As if Ethan intuits Jeremy’s turn of thought, he changes the subject. “When are you two going to have a baby?”
Alarm flits across Jeremy’s face as he locks eyes with me. Evidently in all their private talks this week, that topic never came up.
“Oh … soon,” I say.
“Uh-oh,” Laura says, “I sense trouble.”
“There’s no trouble,” Jeremy mutters.
“Maybe you need to get a few tips from Penny James,” Ethan says with that devilish grin of his.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jeremy snaps.
Laura lays a hand on his. “Oh, brother dear, did no one ever tell you how babies are made?”
Jeremy presses his lips together, but he can’t stop the corners turning up.
I laugh. “Believe me, he knows how to insert tab B into slot A.” I gather the cards to shuffle. “What’s the rush anyway?”
“Obviously,” Laura says, “you’re not aware it’s practically all our mums discuss every time they get together.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Jeremy says. “We’ve barely been married a year.”
“Nevertheless, Jemmie, it’s your duty to produce an heir and a spare.”
“Wait, what? An heir and a spare?”
Jeremy shakes his head at me and turns to Laura. “Don’t add to my wife’s delusion that she married into royalty.”
“Royalty!” Laura laughs. “But,” she says to me, “it was hilarious that you believed Uncle when he called them Lord and Lady.”
“I never heard that story,” Ethan says.
“You weren’t there,” Jeremy says, “when she met Mum and Dad the first time.”
“And Chelsea called them Lord and Lady?”
“No, I did not. But that’s how Uncle referred to them, and I didn’t know he was joking. I was nervous they’d hate me.”
“And now they adore you,” Laura says.
“Lucky you,” Ethan says.
After an awkward moment of silence, during which we’re surely all acknowledging Gordon Pearce’s dislike of Ethan, Jeremy says, “Are you going to deal those cards, wife?”
I slide the deck to Ethan and scoot back my chair. “I need an ‘ice lolly’. Anyone else want one?”
♥ ♥ ♥
Jeremy’s grudgingly accepted that he can’t change Laura’s mind, so he and Ethan have called a tentative truce. Tonight, we’re having a kind of going away party because Ethan and Laura are flying back to London tomorrow. As far as I know, Ethan stayed in his bedroom every night—and I probably would have heard him sneak out because, as tired as I am, I’ve been lying awake a lot.
You know how when you get a new car, you suddenly start noticing all the identical ones? Well, it works the same with words. Since Jeremy accused me of not being open and honest, I’ve heard the word honest a thousand times on TV or in overheard conversation. My insomnia is caused by guilt. Not because I lied about Jeremy’s book—it’s because I still haven’t told him about the baby. But really, how could I with Ethan and Laura here? Besides, they gave him a big enough shock this past week. Still.
I was relieved when Ethan said he wanted to treat everyone, including Gabi and Matt, to a night out. I’m running out of excuses for why I’m not drinking at home, but tonight I can use designated driver as a genuine excuse. We’re all dressed and ready to go when Laura unknowingly almost wrecks my plan.
“Has someone already called for a car?” she says.
“We’re driving,” I say quickly. “I’ll be the DD.”
“That’s no fun,” she says.
“Right,” Jeremy says, pulling out his phone. “I’ll order Lyft.”
I grab his hand. “No, really, I don’t mind. Besides, it’s no fun for Gabi being the only one not drinking.”
“Oh,” he says. “Are you sure?”
When I nod, he pockets his phone. Yep, there’s no way I can keep up this deception. I have to tell him. Then again, we haven’t talked any more about the delay, he could have changed his mind about that. Maybe I should wait to see if this new book idea pans out. No. Tomorrow I tell him. The day after tomorrow for sure.
We meet Gabi and Matt at Sunset Brewhouse. By the time we finish dinner, the baseball game the guys were distracted with has ended, and we’re having a real conversation. As usual, the guys eventually turn the topic to work. The focus tonight, for some reason, is Ethan’s job. Even Matt’s engrossed in the comparison of US and UK law practice. Laura, of course, has been around lawyers all her life and can offer comments. Gabi takes about a hundred bathroom breaks. (Another thing I have to look forward to.) She’s just returned from one, and I’m distracted getting up to let her slide back in the booth, so I don’t realize the conversation has taken another turn until I hear the word moving.
