“Oh?” I sit up straighter, pulling my chair in closer to my desk.
“The doctors said there’s not much more we can do.”
My throat goes dry, but I push the words out. “I don’t understand. I thought the treatment was working.”
“I wish that were the case, Princess, but it’s not.”
My mind immediately starts to go through scenarios and options. “Then we find another doctor. We can . . . we can go to that specialist in New York who is having a lot of success with a new combination of chemo.”
“Maren . . .”
I shake my head, not wanting to listen to whatever he’s going to say. “I read about it online and it seems promising. Or maybe you just take a break for a month or so . . .”
“Maren, stop. It’s been years and years of fighting, and I’m tired.”
I know he is. God, I know he’s exhausted and has been at this for longer than I ever would’ve been, but I’m selfish and want my father. I need my daddy, but right now, my daddy needs me not to fall apart.
So, I stay silent, not trusting my voice.
“I’m just so tired, and when the treatment was working, it was worth it, you know?”
I nod.
“I wish it weren’t the case, but it’s time. It’s time to let go and live out the rest of my time.”
I want to wail, to scream at him to keep fighting, but I won’t do that to him. I can see the pain and fear in his eyes. “I hate this,” I say.
“Me too. The doctors say it won’t be long, and I meet with the hospice team tomorrow.”
That is a word I hoped never to hear. It was a silly hope, one that I was aware would never be fulfilled, but still, a girl can dream.
I had dreams of him being a grandpa and loving my kids, taking them horseback riding or teaching them how to build things. I wanted that for him as much as for myself. Now, that time won’t ever come to pass.
Whatever time he does have left, I want to spend as much of it with him as I can. “Why don’t we cancel the wedding, Daddy? Oliver and I can come down to Georgia and be with you.”
My father’s face turns red. “Absolutely not.”
“Why?”
“Because . . . you will not give up your wedding because of this.”
“It’s fine, Daddy. We can wait.”
“No, it’s not. You have no idea what this means to me. To be there, at your wedding. To know that you’ll be loved and that you found the man you want to spend your life with.”
I do know. He told me that exact thing a few months ago. I cried so hard that night, knowing that I might never give him that peace.
Thankfully, Oliver understood, and he proposed a week after that call.
“But you’re sick and you need to be home where you can rest.”
“What I need is not to stay in bed. I am sick, and that won’t change. But this is what I need. To be able to give you away to the man you love, well, it’s what every parent hopes for. To know their child is . . .” He gasps and then swallows. “I want a happy memory for us, Maren. Don’t take that from me. Don’t let cancer be the reason I don’t get to see my only child marry the man she loves. I want to be there for you. To see you start your lives together.”
My chest aches. “I don’t want to make this worse for you.”
“The only thing that would make it worse is . . . if you . . .” He struggles for breath. “Cancel it.”
I lean back in my chair and look out my office window, feeling dejected and sad. “If you say so.”
“I do. Now, do you have everything ready?” He chokes out the words before gasping.
Even now, while he can barely speak, he’s worried about me. I’ve always known he is wonderful and I’m lucky, but it’s never been quite so obvious before. He wants this for himself, yes, but I also think it’s for me. So I can look back and know my father was at my wedding. I’ve already lost my mom, and . . . well, he would always talk about my wedding.
I will make this wedding perfect for everyone. He’ll get to be there, and I’ll get to give him a memory that will allow him to rest.
I force a smile onto my lips and give him whatever joy I can. “Almost. I did find my perfect dress.”
He laughs. “Most important . . . part.”
“Well, and the father of the bride, right?”
Dad’s eyes brighten. “You’re the important one.”
“I think you’re pretty high up there.”
The bright green eyes that mirror mine are pooling with tears as his lower lip trembles. “I’m so happy, Maren. I have prayed for this.”
My heart falls to my stomach. I don’t know how I’m going to watch him die. How do I make it through my wedding, knowing that we may not have the chance to make any more memories? I can’t. I can’t lose him.
“Dad . . .” I start, but he lifts his hand, coughing hard.
“I’m okay,” he says after a few seconds of what sounds like excruciating chest heaving. “Just a little setback.”
Those four words have been his constant saying. No matter what life threw at him, it wasn’t more than just a little setback. He would fight. He persevered and tried to look at the obstacles as just that—things to overcome.
Now, there’s nothing he can do but let his body fade away.
And pray to see the things he wants.
“Your setback sounds bad.”
He scoffs. “You don’t worry . . . about me.”
“I always worry about you.”
My father wipes away a tear. “You are giving me everything. Everything,” his voice cracks at the end. “I’ll see you in a few days.”
“Okay.”
My heart crumbles and so does my resolve. Tears break free and I cry at my desk because I’m about to lose the only man I really love.
Three
MAREN
Devney and I are getting ready to head to North Carolina. I have cried more than any human ever has, but I’m not going to cancel the wedding. Daddy sent me an email, which he does when speaking is too hard, reiterating how happy he was. So, I’m going to put on my brave face and give my dad what he wants.
A wedding.
