This Time

by Rachel Hauck

  "He's being a real friend."

  Her heart fluttered at Meg's words, and she realized that the Lord's amazing grace was forming something beautiful out of the ashes of her past, just as Duke predicted.

  "Six weeks ago I never wanted to hear his name. Yesterday we worked the ranch side by side and had a picnic with Dad by the pond."

  "I'm gonna cry," Mary Beth said, waving one hand in front of her face, towel drying Belle's hair with the other.

  Mary Beth raked a comb through her wet hair, as Meg talked about the baby, but Belle's thoughts eventually wondered away from the small shoptalk and down a path toward Burke.

  She found comfort in the safety of just being friends. All the talk about Burke unveiled hidden feelings of love that demanded recognition. But the idea of falling in love with him again rattled her. She yielded to the idea of becoming friends, but romantic love still drifted away from the shore of her heart.

  Besides, Burke's intentions toward her were purely platonic. He reveled in her friendship but seemed content to leave the love they once shared as a relic of the past.

  ***

  Dean handed Burke the last of the stereo wire and hopped off the ladder.

  "Thanks," Burke said, grateful to finally have his brother's help in rewiring the house for his new speakers. The movers had finally arrived with his belongings from Colorado, and the house felt more and more like his own.

  "No problem, little brother. You have the best stereo system in the whole county, maybe the whole state."

  Burke tossed the wire in his toolbox. "Just the way I like it. Powerful, crisp, beautiful sound."

  Dean plopped onto the couch and looked at Burke's pile of football playbooks. "You ready for the season?" he asked, motioning to the large stack of thin black notebooks.

  Burke hunted for a CD to pop into the player so he could test the speakers and the new wiring. "Getting there. I like Coach Anderson's approach, so I'm sticking with most of his plays this season. But, I've been spending my evenings working on a new offensive strategy. I want to move to a wide-open offense. Mrs. Tapper volunteered to make copies of the new playbooks."

  "Mrs. Tapper," Dean said, remembering. "She's been the school secretary since the Indians roamed the Oklahoma territory."

  "I'm glad to have her on my team," Burke said, finding the CD he wanted and slipping it into the player. He grabbed the remote and activated the stereo. Deep, distinct sounds charged the room.

  "You think we'll have a good season?" Dean asked.

  Burke flashed his brother a sideways smile. "Is there another choice?"

  Dean shook his dark curly head. "I guess not."

  "Close your eyes," Burke urged. "You can't tell what speaker the sound is coming from. It sounds like a live performance."

  Dean closed his eyes, nodding, agreeing with him about the stereo's quality sound. Eyes still closed, he asked, "How are things with you and Belle? Is your relationship moving along."

  Burke frowned at the question. "Dean, for crying out loud, you were the one telling me to take it slow. 'Don't expect too much.' 'What'd you think? She'd welcome you with open arms?'"

  "That was weeks ago," Dean said, opening his eyes and tossing up his hands, a comedic reverb in his words.

  Burke laughed. "We're friends."

  "Nothing more?"

  "We're good friends, and I love her company, but right now, we're nothing more," Burke reiterated, kicking back on the sofa next to Dean, savoring the stringed music. "I still need to work things out with Grace. I've been praying a lot about our relationship, but I'm not ready to share what I think the Lord is saying yet."

  Dean nodded his understanding. "Thanks for the polite way of telling me it's none of my business."

  Burke chuckled and slapped his brother on the knee. "As soon as I figure this all out, I'll let you know."

  "I can live with that."

  "Don't forget, you're taking me to the airport day after tomorrow."

  "I won't."

  Burke handed Dean the stereo remote. "My agent's been hounding me to get this commercial shoot done and do a guest spot on the David Dubois show. And I need to tie up some loose ends in Denver."

  "Then you're home for good?" Dean asked, studying the remote's buttons.

  "Home for good."

  "And Belle?"

  Burke looked over at Dean. "What about Belle?"

  Dean chuckled. "Nothing, I guess. I'll be anxious to see how this one plays out."

