by Lizzy Ford
I’m not meant to live through this ordeal. The stark realization made her sick to her stomach. Deidre deserved better. Gabriel deserved better. Past-Death caused chaos and hurt everywhere she went.
The cool stone felt good against her hot head, and she focused on falling again into the vivid sleep. It was getting easier to enter it, and she gripped the keys tightly as the sense of floating into darkness returned.
When she was able to register where she was, she stood facing the doors of one of the two cells she knew should never be opened.
This time, she had no choice. She had to save Deidre.
Past-Death shook the thoughts free. She turned to face one door, safe in her dream-like state from whatever was inside. If the death dealers weren’t able to see her when she stood in front of them, she was able to take a peek at what horrible monster she’d imprisoned before surrendering her position as a deity. She could free Deidre and then run back to her own cell and open it.
Not like I have anything to lose at this point. Her heart fluttered fast. Unlocking the door, she pushed it open only far enough to peer into the cell.
It appeared to be empty.
Surprised, Past-Death pushed it open a little farther until she was able to see three of the corners.
Nothing.
She entered the cell and looked around critically. There was no sign of Deidre or anyone else. A thick, undisturbed layer of dust coated the floor.
“It’s the wrong fucking key.” Past-Death’s panic stirred. She’d grabbed one key but not the other, which meant Deidre was in the other cell.
Why would she have secured a cell with no prisoner? Especially one of those at this end of the hallway? Or had the death dealers freed the occupant?
“I know someone was here,” she muttered.
Past-Death opened the door wider to illuminate the cell as much as possible. A small, blue gem winked as the faint light from the hallway caught it. Sensing no one in the cell, she crossed to the flicker of light and was able to make out something else.
Bones. Whoever had been in the cell was long dead.
She picked up the blue gem. The emerald-shaped gem rested in a band of metal that appeared to be a cross between brass and gold in color. By its size, it belonged to a man. It seemed rather plain and like it could use a good cleaning. If it held any sort of magic, if it was more than a trinket, she wasn’t able to tell.
“I guess you’re no longer a threat,” she said, uncertain if she should be relieved or disturbed to know she had unwittingly left him to die. “Rest in peace, whoever you are.”
It didn’t seem right to take away the only possession belonging to the dead man. Past-Death set the ring down and left, locking the cell once more.
Sensing someone behind her, she whirled.
No one was present. She stood perfectly still, waiting for some sign that someone else was there, perhaps someone as invisible as her.
She thought she saw the flames of the nearest torch flicker, as if someone had passed by it, and the flicker of blue. A full minute passed with no other sign.
“I really hope I didn’t just let something out,” she murmured. Her gaze fell to the door across the hall. With a jolt, she realized she needed the other key in order to rescue Deidre.
Past-Death hurried down the hallway towards the stairs, intent on grabbing the key and helping Deidre before something worse happened.
Chapter Six
Deidre hit the cold stone floor and heard the cell door slam shut. Too weak to move, she lay still. The world was one of haziness and blood – her blood. She smelled it, and it rendered her hungry and made her want to sob. But her energy was gone, along with her voice, depleted after all her screaming and struggling.
Her lower body was shredded from what the men had done, her upper body bruised and broken from their blows when she’d tried to fight them. Her head had a gash in it, her vision blurry and her nose broken and streaming blood into her mouth and down her throat.
No more pain. It was there, at the corner of her mind, waiting for the barrier that left her numb to fall. After a lifetime with a brain tumor and more surgeries than she cared to count, she’d learned how to separate herself from the pain.
As long as she didn’t move. Agony would tear down the brittle wall between her and her sanity if she did. Tears trickled out of her eyes to the cold floor.
What did I do to deserve any of this? It wasn’t the first time she’d thought such a thing, but it was the first time she wasn’t able to find any sort of silver lining in her situation. There was no demon lord to save her, and no matter what she said, she hadn’t been able to convince her attackers to take mercy on her.
It was light outside. She’d spent several lifetimes screaming or so it felt like, but she was able to see the suns through the window, high in the sky. Either little time had passed at all or an entire day had.
Chains rattled from one side of the cell, drawing her attention away from her thoughts. Even if Jared wanted to eat her, she wasn’t able to move. From her peripheral, she glimpsed a dark shape inching towards her cautiously from the direction of the corner.
She closed her eyes, destroyed by the idea that she was about to be eaten by a demon after the disaster that was her life. A sob escaped her, and it hurt so bad, she swallowed the next one.
“Demon?” It was a woman’s voice that came from the other prisoner in her cell.
Deidre opened her eyes and blinked way tears.
The face that hovered over hers wasn’t anyone she recognized. The young woman had long, curly dark red hair, skin made pale from her imprisonment, and a round face. Her eyes were those of a deity: flashing black then white then every color in between. They stopped at dark purple and stayed that color.
“Are you a demon?” she asked in a rough whisper, as if she hadn’t spoken to anyone in a long time.
“Yes.” Deidre mouthed the word, unable to talk.
“You are hurt.”
