by Susannah Nix
She bet he was. Alice looked down at her phone, refusing to give him the satisfaction of her full attention. “I took some time off for personal reasons.”
“I hope everything’s okay?”
Her lips pressed into a thin smile. “Perfectly fine.”
“I’m glad. It’s good to see you back at it.” She said nothing, and they gazed at one another for a pregnant moment before he continued. “Apparently I’m not on your committee anymore?”
“That’s right.”
“Can I ask why?”
She looked up at him with her blandest, most innocent expression. “Didn’t Dr. Frazier talk to you?”
“I’d like to hear it from you.”
“I’ve decided to go a different way.”
A pair of passing students waved at Gilchrist on their way to one of the group study rooms and he gave them an acknowledging nod. “I’ll be right there.” Turning back to Alice, his eyes narrowed slightly, which gave him an even more weaselly appearance than usual. “What about the network analysis? You don’t need help with it anymore?”
She lifted her chin in a display of confidence she didn’t quite feel. “Dr. Frazier and I decided it wasn’t necessary after all. I’m doing a multilevel analysis instead.”
“Really?” The patronizing smugness of his tone set her teeth on edge. “Are you sure that’s in your best interest?”
“I guess we’ll see.” She didn’t tell him she’d decided to leave academia and therefore it didn’t matter how many articles she could get out of her dissertation, because it was none of his business. She didn’t want him thinking her decision had anything to do with him. For that matter, she didn’t want him thinking about her at all.
“Well. Regina knows best, I suppose. Good luck. I imagine I’ll see you around.”
She certainly hoped not.
He subjected her to one last appraising stare, followed by a smirky nod, before he headed to the study room. Alice watched him go, waiting until he’d disappeared inside before gathering her things and fleeing the library.
Her hands were shaking and her lungs heaving as she got into her car. She clenched the steering wheel as she tried to calm down. Her eyes darted to the rearview mirror to make sure he hadn’t followed her, even though she knew it was unlikely. He had a study room full of students waiting for him, and no legitimate reason to chase after Alice. They were done, professionally. She never needed to interact with him again.
She was free.
He couldn’t force her to do anything anymore. She’d faced him and walked away under her own power. Taken back some of the control he’d used against her.
Alice took a few more slow, deep breaths, making sure she was calm enough to drive before starting the car. By the time she got home her heart had stopped pounding so hard, but the sour feeling in the pit of her stomach still persisted.
Taco greeted her at the door, wagging his tail as he trotted at her heel. She found Griffin in the kitchen, in the midst of making dinner. A pan bubbled on the stove behind him, fresh produce and spices covered the counters, and delicious smells filled the house.
After the unpleasantness in the library, walking into such a homey, comforting scene felt like waking from a nightmare to realize you were snug and safe in your own bed.
Griffin had changed from the T-shirt and shorts he’d been wearing this morning into a pair of expensive-looking dark-washed jeans and a light blue button-down. Alice remembered, for the first time since Gilchrist had spoken her name, that Griffin had called tonight a date.
When he looked up from the vegetables he was chopping and smiled at her, she felt her eyes sting at the intense rush of feelings. He was so gorgeous and sweet, and he’d gone to all this trouble for her. What had she ever done to deserve this? How was this her life?
She tried to return his smile, but her lip trembled, betraying her.
Griffin froze. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” She tried to make it sound convincing, but based on the deepening creases in his forehead, she didn’t seem to have pulled it off.
He set the knife down and wiped his hands on a dishtowel before moving toward her with a concerned frown. “Are you still pissed at me?”
“No! I promise. It’s not—” She shook her head. “It doesn’t have anything to do with you.”
“It has to do with me if you’re upset.” He jammed his hands into his back pockets like he didn’t know what else to do with them. “What happened?”
“I’m fine.” She didn’t want to talk about it because it felt like that would be bringing Gilchrist home with her. Letting him infect even more of her life. She didn’t want one stupid encounter with him ruining the whole night.
“You look spooked, like you’ve seen a UFO or something.”
She blew a breath between her teeth. “I would be thrilled to see a UFO. A UFO would be awesome.”
“Something bad did happen.”
She sighed. Griffin obviously wasn’t going to let it go until she told him. “I saw him. When I was on campus.”
“Him?” She could see the moment he realized who she meant, because his expression went hard. “You mean that professor who—”
“Yeah.”
He took a step toward her, reaching out to give her arm a tentative touch. “Did he see you?”
She nodded. “I was in the library, and he came up behind me.”
Griffin’s eyes widened. “Did he touch you?”
“No.” Thank god. She felt sick even thinking about the possibility. “We were in the middle of the library, surrounded by other people. He just talked to me.”
She was lucky, really, that the encounter had happened in such a public place, somewhere they’d be overheard and observed. Someplace with witnesses. If she’d run into him in an empty hallway, or a stairwell, it might have been different.
Strong arms enveloped her as Griffin pulled her into a protective embrace. Alice felt her whole body sigh with relief as she wrapped her arms around his waist, enjoying the closeness. Taco danced around them, butting his nose against their ankles as he tried to get between them. She shuffled closer, boxing the jealous dog out, and felt Griffin’s arms tighten around her.
