“What do you want from me?” Lilliah was afraid of the answer, but the question was the only one she had to ask—the only one that mattered. Why didn’t Lucifer just kill her? Why was he constantly toying with her?
“I’ve told you before, I think we can work together. To prove I’m not always the bad guy, I have a little gift for you.”
Lucifer stepped aside. Azrael was standing in the living room, staring at her with cold, red eyes.
Lilliah didn’t move at first. His red eyes told her that he still wasn’t her Azrael. He was a monster.
“Think of this as a gift. A temporary gift, but a gift nonetheless.” Lucifer waved his hand and then disappeared.
“Lilliah?”
She looked across the space, unable to stop hope from fluttering in her stomach. Blue eyes were looking back at her—Azrael’s clear blue eyes.
Chapter 21
Lilliah sprinted across the space between them and threw herself at Azrael, wrapping her arms around his neck.
“Is this real? Are you back?” She breathed in his scent, her body almost collapsing in relief when his arms encircled her waist.
“It’s me, Lilliah.”
They stayed locked together for a few minutes, holding each other.
Azrael eventually pulled back and cupped her face, holding her gaze. “I’m … I’m so sorry. I couldn’t stop any of it. I tried, but my body wouldn’t let me. I didn’t have control over anything.” He stared down at her intensely. “You have to believe I would never hurt you.”
“I know it wasn’t you.” She put her hands over his and caressed his skin. He’d only been gone for two weeks, but it felt like so much longer. So much had happened.
“I saw him hurt you. I saw him break you, and I couldn’t help. I could never—” His voice cracked and he looked away.
Azrael didn’t cry—it was something he just didn’t do—but Lilliah knew that if he did, he’d be crying now. She could see the heartbreak written on his face, in the way his eyes dimmed when they looked at her.
“No.” She pulled his face back to her. “Don’t let him do this. Don’t let him put this between us. There was nothing you could have done. Lucifer attacked us both that night.”
She didn’t want to spend this time going over things that neither of them could change, so instead of going over every painful detail and ruining their time together, Lilliah stood on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his.
“I love you so much.” She ran her fingers through his hair, memorising the feel of it. She knew this could be it. This could be the last time she was ever this close to her Azrael.
“I love you too.”
Lilliah pulled him to the sofa and sat them down. If this was their last night together, she knew exactly how she wanted to spend their time.
“Let’s just sit here. I want to cuddle you and talk. I just want us to be together.”
Azrael pulled her close. She moulded to him, her head resting on his chest. Her hand didn’t stop roaming; she wanted to touch every part of him.
“How do I get you back?” Her voice broke mid-sentence. She sniffled and tried to cough through the lump in her throat.
“You’ve been amazing, Lilliah. You’ve been brave and strong. It’s all about you.”
She lifted her head to look him in the eye. “Will the Holy Grail work?”
Azrael opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.
Lilliah’s shoulders fell in defeat. Of course it wouldn’t be that easy. “You can’t talk about that, can you?”
Azrael tried speaking, but again nothing came out. He clenched his teeth and threw his head back in anguish. “He’s using me like a puppet,” he said, spitting out the words.
Lilliah rested her head on his chest and drew small circles with her finger near the base of his throat. “He’s too strong.”
“But you’re stronger. You need to remember that. You. Are. Stronger.”
She smiled and pressed a quick kiss to his chest. Azrael would always believe in her.
She sat up. “We can’t talk about anything important—he’s clearly prevented that—so let’s just talk about something else.”
He gently leaned in and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “What do you want to talk about, angel?”
“Us. I want to pretend as if none of this has happened and that we’re just us again.” She knew how silly it must have sounded—the world was falling apart around her and she wanted to play pretend—but sitting this close to him, him actually being him, Lilliah didn’t want to waste their time. So instead of worrying and fretting over something she couldn’t change, she wanted to pretend that everything was okay. Just for now.