  Burke sighed, a smile spreading across his face. "Me, too, me, too."

  Chapter Fifteen

  The first week of August, Belle and Burke drank cold sodas on the tailgate of her recently mended truck and watched the setting sun paint brilliant burnished hues across the Oklahoma sky. All around them the Brangus herd grazed in the newly fenced-in field.

  Little General snuggled against Burke, his brown puppy nose resting on the man's leg. Since his tornado rescue, the little dog's loyalty belonged to the former pro athlete. Rascal, Petie, and Jasper stretched out next to the truck, panting, their long pink tongues dangling over the side of their mouths. Scout and Junior were on guard at home, keeping Duke company.

  "I think God makes days like this just for me," Belle said with a contented sigh.

  "Hmm," Burke mused. "I always thought they were for me."

  She laughed low. "It's amazing how the Lord can make each one of us feel like we're His favorite."

  "It's beyond comprehension," he said. "But He does."

  "I like what Pastor Mike said on Sunday about the Lord being so good, and His mercy enduring forever."

  "I've been meditating on that verse," Burke admitted, reaching around her for the soda filled cooler. His tan, muscular arm brushed hers, causing her skin to tingle and her cheeks to blush.

  "I can't believe it's August already," she said, shifting away from him slightly, his touch unnerving her.

  "Me neither. We start two-a-day practices next week."

  She twisted around. "Next week? Already?"

  He nodded, dropping his hand over the side of the truck and giving the dogs a thick piece of ice to eat. "Our first game is the last week of the month. We've got a lot of work to do."

  A nagging disappointment rankled Belle's thoughts as she realized his days at the Bar J would end and become consumed with football. She'd grown used to his presence at the ranch and working side by side with him. Taking him up on his offer to help out at the ranch proved to be the best decision of the summer.

  Yet, he didn't belong to her. His intentions toward her were clearly those of a friend. Now she realized she'd unwittingly opened her heart to him again, and it made her a little angry. How could she risk another heartbreak? Taking a deep breath, she whispered a prayer.

  "You okay?" he asked, his words edged with concern. Little General nuzzled her hand with his nose, licking her fingers as if he, too, sensed something wrong.

  "I'm fine," she said, feigning control. "I appreciate your help this summer. I couldn't have done it without you."

  "I'm leaving tomorrow for L.A. and Denver," he said without preamble. "I have some unfinished business to take care of before the momentum of practice starts."

  What business? Grace? Belle clinched her jaw, fighting a flare of jealousy. "How long will you be gone?"

  "About a week. I have a commercial shoot and a guest spot on the David Dubois show next Thursday. You going to watch?"

  "Wow, the David Dubois show," she said, her tone hollow.

  What about Grace? He mentioned nothing about seeing her, but surely he would once he arrived on the west coast. How could he not? As far as she and the rest of the world knew, they were still an item, in love and heading for marriage.

  The idea made her heart sink.

  ***

  Burke could see Belle struggling. He fought the longing to take her in his arms and sooth away the doubt and fear.

  Yet, the Lord's instructions were clear. Wait. Wait.

  He knew he could not
stir feelings he could not answer.

  Lord, keep her heart, he prayed, watching the last of the sun dip behind the trees.

  Conversations with Grace over the summer had been long-distance and brief. The time change between Sydney and Haskell made it nearly impossible to keep in touch. Email helped, but Burke needed to see her face to face.

  "It's getting late," Belle said, whistling for the dogs to pile into the truck bed. Little General growled as they did, guarding his territory. She turned to Burke. He could see her expression, set and serious, in the twilight. "You know what I miss?" she asked.

  "What?" he asked softly.

  Belle hesitated as if she regretted starting the conversation. Finally, with a slight shrug, she said soft and unsure, "I suppose I miss being a part of the life that you're returning to tomorrow."

  "What do you mean?" he asked in a quiet, hushed tone.

