Surrender

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Surrender Page 15

by Rachel Van Dyken


  “What’s this look, Drew?” she asked softly. “You went from being extremely happy to almost looking lost and then sad. I don’t like it when you do that, and I know I’m probably asking for way too much right now, but I want to understand you, I want to know—”

  “I was thinking I was jealous.” I gulped.

  “Jealous?” She squinted. “Of what?”

  “Your kids’ piece-of-shit dad. Which just makes me feel even shittier because he doesn’t realize what he has — in his own kids, in his gorgeous ex-wife whose body I’m about to strip — and I don’t like it. I don’t like being jealous of someone who doesn’t even deserve to breathe the same air as you.”

  Her eyes filled with tears. “I can’t play house with you, Drew. It’s already going to kill me when you walk out that door.”

  “The only reason I’d be walking out that door would be to get groceries, run any errand you want, or go to the studio. Just know that walking out that door doesn’t mean I’m not fully planning on walking back in.” I leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Fuck seven days, Bronte. You’re mine. You get that, right? I’m not playing at anything. This is real.”

  “How? How can this be real? We don’t even know everything about each other, and I know you’re still hiding things from me.”

  “To protect you,” I whispered, “not to keep you out.”

  “What if I don’t want your protection?”

  I smiled. “Then you have it anyway. Besides, Rome wasn’t built in a day. I can’t just drop years of baggage in one night, one week, even one month. The only thing you can do is trust me when I say I won’t ever let it affect you, your family, or us. I swear.”

  “You can’t swear that.”

  “Just did.”

  “Drew—”

  “Less arguing, more sexing.” I jerked her toward me. “Look at that. I made up a word. Am I the infamous Drew Amhurst or what?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Oh good. The ego’s back.”

  “You love it.” I nipped her lower lip. “If you wanted to date a Bob, you’d be dating a Bob — or a Harry, George, Henry—”

  “Dating?”

  “But…” I didn’t give her a chance to panic. “…you wanted to date a Drew, and Drews are wild. Drews are unpredictable. Drews like kissing, they like sex, and they’re overconfident — but not to a fault. Drews aren’t selfish in bed, and Drews keep you guessing. And at the end of the day, I’ll admit, Drews are a risk, but I need you to stop playing it safe and take that leap with me, so I don’t fall flat on my ass by myself. Can you do that?”

  She opened her mouth and then closed it only to try to speak again. But all she got out was “Dating.”

  “Shame on you. I don’t do one-night stands,” I scolded. “PS, will you be my girlfriend? I can write it down so you can circle yes or no, but I figured I couldn’t handle the stress of watching your pencil hover over the no as if you actually had to think about it.”

  “Dating.”

  “Cool, so that’s a yes.” I smirked and then threw her over my shoulder and slapped her on the ass, enjoying her struggling and pounding on my back with her tiny fists. “You’re adorable; you know that?”

  “Where are we—”

  I tossed her onto her bed, and she bounced up, her chocolate hair scattering around her shoulders. I kissed her breasts, and her eyes locked on mine in total fear, but right after that fear, her mouth softened, showing need, followed by trust. Then my heart pulsed a word: mine.

  “So, gorgeous girlfriend…” I peeled my T-shirt over my head and tossed it to the floor before stalking toward her in all my tatted-up glory; my two necklaces swung across my chest, making a clanging noise with each step I took.

  I leaned over the bed, letting her make the choice. We were nose to nose. I could feel her heartbeat, or maybe it was mine pounding that loud.

  She could still reject me.

  She could say it was too soon.

  She could back up.

  And I would let her because this was about her, not me.

  “You’re too sexy for your own good. You even have the swagger down,” she whispered, reaching for my necklaces then clutching them in her hand.

  “They unlock the secret to the swagger after your first Grammy.”

  “They?”

  “The Illuminati — we’re all members. FYI, you’re gonna have to make a blood sacrifice, but I figure Ryan will work, right?” I grinned.