“I’m thinking about going back to college.” She lay down so her head was in his lap and she was looking up at his face.
“I think that’s an amazing idea. What do you want to do at college?”
“I’m not sure yet. I’d like to take English Literature again. That was one course I did like.” Lilliah closed her eyes and relaxed.
“I’m thinking about closing some of the clubs, or maybe giving them to someone else to look after.”
Lilliah frowned, not sure whether he was just playing along with her game or if he was being serious. Slowly, she opened her eyes. Azrael was still looking down at her.
“Really? Why?”
“It just doesn’t seem worth it now. I started my businesses to fill a hole inside of me. It was a way for me to exercise control, to have some sort of power. Being the last fallen angel just wasn’t enough. But now that I have you, I don’t need that other stuff.”
“You could still keep them, though? What’s the point in getting rid of them? Just let someone else deal with them.”
Azrael loved working, and Lilliah knew it. He loved making things and running them. The thought of him without his clubs just didn’t seem right. What would he do with his days?
“You’d totally need a hobby.” She bit the inside of her check to hide her smile. “Maybe you should take up tennis?”
“Tennis?” His body shook with laughter.
“Or badminton.” She shrugged. “It would be your choice, really.”
Azrael tickled her side and she squealed, kicking her legs and trying to pry him off.
She laughed. “I’m sorry! I was joking!”
“Can you really imagine me playing tennis?” He stopped his tickling, his face just above her.
“No. I can’t imagine you playing tennis.”
Azrael crashed his lips against hers, and Lilliah wrapped herself around him, her fingers plunging into his hair.
He pulled back so their lips were just grazing. “You always go for my hair when we kiss.”
“Is that a bad thing? I like your hair.” Azrael smiled down at her and ran his hands through her hair. He’d always loved her hair. He used to tell her all the time how he loved the length and how silky it was.
Lilliah kissed him again. “You know I was thinking of dying it brown? I thought people wouldn’t recognise me as much with different hair.”
Azrael sat back, putting more space between them. “Don’t change your hair. I love it just the way it is.”
“I know. I just thought they wouldn’t expect that. That they’d be looking for a blonde.” She tried to pull him back down to her, but he resisted.
“It’s not just your hair, Lilliah. They’d recognise you without it.”
She scrunched up her nose. “So no hiding then, I guess?”
Her mood had officially been ruined.
“When this is over, you won’t need to hide. I’ll make sure of that.”
“Well, isn’t this just the sweetest reunion.”
Lilliah and Azrael shot up from the sofa. Lucifer had returned.
“Stay away from her.” Azrael tried to push Lilliah behind him but she wouldn’t budge.
“I did tell you, Lilliah. This”—he waved a hand at Azrael—“was temporary. A small gift from me to you to show you how
nice I can be.”
Realising what he was talking about, Lilliah reached for Azrael. She wouldn’t let Lucifer take him away from her again. But Azrael had already vanished.
“No!” She clawed at the air where he had been standing, ready to fight for her. “Bring him back to me! Bring him back!” she screamed as loud as she could, tears blurring her vision.
“I want you to see, Lilliah. I want you to see how good I can be, but how bad I can also be.”
Lilliah first noticed the change in the breeze. The coldness hit her immediately. They were outside, in a park. She looked for anything to tell her where they were, but there was nothing. Wet grass tickled her ankles and she could hear traffic in the distance. She was probably still in London.
“Where have you brought me?” Mentally, she was drained and didn’t want to play his game anymore.
“Look over there. Such innocence, such sweet, young love.” Lucifer leaned on a nearby tree and folded his arms.
Lilliah looked at where he had pointed and her heart stopped. Jeremy—her best friend. He was walking with a girl—Sadie, she guessed—with his arm around her shoulders. They were laughing and talking, completely oblivious that they were standing so close to evil.
“What are you going to do?” Panic was building up inside her, and it only increased when Lucifer smiled. “Don’t you dare hurt him. Don’t you dare touch him.”
