Taking a few calming breaths, I relax my mind and body and listen to the radio. Isaac seems to be stuck trying to make conversation and I don’t blame him. I’m not being the most sociable person right now.
Feeling guilty, I turn slightly in my seat and glance at his profile. I open my mouth but nothing comes to mind, therefore no words come out.
“This was the street where I saved your idiotic arse,” he points out.
I look through the windows of the car and smile. He’s right. “I forgot about that. That was the first time we met.”
“I was disappointed.”
“Huh?”
He clears his throat and slows as the traffic lights in the distance begin to change. He seems to have done that at every light we’ve come across. It’s almost as if he’s trying to drag this car ride out. “When I saw you in my class when term began, I was disappointed.”
“Why?”
“When I first saved you I’d only come down to visit and make a decision on whether or not to stay.”
“You’ve never told me this before.”
“There are a lot of things I never told you.” He seems truly regretful over this admission. “I hate myself for that.”
“What’s done is done,” I say, a little more harshly than intended. I don’t want him to continue. I don’t want to hear his confessions now when they’re useless. I should have heard them years ago. “It’s pointless going over it.”
He blows out a breath. “I guess so.”
We arrive at his parent’s house and my nerves skyrocket again. I don’t even realise that Isaac is out of the car until he pulls open my door and holds a hand out to me. He must think I’ve become so stuck up. This isn’t the case; I was just so spaced out I wasn’t paying attention.
I take his hand whilst worrying my lip with my teeth. My eyes remain on the home that is so familiar to me.
“Are you okay?” Isaac’s fingers press the underside of my chin and guide me until my eyes are focusing on his. “Do you need a minute?”
If I did, it’s a little bit late now.
I shake my head and step around him, hating how his close proximity reminds me of so many things I don’t need to be thinking about.
“Let’s go and see John.” I’m brave enough to take the first step towards the house.
John opens the door only seconds later. He looks so happy to see me but that quickly vanishes and in its place I see nervousness. It breaks my heart a little at the same time as it makes me feel light and airy. He must be getting lonely here now Isaac has moved out of town.
“Hey,” I grin as I make my way to him with a box full of pastries and treats in my hands that we picked up on the way. I shift it to one arm and hug him in the doorway before he leads me inside. “I brought your old favourites.”
“Thank you, Eloise.” He takes them and leads me into the room.
We sit awkwardly, both of us not sure what to say. On one hand I’m happy to see him; it’s a huge weight off my shoulders. On the other hand, I’m still hurt by the things he said.
As if sensing my thoughts, he leans forward. “I was awful to you.”
I shrug, but it’s not forgiveness. He really was awful to me. “It’s done.”
“It was none of my business. I shouldn’t have gotten involved and I certainly shouldn’t have taken sides. You deserved more from me than that.”
“It was a difficult situation.”
“I’m sorry, Eloise.” He says sincerely. “From the bottom of my heart.”
I exhale and reach forward to pat his hand. Again, it isn’t forgiveness but I’d like to try and mend things. I immediately notice the chessboard folded away underneath the table between the couch and the armchair. Nothing about this house so far has changed.
I grin, wanting to change the subject, so I reach under the table and snag the board. “Just like old times?”
“Exactly.” He fixes me with a warm grin, relief swimming in his familiar blue eyes.
“You’re not going to win.” I state mischievously and kick my shoes off so I can tuck my legs beneath me.
“Coffee?” Isaac’s voice comes from the doorway.
I move my first pawn and John moves his. We both stare at the board, plotting movements, though it’s a little bit tough to do at this point because only the pawns or the knights can be moved.
“Would you like coffee?” Isaac asks again.
I shake my head. “I quit coffee a couple of months ago.”
“Why?”
Shrug. “It stopped working for me; seemed like a waste of calories.”
Isaac lets out a bark of laughter. “You’re watching your calories now?”
My eyes narrow as I tense. How does he get to me so easily? “I’m not eighteen anymore. The weight doesn’t fall off and stay off like it used to.”
