated, but I knew I’d get through it. I had Mel, and Noah was a pretty easy baby. But then everything came crashing down. Out of nowhere, these guys showed up telling me that Tim owed them money. Lots of money. Even the death benefit from the Army couldn’t cover it.”
“What?” I stiffened. This was a part of the story I wasn’t expecting.
“I explained I didn’t know about the debts, but they made it clear that paying them was the best option.” She shivered. I wanted to kill the bastards for threatening her.
“I didn’t have the money. I had virtually no savings, and was already taking out loans for school and childcare. I turned to one of my brother’s friends that I knew could help. I knew this friend wouldn’t tell my parents. I refused to let my dad know he was right, and bringing Tim’s parents into it was out of the question. They would have blamed it on me.”
Wrecked (Clayton Falls) Page 13