“We’re catching up, remember?”
Eye roll. “Fine… who are you seeing?”
“Nobody.” He tells me without pause and sips his drink as soon as the waiter places it on the table along with mine.
“Nobody?” I find that hard to believe, though he looks to be telling the truth. Not that I can claim to be an excellent judge as to when he’s lying.
“Who are you seeing?”
I open my mouth, Silas’ name on the tip of my tongue, but, before I can stop myself, I lie. “Nobody.”
Why? Why would I say that?
I try to tell myself that it’s because I know Isaac will give me a rough time and make this divorce even harder if he finds out, but I’m pretty sure that my own excuses are lies also.
“Why don’t I believe you?”
I shrug. “I don’t have time to date, Isaac. I work hard; I study hard; I never miss classes.”
Stop! Stop! Stop!
He smiles softly at me. “You should be proud of yourself.”
“I am.” I find myself smiling back.
“What are your plans after you graduate?”
“I’m not sure. I’d like to buy a few places and fix them up, get myself on the property ladder. My main goal is to get an apprenticeship with one of the greatest architects in the world.”
“That’s amazing, Elle. I’m so happy you haven’t lost your drive.” He rests back and eyes me warmly. “But if that’s the case, then why don’t you want the house in the divorce?”
I open my mouth to respond but I can’t think of a reason to give him that makes sense. “I’m… I’m not totally sure. I haven’t contributed anything to the mortgage in the past five years. It’d feel wrong taking something that I haven’t worked for.” I sip my wine and run my finger along the rim of the glass. “I just want to get this over and done with.”
Pain mixed with guilt flashes through his eyes and I instantly feel bad. Before I can apologise, the waiter is back with our food but I’m not so hungry anymore.
We eat in near silence, making little more than small talk. This is bad. I need to bring up the papers but I’m scared that if I push him he’ll make it harder for me.
“How long are you in town for?” He asks just as I finish my plate.
“I was hoping to be back in Cambridge tonight.”
“But you can stay another day?”
I pinch my lips together. “I’ve got a lot to get on with.” I pull out the spare papers from my bag. “So I’d really appreciate it if you’d just sign these.”
“I will.” He says and I want to cheer. “After breakfast tomorrow.” I almost choke on my drink. “I want you to visit with my dad before you leave, and my mum, and then I’ll sign.”
“You’re a little shit,” I tell him and he lets out a bark of startled laughter. “I won’t be blackmailed.”
“Whoa,” he holds his hands up defensively. “It’s a trade, not a blackmail. You have my word that I’ll sign tomorrow.”
My glare bores into him. Though his look is soft, it doesn’t soothe me.
“Please,” he asks kindly. “It would mean a lot.”
“Fine.” I stuff the papers back into my bag. “I’ll play your game, but you have to promise me you’ll sign these.”
New Elle wouldn’t normally acquiesce so easily, but seeing Judith and John again will help me sleep better at night. I wanted to visit before now but after what John said to me, I’ve always been too nervous to just show up and I felt it wouldn’t be fair to Isaac if I didn’t distance myself.
He grins wickedly and takes my hand over the table. “I promise.”
Isaac
She pulls her hand away as if I’ve burned her but I could not care less at this point. I feel high and happy. Maybe I shouldn’t be playing this dangerous game, but she just admitted she was never seeing Damon, which means she was never over me so suddenly after we parted. I’m not sure why this makes me happy; I just know it does and I want more of this sensation.
My phone vibrates with a message. It’s my dad asking when or if I’m going to be home.
Part of me hopes I’m not home tonight, but the more rational part of me knows that it’s unlikely to happen.
“You seem lost,” Elle says, her voice a soft rasp. “Everything okay?”
I put my phone away. “Just my dad.”
“Does he know I’m here?”
“Yes.”
“Does he want to see me?”
“You are family, Elle. He’ll always want to see you.”