“Thank god,” he mutters suggestively, his eyes on my legs.
I roll mine back to the board and wait for John to make his next move. “But I’d love a water if you have any.”
Isaac leaves the room and returns moments later with a bottle for me. I take it, open it and have a sip before returning to my game.
“How much are we betting this time?” Isaac asks his dad as he claims the seat beside me on the couch and rests his elbows on his knees.
“Your odds?”
Isaac leans closer to get a better look at my next move. “Fifty says she wins.”
“You’re on.” John agrees.
Neither of them notice how badly my mood just dropped. I want to turn and shake Isaac. Is he crazy? He had a gambling addiction and here he is betting on stuff. Even if it is just for fun, he shouldn’t be participating.
What if he isn’t over his addiction? Panic lances through me but I stamp it down. It’s not my business. It certainly isn’t my problem.
“How is university?” John asks kindly.
“Great. Hopefully I’m graduating top of my class.”
“You’re talented and clever. It doesn’t surprise me.” John says at exactly the same time Isaac says, “That’s amazing, Eloise. I’m so proud of you.”
I flush and let my hair fall as a barrier between us as I collect myself. After a moment I turn towards him. “What about you? You’re teaching in Boston now?”
He nods. “I love it.”
Of course he does. “I’m sorry I ever took it away from you.”
He visibly cringes and opens his mouth to speak, probably to agree.
John cuts him off and my eyes shoot to my board. “Check.”
“You cheated,” I cry. “Your rook wasn’t there last move!”
“It ruddy well was.” He says indignantly and puffs his chest out. “That was my last move.”
“You are full of it Jonathan Price… full… of… it. You moved your knight last turn.”
Isaac watches our exchange with amusement. I hate the pang of nostalgia that I feel.
John wins this time. Isaac loses fifty but he doesn’t seem to mind too much. It’s his own fault for gambling.
Time flies and I find it’s too easy to slip back into our routine. We sit, we eat delicious food cooked by John and we laugh and joke as if a day hasn’t gone by since we last saw each other. The only person missing from it all is Isaac’s mum, Judith. We haven’t spoken about her much beyond bringing up a few memories of her past. I had hoped to see her before I went but time is getting on.
“I have to leave soon,” I say, checking the time. It’s just after two. “Long drive back.”
“You should stay the night,” John suggests and Isaac shifts in his seat. I’m surprisingly tempted to stay, purely so I don’t lose this happiness that I’m feeling, but I have to refuse.
“I’ll drive us to mum’s.” Isaac interrupts my excuses. “We should see her before you leave, Elle.”
I nod, quietly relieved that he’s taking me to see her. There’s no way I’m going without saying hello to Judith first, even if she doesn’t recognise me.
I
saac
I watch my mother chat with Eloise for a brief minute and it gives me a glimmer of hope. This is the first time she’s been this chatty in a really long time. Maybe somewhere, deep down, my mother recognises her. I know it’s a reach but is it wrong to hope?
“She’s not eating properly, or they aren’t feeding her right.” Eloise whispers, leaning into me so that the nurses, who are wandering around checking on their patients, can’t hear. Her breast and shoulder press against my arm. I concentrate on everything but that. It’s impossible and I feel an incredible ache in my groin, despite the dire conversation. It’s been too long since I was intimate. “I’m worried.”
“There’s only so much they can do, Elle. Mum is… she’s stubborn and she gets quite violent now.” Saying it out loud devastates me. My mum is hardly even a shell anymore. If she continues down this road, who knows how long she’ll last. “We’re all trying our best.”
“I know, but…”
“You haven’t been here.” I feel her tense at my hissed words. “You don’t know what it’s been like.” I’m not saying it to hurt her; I’m saying it because it’s true. “Just visit and be kind.”
“I… I’m sorry.” She pulls away and I immediately regret my outburst. I don’t have a chance to apologise though as she’s already halfway across the room, her phone in hand.