“What?” I say.
“I asked Jeremy if he ever thought about moving back to England,” Matt says.
Jeremy isn’t answering; he’s studying his beer.
“Why would he want to do that?” I ask.
I’m looking at Matt, but I could swear that, out of the corner of my eye, I see Ethan glance at Jeremy. But when I turn my head in that direction, Ethan’s only staring into his own glass.
“We just bought a house,” Jeremy says.
Laura laughs. “And anyway, why would he want to leave California?”
Matt shrugs. “It was just a question.”
But I get the feeling it wasn’t. I glance at Gabi, but her eyes are glued to her iced tea. Geez. What fascinating drinks they serve here.
An awkward silence falls over us until Laura bangs her glass on the table. “So,” she says, “anyone want to discuss politics?”
And we’re off.
Twenty minutes later, Gabi, Laura, and I are in the restroom. Laura leans close to the mirror. “God, I look drunk.” She giggles. “I am drunk.”
“Don’t rub it in,” Gabi says. “I’d kill for a margarita.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. It must be awful not to be able to party with us.”
“Yeah, only seven months to go.”
I hip bump Laura away from the sink so I can wash my hands.
“How long before you make me Aunt Laura?”
“I don’t know. Jeremy changed his—” Ohmygod. Our eyes meet in the mirror. She’s smiling triumphantly.
“I knew you were hiding something,” she says. “Spill.”
Sigh. In for a penny … “Jeremy says we can’t afford a baby.” I turn to her. “You can’t tell him I told you that. And don’t say anything to Ethan either. Please, don’t.
She tries to scowl, but her lingering grin spoils the effect. “Why the reversal so soon after you—” She stops talking when two more women enter the restroom.
We troop out, and with a glance to make sure the guys aren’t looking our way, Gabi leads us outside to a bench where I bring Laura up to speed on the situation. Or try to. She keeps blinking at me, so I’m not sure how much she’s taking in. When I finish, she takes a deep breath.
“Right,” she says. “Jeremy postponed baby making because he was writing shit his publisher wouldn’t pay for, so you asked Ethan to visit, hoping he could inspire Jeremy to write a better book that would fulfill his contract, keep the coffers filled, and get you back to the old slap and tickle unsheathed?”
Gabi’s goggle-eyed. “How can you talk like that when you’re drunk?”
I wave my hand to bring Laura’s attention back to me. “Yes, that’s right.”
Laura slaps her thighs and gets to her feet. “All right, then.”
“You’re not going to say anything … to anyone?”
“My lips are sealed.” She hugs me. “Now, let’s get back to the table before they come looking for us.”
I glance at Gabi, she shrugs, and we follow Laura inside.
CHAPTER 6
Last night was the first time we’d been alone in a week, and it actually seemed weird. I wish Laura and Ethan lived here. Well, not here in our house, of course,
but here in California. Jeremy let me sleep in again this morning, and I haven’t made it out of bed yet. It’s so quiet, I can hear Jeremy typing. Two years ago, that sound was my lullaby. Sometimes I wonder if we’d be married today if my panties hadn’t ended up in his dryer back then. You just never know what your future’s going to be, do you?
My hand slips down to my stomach. A huge part of our future is growing inside me. And whether or not there’s hope that Jeremy will have a book to fulfill his contract, I have to let him in on the secret. I climb out of bed and head for the shower. I want to look pretty when I tell him.
Thirty minutes later, I walk into the office, fully made up and wearing the silky floral sundress he loves to see me in. Wadded up legal-pad pages scattered over the floor are my first indication that Jeremy may not be having the success I’d hoped for. He only resorts to writing by hand when he’s totally frustrated with what’s coming through the keyboard.
“Good morning,” I say sweetly.
“Not for me,” he growls.