“I am so, so sorry, Mare,” Devney says as she loads her last piece of luggage into the trunk.
“He just . . . I don’t know. I just really thought he would be fine. I know that’s crazy, but I wasn’t ready.”
“Are we ever really ready?” she challenges.
“Probably not, but it’s been fifteen years of him being in and out of hospitals for treatment or surgeries. Now, they’re no longer trying, and he’s going to die.”
That’s what is killing me. The loss of hope.
“And how is your evil stepmother with it?”
I shrug. “Who knows? She called me three times, but I couldn’t answer.”
She flinches. “You’ll pay for that later.”
I know it. “She’ll call again. It’s like clockwork. Every hour until—” Like the demons alerted her my phone rings.
Devney’s eyes go wide, and I flash her my screen so she can see the ID. “No way.”
“I told you, Satan’s sister,” I say. “She’s something like Beetlejuice when you say her name, she appears.”
“Hey, Linda,” I answer with as much pep as I can. Lord knows if I’m not nice enough, my father will hear about it.
“Your father really doesn’t need to be making this trip to North Carolina.”
And so it begins.
“You approved it when we booked it, and he has been adamant I not cancel.”
“Yes, but it’s a great inconvenience to me. You don’t understand what it’s like to have to travel with him. He’s not a well man, Maren. We have a lot of appointments and things I have to shuffle about in order to make this . . . event . . . work.”
Event. I roll my eyes. “It’s a wedding.”
“I’m aware.”
She just doesn’t care. “I understand the inconvenience it is to you and
the stress you must be under, but I offered to cancel, and he refused to even hear it.”
“Of course, he would refuse, but I’m just informing you of the difficulties we face. Had you done what I asked and come to Georgia and got married in the church here, your father wouldn’t be suffering. He’s dying, and instead of spending his last few weeks comfortable, you have him trekking up to North Carolina. Do you know what this does to me?”
The last thing in the world I want is for my father to suffer. I would give anything to keep that from happening. He never once complained about going to North Carolina. In fact, he told me to get married wherever I wanted and he’d move heaven and earth to be there. Oliver is atheist and I’m Catholic, so getting married in the church anywhere couldn’t happen. Besides, I wanted my dad to get out of that damn house for just a bit.
I stay silent, biting my tongue until the metallic taste of blood reminds me to ease up. She can only upset me if I let her, and so far, she hasn’t said anything outside of her normal repertoire of selfish and narcissistic talking points.
“Anyway,” she says, “I am packing things now, and I wanted to inform you that I’m going to wear a cream-colored dress because it’s all I have. I don’t have the time or inclination to find something else.”
She’s such a bitch.
“You’re going to wear cream?”
“Don’t worry, no one will care.”
Right. No one will care that she’s wearing the same color as the fucking bride.
Fifteen years of anger, frustration, and headaches from dealing with her bubble up. Fifteen years of listening to how I’m not good enough, I don’t do enough, or visit enough, and how it’s all on her. She seems to have forgotten that she chose to move my father from Virginia Beach. Had they stayed here, she could have had an army of family surrounding him, caring, helping, and loving him. No, she is the perfect martyr.
Well, I’m not. I’m over her nonsense too. “That’s fine, I’m thinking of wearing black instead of white,” I toss back, knowing it’ll upset her delicate Southern heart.
“What?” She practically screeches. “You can’t wear black to a wedding! It’s not done. It’s not allowed!”
I sigh, a smile playing on my lips. “I’d love to talk more, but I have to go. Lots to do before the big day. Can’t wait to see Daddy . . . and you . . . in three days.”
“Maren, I’m not done speaking with you.”
“Sorry, I’ll call tomorrow to talk to him. Give him my love,” I say and then flip my phone to airplane mode. My new goal is to make a plan that will piss Satan’s sister off without ruining the wedding or upsetting my dad.
“She’s a peach,” Devney says after a few seconds.
“A Georgia one,” I say with disdain. “Ugh! I hate her. She’s going to find a way to ruin this.”
Devney sighs. “Look, my mother is . . . difficult too. I get it. Remember that this is for you, Oliver, and your dad. That’s why you threw together a wedding in less than a month.”
I lean against the hood of the car, grateful my best friend is here. “I’m crazy.”
“We know this.”
“But there’s nothing I won’t do for my dad.”
Devney looks at me, pursing her lips. “You know, I get it. I do. But, like, aren’t you excited to marry your man who no one has met yet?”
“I am,” I say quickly. “Oliver is a nice guy. He’s smart and really good at his job.”
“Definitely marriage material,” she says.
“Shut up!”
We both laugh and then get in the car. “I just hear you talk a lot about your dad and the wedding, but I want to make sure you’re doing this for the right reasons, that’s all.”
I sigh, gripping the wheel. I don’t know exactly how I feel. I like him. I mean, we’ve had fun the last few months, and when he asked me, I wanted to say yes.
At least fifty-two percent of me did, which meant I should because of the two percent tipping point.
So, yeah, when asked I said yes.