“Are you okay?” His hand stroked up her back, coming to rest in her hair.
She nodded against his chest. “Yeah.”
And she was, she realized. Surprisingly so. Gilchrist didn’t have any power over her anymore. He couldn’t pressure her to meet with him in private, or force her to jump through hoops in order to finish her dissertation, or prevent her from getting her degree. He was nothing to her anymore. Just an annoyance that could be sidestepped. In a few short months, she’d be free of the university altogether, and she’d never have to see his repulsive face again.
Griffin’s arms fell away from her, and Alice let go of him, missing the comfort of his touch even as she tried to put an appropriate amount of distance between them again. He didn’t let her get far though. His hands grasped her shoulders as his eyes, bluer and softer than she’d ever seen them, searched her face.
She tried to smile for him. “I really am okay, I think.”
“Are you?”
“It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. And now that I’ve faced him and lived to tell the tale, I feel better, actually. Stronger.”
“Good.” Griffin’s hands stroked down her arms, raising goose bumps on the surface of her skin. “What can I do?”
This, Alice thought. Keep doing what you’re doing right now and never stop.
“Nothing,” she told him. “I just want to forget about it and have a nice, relaxing night at home with you.”
His eyes twinkled as his face split into a heart-melting smile. “I can do that.”
Griffin watched Alice take her first bite with a trepidation he usually reserved for watching his own acting in dailies. When her face lit up in an approving smile, he nearly fainted with relief.
“This is amazing!” she said. “How
did you manage to make chicken taste so good?”
A lot of butter. More than he liked to think about. He didn’t mention that part though. “Pound it thin, bread it with parmesan cheese, and serve it with a lemon artichoke sauce.”
“It’s incredible.” Alice cut another bite and placed it on her tongue. “Oh my god. I don’t think I’ve ever tasted anything this good outside of a restaurant.”
Griffin reached for his wineglass to hide how pleased he was. They were eating in the dining room, which he wasn’t sure he’d ever actually used for entertaining since he bought the house. He’d certainly never gone to this much effort to cook dinner for a woman before. He’d even dug out placemats and cloth napkins, and bought fresh flowers to decorate the table. Candles had briefly been considered, then discarded as too clichéd and weighted with intention. He didn’t want Alice to feel any pressure; he just wanted to make her like him.
It was kind of shameful how woefully underdeveloped his wooing skills were. Griffin wasn’t used to trying this hard with women. He didn’t usually need to. The women he usually chose to sleep with were the ones who were eager and looking for a short-term hookup just like he was. He didn’t need to woo them. They understood just as well as he did that it didn’t mean anything.
This was completely different, because this meant something. It frightened him a little, how much Alice had come to mean to him. He couldn’t afford to screw this up. Better to go too slow than too fast. Better to only have a small part of her than push too far and lose everything.
He figured he’d start with dinner. Cooking was the best way he knew to show someone he cared about them. A way to prove how much he valued her presence in his life. They’d have dinner tonight, talk, maybe watch some TV, and hopefully it would smooth over any lingering awkwardness from this morning.
Then maybe he’d have a better sense of whether she seemed interested in taking things to the next level. He was willing to wait. Forever, if need be. If it turned out she only looked at him as a friend, well, he could find a way to live with that. As long as she was in his life, he could live with anything.
At least Alice seemed to be enjoying the dinner he’d made. That was a good start.
She touched her napkin to her lips before taking a sip of wine. “You’ve got a whole month off until you start your next shoot, right?”
“Something like that.” Troublemakers 5 started principal photography in LA at the end of August. “But I’ve got rehearsals and wardrobe fittings and stunt training in the meantime.”
“Still, all that stuff will be a cakewalk compared to your usual schedule. When’s the last time you even had time off between projects?”
“Three years ago.” It would have been the hiatus before he was cast in Troublemakers 4. It felt like a million years ago. Like another life.
“Whatever will you do with yourself?” She forked another bite of chicken into her mouth, and her eyes fluttered briefly closed in ecstasy.
“Maybe I’ll spend all my time cooking for you.” If she was going to get that look on her face every time, he would gladly act as her personal chef. He wondered what else he could do to inspire that particular expression, and felt his pulse quicken as his mind supplied a variety of appealing ideas.
The space between Alice’s freckles took on a rosy glow. “I’m serious.”
“So am I.”
Her eyes seemed to sparkle as she broke into an unrestrained grin. “Have I mentioned how happy I am that you’re back?”
Griffin’s heart nearly leapt out of his chest to do a lambada with the salt shaker right there on the table. “Have I mentioned how happy I am to be back?” he said, matching her grin with one of his own.
It felt like a barometric shift was taking place. Like something unfamiliar and new was unfolding between them. Something both terrifying and wonderful.
He couldn’t wait to see what came next.
18
Griffin had been staring at her all night. Not just looking at her—they’d been sitting directly across from each other at the table, so obviously he’d been looking at her. This was different. This was staring. Like—she couldn’t quite describe it. It wasn’t quite as if he was seeing her for the first time—although that wasn’t too far off. It was more like he was letting himself look at her for the first time.