“I want to die.”
The woman raised an eyebrow. “That is not for you to decide.”
Deidre started to cry again, and pain filtered through her. “I can’t live … like this … anymore. My life is hell.”
“Then you want her to balance you,” the redhead murmured. “If you are worthy of death, you will die. If you are worthy of life, you will live. If you are worthy of some other state, you will have it.”
I don’t care anymore! Deidre wanted to scream.
“Do you wish to be balanced?”
“I don’t understand.”
“Just say yes, and it will be over, in some form.”
“Yes.”
“Take her hand.”
It took all of Deidre’s resolve to raise her hand to the one the redhead held out. Deidre took her soft, cool hand and closed her eyes, unable to help the sobs that escaped her. She went over the past few weeks in her mind, from finding out she was terminal to meeting Gabriel to entering the sick world of the Immortals. One choice, and she’d ended up in Hell, the mate of the Dark One, and a demon. For a split second, she’d found a place at his side, only to end up here.
My life was a waste.
“Please let me die!” she begged again, body seizing uncontrollably from pain and sorrow.
“Almost done,” the woman replied.
Deidre clenched her hand. The wall between her mind and the pain slipped away, and she started to slide into dark agony. Just when she thought she was about to lose herself for good, the pain stopped. Broken bones grew together and the tears and bruises in her skin healed themselves. The inhuman movement of her body fixing itself scared her as much as the pain.
The woman released her.
Deidre lay still, terrified to move in case the pain returned.
“It is not your time to die,” the woman said.
The scent of blood was on her clothing still, and she was weak. She examined the forearm that had been broken in the light. It was healed, along with every other part of her
. She gazed at herself, unable to recall fully what happened to her. She’d been taken out of the cell with past-Death, wandered up to discover Gabriel’s soul and then … blank.
Without the memories, she no longer had the urge to jump off a cliff and end it all.
Deidre pushed herself up, beyond relieved when the movement caused no pain whatsoever. “This is amazing. How did you do that?” Deidre asked.
The woman had crept back into the shadowy corner of the cell. She settled, the rattling of her chains quieting.
“You did that,” came the quiet response.
“Pretty sure I would’ve killed myself, if I had the ability,” Deidre said. She wiped tears from her face. “How can I heal without my mate?”
“The Dark One.” It was a scoff. “The Great Imbalance!”
Deidre shifted to sit comfortably, exhausted. Her stomach was hurting again, and she gritted her teeth until the discomfort was gone.
“You had the ability to heal but slowly. I sped it up,” the goddess said, calming.
“You’re a deity, aren’t you?” Deidre asked. “Fate has eyes like yours.”
“I know. My brother comes to visit me sometimes.”
“He’s your brother and won’t help you out?”
“Long story,” the deity in the corner sighed.
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, Deidre thought. If Fate was one thing, it was unpredictable. “Why are you locked up down here in the first place?”
“Deity business is messy.”
Deidre smiled faintly. “I know.”
“You are the first demon she hasn’t killed.”
“She?” Deidre’s brow furrowed. “You mean you?”
“Yes.”
“I’m not a … well … I wasn’t born a demon.”
“They’re hatched. You were born,” the woman corrected absently. “She saw that, though. You were turned.”
“Saw?” Deidre waited.
“When you are balanced, all is revealed, from the moment you entered the world until the moment you take her hand. The content of your soul is hers to examine.”
Deidre shivered at the explanation. “Who are you?”
“The Great Balancer, the scales of justice in a world that does not like it.”
“Do you have a name?”
“Karma.” The word was a grunt.
Oh, shit. Deidre didn’t speak for a long moment. She’d met the devil, Death, and Fate. Never in her imagination did she believe Karma was real, too.
“Your scales are severely off balance. You have experience such evil and so little joy.” Karma’s voice grew soft. “Karma cannot let that injustice stand.”
“So you didn’t kill me because I’ve been tortured and killed a couple times over?” Deidre asked, recovering herself. “Kinda seems like ending it all would be a better alternative.”
“Not the way it works.”
Deities and their bizarre rules. “I never thought I’d like … I mean, meet … um, like to meet Karma.”
“No one likes Karma, but everyone is supposed to meet her.”
Deidre felt a little bad at the quiet note in the deity’s voice. “They can’t if you’re here. Why are you in prison?”
“Immortals and deities don’t like Karma either.”
Deidre gave a husky laugh, startled by the disgruntled note in the woman’s voice, as if the deity was truly hurt that no one liked her.
“Who put you here? Harmony?”
“You did. At least, your deity form did. Captured Karma a thousand years ago. Karma has been forgotten here and Immortals and deities have run amok, doing as they please.”
“Wow.” Deidre’s thoughts went to the Dark One. “What do you do to those who are securely on the side of evil?”
“She can do little to deities, aside from a temporary re-balancing. Immortals and humans, Karma can balance as needed. Whatever they have earned, she delivers.”
“And I earned being healed?”
“You have nothing to fear from Karma. You cannot commit the amount of evil needed to balance your scales in your lifetime.”
