As Chesney carried serving bowls to the kitchen, she heard the back door open and close. Out the window, she saw their mother, shivering on the back porch. For a moment, Chesney almost felt sorry for her mother. The Blake family’s very own Statue of Liberty, crying silently on the porch. She was wearing one of Chesney’s flannel shirts over her very expensive pantsuit. Something about the scene made Madelyn Blake look fragile and almost vulnerable. But Chesney knew her mother well. If she stepped out on the porch to offer comfort, Madelyn would strike like a poisonous snake. Chesney’s primary objective was to get their mother out the door and off to the airport with minimal drama. She returned to the dining room and found it empty. Where were their father and Piper? She looked in the parlor and the library. Then she climbed the stairs to the guest room where Piper’s toddler bed now graced the corner by the window.
Lyle Blake was sitting was on the guest bed, with Piper on his lap. While Piper inspected the long strands of a baby doll’s yellow, yarn hair, her grandfather wept.
“It’s alright, Dad,” Chesney said in a whisper as she entered the room.
“No,” he shook his head and turned his face away in shame. “It isn’t alright, Chezzie. Your sister is leaving her baby like my father left me.”
“Char will be back,” Chesney sat down beside him. “I know she will be back, Dad.”
That was not actually the truth. At this particular moment, Chesney had no idea if Charlotte would ever return. Secretly, she braced herself to raise her niece. But she wasn’t willing to say that aloud, not even to herself. She was terrified of the thought, but she was certainly not willing to disclose that, either.
“We failed you girls,” her father said. “Your mother and I, we failed you.”
“Don’t do that,” Chesney said. “Don’t blame our mistakes on yourselves.”
“We must take responsibility,” he said. “You’ve been unable to make a commitment and your sister is leaving her husband and her child.” He dropped his head and stared at his hands. “We must have some responsibility in the decisions you’ve both made.”
“Stop,” Chesney felt like her heart would break. Her eyes teared as she reached for her father’s hand. “Let’s get through this together. Let’s not blame or shame or make it any worse for Charlotte than it has to be. Let’s say good-bye and try to learn from this. Charlotte is in trouble. She needs some time away and that’s not the end of the world.” She took Piper from his lap and smelled the baby’s wispy, baby-scented hair. “We will be fine,” Chesney smiled. “You and Mom and Cooper can visit any time. And when Charlotte works things out, we’ll all begin again.”
“Do you really believe that?” Lyle looked at his daughter with pleading eyes.
“Absolutely,” she lied.
As Chesney predicted, Madelyn announced that she was no longer comfortable at Chesney Ridge. With lots of drama, Madelyn sobbed as she said good-bye to Piper and coldly glared at both daughters before she finally walked out the front door.
Once their parents were gone, Charlotte collapsed on the couch and stared at the ceiling. “I thought they would never get the hell out of here,” she said. “I’ve been holding my breath, hoping to survive Mom’s guilt trips.”
“Cheeky?” Piper scampered toward her aunt with a giant grin on her sweet, round face.
“The way she says my name certainly isn’t very feminine,” Chesney said with a laugh as she scooped Piper into her arms.
“Cheeky dog,” Piper said as she pointed at Blossom.
“That’s right,” Chesney nodded. “That’s Aunt Chesney’s dog. Her name is Blossom. Can you say her name?”
“Bossy,” Piper said sweetly. “Cheeky dog Bossy.”
“Ok, we’ll go with that,” Chesney chuckled. “Cheeky Dog Bossy is code for ‘Chesney’s dog, Blossom.’ Makes perfect sense to me, little Pippa.”
“Why do you call her that?” Charlotte asked.
“I don’t know,” Chesney shrugged. “I guess it’s just a nickname. Remember when I called you Charly Poo? That one didn’t make any more sense than calling Piper Pippa.”
“You’re great with her, Chez,” Charlotte said, still staring at the ceiling as she spoke. “You’ll make a great mom.” With that sentence, Charlotte was sobbing again.
“What is it?” Chesney hurried to get Piper involved with a pile of blocks so she would not see her mother crying.
“I don’t know if I can leave her,” Charlotte said.