Alice had never really felt the full weight of Griffin’s attention before—not in such a concentrated beam of dazzling intensity. It was a lot. In the past, she’d always had the sense he was trying not to look at her too much. Like he was giving her plenty of space. A safe buffer zone. But now it felt like the buffer had melted away, and the air between them was growing thinner by the minute.
They’d chatted casually enough over dinner—which was quite possibly the best homemade meal she’d ever had—but the whole time she’d been conscious of his searing gaze, which made her feel things she’d been afraid to hope for. When he got up to clear the table, it was almost a relief not to feel his eyes on her for a few minutes.
He refused to let her help with the dishes, so she poured them both more wine as he told her stories about the stunt team he’d worked with in Atlanta, and how he’d taken them all out for karaoke his last weekend there.
“I didn’t know you were a karaoke guy,” Alice said, leaning back against the counter.
“I’m not.” Griffin slotted the last plate in the dishwasher. “That’s how much I liked these guys—I actually let them drag me to a karaoke bar!”
Tossing her old no ogling rule out the window, she shamelessly enjoyed the view as he bent over to retrieve the detergent. “Did you sing?”
“You have to sing. It’s karaoke.”
“Can you sing?”
Griffin threw an affronted look over his shoulder. “I’m no Josh Groban, but I’ve had voice lessons. I can hold my own.”
“What song did you do?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” He slammed the dishwasher closed and turned to face her with a smirk on his face.
“Yes, I would. That’s why I asked.”
“You’ll laugh.”
“Only if it’s funny.”
His smirk got wider. “‘We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.’”
Alice barked out a laugh before she could slap a hand over her mouth.
Griffin tried to look hurt but couldn’t seem to stop smiling. “You laughed.”
“It was funny!” She crossed the kitchen and gave his arm a conciliatory squeeze. “Come on, Taylor Swift? Please tell me someone videoed it.”
“Not a chance.” His gaze dropped to where she’d touched his arm, and Alice drew her hand back.
“Too bad,” she said, wondering what would happen if she kissed him right now. “I’d pay good money to see that.”
“Maybe I’ll do a command performance for you one day.”
“Is that a promise?”
Griffin’s eyes found hers and held. The air between them felt charged, like it was liable to start throwing off visible sparks any second now. That was when the clouds of doubt finally parted. Alice wasn’t the only one feeling something. That was an I want to kiss you look on his face if she’d ever seen one.
And then it was gone. Griffin stiffened, shaking his head slightly as if shaking away bad thoughts, and started to step away.
Alice’s hand closed around his wrist. “Don’t.”
Emotions warred on his face. “You’ve had a traumatic day.”
It took her a moment to realize what he meant. She’d actually forgotten. Her happiness at being with Griffin had superseded the trauma of the encounter in the library. Even now, thinking about it, it felt distant and blurred. Inconsequential.
She gave his wrist a squeeze. “It hasn’t been that bad. This last part’s been pretty great, actually.”
Still, he hesitated, and she had an appalling thought. “Unless…unless you don’t want…” God, if she’d read him wrong, she was going to drive straight to the beach and throw herself into
the Pacific Ocean. She’d never be able to face him again. She’d—
Griffin’s mouth closed over hers. The shock of it hit her like an electric jolt, and she let out an involuntary squeak of surprise.
He jerked back, forehead creasing in confusion. “Did you not mean—”
“No.” Her hand curled around the back of his neck. “I did. I do.”
He tilted his head, eyes narrowing. “Just to be clear, we’re talking about kissing right now?”
“Yes.”
“And you want me to kiss you?”
“Yes!”
His eyes sparked with mischief. “You’re sure?”
Alice laughed, giving him a little shake. “Oh my god, yes! Kiss me!”
He did.
It was tender and warm. Almost careful, as if he was testing her, waiting for her to stop him.
She didn’t want him to stop. Ever. Her tongue stroked the seam of his lips and they parted for her. The pads of his fingers touched her jaw, exerting light pressure to tilt her head back more. Need bubbled up inside her as the pressure of his mouth increased.
Alice grabbed his shoulders to steady herself and pressed her body into his, wanting to feel more of him. Griffin answered with a moan, followed by a rough tongue thrust that sent a thrill shooting through her core. His lips crushed hers, bruising and searing as their breaths intermingled in desperate pants. As the intensity increased, so did Alice’s body temperature, and she shrugged out of her cardigan, letting it fall to the floor. Rough, callused fingers slid over her bare arms, raising shivers of pleasure over the surface of her skin.
“Alice.” Griffin spoke her name in a low rasp as his hands dropped to cup her ass, his fingers kneading the soft flesh. “I can’t believe—”
He broke off, groaning, when she ground her pelvis against his, craving more delicious friction. More contact. More heat.
His fingers dug into the backs of her upper thighs, and she gasped in surprise as he picked her up and settled her high on his hips. Laughing, she wrapped her legs around his waist, and he carried her into the living room.
Supporting her body with his strong arms, Griffin laid her gently on the couch. The thick muscle of his thigh pressed between her legs as he leaned over to kiss her, one hand cupping her face and the other holding himself above her.