Chapter Thirty
Gavin
Something was wrong with Becca. I was sure of it. Saturday night after the party, she went right up to bed and was already asleep by the time I got there. She didn’t respond to me at all when I pulled her into my arms.
By the time I woke up the next morning, she was already packing up her stuff.
“Hey, leaving without me?” I rolled over, watching her pack.
She smiled, but it seemed forced. “No, I just want to make sure we can leave right after breakfast. I’d love to have some time at home today.”
“Okay… I’ll get up.”
“Good. Okay, I’ll see you downstairs.” She headed to the door.
“Wait. Don’t I at least get a kiss good morning?”
She walked back over to the bed and kissed me on the cheek.
“Nuh uh, you can do better than that.” I grabbed her around the waist to pull her down next to me. Usually this would have her squealing with laugher. Instead, she went stone still and just looked at me.
I kissed her, but she was obviously not into it, so I stopped. I hoped it was just anxiety to get back home, but I wasn’t sure.
Thanks to Becca’s insistence, we got an early start, and we were back in Clayton Falls by midafternoon. I figured it was a good thing. We’d finally be able to spend some time alone. As I turned the corner toward the Mathews’s house, I decided to ask her the question I’d been mulling over all weekend.
“I was thinking that it might be nice if you didn’t have to always run your stuff back and forth.”
“It’s not a big deal.”
“We only have a few more weeks before you leave, and I’d rather not spend nights apart just because you don’t want to worry about having the right stuff with you or anything. Wouldn’t it be better to have everything at my place?”
“It’s just a few weeks…there’s no reason to change things.” She looked away from me.
I pulled up along the curb. “Becca, I want you to. Don’t you want to?”
“I can’t do this.”
“Do what? Move your stuff?”
“This. It’s moving way too fast, which is dumb since I’m leaving.”
“What’s too fast?”
“You asking me to move in, or whatever.”
“I just thought it would be fun. We only have a few weeks seeing each other every day. Let’s make the most of it.”
“Is that all it is?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I let the engine idle.
“I’m not what you’re looking for. I don’t just want to be someone’s wife and give up my life.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me. Don’t play dumb.”
I could feel my temper flaring, and I snapped. “I don’t recall asking you to be my wife.”
She looked like I’d slapped her.
“Let’s end this while we’re ahead. It wouldn’t have worked out anyway,” she said coldly.
“What the hell?” I slammed my hands on the steering wheel. “What’s going on?”
“I have dreams, Gavin, and just because you don’t want to follow yours, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t follow mine.” She stared down at her hands as she said it, unwilling to even meet my eye.
“Oh, so I’m somehow inferior to you because I’m actually happy with my life?”
“Not inferior, just different. Too different from me. If you’re happy spending your life as a cop in freaking Mayberry, that’s fine with me, but I need to get back to the real world.” She opened her door and got out, but I couldn’t move. I just sat there as she pulled out her bag from the back and slammed the door.
She glanced back at me once before walking up the driveway, but I didn’t leave. I don’t think I moved for twenty minutes. I couldn’t process what had just happened. She’d dumped me on the grounds that I was somehow not good enough for her. I only had one word for her in that moment and it wasn’t one I was proud to say.
I drove home, stopping by Tom’s house to pick up Max.
“Hey, man, how was the weekend?” Tom asked when he opened the door.
“Don’t ask,” I barked, pushing inside past him. “Where is he?”
“Out back. Are you okay?”
“Okay? No, that’s not the right word. I’m going to get my damn dog and go home.”
“What happened?” Kelly walked into the room with Max on her tail.
“Nothing, nothing fucking happened.”
“Hey, don’t talk to Kelly that way.”
“I was just leaving. Thanks for watching him.” I opened the front door knowing Max would follow. I didn’t bother waiting to get his stuff. I had extras of everything at home.
I gunned the engine pulling out of the driveway. I didn’t want to watch Tom and his wife, while I was once again the sorry loser with no one.
Part of me still couldn’t believe we’d just had that fight, and I half expected to see Becca sitting on my front step when I pulled in. My steps were empty. I went inside and poured myself a drink. What the hell had just happened? How had our conversation gone from her moving in to her breaking it off?
Hours later, I calmed down enough to realize that something had to have happened in Augusta, but there was nothing I could do if she wouldn’t talk to me about it. No, this wasn’t my fault. She was the one who’d have to apologize if we were ever getting over it. But I knew the chances of that were doubtful, especially with her leaving so soon. I thought about taking a ride over to Gill’s, but Ronny would probably be there. I couldn’t handle him gloating.
I hadn’t felt so low in a long time—not since Dawn left. I stayed away from northern girls for a reason.