  She continued. "I missed sitting in the stands with all the other player's wives, cheering for you when you scored the winning touch down that cinched the Super Bowl. You did do that, didn't you?"

  He dipped his head as he nodded, hearing the regret in her voice, the picture of all he'd robbed from her coming into full view. He'd not only broken her heart, but also stolen her part of the dreams they shared together and, without warning, changed the course of her life.

  "Sometimes I feel jealous that you lived such an exciting life with so many opportunities. A life I should have shared with you. Even though I'm content and happy here in Haskell, running the ranch with Daddy, there's a part of me that wonders how I would have been affected by your celebrity. What experiences did I miss out on? And you… I don't know anything about your friends, where you've been, what you've done."

  "Believe it or not, I dialed your number many times to invite you to a game or attend some benefit or function with me. But, I always hung up before the first ring."

  "What turned you into such a coward?" she asked, her remark a little acerbic.

  He answered immediately. "Fame."

  "Well, I'm sorry for that."

  He rested his arms on the bed of the truck and gazed into her eyes, lined with thick dark lashes. "I never imagined I'd taken so much from you."

  "Well, it's all history now." She hopped off the tailgate and started for the driver's side. "We'd better get home. Daddy will be looking for his evening snack."

  Burke slammed the gate shut and slipped into the passenger seat. "Belle, despite where I've been and what I've done, the Lord has seen fit to bring me home. Like I told you at the hospital the night Duke got hurt, the best is yet to come."

  She pushed in the clutch and started the engine. She shifted into first gear and slowly started the truck forward. "I'm sorry Burke, I didn't mean to stir up negative feelings about the past."

  "No, it's okay," he said, tenderly. "I want you to be able to talk to me."

  "Part of getting over pain and hurt doesn't always mean we have to talk about it. Sometimes it is wiser to keep our thoughts to ourselves. We forget how powerful words can be."

  "How'd you get to be so wise?" he asked.

  She rested her hands on the center of the steering wheel and stared out over the dash. "I don't know how wise I am, but I've spent a lot of time in prayer and reading the Word. That's the great thing that came out of you leaving me. I pursued the Lord with all I had."

  "Now, I'm jealous."

  "Funny," Belle started thoughtfully, "how we always see the greener grass on the other side of the fence." She pulled out of the pasture and onto the road.

  "I think Duke would like a tall chocolate shake from Charlie's. How 'bout it?" Burke said, wanting to end their last evening together for a while on a happier note.

  "Charlie's," she said. "That's a twenty-minute drive into town and back. It'll be an hour before we're home."

  He reached for his cellular and autodialed the Bar J. "Duke, shakes from Charlie's. What do you say?"

  Belle rolled her eyes at his coy Benning grin. "You're ornery, you know that?"

  "Whatever," Burke whispered, listening to Duke's voice over the phone. He pushed a button to end the conversation. "To Charlie's."

  "To Charlie's," Belle repeated with a shake of her head and a light laugh, the dogs baying from the back of the truck.

  Chapter Sixteen

  "Ladies and Gentlemen, would you please welcome all-star running back, Burke Benning."

  Thunderous applause filled Studio 7 as Burke stepped through the stage curtain of the David Dubois Show. He paused and waved to the crowd, flashing a smile and bringing the audience to their feet with a roar.

  David Dubois greeted him with a manly slap on the back. "Welcome back to civilization!" David sniffed the air. "What's that smell? Manure?"

  Burke took an over-exaggerated sniff as he sat in the guest chair. "No, Dave, I think it's your hair gel."

  A laugh rippled through the crowd.

  For the next few minutes, they chatted and exchanged witty barbs, Burke holding his own with the talented host and comedian.

  He taunted David, pitting the audience against him, ruffling the gregarious host. Burke loved the casual atmosphere of the late night talk shows, and his ten-year relationship with David made him feel at home on the set.

  David cut to the first commercial break and leaned over to him while the show's band entertained the studio audience.

  "After the break, let's talk about your retirement, then I have a surprise for you."