  “Fine by me.” Slowly, she twisted the silver chains in her hand. One of them had a gothic cross dangling down my chest, and the other was an old key that had hope inscribed on it. I felt every movement, every inhale, exhale as I waited for her to say, “Yes,” waited for her to choose me.

  “I just want you to know…” She licked her lips and then stared at mine. “…that it doesn’t matter if you’re broken, because none of us are whole. Wholeness is a lie people believe when they can’t handle the truth. And every single part of you, even the ones you try to hide or are ashamed of— I want those too. So that when I choose you, every single time you choose me, you’re choosing the pretty along with the poison. Wherever love exists, pain must also be present.”

  I felt myself falling then, down into the tumultuous depths of the love she’d spoken about, and I wasn’t gasping for air. It felt like someone had finally set me free. “I love you, and you can’t make me stop.” My hands shook as I cupped her face.

  A tear slid down her cheek as she whispered, “I’ve loved you since I was sixteen.”

  And then she jerked my necklaces and fell with me, overtaken as our kiss consumed us both.

  I couldn’t get the shirt over her head fast enough.

  I needed her, needed her badly, needed to feel her around me.

  I finally broke off the kiss so I could rip her jeans down her body. My hands wouldn’t stop shaking, no matter how I tried. I missed the button in her jeans the first time.

  With a shy smile, she gently pushed me away. “Drew?”

  “Yeah.” I croaked, terrified she was going to say we needed to wait a bit longer.

  “You’re trembling.”

  “I know.”

  “First time?” she joked.

  I smacked her on the ass and then rubbed. “Cute.”

  “Here.” She reached for her jeans and somehow managed to seductively strip the rest of the clothes off her body.

  There she was in all her glorious naked beauty.

  And all my hands could do was shake.

  All my eyes could do was drink her in.

  My heart screamed inside my chest.

  My demons struggled to break free, to remind me why I didn’t deserve her. Thank God, I had a tether, and I was looking right at her.

  Those green eyes told the demons to go fuck themselves.

  And for the first time in forever, my chest felt light, as if someone had checked the closet for monsters and killed off every last bastard.

  And then turned on the light.

  “You stare at me a lot.” She chewed her lip nervously.

  “Because each time I look at you, I see something different,” I confessed. “I could spend the rest of my life staring at you and still see something new across your face. I will be fascinated by you until the day I die.”

  Tears filled her eyes. “Boyfriend?”

  I couldn’t help my goofy grin. “Yes, girlfriend?”

  “Have me.”

  “You’re gonna need to actually ask…” My grin was wicked as her cheeks went completely red. “…which means that mouth’s about to get…” I leaned down and nipped her lower lip, giving it a rough tug before finishing. “…dirty.”

  Her eyes glazed over, and then determination flashed across her face as she rasped out. “Fuck me.”

  “My pleasure.” I managed to kick off my jeans, and then we were one; our mouths fused together as our bodies moved in perfect sync as if we’d done this a million times.

  My hands shook when I toyed
with her breasts, testing her, seeing what set her off, what made all those sexy sounds leave her parted lips as my tongue stroked hers.

  Her hands tangled in my hair; her lips parted on another deep kiss; her little pants were coming faster and faster as I slid my hand between her thighs.

  I groaned. “I could stay here forever.” I stroked her, loving how she already clenched around me.

  She tore her mouth away from mine. “Best plan ever.”

  “The kids will have to, naturally, raise themselves.” I rubbed my palm against her, earning a not-so-gentle buck from her hips right against my dick.

  “They’ll survive. We’ll just leave the room for food and water.”

  “Solid plan.” I pressed a wet teasing kiss between her breasts while strumming her with the perfection that had made me famous.

  My hands, another extension of my instrument, she may as well have been my guitar as I played, searching for each note, and was rewarded with the groans and sighs that created one of the most beautiful and oldest songs of time.