I lay a hand on his shoulder. “Can I get you anything?”
He sighs and pats my hand. “Sorry. I don’t really feel like talking. This synopsis is a bitch.”
“Okay. I’ll just get to work, then.”
“I’d rather—” He swivels his chair and takes my hand. “Is it too much to ask you to work somewhere else today?”
“Oh. No, of course not. I’ll work in the living room.” I barely make it to my desk before my vision blurs with tears. I grab my laptop and close the door behind me. Abandoning my laptop on the dining table, I continue on into the garage so I can sit in my car and cry.
Several minutes later, my makeup is wrecked, my head is stopped up, and I don’t know what to do next. If Jeremy can’t even write the synopsis for a new book, how will he be able to produce a full manuscript? No book, no baby. We’re back to square one—except, now, delaying parenthood is not an option. If only we’d waited longer to buy a house. Now, we’ll be stuck with a mortgage and a baby we can’t afford.
Time to put on your big-girl panties, Chelsea.
Okay. I grab a Wendy’s napkin from the console, wipe off my smeared mascara and blow my nose. I’ll just have to write faster. Twice as fast. Three times. Whatever it takes. Hell, erotica sells. I’ll write that too—not as Penny James, of course. I open the car door and then close my eyes and take some yoga breaths.
“You can do this, Chelsea.” When I open my eyes, I’m looking straight at Jeremy standing in the doorway from the kitchen, watching me.
“What can you do?”
I get out of the car, smiling as if it’s perfectly normal to sit in your car in the garage in the middle of the morning. “Do you need something? Did you eat breakfast? I’ll fix it for you. What would you like?”
He comes to me and tilts my chin up. “You’ve been crying? Oh shit.” He takes me in his arms. “I’m sorry for acting the jerk. It had nothing to do with you.”
“I know.”
He pushes me back, holding me at arm’s length. “So why the tears?”
I swallow hard and shake my head.
“You said, ‘You can do this’. What did you mean?”
“Writing erotica.”
He arches a brow, a smile barely suppressed. “And the thought of that made you weep?”
I blow my nose again. “I was just trying to think of how to make more money, and I realized I’d need to write faster, and then I thought about what’s selling hot … and it’s … erotica, so … so …”
Suddenly, I’m boohooing for all I’m worth, and Jeremy’s holding me, comforting me. I try to get control of myself, but the struggle is useless. After a while, I must black out or something because the next thing I know, Jeremy’s carrying me through the hall to our bedroom. We spoon as he waits for me to run out of tears. Eventually, I do, and I’m drifting toward sleep when a sound pulls me back.
My mom calls out, “Anyone home?”
I jump up and run toward the front door. Mom and Uncle are standing in the entry. I hug them both, and Jeremy, ten seconds behind, does the same. “Why didn’t you let us know you were coming home?” I ask.
Mom pauses for a second, throwing a glance at Uncle. “It was sort of a last-minute decision.”
I don’t see how she couldn’t have called at some point during the ten hours or so it takes to fly from London to here, but whatever. “Ethan and Laura just left yesterday,” I tell them.
“Yes, we know,” Uncle says. “Laura called to fill us all in on the new development.”
Ohmygod. Fear sucks every bit of moisture from my mouth. “She did?” I squeak. I’m screwed. Jeremy’s going to flip when he finds out I told Laura about the baby delay.
“Amanda is happy with it,” Mom says. “But I can’t say the same for Gordon.”
I don’t get their reactions, but I grab Jeremy’s arm. I can’t take the stress of keeping secrets. I have to get him alone so I can confess everything before he figures out what they’re talking about. “Jer—”
“For once, surprisingly, I agree with my father,” Jeremy says.
Wait, what?
Uncle frowns at Jeremy. “How can that be? You should know better than anyone that Ethan’s not a bad sort.”
Ethan? Oh. If I wasn’t clutching Jeremy, I’d sink to the floor with relief. They’re talking about Ethan and Laura.
Jeremy snorts. “It’s precisely because I do know him so well that I’m against this relationship.”