“You don’t have to leave her, Char,” Chesney reminded.
“But I do,” Charlotte said with an indignant nod. “I’ve got to get away from everyone and everything so I can think.” Charlotte wiped her face and walked across the room to hold her daughter. “I woke up one day, and I suddenly realized that I’m suffocating,” she whispered. “I’m questioning everything. I feel like I’ve been operating on batteries. I have no idea what I’m doing or what I want.” Charlotte sat down on Grace’s rocker and sang softly until Piper was asleep. As she started up the stairs, Chesney followed with Piper’s favorite blanket in her hand. As Charlotte placed a sleeping Piper on the bed, Chesney tucked the blanket beside her.
Downstairs again, Charlotte poured a glass of wine. “God, that turkey dinner was grueling,” she said. “Mom can be so…”
“Controlling, shaming, judgmental and mean?” Chesney said lightly.
“Umm, yeah, all of those,” Charlotte said.
“She can definitely be a pit bull,” Chesney said. “She wants you to do exactly what she wants you to do. Step out of line, and there’s hell to pay.”
“Maybe it’s because my thirtieth birthday came and went,” Charlotte said. “Maybe it’s because my life has been so damned predictable and perfect. But Chez, I can’t breathe anymore.”
“Do you have a plan?” She sat cross-legged on the couch. “Have you thought about what you want to do?”
“I’m thinking about going to Miami,” Charlotte smiled brightly. For the first time in years, she looked like the sweet little sister Chesney had once adored. “A friend of a friend has invited me to completely redesign her home there,” Charlotte gushed. “I saw photographs. It’s on the beach. It’s a massive home with lots of windows.”
“I’d love for you to revisit your gifts in design, Char,” Chesney said happily. “Remember how you decorated all the rooms on your dorm floor in college? You’ve always been so talented. In fact, I thought about asking you to help me when I moved here, but I…” She stopped talking then and paused.
“What?” Charlotte asked. “What, Chez? You thought I forgot about decorating just because I married Cooper and became Piper’s mother?”
“You never mentioned decorating again,” Chesney shrugged. “So I assumed...”
“Mom wouldn’t allow it.”
“What? You’re thirty years old, Char. What are you talking about? ‘Mom wouldn’t allow it?’”
“You know better than anyone how Mother can be,” Charlotte said. “I spoke very briefly about opening my own business and she blew a gasket. She said I couldn’t possibly be a wonderful mother to Piper and an incredible wife to Cooper if I entertained the thought of…”
“Having something of your own?” Chesney said. She walked across the room to where Charlotte stood, staring blankly at nothing, as if she was lost. “Char, don’t you see? You are a talented, passionate woman. You can be many things. And it’s not Mom’s place to run your life.” She hugged her and tears hurried down Charlotte’s face.
“Do you think I’m a bad mother, Chez? Tell me the truth. Do you think I’m awful for leaving Piper so I can flit off to Miami and decorate a rich old lady’s beach house?”
“No,” Chesney said. “I don’t think you are awful, not at all. I think you’re finally being honest with yourself, Char. I think you’ll be a better mother and a better wife if you listen to your heart and take care of yourself at least half as well as you take care of everyone else.”
They stood in silence again.
Chesney patted her sister’s back and stroked her hair.
“Haven’t you ever wondered about why our mother is such a perfect, self-righteous witch, Char?” Chesney asked.
Charlotte giggled through her tears and shook her head.
“Did you know that Mom wanted a career?” Chesney asked.
“I thought we were her career,” Charlotte said with an eye roll.
“She wanted to be a model,” Chesney said. “In fact, she was a model before she and Dad were married.”
“You’re kidding,” Charlotte said.
“Nope.”
“I had no idea,” Charlotte said, suddenly thoughtful.
“When you question whether this is a good decision, just think about the fact that you might have treated Piper like Mom treats us,” Chesney said.
“God,” Charlotte sighed. “And Piper might have felt toward me what I feel toward Mom.”
“Seething anger? Resentment? Crazy co-dependence?” Chesney laughed.
“All of the above,” Charlotte said as she wiped her nose.
