Sighing, Tilly took Sarah’s hand. Judging from the shock in the maid’s eyes, she concluded it was an overly familiar gesture, but she did not care. “Did he tell you that you were improper?”
Sarah shook her head.
“Did he say you were not ‘fancy’ enough for him?”
Again, Sarah shook her head. “He is an educated man from Edinburgh. What could a poor maid from Devonshire possibly offer him?” she said, her voice filled with shame. “I did not know how to read until you taught me. I am no match for him.”
At her last words, Sarah’s crying renewed. Tilly squeezed the girl’s hand. No matter when it was, some women always tried to mold themselves into a false image of the ideal woman. What a stupid idea, she thought to herself.
“You listen to me, Sarah,” she said firmly. “You are not inferior to any man – and I don’t believe for one second that Daniel Ramsey thinks that.”
“You do not?”
“I have watched the two of you together. I see love in his eyes.”
Sarah smiled brightly. “Milady, do you?” she asked hopefully. “Do you think he cares for me?”
“I do.”
“The way Mr. Campbell cares for you?”
Tilly was taken aback. “What do you mean?” she asked.
Sarah lowered her eyes and grinned. “When he looks at you, he has a fire in his eyes.” She blushed. “You can see that he wants you.”
It was Tilly’s turn to be flustered. “Well, I…“ She completely lost her train of thought for a moment. “Well, Sarah, I am sure Daniel feels passionately toward you. He is not as demonstrative as some people are.” She shook her head. “You don’t need to worry about Daniel having a bad opinion of you. I believe he has the highest regard for you.”
Sarah wiped the last of the tears from her cheeks. “Thank you,” she said, lightly squeezing Tilly’s hand. “You are a good friend, milady.” She rose from her seat. “If you will excuse me, I will prepare your dress now.” She left the room with a spring in her step.
Tilly hated to see Sarah so upset, yet it warmed her heart to think a few kind words made that much difference. She returned to her morning repast. Unfortunately, her maid’s troubles did not divert her own mind. She could not stop thinking about the mysterious shield. What did the appearance of the symbols mean?
∞
When Tilly descended the staircase later that morning, she saw a maid speaking with an unfamiliar man in the foyer. He handed her a stack of letters, tapped the corner of his hat, and slipped out the door. The woman stared blankly at the documents in her hand.
“May I help you?” she asked the servant.
The woman flushed bright red and curtsied. “No, milady, I shall seek assistance from Mrs. Keith,” she mumbled, lowering her eyes.
Tilly frowned. “Oh, don’t be ridiculous,” she said. “I can help you. What’s wrong?”
The maid glanced nervously at the letters she clutched in her hand. “I cannot read, milady,” she admitted. “I do not know who should receive these letters.”
Tilly held out her hand. “Let me see them,” she said. When the servant refused to release the letters, she stepped forward and assumed the same firm tone she used with recalcitrant children. “You are wasting time. I can help you.”
Reluctantly, the maid gave the letters to her. “Who are they for, milady?” she asked timidly.
Flipping through the small stack of four documents, Tilly read aloud the names. Mr. Murphy had two letters. Mrs. Keith had one. The last missive was for Mr. Campbell.
“Milord is attending to a tenant matter,” the maid said. “He told Mr. Murphy that he would return for dinner, milady.”
“If you will leave the letter with me, I will make sure he gets it,” Tilly offered. She noticed the worried expression on the maid’s face. “I am sure Mr. Campbell would not mind me keeping the letter for him.”
Chewing her lower lip, the maid considered the dilemma. Finally, she held out her hand for the letters belonging to Mr. Murphy and Mrs. Keith. She curtsied again and scurried toward the basement to deliver the letters.
Tilly walked toward Benjamin’s study, intent upon placing the letter on his desk. At the door, she stopped and glanced at the parchment. She recognized Malcolm Campbell’s tight writing. She recalled the contents of the last letter she saw from the man. She stared at the document for several moments. Seized by sudden and unexplainable curiosity, she turned and raced up the stairway to her room.
∞
Tilly locked the door to her bedchamber. She had no desire for Sarah or any of the other maids to enter the room and find her doing what she was about to do. Her heart pounded in her ears and hand trembled slightly as she grabbed a candle from the mantel. She tilted it into the fire that burned in the hearth until the wick was alight. Gently, she returned the candle to its silver holder and carried it to the desk beside the window.
She examined the thick blob of red wax that sealed the pages. She knew it would crack if she popped open the letter. For a few seconds, she gingerly waved the wax seal over the flame, praying that the dry paper would not ignite. Testing the wax with her fingernail, she was pleased to discover that it was pliable. With a small knife she found in the drawer of the desk, she separated the wax from the parchment without cracking the seal. If she was very careful, she should be able to reseal the wax. Benjamin would be none the wiser.
She delicately unfolded the letter and read it.
My son Benjamin,
It was with great joy that I received your message about the new governess. I am exceedingly pleased to hear that she is of no consequence to you. As you learned with Mrs. Donnelly, many women will seek the comfortable arrangement that marriage to you will bring. You are wise to withhold your affections until you can find a suitable match.