My dad and I watch her. She was on her phone a lot on the way here too but she had it tilted away from me so I couldn’t see who she was texting. Not that it’s any of my business, nor was I trying to look. I just find it odd that she’s going to lengths to shield the screen from us.
My mum’s warm eyes come to me. She stares at me, her eyes empty of any part of her. It chills me straight down to my bone. “You look beautiful, Mum.” I say as she sways from side to side and threads her fingers through her short white hair.
“Have you seen my husband?” She asks us both, still looking straight through us. “He needs to pick my son up from school.” Perspiration breaks out over my skin and all sound drowns out other than her voice. “It’s those bullies again. They never leave him alone.”
“I’m here,” I tell her, reaching for her hand. She pulls it away.
“Zack! Zack!” She shouts suddenly, making the people around us jump. “Zack!”
“Zack has gone swimming, Judith,” a nurse says, smiling. She puts her hands on my mum’s shoulders. “Remember? He went swimming.”
“Fat. Fat.” Mum chants for a minute under her breath. “Fatty. Fat.”
“Is she calling the nurse…?” Eloise starts, but I take her arm with my hand and lead her away.
“Probably. Shall we get some air?”
“I feel fine.”
I pull her along anyway as my dad and the nurse calm my mother down. I don’t want Eloise to see her tantrum. Her phone jingles twice on the way. It takes everything I have not to snatch it and throw it across the carpark, purely so she’ll stop diverting her attention from us.
“Slow down, will you?” She snaps, tugging her arm free once we make it outside.
“Sorry.” Releasing her, I grip the railings that run along the side of the wheelchair ramp. “I just don’t like to see her when she gets like that.”
“I understand.” She leans her forearms on the railing besides me. “This is weird, right?”
“Huh?”
“Seeing each other… it’s almost like before.”
Blink. My heart begins to race in my chest. “Yeah. It’s easy to forget the four years that have passed.”
I watch her hair flutter in the wind. It’s grown so long and it’s still the gorgeous shade of red I fell in love with. Looking at her, all I can see is a beautiful, red headed little girl running wild around my legs. She’d suit motherhood. Whatever that means.
The thought makes me feel a little nauseous, especially when other thoughts come to mind of Elle swollen with my child. Mine. It’s the first time in my entire life that I’ve imagined a child of my own.
“You’re staring at me,” she says without looking in my direction.
“I can’t help it,” I admit and watch her cheeks glow with pink.
The door opens and we both stand to make room for a nurse pushing a patient in a wheelchair to a waiting ambulance.
Eloise pulls out her phone. This time I do snatch it away.
“Hey!”
“Can you just keep it in your pocket for longer than five minutes?”
She huffs and moves to grab it back, but I move it out of arms reach, a smug smile on my face.
“Isaac, don’t be childish.”
“Childish?” I snort and shove her phone down the front of my jeans and straight into my boxers. I leave it there. Her mouth hangs open in horror. “If you want it, you’ll have to get it.”
“You’re kidding me? What are you? Eighteen?” Her fist connects with my arm. “Give me back my damn phone.”
“Get it.”
“We’re outside of a nursing home, you pervert.”
“Do I look like I care? Get the phone.”
She glances around, checking for people. “Fine.”
“Are you two ready?” My dad calls the second Elle’s hand grips the top of my jeans and my cock springs to attention. The fact it’s pressing against a cold, flat surface does nothing to relieve it. It’s so hungry for attention, I’d be surprised if it didn’t start searching for porn.
“Yep,” Eloise marches ahead, stamping on my foot as she passes.
This is so fucking uncomfortable. I can hardly sit down in the car. I have to push my chair back a bit.
“Everything okay?” She asks sweetly, though I see the satisfaction over the fact I’m in serious discomfort right now clear in her eyes.
“Never better.”
My dad straps himself in the back seat, oblivious to our exchange. I’m really starting to wish I hadn’t put the phone in my pants now. What if I get cancer in my dick? Fuck.