She gives me a look of disbelief. “After everything your dad said to me, I highly doubt that.”
“It was a long time ago. He regretted it the same day he said it.” Although I’m not entirely sure what was said as my dad never went too much into detail. I do know that he wanted to apologise badly and probably still does to this day.
Her arms fold over her chest, pushing her breasts up and together. They’re bigger than they were four years ago. She notices me looking and frowns but says nothing. “Why didn’t he call then?”
“Why didn’t you?”
She shuts her mouth and sits back in her seat.
I add after a moment, “I told him not to call you.” Hurt flashes through her eyes, hurt that she doesn’t deserve to feel. “I didn’t want anyone holding you back. Despite what you probably believe, I did love and care about you.”
She swallows and bites onto her lower lip. Her eyes cast a mournful stare at the table and I want to reach over and take it away.
“I’m sorry for the pain I caused you.” I’m about to reach over to touch her hand again, but I’m interrupted by the sound of her phone ringing from her pocket.
She ignores it.
It rings again.
I quirk a brow. “Aren’t you going to get that?”
Sighing, she pulls it from her pocket and cringes. “Hi, Dad.” I immediately tense. Bad memories revolving around him flood my mind - getting stabbed, being verbally berated and abused for months in a job I hated and then I sold my relationship with Eloise to him. I fucking hate myself right now. Looking back, I realise how lucky I was. Eloise, though young and naïve at times, was good to me and my family. I treated her like shit. She deserved so much better. “I’m just out to dinner… yes… with Isaac.” She turns away as if to gain a little bit of privacy. “We’re discussing the divorce.”
I hear her father yell, “Hallelujah!” And instantly want to hit him.
“Don’t be an idiot. I have to go.” She smiles when he says something I can’t hear. “I love you too. I’ll be home soon.” She hangs up the phone and looks back at me. “I’m sorry about that.”
I wave her off. If only she knew, she wouldn’t be saying she was sorry at all. She wouldn’t even be here with me.
Her head tilts to the side as her warm eyes scan my face, “Are you okay? You suddenly look really pale.”
I nod and wink at her, loving the way her cheeks pink. “I’m good.” She doesn’t seem to take my word for it but she doesn’t push either.
She checks the clock on the wall behind me. “Would you mind dropping me off at my parents’?”
“You have plans?”
“Well seeing as I’ve been persuaded to stay the night, I’m going to join a few friends for drinks after watching a movie with my mum.”
I nod, wishing we didn’t have to end our meeting here. “Do you have to go now?”
It’s selfish of me to prolong this but I’m enjoying her company. It’s completely innocent; I just forgot until now how comfortable I’ve always felt around her.
“I really should head back now.” She drains the last of her drink and places it on the table. “Thank you for lunch, though, and for making this amicable.”
“No problem.”
Eloise stays quiet for a lot of the journey back to her parents’ house. I don’t blame her. This is slightly awkward; it has been so long.
I always wondered what it would be like when we saw each other again.
Would we fall straight back into our easy comfort like before?
Clearly that isn’t the case, despite the fact we seemed so at ease over lunch.
It stings a little that she’s so eager and quick to leave me. Of course I don’t blame her for it, it’s just not the nicest feeling in the world. I’m not even sure why it is that I’m making her stay. I just feel as though I’ll regret it if I don’t get to spend a bit more time with her, especially since we both so easily vanished from each other’s lives for four years.
Why didn’t I call? I should have called.
I know that our marriage fell apart but she deserved more from me than total silence. Or maybe that was the best thing I could have done for her. It certainly felt that way at the time.
The more I look back, the less I see any of her faults. She stood by me at my worst. She should have left me but instead I left her.
I was a horrible person to her. Horrible.
“What’s wrong?” Eloise asks, concern swimming in those beautiful green eyes.
I plaster on a smile and shake my head. “Nothing. Just lost in thought.”