  “I need more.” Her eyes squeezed shut as her back bowed off the bed. Her entire body tensed as I built her into the final crescendo and hit the G-note. I was rewarded with my name on her lips.

  “Fifteen more to go.” I throbbed for her, hurting to join the song.

  After all, it was a duet.

  A sweaty duet.

  Her eyes opened, the green more luminous than ever. She reached for me, and I let her only because I knew exploring would be on the menu; she needed it as much as she needed time to prepare.

  But she wasn’t exploring.

  She was stroking.

  And I was dying.

  It was like she looked at the music and decided to add an extra bridge, and now I was racing toward the chorus.

  “Keep doing that, and I’m not gonna make it, B.”

  “Then you should probably do something about it,” she panted, and she allowed her legs to fall open, exposing herself to me, showing me all the things I’d done to her, the responses she had.

  And I lost it.

  My vision solely locked onto hers as I inched inside.

  She tensed.

  “Remember who you’re with,” I whispered, inching in farther. “Someone you trust, someone you love, someone who will take care of you. Someone…” I moved more. “…who would do anything to keep you safe.” She gripped the sheets in her hands and then reached for me.

  I pressed what was probably a painful kiss to her mouth as I filled her completely. Yeah, this chorus was definitely going to be on the shorter side.

  With each smooth thrust, I felt her tense around me in pleasure, and I felt my need for release like the sun — blinding, all-encompassing, impossible to run away from.

  “Remember who you’re with,” Bronte repeated in a whisper as our mouths broke apart.

  I circled my hips while she hooked one leg around me, altering the angle and nearly throwing us off the bed.

  But that angle…

  “Holy shit.” Beads of sweat formed at my temples.

  “Swear jar.” She moaned. “Right there, Drew. Right, there.”

  “Damn it; you’re so tight, feel so good.” I let out another groan and then another string of sentences that didn’t even make sense.

  Her muscles constricted around me, clenching. Eyes wild, she kissed me hard, nearly hitting my teeth as she used my necklaces to keep me close. And then she came apart, one hand choking me with the necklaces and the other clenching my biceps muscle.

  My release was like the last song before the encore.

  I pumped into her until my body was spent, and I let go of everything, but that moment.

  Gasping, I stared into her green eyes. They were glowing. I had done that. I’d put that glow there. “Are you okay?”

  She nodded and then kissed me softly on the mouth. Our bodies still entwined, I wanted to live forever in moments like this… with her, only with her.

  “Thank you,” she whispered.

  “Happy early birthday,” I murmured, earning a laugh from her. “What?”

  “Oh, you know, had anyone told me that for my fortieth birthday I’d get my favorite rockstar in my bed, I would have checked them for head trauma.” Her smile was so addictively gorgeous.

  “So, you finally admit it… I’m your favorite.”

  “We’re even since I’m yours.”

  “Truth.” I peppered kisses across her mouth, her cheeks, and then her neck. “You’re my favorite song because everything you do is like music, and I think we have a few more notes to play, don’t you?”

  “Yeah.” She bit down on her bottom lip. “We do.”

  I smacked her lightly on the ass. “Good, now let’s take a time out, and then I want to do this in front of the mirror.”

  Her eyes widened. “What? Why?”

  “So, you can watch how I watch you, see how you affect me, and know how much I worship your body, every last inch of it.”

  “You need to stop being so perfect. I think it’s easier dealing with the ego than with your seduction techniques.”

  “Not seduction.” I kissed her again. “Facts.”

  CHAPTER 18

  Bronte

  Amelia checked in later that night via text, and Braden messaged at around two a.m. to wish me a happy birthday.

  It was probably a good thing he didn’t know that, at that exact moment, Drew was licking ice cream off my belly button.

  It all started when I said I hadn’t had a cake for my birthday in forever.

  And since we had no mix in the house, Drew concluded that dessert was dessert, but it would taste wrong if he put it in a bowl.