“You’ll come back soon, won’t you, Elle?” My dad asks and the desperation in his voice makes me sad. Ever since my mum got sick, his list of friends has become smaller and smaller. Now I’ve moved to Boston, he has hardly any social life at all outside of work until I come to stay on the odd weekend and holidays. He promises me he’s fine alone but he’s not. He’s not used to it, but he can’t suddenly start relying on Eloise for company. She’s a young woman with shit of her own to deal with. He needs to get out more.
“Of course, as often as I can.” I can’t see her face as she’s looking out of the window but I know she’s serious. “I’m going to have to go as soon as we get back. I’m already running late.”
“No problem,” I lie because it is a huge problem. I wanted more time with her. Just a little.
Eloise
John heads to the store after I say my goodbyes, no doubt leaving Isaac with me on purpose. That man is about as subtle as an earthquake in a room full of bells.
“Can I have my phone now?” I snap at Isaac as he flicks through a few envelopes that he picked up from the ground on his way in.
He grins wickedly and leans back against the wall after dropping the letters on the desk by the door. I watch him stretch his arms above his head before resting them behind it. “Get it yourself.”
He can’t honestly believe I’ll do that. Can he? “I’m not doing that.”
“Suit yourself.” He goes to move but I hook my finger around the front of his jeans and slap my hand against his chest. This only turns his smug grin into a smug smile. “I still like it rough, Elle.”
“I’m not playing this game. Give me my damn phone!”
His hand comes down and pops the button open on his jeans. “Get it.”
This is so annoying. “Oh whatever. I’ll just buy a new one. I have to go.”
“You have plans?”
“Yes,” I sigh heavily and pinch the bridge of my nose. “I’ll see you later.”
“With who?” He follows me to the door and presses his hand against it, s
topping me from leaving.
I tug on the door but it doesn’t budge. For fucks sake. “Why do you want to know so badly?”
“I just do.”
“Isaac…” I tug on the door again.
“What are your plans?”
“Enough…”
His chest presses against my back as he moves closer. Why is he doing this? His heat is killing me. My head lolls forward as spasms of pleasure erupt through me at his touch.
“Stay.” He pushes and with delicate fingers he brushes my hair to one side. “Don’t go yet.”
Goosebumps break out over the skin he just touched. They spread down my arms and sides. I feel drugged on this wave of euphoria I’m riding.
His hand then goes to my hip and pushes the fabric of my shirt up slightly. I feel the pads of his fingers gently smooth over the naked skin and almost lose it. A heavy shudder racks through my body, so heavy I know he sees it and feels it.
“No.” I shake my head and slowly twist in his arms, pushing at his chest though it’s weak and not very convincing. “Don’t ruin a good day.”
“I’m not going to ruin a good day.”
I have a horrible feeling that he is. His blue eyes dilate. I know that look. I know that look so fucking well and holy crap it makes me wetter than I’ve been in a really long time. Pressing my thighs together does nothing to help it. I ache. I ache in remembrance of what this man can do to my body. It’s been so fucking long.
“Isaac,” I say, my voice breathy with the need I’m trying to hide.
“I’ve missed you, Elle.” He admits, his tone heady with emotion.
No… “I have to go.”
His hand cups my cheek. “Everything…”
“Don’t.” I beg, gripping his arms as fear spikes in me. I’m scared he’s about to go down a path I want no part of.
“We all just fell back together. Maybe…” Oh my god… no. “Maybe we should give it another shot. We’re still married. That’s got to count for something.”
I’m frozen to the spot, hearing what he says but unable to respond.
“I’ve missed you. I don’t think you know how much.”
Oh my god.
His eyes, round with sorrow and hope scan my face. My heart begins to palpitate. My palms become sweaty and tears spring to my eyes when he inches forward slowly. I feel his minty breath against my sensitive skin.
Distinction: The Distraction Trilogy #3 Page 6