  Burke grinned. "Oh, no, you don't. What surprise?"

  The director called from the corner. "Back in five, four, three, two, one." He cued the host.

  David welcomed the television audience back from the commercial and immediately prompted Burke to talk about his retirement.

  He spoke seriously and confidently about his decision to leave the game he so loved. "I spent some time in prayer and realized I needed to make a change in my life." He paused to take a breath. He wanted to let the world know that Jesus Christ controlled the course of his life. But how did he say it without sounding preachy or fake? Finally, he simply said, "I knew the Lord was leading me in a new direction."

  David gawked at him, tried to make a joke and bombed. He recovered with, "So, you're a religious man?"

  Burke shook his head, reflecting for a split second on the many times he'd shared with David the truth of Jesus Christ. "I'm not a religious man, David. I'm merely committed to the Savior, Jesus, the Christ and the love He showed for me by paying the price for my sins."

  The host coughed and sputtered, his complexion reddening. After a second he said, "The world of professional football will not be the same without you. We wish you all the best."

  The audience cheered and applauded. "We'll be right back with a surprise for Burke Benning. Don't go away."

  During the commercial break, David moved him to another part of the stage. Burke balked when he recognized the gag.

  "Oh, no, you don't Dave. I'm not playing the Dating Game."

  "We have a surprise guest for you."

  "I don't want to know who."

  "Don't worry, I'm not telling you. We're back in three."

  He had no choice. He hopped into the bachelor chair just as the music faded and the camera lights flashed.

  Dave set the scene for everyone. Football's most eligible bachelor could not retire without giving the ladies a final chance to win his heart. So, the David Dubois Show had arranged a little match.

  David shoved a stack of cards in Burke's hand and instructed him to quiz the contestants.

  He said a quick prayer while Dave egged on the audience.

  Lord, let the words of my mouth be pleasing to you. Give me wisdom.

  He read the first question, blushed and tossed it aside. The next question he found presentable and proceeded to question the mystery women behind the wall.

  Right away he recognized the disguised voice of contestant number one as the woman who did his makeup.

  Contestant number two sounded like th
e comedienne scheduled to entertain after him.

  But the sublime voice of contestant number three caused his pulse to quicken.

  Grace.

  A rush of anticipation forced him to bobble his words, and David heckled him mercilessly.

  He regained his composure and fired the rest of the questions at Grace. He drew in the audience, getting them to play along, ignoring the other contestants as they launched mock complaints about being left out of the game. The studio rocked with laughter.

  Finally, Dave made him choose. Smug and confidant, Burke picked. "Number three."

  Grace stepped around the wall, slender and tanned from the Australian sun, her perfect, diamond-like smile lighting her face.

  As she stepped into Burke's embrace, the makeshift stage slid behind the curtain.

  Dave hollered over the cheer of the crowd. "We'll be right back after this."

  ***

  Belle sat curled on the sofa hugging a pillow, nervous as Burke stepped before the camera, dashing and confident, wearing charcoal color slacks with a white oxford shirt that accentuated his Oklahoma tan, and a light gray suede jacket.

  A thrill shot through her as she watched him on the small screen for the very first time. It seemed hard to comprehend that the man smartly exchanging quips with David Dubois had worked side by side with her on the Bar J half the summer.

  "Well, don't he look like a million bucks?" Duke commented, winking at his daughter. The bowl of popcorn propped in his lap perfumed the room. "I'm gonna have to get me some duds like that."

  A warm flush flowed from her cheeks to the bottom of her neck. "Yes, he looks very nice, Daddy."

  Burke sat in the guest chair, impressing Belle, and probably the rest of the world, as he bantered with the famous David Dubois, renowned for his caustic sarcasm. At the first commercial, the phone rang.

  "I'm in awe. I've never seen him like this," Gates bubbled over the phone.

  "He's clever," Belle said, her face sore from smiling.

  Gates babbled on and on. Belle listened and nodded. Yes, it was hard to believe he was one of Haskell's own. And so down to earth.