I am glad that you view her employment as temporary. You are right. You can find a governess who possesses greater skills elsewhere. Please inform me if your search is not fruitful. I have many contacts who may be of assistance. After all, we found Mr. Ramsey. I am sure we can find a proper governess.
I do have one piece of unfortunate news. In my last letter, I spoke of a young woman who would make an excellent match for you. Sadly, she is now betrothed to another. Be not distressed by this news. I have other candidates who are worthy.
I am encouraged to hear that you too may have found a good prospect. Please do not settle the matter before consulting with me. While I know country women can be very charming, let us use this opportunity to further the Campbell cause. A union with a woman who has a large dowry and property could be most advantageous.
You need not send a response with the messenger. He has strict instructions to return at once. We are of the same mind in this matter, and it does my heart glad to hear it.
Your father,
Malcolm
Tilly’s hands trembled as she placed the letter on the desk. She did not bother to wipe away the tears that tumbled down her cheeks.
How could Benjamin say such awful things? she thought. All this time, she believed they were falling in love. With every kiss and every touch, he seemed to affirm that belief, yet he told his father that she was of no consequence and that he had already found another prospect. Who was this woman? Was a meeting with a tenant a ruse so that he could visit her now? Were they laughing at Tilly at this very moment?
More importantly, what would happen to her? Benjamin said her employment was temporary. When did he plan to cast her out? Where would she go?
She sniffed loudly, not caring that it was most unladylike. For a really long time, she did not feel as if she had a place in the world. After the tragedy of her family’s passing, she was numb. A year later, things finally started to make sense again. She was ready to move on with her life, knowing that she would always carry the scars with her. She never expected that a silly little trip to Scotland would result in being flung back to 1801. She certainly did not think she would meet a wonderful man and his family.
She never planned to fall in love again. She had – and what was she supposed to do about that?
Forty Three
Iain paced outside the family dining room. He could hear the boys gathered around the table, chatting about their day. He enjoyed listening to the innocence of the conversation. He longed for the days when the most pressing matter in his life was deciding what trick to play on an unsuspecting person.
He glanced up in time to see Tilly descending the stairs with Benjamin. He noted how content his friend looked. He hoped what he was about to do would not erase the feeling.
“Madam, you look well this evening,” he said formally, bowing as they approached. “May I speak with you in private before dinner?”
Ignoring Benjamin’s quizzical look, he led Tilly to the library. He made sure the door was firmly closed. While he knew she would relay the entire conversation to Benjamin at the first opportunity, he had no desire to share it with the rest of the household.
They took seats beside one of the windows that provided dim light for the room. Iain did not bother to light candles. He did not intend for the chat to be of long duration. Exhaling slowly, he said, “I must thank you for what you did in the forest. It was very brave.”
Tilly shrugged, “Bravery was not an option. He made clear his intent to kill the boys.” She paused. “Did you think I would abandon them in favor of my own survival?”
“I had hoped you were better than that,” he replied, smiling humorlessly. “It took extraordinary courage to face the man. He was a great warrior, so killing him was no easy task.”
“And, he was a heartless bastard, if you will excuse my language,” he added. He gestured toward the bruise on her jaw. “Does it hurt?”
Tilly shook her head and stared down at her hands.
“Richard MacDonald was consumed by revenge,” Iain said. “Do not let this event cripple you, Mrs. Munro. You did what you must and should feel no remorse for that. Make no mistake. He would have killed those children - and you too.”
A tear trickled down her cheek. “Do you know how many times people have told me not to be ‘consumed’ by something?” she asked resentfully. “It was hard enough surviving after Alex, John, and Anna died. This is terrible.”
“Were they your husband and bairns?”
“Yes.” She stared intently at him. “I am sure Benjamin told you the story. Do you believe me?”
Iain shifted in his seat. “I have long questioned your reason for being here,” he said. “Your story is beyond any imagining.”
“It is the truth, although I have no way of proving it to you or anyone else.” She sighed. “I desperately wish I could. It would make things so much easier.”
He chuckled. “Would it?” he asked. “Your position would not change. You would still be trapped in another time.”
“Why did you want to speak with me?” Tilly asked, tilting her head to the side. “I doubt you wanted to give comfort or discuss time travel.”
Iain shook his head. Benjamin mentioned that the woman was very blunt. He supposed it was time to dispense with the pleasantries. “I wanted to caution you against offering false hope.”
“False hope?” she asked in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“When Mary died, a dark cloud descended upon this house,” he explained. “The family was devastated by the loss. I was uncertain if they could recover. Then, you arrived, and everything changed.” His tone softened. “You must see that he is falling in love with you. The children increasingly look to you as a mother, especially after what happened in the forest. If you share the same affection, then I wish you well.”
He gave her hand a firm squeeze that conveyed a clear warning. “However, if your intentions are not pure, leave this place immediately. Do not play games with their hearts.” He retrieved a small leather bag from his jacket pocket and gingerly shook it. “I have a fair sum of money that will get you to Edinburgh. I have contacts there who can help you secure a position as a governess.”