Chapter Thirty-One
Becca
I felt like I’d been kicked in the stomach, even though I was the one who made the decision to end it. I had already decided to let our relationship fade out when I left, but I’d planned to enjoy the last few weeks we had. Then he’d asked me to move in. It scared me. It would just make leaving harder. When I tried to explain it, Gavin reminded me that he hadn’t proposed, and it just confused me more. I didn’t know what terrified me more: Gavin wanting to move things forward or him deciding he was done with me. I don’t know what came over me, but cruel words flew out of my mouth. I pretty much called him a loser. I should have taken it back or tried to apologize, but I couldn’t. The expression on his face let me know it was too late. I just got out of the car and walked away.
I didn’t sleep at all that night and dragged myself into work in the morning.
“Hi, Becca. How was your weekend? You went home with Gavin, didn’t you?” the older Mr. Morgan greeted me.
“It was fine. Thanks for asking.”
“Would it be okay if we had a talk? This is your last full week of work.”
Here it came—the evaluation.
I followed Jim into his office where Matt already sat. He smiled at me as I took a seat in the chair next to him.
“We’ve both been very impressed with your work this summer, Becca. You’ve handled everything professionally and we’re prepared to offer you a position here if it’s something you’re interested in.”
Was he really offering me a job? Obviously, there was no way I was taking it, but it was still cool.
“But, I also realize that you are more interested in other areas of the law, and I happen to know of a position that might be a better fit.”
“Really?”
“I’m not sure if you know it, but I went to law school with the DA in New Hanover County.”
“Really?” Now this was getting interesting.
“I know they have positions to fill next year, and I would be happy to put in a good word for you if you’d be willing to relocate down here. I’m not sure if you have any other reasons to move…” I knew he was talking about Gavin, and I tried to ignore the pang I felt just thinking about him.
“Wow. Thank you. That’s really something to think about it.”
<
br /> “You do that, and let me know, okay?”
“Definitely, thank you so much.” At least something positive was coming out of the summer. “I really appreciate you giving me the opportunity to work for you this summer. It’s been a wonderful experience.”
“It was our pleasure, and I hope this won’t be the last we see of you.”
I smiled. “I’ll definitely let you know what I decide about the job.” Just thinking about coming back to visit Clayton Falls depressed me. Now that Gavin and I had broken up, the chance of that was zero even if I did take a job in Wilmington.
***
I let my phone go to voicemail three times before I finally picked up. “What’s going on?” the voice on the other end of the phone demanded. I hadn’t recognized the number and was a little shocked by the reception.
“Who is this?”
“It’s Brody, and I really wish someone would fill me in here.”
“Brody? How’d you get my number?”
“You gave it to my mom, remember?”
“Oh.”
“Oh? I really want to give you the benefit of the doubt here, but all I know is that somehow in the few days since you guys left, you’ve managed to dump my brother.”
“Yeah. I messed up.”
“Messed up? So you didn’t mean to? I’m really not getting it.”
“I got scared and said things I didn’t mean.”
“Then go apologize. He’s miserable, and you don’t sound so great yourself.”
“Does he know you’re calling me?”
“Of course not. This is about what we talked about, isn’t it?”
“It started off that way.”
“What do you want? I think, in the end, that’s what you have to figure out.”
I could not believe I was being lectured on relationships by my ex-boyfriend’s younger brother.
“I want Gavin. I can’t stop thinking about him.”
“Then tell him. He wants you too. You’re both just being stubborn idiots.”
“I can’t face him.”
“Sure, you can. Call him, or hell, write him a letter for all I care. Just do something. If you don’t, I’m coming there myself.”
“Is that a threat?” I couldn’t help laughing a little.
“Absolutely. It’s not that I really care about Gavin’s love life, but he seemed happy for the first time in years, and I don’t think he can take getting his heart broken again—especially over something as stupid as your insecurities.”
“Hey! Who are you to talk to me this way?”
“Someone has to, and you don’t have a brother to do it. Okay?”
“Okay.” There was actually something refreshing about that phone call, as bizarre as it sounds. I guess sometimes it helps when someone points out the obvious.
The more I thought about it, the more the idea of writing a letter appealed. It couldn’t hurt. Maybe we could salvage something.
After hanging up with Brody, I dug out a legal pad and wrote a letter. I folded it up and searched around for an envelope. Giving up, I ended up asking Mrs. Mathews for one. She didn’t ask what I needed it for, and I didn’t tell her.
I drove over to Gavin’s when I knew he was still at work and made myself get out of the car and slip the envelope under his door mat. Hopefully, he’d at least read it.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Gavin
I saw something white sticking out from under the door mat when I got home from work. I swiped it before walking inside. It was late, but as soon as I realized who it was from, I woke up right away. I made Max wait while I read the letter.
Dear Gavin,
I know this probably seems very middle school, but I didn’t have the nerve to call you. I’m sorry. I never should have said the things I did. I was scared, and I took it out on you. There’s nothing wrong with your life or what you do. I’m the one who’s going nowhere. I hope you’ll forgive me eventually and maybe even look back on what we had fondly.