Her returning smile is warm. We take a right onto her parents’ street and I hate the way my heart deflates. I left her and I’ve barely spared her a thought in four years.
And now here she is, grown up and even more beautiful than I can remember, and I don’t have anything to say.
There’s literally nothing I can say. She deserves better than me. She always did.
“I’ll call you in the morning,” she says as I slow to a stop at the end of the long driveway leading up to one of the largest houses in town.
I grab her hand before she can leave and her eyes fly to where we’re connected. Her hand is soft and warm under my own and so dainty. She doesn’t move but I notice a flush break out over her cheeks and wonder if she’s still as affected by me as she used to be.
Eloise
I stare at the hand gripping my own before raising my eyes to meet Isaac’s. He seems startled and dazed. “Is something wrong?”
He clears his throat and removes his hand from mine. “I just wanted to thank you. For agreeing to see my parents before you go back. You don’t owe me anything.”
My breath catches in my throat. I’m not sure what to say so I only nod and climb from the car. Has he forgotten that he’s basically blackmailing me with the divorce?
Instead of saying this, I wave at him over my shoulder and walk along my driveway. A smart person chooses their battles wisely and right now is not the appropriate time to go head to head with him.
My mum has opened the door and is smiling warmly at me. Her eyes move to Isaac’s car and her smile falters. She says nothing as I step past her and into the hall.
“Is Dad here?”
“He’s just taking a call in our room.”
Of course he is. He is always taking a call from somebody.
Her gaze lingers on me as we head into the kitchen. I can see the question brimming in her eyes.
I drop my bag onto the worktop in the kitchen and stroll over to the fridge. “I’m staying the night, if that’s okay?”
“Definitely. Stay forever.”
I snort as my eyes scan the shelves of food and drinks. I take out the apple juice and Mum hands me a glass when I turn.
“What happened? Did he sign? Should I plan a divorce party?”
I cringe. “Really? People have those?”
She shrugs and watches me like a hawk as I sip my drink and lean casually against the side.
“Why are you staring at me? It’s weird… stop it.”
“What was it like? Seeing him again?”
Blink. “Fine.”
“You don’t feel anything?”
She’s worried that I slept with him. I can tell by the tone in her voice. “Mum, we had lunch. We caught up. He dropped me off.”
“So why didn’t he sign?”
“He wants me to see Mr and Mrs Price before I go back.”
She rolls her eyes. “Sure he does…”
“Mum!”
“Don’t let him suck you back in. Remember how messy it was last time. Remember how you felt. Remember how he made you feel.”
I watch as rain begins to splatter against the window behind my mother. I try to count the droplets as a way to remove myself from this conversation, mostly because I hate the fact that she’s right. I need to stay strong and impartial to everything that is Isaac.
“What was he like? How did he react when he saw you?”
“Mum, stop being nosey.”
She smiles apologetically. “I can’t help it. It’s awful but it’s so interesting.”
“You’re so weird.” I snigger and down the rest of my drink before placing the glass in the sink.
My dad steps into the room looking clean and crisp in a grey suit. His greying hair is pushed back and his warm eyes crinkle with a smile. He pulls me into a tight hug and doesn’t let go until he’s satisfied that I haven’t taken a breath for long enough to make me dizzy.
I laugh and wobble back to the counter. “Hey Dad.”
“Did he sign?” He asks animatedly.
“I’m good, thank you. How are you?” I respond flatly. It’s no secret that my dad hates my ‘soon-to-be’ ex-husband. He’s made him the pun of many jokes over the years.
Surprisingly he doesn’t think much of Silas either. I think my dad just has a problem with me seeing any man, period.
Luckily, no matter how overbearing he can be, I love him. And even luckier, I no longer live with him so I only get his attitude in small doses.
“We aren’t talking about Isaac or the divorce.” I raise my hand and give him a firm look that lets him know I’m not playing around. “I will go home.”
“No problem, my lips are sealed.” He runs his fingers over the seam of his lips to further prove his words. “What are your plans?”