Uncle shakes his head and chuckles. “You and your father will both come around.”
“They make an adorable couple,” Mom says.
Jeremy grunts.
“Can we come in?” Mom asks.
“Oh. Sorry.” On still shaky legs, I lead them toward the living room. Thank God we cleaned yesterday. “Can I get you something to drink?”
“Won’t say no,” Uncle says and settles on the sofa.
Jeremy’s already at the bar. “Marie?” he says.
“No thanks, dear.” Mom looks at me. “I’ll just have … iced tea? Water?”
“Tea it is.” I head to the kitchen. I pour a glass for myself first and take a long drink. I’m so glad I didn’t blurt out something incriminating before the confusion cleared. I pour another glass for Mom and take it to her. She’s sitting as close to Uncle as she can get. They’ve only been together a little over a year, but they look like they’ve been together forever—and couldn’t be happier about that. Another adorable couple.
“You started to say something in the foyer, sweetie,” Mom says.
“Not me.”
Mom looks puzzled. In the following silence, she glances around the room. “Well, I see you decided on your accent color for this room.”
“Jeremy did, actually. I couldn’t make up my mind.”
Jeremy smiles at my mom. “I chose the plum I knew she really wanted.”
Yep. He probably did. Selflessness strikes again.
“How long are you home for this time, Mom?” Again, she and Uncle glance at each other. “Is there some secret you two are keeping?”
“Secret? No, sweetie. Why do you ask?”
“We’re here for a few days so your mother can visit some friends.”
“And you and Jeremy, of course,” Mom adds.
“Rather low-key for you world travelers,” Jeremy says.
“Oh, no,” Mom says. “Just a nice break before our next adventure.”
“And what will that be?” I ask.
“Could be Japan again,” Uncle says, holding out his empty glass to Jeremy. “When are you two coming back home for a visit?”
“I don’t know.” Jeremy goes back to the bar. “We’re both busy with work.”
Uncle frowns. “All work and no play … though I expect it’s not all work.”
Mom slaps his thigh. “Oh, Albert.”
Uncle laughs.
I’m a little hurt that Jeremy didn’t correct Uncle on his use of home as being England. After
two years, shouldn’t Jeremy think of here as home?
“Actually,” Mom says, “we’ve discussed renting a motor home and touring the States. Albert hasn’t seen a lot America has to offer.”
Uncle squeezes her hand and kisses her cheek. “No, but I have the best woman American has to offer.”
Mom blushes. God they’re so cute.
“Second best,” Jeremy says and winks at me.
“Yeah, like I don’t pay you to say things like that.” I roll my eyes, but despite my mother sitting six feet away, my girlie parts melt. “So which is it? Are you off to Japan or the Great America Tour from here?”
Uncle clears his throat. “Actually, neither. We have a project to start in Hertfordshire first.”
Mom shoots him a look I can’t interpret and then smiles at me and nods as though she was just about to say the same thing.
“A project?” Jeremy says.
With a glance, Uncle passes the question to Mom.
“We’re going to remodel Albert’s cottage,” she says.
“Why?” All three of them look at me like I’ve said something rude. “I mean, I didn’t think you spent much time there.”
“Well, we’ve pretty much traveled the world this past year,” Mom says. “We can’t keep traveling forever, sweetie. And Albert bought me a beautiful horse for our anniversary. You should see her, Jeremy.”
He smiles and nods at her because I’m pretty sure he’s avoiding looking at me, which doesn’t ease the dread I’m starting to feel. Suddenly, as if in sympathy, the room dims when a cloud hides the sun.
“What aren’t you saying, Mom?”
“Not saying?” she says, her face a picture of innocence.
Uncle smooths his mustache and fixes his gaze on the backyard.
Jeremy stands. “Are you sure I can’t get you a drink, Marie?”
“Maybe I will have a G&T, thank you.”
She used to drink wine before Laura introduced her to gin and tonic. She used to love staying at home taking care of her roses. She used to make me feel like I was the most important person in her life.
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