Together, they walked back upstairs. Charlotte stroked her sleeping child’s hair. “I love her so much, Chez. I really do. I love her with all of my soul.”
“Of course you do,” Chesney said as tears wet her own face. “I know that, Char and Piper knows her mommy loves her.”
“Will she miss me?” Charlotte asked.
“Of course,” Chesney nodded. “We will both miss you. And we’ll be here waiting for you. Try not to worry, Char. When you leave here, make the time about yourself. Can you do that?”
Charlotte nodded and dabbed at her eyes.
“Let’s call it a night,” Chesney whispered. “I cooked my ass off for two days and this Betty Crocker bullshit has worn me to a frazzle. Tomorrow, you have a long day ahead of you.”
Charlotte walked over to the guest bed and turned down the comforter. “Am I doing what’s right?” she asked.
“Absolutely,” Chesney nodded.
“Thank you,” Charlotte said as she began to cry again.
“Don’t worry about a thing,” Chesney said. “Piper and I will get along just fine.”
Charlotte quietly crawled into the bed and her big sister tucked her in, kissed her quickly on the forehead and closed the door softly on the way out.
Downstairs, Chesney grabbed an old blanket, wrapped it around her shoulders and went outside to sit on the porch swing. Tomorrow morning, Charlotte would pack her bags and leave. The growing knot in Chesney’s stomach was a reminder that she had absolutely no idea if or when she would ever see her sister again. She had no idea how to care for Piper. “We’ll figure it out as we go,” she whispered. “That’s how I’ve conducted the last thirty-three years of my life. That’s how we’ll get through this, too.”
Chapter Twenty-eight
When Charlotte left, Chesney did not ask about her plans. She had no idea for sure what Charlotte was doing or where she was going. She had no idea if her younger sister was on her way to a complete mental breakdown. She just chose to trust. She wanted Charlotte to feel completely free to do exactly as she pleased without answering to anyone. So Chesney didn’t ask a single question. She wished her well and held the tears back until Charlotte drove away.
Oh, holy shit, this is the biggest test I have ever faced. Diving right into surrogate motherhood will be one of my biggest challenges.
Chesney carefully studied the list of instructions Charlotte left behind, but sometimes, those instructions were worthless. Learning how to secure Piper in the car seat, for example, was an activity Chesney immediately despised. The experience was much like placing a cat in a box. Piper wiggled and whined and kicked until the last moment the strap was fastened. Once she realized she was stuck in the seat for an undesignated amount of time, she was fine, but her Aunt Chesney was in tears.
Taking Piper to the grocery store was a pain. She grabbed boxes off shelves and threw herself to the floor to kick and cry. Bathing her and washing her hair required a mop and nearly one dozen towels to clean up the aftermath. All of it was a giant headache for Chesney. Her patience was tested those first few days. Every evening, Piper fussed until long after midnight.
“Mama?” she sat on Chesney’s lap with searching gray eyes.
“Mama is away on a trip,” Chesney smiled, swallowing tears. “She loves you very much, Pippa. Aunt Chesney loves you and Blossom loves you.”
“Cheeky?” Piper asked. Then she poked her stubby finger in Chesney’s chest. “You Mama Cheeky?”
Chesney laughed, tickled her niece’s bare toes and reminded herself not to fall apart. Not now or she might never stop crying, and she certainly did not have time for a big bawl fest.
The following morning, Piper dumped Blossom’s food all over the floor then grabbed a piece of kibble as a post-breakfast snack. When she popped the dog food into her mouth, Chesney swooped in for action. She reached inside Piper’s mouth to retrieve the dog food and got her finger bit in the process.
“Come on, Pip. Don’t do that stuff,” Chesney whined. “That’s so yucky, Pippa. Don’t dump Blossom’s food. Don’t touch it or eat it, okay? And it’s also not okay to bite my fingers off.”
Piper toddled away, looking sweetly remorseful about the dog food. But then she happily removed her diaper to pee on her aunt’s very expensive Persian rug. She shoved a cookie into the DVD player and threw one shoe in the toilet- all before noon.