  Next thing I knew, we were in the kitchen, and I had a small amount of vanilla ice cream on my belly button topped with whip cream. And the most gorgeous man in the known universe was lapping it up with his tongue.

  Even his grunts were sexy as his tatted hands held my hips in place. I reached for him again, stroking his length.

  The man had stamina.

  That much was true.

  We’d taken small breaks.

  But he still wanted more.

  And I wanted to give him everything.

  How had this even happened?

  “Mmm…” Drew’s mouth moved up my stomach. The cold hard granite counter bit against my back as I arched into him in greedy need. “…I think I like your skin more than the ice cream.”

  “Oh, God.”

  His tongue found a nipple. He was ice cold, and then he sucked. I wasn’t sure whether to smack him or ask him for more. “That feels—”

  His tongue swirled, and then his instrumental hands dug into my hair, giving it a pull as he sat me up on the countertop where he’d just been licking me; it was as natural as breathing, wrapping my legs around his hips as he sank in again and then pressed me against the fridge as promised.

  “Think we’re down to nine.” He panted against my neck as each thrust had me clawing at his back in an attempt to get closer.

  I could hear the sound of things falling in the fridge with each push against the stainless steel.

  And then he just pinned me there without moving, his eyes alight with amusement. “I’m too close. Sorry.”

  “Yes…” I turned my head and tongued the sweat that dripped down his temple. “…please apologize right now.”

  “Care to scold me?” He winked, and then he moved, hard, slow.

  “What? You want me to call you a bad boy or something?”

  “Fuck, I think every sexual schoolgirl fantasy just came to life,” he growled against my neck. “I think I’d like to be punished by you.”

  I don’t know why, but I bit into his neck and then sucked, giving him a hickey as his moans filled the kitchen while he filled me. “Consider my mark your punishment.”

  He cursed, and then everything went wild. We went from the fridge down the hall, me in his arms, him still inside me. “Not gonna make it.” He kissed me and then pressed me up a
gainst the hallway wall.”

  “Drew!” I screamed out his name as we came in sync.

  And when I finally caught my breath, it was for him to give me an awkward look as he very carefully pulled a picture of Braden’s first concert and flipped it over.

  “He’s too young to see this.”

  Glorious gurgles of laughter erupted, and I kissed him again. “We should sleep.”

  “We should have more sex.”

  “Dreeeeww.”

  “Aw, that’s where Amelia learned it.”

  I playfully smacked him on the chest. He captured my fingertips, brought them to his lips, and slowly pulled out of me, his eyes never leaving mine. “Are you saying I exhausted you?”

  My legs wobbled as I nearly collapsed against him. “My body’s not used to it.”

  “And it won’t get used to anyone else ever again.” A muscle clenched in his jaw, “Happy birthday, beautiful.”

  “You said that already.”

  “That’s because I get to keep saying it for another twenty-two or so hours. Hell, what time is it anyway?”

  I yawned while he glanced at his watch and made a face. “We definitely went over curfew.”

  I let out an exhausted laugh. “Bed.”

  His eyes glanced toward the master bedroom. “Does that mean I get to sleep with you in your bed?”

  “I think you’ve earned it.”

  “Awesome, because I’m scared of the dark.” He walked past me and went into my bathroom then turned on the shower.

  Good idea.

  I quickly washed off, between Drew’s kisses, not that I was complaining, but part of me just wanted to be held in his arms.

  And as promised, when we went to bed, he pulled me in against his body, wrapped his arms around me, and whispered, “Sleep.”

  It had been years since I’d fallen asleep that fast.

  I jerked awake around eight a.m. to find the bed empty, but the sliding glass door to my room partway open.

  Drew was on his phone, his back faced me. “Nobody’s gonna find out.”

  A cold chill hit me like a punch to the gut.

  “No, I’ve been careful, all right? I really appreciate this. I owe you a huge favor in the near future.” He chuckled. “No, she has no idea, so keep that giant mouth of yours to yourself.” He laughed and then, “Yeah, see you in a few.”

 

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