“That’s good. Just confirms what I know about my life.” Deidre drew her knees to her chest. “It’s fucked up, isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
At least in Hell, she had Darkyn, and no one would dream of fucking with him or his mate. Deidre felt tears rise for a different reason. “I miss him,” she murmured. “I shouldn’t, but I do.”
“He’s your blood mate. You should, even if he didn’t earn you.”
Who knew she’d find Karma supportive? There was a time when she’d cursed the deity several times a day.
“He will come for you,” Karma added. “He is already here.”
“What?” Deidre’s breath caught. “Is that possible?”
“She can always feel great imbalances from a distance. He is here.”
Hope bubbled within her breast. Deidre wasn’t certain what she felt at the news: relief, exhilaration, fear.
Hunger that made her mouth water and the furnace at the pit of her stomach blaze to life.
“We need to get out of here,” she said and stood, pacing.
“We? You would take Karma?” Karma asked curiously.
“Yes, I would take Kar – you. I would take you.” Deidre caught herself. “Any reason why you refer to yourself in the third person?”
“Bored. Karma started it to entertain her and then forgot how not to talk about Karma like that.”
We’ll fix that later. “Where do you want to go? Do you have a … uh, domain or home like Death and the Dark One?”
“No. She has nothing.”
“Okay then. Let’s focus on leaving.”
“She needs out of these.” The chains rattled. “You need to avoid the death dealers, lest you end up half-dead at Karma’s feet again.”
Deidre shivered. “Not that I want to, but why can’t I remember what happened?”
“You earned peace of mind. Karma can separate the memories that cause you the most pain.”
Do I thank her or freak out she messed with my mind? Deidre shook her head. “We need keys.”
“Or … search the corner opposite her. They toss Immortals in every once in a while for her to balance.”
Deidre’s gaze lingered on the dark shape of the deity. She’d learned a lot about how shifty the gods and goddesses of the universe were. She’d learned never to trust them, too.
She saved my life. After a brief hesitation, she went to the corner and knelt, feeling around with her hands until she found something.
Deidre leaned back and moved it into the light, dropping it with a startled yelp.
“That’s a femur!” she exclaimed.
“Should be femurs for five over there. Not that they’ll help,” Karma said, unconcerned.
“I’ll never understand how dismissive you deities are of life!”
“Not dismissive. We understand it differently.”
Whatever that means. Cringing, Deidre patted the ground delicately. Her fingers grazed another bone, then a pile of them. She ordered herself not to get sick and sorted through them. Bile rose in her throat at the thought of the dead Immortals piled like rocks in a corner of a cell.
She began to understand why the Immortals and Deities didn’t want Karma loose, too. If this was evidence of what she did to most …
“Anything?” Karma called.
“Bones mostly.”
“Knives, tools, belt buckles?”
Deidre grimaced then grabbed an armful and moved to the lighted part of the cell. She deposited it.
“I think I’m gonna be sick,” she said, gazing down at the bones. “You did this?”
“They earned it.”
“They hurt people or something?”
“These were death dealers who didn’t obey Harmony. She tossed them down here. They hurt many people outside the confines of their sworn duties. When they were balanced, they were found lacking. It cost them their lives and
souls.”
Unwilling to dwell too long on what Karma did to them, Deidre drew a few deep breaths then knelt and began searching for something the deity in the corner could use.
“What happens if we run across someone once we escape?” she asked.
“They must agree to be balanced.”
“Or … what?”
“Karma kills.”
Her eyes flew up. She could almost see Karma shrug.
“Okay. Let’s just try not to kill anyone helping us escape. Can we do that?” Deidre asked.
“If you help Karma out of here, she will be indebted to you.”
Don’t sound too disappointed. “I don’t know about a tool, but this um, bone looks like it was fractured to a point. Will that work?” She had no idea what part of the body the bone in her hand came from.
“She can try it.”
“I can try it,” Deidre corrected absently.
“I can try it,” Karma echoed.
Deidre walked to Karma’s corner and handed it to her. “I’ll keep looking.”
She continued searching and listened to the sound of the deity jamming and manipulating the chains. Deidre brought another two piles of bones to the center of the room. The effort – and idea of touching human-like remains – left her lightheaded. She took a break for a moment before sifting through the remains.
“Karma freed one lock!” Karma said in excitement. “But the bone is broken.”
“I think I found another.” Deidre pulled free another one with a jagged point. She slid it across the floor to the deity. “I’m not seeing tools.”
“We need more bones,” Karma said with a grunt. “Karma can make that happen.”
“Um … I don’t think that’s the best alternative. I’ll keep looking for bones.”
“Half the Immortals in this palace have it coming.”
“Do you and Death ever scuffle over territory?”
“Sometimes, like when Karma balances someone whose name hasn’t been written on the list. Past-Death put her … me here for it.”
“Who did you judge?”
“Gabriel.”
Deidre gasped. “But he’s … Gabriel. You wanted to kill him and past-Death wouldn’t let you?”