“We’ve got to talk,” Chesney said as she placed Piper on her lap. “You’re obviously a very energetic, rambunctious little person. And I appreciate that spunk, I really do, but I haven’t had time to adjust to your company. And, well, frankly, Piper, you’re killing me. You’re destroying my house and traumatizing my dog. I don’t know how to be…”
Tears suddenly spilled over Chesney’s cheeks. She felt totally overwhelmed, exhausted and alone. “Piper, I love you,” she sobbed. “But I don’t know how to do this. I feel like I’m in baby boot camp and you are definitely kicking my butt.”
Piper concentrated on every word her aunt spoke. Her tiny, pink fingers fluttered tenderly to trace the tears on Chesney’s face. “Boo-boo?” she asked as she cocked her sweet little face to the side.
“No boo-boo, Pippa,” Chesney sighed and sniffed. “It’s all gonna be okay, Pip. We’re just having a challenging day. I’m sure I can get revived if you‘ll just take a seven- or twelve-hour nap this afternoon.”
“Mama Cheeky?” Piper said with a little grin. “Milk.”
With Piper hanging on her hip, Chesney wiped her face and smiled. “Yes, you want milk, you get it,” she said. “I want to have a meltdown? No way.”
“No way,” Piper repeated.
At night, an exhausted Chesney wandered through the house, cleaning up the toys. Twice, she fell over the baby gate, which kept a curious Piper from climbing the stairs. More than twice, Chesney cried and howled right along with her niece, when Piper was cutting teeth or fighting off a cold. For several nights, she slept on the guest bed next to Piper’s bed. Sleeping in her own bed on the other side of the wall felt too far away. Somewhere in the midst of it all, Chesney was finding her way. She learned to write with Piper asleep on her lap. She learned to read Piper’s moods and work her entire life around her niece’s nap times. She was slowly adjusting to life with the chubby little diva who joyfully toddled across the floor to fall into her arms.
“You’re amazing, Chez,” Becca said on the phone. “I can’t believe how well you’re fairing. I’m so proud of you.”
“You should have been here to tell me that earlier today,” Chesney sighed as she rubbed her temples. “You should have reassured me at the same time little Miss Pippa created her very own mural on the bedroom wall with my lipstick. And she plugged up the toilet again. I don’t know why this child is so obsessed with toilets. She wants to flush everything. But she certainly isn’t interested in potty training, which is good, I guess, since I don’t have a clue how to teach her to pee in the p
otty, anyway.”
“I really want to visit soon,” Becca said. “I know you could use a break.”
“That’s the understatement of the year,” Chesney sighed again. “I really am exhausted. But, if you happen to see my mother, lie your face off. Tell her I’m running marathons in my spare time and operating a soup kitchen on weekends. Just don’t even hint at the fact that my niece is draining my last drops of energy before noon every single day.”
“Don’t worry,” Becca laughed. “I’ve got you covered. And I’ll be down a few days after Christmas. Is that okay?”
“That’s perfect,” Chesney breathed. “I can hold on until you get here.”
One week before Christmas rolled around; the gifts Chesney ordered online were finally delivered. In spite of Piper’s curiosity, Chesney managed to stack the boxes on an unreachable closet shelf. On a cold, lazy Saturday, she dressed Piper warmly and wrestled her into the car seat. It was time to pick out a tree for Christmas.
Chesney drove to Deke’s, suddenly realizing that since Piper came to Chesney Ridge, her life had come to a screeching halt. She hadn’t spoken to anyone else but Becca. She tried not to wish for Dalton to call or stop by. Now that the interior work was complete, she had no excuses for how to see him. With her eye on a rather straggly little tree in front of the hardware store, Chesney parked the truck close to the door and freed Piper from the car seat.
“Who’s this little cutie?” Luke pointed at Piper the moment Chesney walked inside. At the same moment, Chesney discovered that her niece’s fat little hands were yanking every single set of work gloves off of a rack near the cash register.
“This is my niece,” Chesney smiled as she turned around to return the gloves. “She’s staying with me for a while.”
“Mine,” Piper insisted as she grabbed again at the pile of gloves.
“You have gloves of your own, sweet,” Chesney said softly. “Where are your gloves? Check your pockets and see.”
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