All the best,
Becca
It wasn’t the most amazing apology letter ever, but it was what I needed to hear. I changed, taking Max to do his business out front before rushing him back inside. He could wait for a walk. I locked up and got right in the car.
I knocked on her door, impatient when I didn’t get an answer. I knocked again—still nothing. Damn it, where could she be?
“She’s not here.” Mr. Mathews came out his back door.
“Oh. Do you know where she is?” I hadn’t bothered to check if her car was out front.
“She went down to the beach.”
“At night?”
“She asked to borrow a flashlight. That’s all I know.”
“Thanks.” I got back in my car and headed to the beach.
I noticed her car parked about a block away. I smiled. She was making sure to avoid a ticket this time. I parked right behind her car.
I got out and jogged the rest of the distance. Now that I got it in my head to talk to her, I didn’t want to wait.
She stood right at the shoreline looking up at the sky.
“Nice night out, huh?”
She turned around, and I got my first look at her face. She’d been crying. “Hi, I guess you read my letter.” She looked down.
“Yes. Thank you for it. I probably should have just come to talk to you sooner.”
“I’m the one who started it.” She looked up at me like she was afraid of what she’d see.
I couldn’t stand to watch her so upset. I closed the distance between us, pulling her into a hug. “I’ve missed you.”
“Me too.”
“Do you think you can get out of work a little early tomorrow? I need to go somewhere, and I want you to come with me.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely. And I promise it has nothing to do with my family.”
“Gavin, I’m—”
“You already apologized. Just say you’ll come.”
“Okay.”
We walked down the beach together, and I resisted the urge to invite her home with me. I wanted to, but I needed to wait.
***
Becca always looked so good dressed up. I picked her up right after work, and she was still in a fitted skirt and a blue button-down shirt. She definitely seemed to wear blue more now.
“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” she asked as I drove us out of town. “You’re dressed up, so I’m getting a bit apprehensive.”
I guess a dress shirt and slacks were pretty dressed up for me.
“We’re going to a game.”
“A game?”
“A baseball game.”
“Are you being intentionally vague?”
“Maybe a little.”
“Is everything okay?” She put a hand on my leg. “You seem stressed.”
“Yeah, I’m just anxious about something.”
“You’re not still mad at me, right?”
I looked over at her. I’d missed her more than I wanted to admit. “No. I was never really mad, just upset.”
“That’s not much better.”
“Well, I’ve upset you too. I guess we’re even.” I put a hand on her leg this time.
“Is this a special game? I assume by the direction we’re headed that we’re going to a Durham Bull’s game, but I doubt you’d dress up for just a regular ball game…”
“Yeah, you can say that.”
“Okay, keep your secrets.”
I laughed. “It’s not a big deal, Becca. It’s just a game I said I’d go to, and I wanted you to come with me. I thought you might want to see where I played.”
“I definitely do!” I loved that she was actually excited. She wasn’t making it up.
“Okay, good.”
I got off at an exit I hadn’t used in years and headed into Raleigh. We had a few hours before the game, just enough time to grab some dinner. I knew exactly where to take her.
“This used to be my go-t
o place for a steak. It wasn’t as good as my favorite place back home, but it helped get me through my years here.”
“Sounds good.”
I parked at the Angus Barn, and we walked in. I couldn’t help noticing the way every guy in there checked her out. I wasn’t sure I’d ever get used to the attention Becca attracted. She seemed oblivious to it. I loved that about her. We were seated in the corner, and Becca barely looked at her menu before setting it down.
“You know what you want already?”
“Just order me whatever you get.”
“Seriously?”
“Completely. You talked the steak up so much. I’m going to have to try it.”
She squinted a little. It was nice to see her back in challenge mode. “Okay, if you think you can eat it.”
“I can. I skipped lunch so I could leave early. I’m starved.”
“You skipped lunch? Why didn’t you pick something up?” She was thin enough; skipping meals was not cool.
“I was trying to finish up my last project. Today was my last day.”
“But you don’t leave until next week…”
“The Morgans told me to take it off and they’re insisting on paying me anyway. Kind of crazy. I was going to just head home, but now…” She trailed off, but I knew what she meant.
“Don’t leave this weekend.”
“Okay.” She bit her bottom lip. I hadn’t noticed her doing that in a while.
I ordered for us both and waited to see how she’d do.
I laughed to myself when the waiter set down her steak in front of her. It had to be at least thirty-two ounces.
“Here goes nothing,” she mumbled before starting to eat.
She tackled it. She didn’t actually finish, but she got close. We barely talked while we ate. She was too determined.
She wiped her face with a napkin. “You were right. That is good.”
I laughed. “I know. Are you ready?”
“Yes, but I’m not sure if I can move.”
“Sure, you can.” I paid the bill, and we walked out.
We got back on the interstate, and I headed toward Durham. Turning off, I took the long route to the stadium, deciding to drive past my old loft. I always picked lofts.
Veer (Clayton Falls) Page 18