He turned the bag in his hand so that she could hear the clink of the gold. “You could have a position with a respected family,” he said. “You might even find a nice husband there. All you must do is take the money and leave.”
He watched the play of emotions on Tilly’s face. He saw outrage give way to quiet resignation. “You strike me as a practical woman,” he said. “You came into this household with nothing. I give you the opportunity to leave with some dignity.”
Tilly rose from her seat and stared down at him. “I thank you for your offer,” she said. “How is it you people say this? May I speak plainly with you?”
Iain nodded. He was deeply intrigued by what she might say.
She paced, appearing to gather her thoughts with each step. “Contrary to what you may think, I have never had ulterior motives for being here,” she said. She stopped in front of him. Her eyes filled with tears. “I lost my family too. I know how devastating it has been for them. You only want to protect them, and I appreciate that. But, know this. I don’t wish to hurt them – ever.”
“You say that Benjamin has fallen in love with me. Well, I’m not sure if that is true,” she said. “He has never expressed it to me, and I have good reason to believe that I’m nothing more than a fling to him. Do you know that word – fling?”
Iain shook his head.
“It means a casual dalliance – nothing serious.”
“Benjamin is not the sort of man to toy with a woman’s affections.”
“I wish I could believe you,” she said. She lowered her head, her voice barely a whisper. “I thought he cared for me. I was wrong.”
Iain placed the bag in his pocket and beckoned her to return to her seat. “I did not wish to upset you,” he said. “I only wanted to offer you an alternative path, if you felt your present course was not desirable.”
She took a seat beside him. He could see the uncertainty in her eyes. “I have not been lucky enough to have a family,” he said. “Benjamin’s children seem like my own. I am sure you can understand why I am protective of them.”
“I have watched the two of you together, and I see great love there,” he said. He held up his hand to silence her. “As you say, let us speak plainly. If you believe that your affection is unrequited, then allow me to be of assistance. I can give you enough money to travel to Edinburgh and live comfortably there until you find an establishment.”
“Why would you help me? Do you want rid of me that badly?
Iain chuckled. “I have enjoyed your company these past few months, Mrs. Munro.” He removed the bag from his pocket and offered it to her. “The money is in payment for the education you provided to the children. And, more importantly, I want to thank you for the protection you gave Allan and Angus. That debt is one I can never repay. If you are ever in need of anything, you need only ask. I am forever at your service, madam.”
Tilly pushed away his hand. “Keep the money for now,” she said. “I haven’t decided what I am going to do. I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t mention this to Benjamin.”
He nodded as he returned the bag to his pocket and eased from his seat. He extended his hand, helping her from the chaise in a most gentleman-like manner. He placed her hand in the crook of his arm and winked at her. “Aye, I would ask the same of you, Mrs. Munro,” he said. “Benjamin would be sorely vexed to know of this conversation.”
They made their way toward the door. When his hand touched the doorknob, he noticed that she had stopped and was staring at the moonlight streaming through the window.
“Did Benjamin tell you where he found me?”
“Aye, I know the place well – Gleann A’bunadh. I have often thought it would make a fine place for a cottage.”
“Could you take me there tomorrow?”
Iain tilted his head in confusion. “Why would you want to go there?”
“When you cannot figure out what to do, sometimes it is best to go back to the beginning,” she replied cryptically. “Can we
ride there in the morning?”
“Aye, will you meet me at the stable at ten?”
Tilly nodded. She opened the door and whispered, “Remember – do not tell anyone.”
Iain followed her as she made her way to the dining room. He was not sure which was more perplexing – her uncertainty about Benjamin or her request to visit a secluded valley.
∞
Benjamin studied Iain and Tilly throughout the meal. To his dismay, they offered no clues about their conversation. In fact, they both seemed more at ease with each other than they had ever been. His friend entertained her with tales about their childhood adventures, roaming the Campbell lands and generally being rambunctious little boys. Daniel shared stories about growing up in Edinburgh. The children were in awe of their humble instructor’s rowdy life on the city streets. To the casual observer, it seemed like an ordinary family meal. He was most unsettled.
He planned to ask Iain about the chat after dinner. They would have an opportunity to talk privately then, since the tutor usually retired to his room. Unfortunately, Daniel choose this evening to pull Benjamin aside and ask for a word in his study. He hoped the man was not tendering his resignation.
They took seats by the fire. Benjamin offered him a drink, which the man declined. “I trust you find your new position to be satisfactory,” he said. “My son Allan speaks highly of your teaching skills.”
“Aye. I am most grateful for the opportunity you have extended to me,” Daniel said, nervously rubbing his hands on his breeches. “I am not sure if it is my place to interfere. I wanted to speak with you about Mrs. Munro.”
Benjamin became uneasy. “Please speak freely, sir,” he said. He took a sip of his drink.
“In the library yesterday, she became distressed at a story we found in yon book.” He gestured toward the volume of family history, which Mr. Murphy had previously delivered to Benjamin’s desk. “I found it most peculiar that a simple story could upset her.”
“Please show me,” Benjamin said. He lit candles in the holders around the desk so they could have sufficient light.
Through the Mist: Restoration Page 27