He pushed off the tree and clapped his hands together once. “I want you to see how bad I can be. I want you to really understand that I will take everything from you—your family, your friends, and your life if I have to. There is no winning against me. No happy ending. You’re either with me or against me.”
Lilliah watched her friend walk past them, her heart pounding in her chest. She would never side with Lucifer.
“This is your fault, Lilliah. Remember that.”
Jeremy’s body crumpled over as if someone had hit him in his stomach. He dropped to the ground. Sadie screamed and called out his name. Lilliah ran towards them as fast as she could, ignoring Lucifer as he laughed behind her.
“Jeremy? What’s wrong? Please, get up.” Sobbing, Sadie reached into her bag and retrieved her mobile.
“Jeremy?” Lilliah fell to the ground, next to his head. Blood was pouring from his nose and eyes, and his body twitched. “Can you hear me, Jeremy?”
Lilliah reached out to touch his head, but her hand went straight through.
“Oh, yes. He can’t see you.”
Lilliah tried again to hold her dying friend; she could see the life slipping away from him.
“Help him. Please, just help him. I’ll do whatever it takes. Just save him!” she cried out, trying desperately to touch him.
“Now you see, Lilliah. That’s just fear talking. As soon as the fear leaves, you will go back to plotting my demise. You need to sit on it and think.”
“Please. He’s dying!” Lilliah grabbed her hair.
Sadie was speaking to the paramedics and holding Jeremy’s hand. There was nothing she could do but watch her best friend since childhood die.
“He will die, painfully too.” Lucifer crouched beside her. “Don’t forget: this is only the beginning.”
Then he was gone, leaving Lilliah on the ground next to Jeremy and Sadie. She moved to stroke his hair, but her hand just hovered over his head.
“I’m so sorry. This is my fault. I’m so sorry. I love you.” Her tears spilled to the ground.
His chest moved up and down faster, his body still twitching.
The girl looked away and cried out, “What is happening?”
Lilliah bent down and whispered in his ear. She knew he might not be able to hear her, but it was all she could do.
She told him she was sorry. She told him she loved him and that his parents loved him. And she told him she would get revenge. She would kill Lucifer for this.
Jeremy looked at her, recognition flashing in his eyes, then he was gone.
“Lilliah. Lilliah, wake up.”
Her eyes shot open. Rebecca was looming over her.
“Jeremy,” was all she said before the tears flooded her eyes.
“Jeremy? What’s wrong with Jeremy?” Rebecca pulled Lilliah up and hugged her tightly.
“He’s dead! He’s dead. Lucifer … Lucifer killed him. I was there.” She tried to keep speaking through her sobs, but she couldn’t. All she could think about was Jeremy’s eyes and how they’d looked once the light had left them.
Rebecca rubbed her back soothingly. “It was just a dream. Jeremy is okay. It was just a dream.”
Lilliah shook her head. “It wasn’t. Lucifer killed him because he couldn’t find us. Jeremy’s dead because of me.”
Rebecca held Lilliah back, searching her face. “Sebastian!” she called out, getting up and running into the other room, leaving Lilliah to cry on the sofa. She didn’t want to talk. Even the thought of moving seemed too difficult.
Iris sat next to Lilliah on the sofa. “I’m so sorry.”
Lilliah didn’t answer her, or Sebastian when he ran in demanding answers. All she could think about was how Jeremy was lying on the cold ground, dead and alone.
Chapter 22
A week had passed since Lilliah had had her dream. An entire week since Jeremy had died. They’d gone to his funeral and had cried with his family. Benedict hadn’t wanted them to go, saying it could have been a trap.
“He’s our best friend. We need to be there. We need to say goodbye,” Rebecca had told him. She had looked so determined and so heartbroken that even Benedict couldn’t refuse her.
Jeremy’s sister and his older brother had had to hold up their mother at the gravesite. Rebecca and Lilliah had held each other up. Rebecca had been Lilliah’s rock, constantly by her side. They’d cried together when Lilliah had told her about Jeremy’s last moments.