“I am going to meet up with Hayley and Tyler for a few.”
“So dinner isn’t possible?”
I shake my head apologetically. “Unfortunately not. I just ate lunch. Mum and I are watching a movie soon with snacks.”
“I’m in,” he replies before I can even offer.
Mum groans, obviously looking forward to some girl talk. I’m relieved; the last time we ‘enjoyed’ a girls’ night in, and I use the word ‘enjoyed’ loosely, she got tipsy and decided to give me a sex talk. According to her my dad is…
Christ…
I can’t even think it. It’s gross.
I hate her for that.
“We didn’t invite you,” she adds, scowling at her husband who just smiles back at her and reaches around to pinch her butt.
“Gross,” I gag dramatically and move into the living room. “I have to polish an assignment off. Make yourselves useful and fetch me a beverage.”
A tea towel hits me in the back of my head as I’m leaving the kitchen. Giggle.
“Why didn’t you ever have another kid?” I ask as I sit on a cushion on the ground in front of my mum who is sitting on the couch. She pulls my hair back and braids it before releasing the braid and starting again. I love having my hair played with.
“Because you were a nightmare,” my mum says. “And I was too selfish to have another. I couldn’t handle being pregnant or handle a baby when you were a toddler.”
“You were a little shit.” My dad agrees.
“And by the time you calmed down, you were in full time school. There was no way I was starting again.”
My dad looks at me from his prone position on the other couch to the left. “She used to cry herself to sleep at night until you turned three.”
“I wasn’t that bad,” I pout but I really was. I was a spoilt little git according to everyone who knew me as a child. I remember being naughty, even now. The tantrums I’d throw to get the toy I wanted, the way I’d speak to my mum… I was horrid.
I am the reason that I don’t want kids.
“It’s
your fault though. You always gave in. I still remember thinking that if I cried I’d get what I wanted. It always worked.”
My dad grins and nods to my mum. “I didn’t give in. She did.”
“Please,” I snort. “You were worse than she was. I didn’t have to cry to get what I wanted; I just said I wanted it and you got it. At least she tried to say no.”
He opens his mouth to argue but quickly shuts it again. He knows I’m right.
“I’m going to make your hair greasy,” my mum says, pulling my hair free.
“I don’t care. That’s what shampoo is for.” I rest back against her knees and tilt my head back until she comes into view. She pinches my nose and shoves me off her. My dad seems to find this hilarious.
Huffing, I take the seat beside her and try to focus on the movie.
I love my parents. They’re great parents and it doesn’t matter how old I get, I’ll always need them.
In small doses.
I’ll always need them in small doses.
Isaac
I smooth my hair back and stare at myself in the mirror. I wonder if she noticed my greys, or the fact I’ve lost weight. I wonder if she noticed how tired and bored I look. Does she know that I’ve missed her every single day? Would she care?
When did I become so insecure about my looks again?
Sighing gravely, I pull the box out of the bag and walk into the room. “Dad?”
He takes one look at the embarrassed expression on my face, one look at the box of light blonde hair dye in my hand and doubles over with laughter.
Chapter Five
Eloise
Hayley, who coloured her hair an amazing copper brown over the past few weeks, pulls me in for the tightest hug. It’s sad that it has been almost five months since we last saw each other. That’s life though.
“I’ve missed you,” She says as we hold each other tightly in the middle of the pub.
“I’ve missed you so much more,” I respond and pull back so I can hug her partner, Tyler.
He’s so handsome and charming. It’s rare that you find a man at our age who is so well put together, mature yet fun. He really brings out the best in Hayley, not to mention he has the strangest, yet most wonderful green eyes I’ve ever seen. It’s a light shade, like the colour jade. They hide things. I’m sure pf it. Hayley hasn’t said much but I know that this man has his secrets, as do we all, I suppose.
Distinction: The Distraction Trilogy #3 Page 4