Now that we’re coming up on the big day there’s no way I’m going to second-guess myself.
“I think I could really love Oliver. He’s so nice and caring. I mean, we don’t know each other all that well and everything has moved at lightning speed, but that’s sort of my life.”
“Is it? You? The careful planner who doesn’t do anything without a million outcomes mapped out. Please, I’m not buying that. You still can’t say you love him and can’t wait to spend the rest of your life with this man. Your glowing accolade is that he’s nice.”
She’s not wrong, which is frustrating, but she isn’t completely right either. Oliver and I really do like each other. So, considering that I don’t know what love is anyway, maybe this is it. I know I want to be with him. I know that he makes me smile—when he’s home. I am really good at being his analyst when he’s on missions, and that’s a very special chemistry.
When he’s out and can’t see, I’m his eyes. I work hard to make sure he and the team are always safe and up to date on whatever information I have. That is a trust like no other. If we are able to rely on each other in critical situations, then surely, we’ll be able to do that in our marriage.
“Not all of us have these grand feelings like you and Sean.”
Devney’s lips purse. “That’s how it should be, Maren. Your dad being there is important, of course, but the wedding is about you and Oliver.”
“It is about us.”
“Is it, or is it about your dad?”
I shake my head, not willing to let her sway me. “I’m marrying Oliver. I weighed the risks, and if things had kept on the path they were on, we would have likely been married in a few years anyway. So, we’re just speeding it up in service of others. Just because it’s not perfect doesn’t mean it’s wrong.”
Devney’s eyes soften. “I’m not saying it’s wrong. I’m the last person who can say that getting married quickly or any of that is bad.”
“But you knew with Sean right away.”
“No, I didn’t,” she clarifies. “It took me almost being engaged to Oliver Parkerson to figure it out. Sean was always elusive to me. He was my best friend for . . . ever. He wasn’t the guy I was supposed to marry. We got drunk and kissed while I was dating someone else. I also know what I’m saying because I was living that life. I convinced myself that what I had with other men was good enough, but it wasn’t.” Devney reaches across the seat and takes my hand. “I know how you feel about marriage.”
“It’s forever.”
She nods. “Then make sure you’re forever-ing yourself with the right guy.”
Even if I didn’t think Oliver was the right guy, there’s no way I’m backing out at this point. All my dad wants before he dies is to walk me down the aisle. I won’t take that from him.
“I know what you’re saying, and I love you for it.”
Devney laughs. “But you’re still doing it.”
“I am.”
She nods. “Then, there you have it.”
I mean, I know what I want, and I’ve already considered all the possibilities. I want this. I could love him. I could at least see myself loving him, which is more than I have had with anyone else.
These are good odds.
I think . . .
Four
MAREN
“I’m so glad you came down early with me,” I tell Devney as we are entering the town of Willow Creek Valley.
“Me too. It gave me a break from the kids and forces Sean to play Mr. Mom for a bit.”
Devney’s husband is a major league baseball player. He’s amazing but on the road a lot, so they go back and forth between Florida and Sugarloaf whenever they can to maximize time together. I understand how hard it is to do the long-distance thing since Oliver travels a lot too.
It’s hard, but it’s what we do for the people we love.
“When will he get here?” I ask.
“Tomorrow. He and the kids are flying t
o Charlotte and renting a car.”
“Two kids on the plane by himself?” I ask. “Brave man.”
She laughs. “Please, the nanny is coming too. She is usually off for the summer, but we asked her to come on the trip so he and I can enjoy the wedding.”
I nod once. “Makes sense.”
We pull up to the house they rented, thinking it would be better to have their own place than be right under her ex’s feet. She said she talked to Oliver the other day, just to ease some of the awkwardness, but . . . I can’t imagine anything will completely relieve it.
Oliver Parkerson and Devney were supposed to be the real thing. I truly thought they’d end up together, but seeing her with Sean is otherworldly. They love in a way that I’ve never seen before.
Devney and I get out and unload the bags, putting the favors and table charts over to the side.
Once that’s done, we each grab a bottle of water.
“Do you want to head to the resort now?” Devney asks.
“Sure, do you mind driving? I’m beat.”
We make our way back into the car and use the directions that Oliver sent this morning since the resort isn’t on a map yet.
It’s about a thirty-minute ride and about halfway there, I dig out my phone. “I need to call my dad and check in.”
I grab my phone and dial his number. He answers, his voice is raspy. “Hello.”
“Hi, Daddy.”
“Hey, did you get there?”
“I did. Were you sleeping?”
He groans a little. “No, just had a bad night.”
“Are you okay?”
“Never . . . better. I get to see you soon.”
I smile, wishing he were here already so I could see him. “I’m really excited to see you. It’s been too long.” Six months of Linda finding one reason or another to keep me away. She has nothing this time to use as an excuse.
“Are you there yet?”
“We are. We’re heading to the resort now.”
“Good. I’m glad you made it,” he says before yawning. “I can’t wait to meet Oliver.”
A Chance for Us (Willow Creek Valley Book 4) Page 2