“It’s my fault,” she’d sobbed. “He killed Jeremy because of me. He was teaching me a lesson.”
Rebecca had wiped away her own tears while holding Lilliah’s hand. “It’s not your fault. You have to listen to me. Lucifer did this. He killed Jeremy. He didn’t do it because of you. He did it because he’s evil.”
Lilliah had heard what Rebecca was saying, but she still couldn’t shake the guilt. Lucifer had chosen Jeremy because he could find him, because she hadn’t thought of putting him under the spell. She’d left him wide open for the most evil man in existence to find. No matter which way she looked at it, his death had been her fault.
Lilliah stood in front of her mirror, out of bed and dressed, with dark circles below her eyes. She couldn’t sleep, and when she did, it was only for an hour at a time. She was too afraid Lucifer would return, because she knew he would. She knew Jeremy’s death wasn’t the end.
So after what felt like days of crying, Lilliah turned her anger to something else. Something more productive.
Each day she sat on the floor of her room and practised using her powers. She closed her eyes and remembered the feeling in her stomach, the pressure building bit by bit. Then it would vanish. And she’d start again. Each time she did it, the feeling of power lasted that little bit longer. Lilliah knew she was getting close, but it needed to be faster.
People had come in to check on her, everyone asking her how she was, and she replied to them all the same way.
“I’m fine. Any news on Lucifer?”
And each answer was the same. “Not that I know of.” They either didn’t want to tell her, or Lucifer had gone into hiding. Then they would leave. Sebastian had tried to sit with her for a while, just like he had done when she had been crying.
“I don’t want you to overdo it,” he had said, grabbing her hand and holding it tightly as they both sat on the floor, their backs resting on the side of the bed.
“I’m not,” she had told him honestly. To her, it felt like she was doing nothing while everyone worked around her. “I thought I’d have them back by now. Why is this taking so long?”
“Your powers
are coming back,” he reminded her gently. “I was talking to Benedict and Caleb, and they said trying to control your powers could take years.”
Years. Lilliah shuddered at the word. She didn’t have years. She barely had days.
Sebastian had decided to leave her to it, as he put it. But he came in to check on her with food every few hours. Just like everyone else.
The only other person who stayed in the room with Lilliah was Rebecca. She would lie on the bed and not speak as Lilliah practised. Lilliah didn’t find her presence annoying or off-putting; instead, it helped. It was as if she could draw from Rebecca’s sadness as well as her own.
But Rebecca wasn’t with Lilliah now; Lilliah was alone and her powers still weren’t working. She stood up and stretched her legs. She could hear the others in the living room. Benedict’s voice boomed over everyone else’s. Benedict. That was who she needed.
Taking a deep breath, she walked out of the room for the first time in days. Nobody stopped talking, but they all acknowledged she was there with a single nod or a look. Caleb and Iris were sitting on the sofa, and Benedict was walking around, papers in hand. Rebecca was in the kitchen, leaning on the counter and staring off into space, with Sebastian by her side and the kettle boiling in the background.
Lilliah walked over to sit on the sofa. “Benedict? Any news?”
“He’s been busy, all right.” Benedict handed her a pile of papers.
Lilliah flicked through them, just reading the names at the top.
“They’re all e-mails I’ve received over the past week from werewolves, vampires, witches, and warlocks. They all want protection from Lucifer.” Benedict crouched down in front of her until they were at eye level. “If you’re not ready for this, then just let me know. I told Rebecca the same. We can do this without you for a little while longer.”
Lilliah shook her head. She needed to know more—maybe it would help with her own training? Lucifer had to be found and sent back to Hell before he could kill anyone else.
“I told you, we’re both ready,” Rebecca answered for her. She walked from the kitchen carrying two cups of tea. “We just need to know what to do.”
Ruthless (The Seraphim Series Book 2) Page 22