I was just taking the chicken out the over when a voice boomed behind me, “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?”
I was so startled I ended up dropping the pan on the floor and all of the chicken scattered around. I looked down at the food in horror. I slowly turned around to face Landon and he was standing behind me. His fists were clenched at his side, his jaw was ticking and his face was red. I swallowed hard. “I was just making something to eat.” I said in a soft voice.
He narrowed his eyes. “Why? You know you’re not supposed to be doing this shit. You don’t fucking listen. Don’t you give a shit about what will happen to the baby if you don’t listen to the doctor?” he practically yelled at me.
I shrunk back a little. “I didn’t do anything. I wasn’t standing up or anything for a long time. I made sure to make something that wouldn’t require that… I just wanted to you know…” I trailed off because I didn’t know how to express myself.
“Just fucking go back to bed and I’ll clean this shit up.” He muttered running a hand through his hair. “I bought food I’ll bring you something when I’m done fixing your mess.”
My eyes burned with tears this was not at all what I was expecting. I pulled in a deep breathe to control my emotions and I met his eyes. I shook my head, “don’t bother. I’m not hungry.”
“Lucy….” He began but I shook my head again.
“No I was just cooking for you guys I don’t want anything. I’ll just head to bed.” I told him. I had to keep my voice steady to cloud the emotions rolling through me. He sighed but didn’t say more and I turned and headed upstairs. I saw Nick turning the corner I guess to see what the commotion was but I couldn’t meet his eyes. I wrung my hands the whole walk to the room to keep myself preoccupied so I wouldn’t cry. Not yet. When I got to our room I turned off the lights and got into bed. I cried for a while, at least until I ran out of tears. A couple of hours later I heard the garage and a car leave. I didn’t get up to check. Nick had come to check on me sometime around nine and I pretended to be asleep. That’s when I knew it was Landon who had left. I stayed awake in bed in the dark for hours. At some point I heard Landon get home and come into the room. He got in bed and I smelled him. He smelled strongly like liquor and cheap perfume. I looked at the nightstand to see it was 2am. I thought I was done crying, but somehow more tears produced. I cried silently into my pillow. He didn’t reach for me or acknowledge me. He was snoring almost as soon as his head hit the pillow.
I’m not sure how long I stayed up last night crying, but when I woke my eyes were sore and puffy and it was 11 in the morning. I texted Naiyla to get my mind on something else, surely she would have something else to talk about. After she expressed how much she missed me and wanted to see me I decided to take her up on her offer. I was on bed rest anyway I mean I can freaking do that anywhere with a bed. I packed up a bag and set it to the side. When Nick got home I asked him if he could give me a ride to see Naiyla. He seemed weary at first but I assured him I just needed some girl time. Since I’m on strict orders I might as well just hang for a few days. I had to give him my best impression of puppy eyes for him to agree. I hopped in the shower and threw on a large t-shirt and some sweat pants. I made sure to grab my medicine and a few other little things.
I was zipping up my bag when Landon came in. “Where are you going?” he asked.
“Out.” I told him as I looked around the room to make sure I had everything I needed.
“Out where?” he asked. I could hear the agitation in his voice but I decided to ignore him altogether.
I walked to the door and screamed out, “Nicholas, the queen is ready!”
“Yes dear.” I heard him respond and I snickered. He would respond to almost anything. I sat down on the foot of the bed to wait for him. He made me promise earlier to wait for him so he could carry my bag.
Nick came into the room and arched a brow. “What are you taking?” he asked.
Landon had been standing against the wall with his arms crossed since he’s walked in. “Where are you taking her?”
Nick turned to him to answer but I cut him off. “Out.” I said again and stood. I walked towards Nick and pointed to the bag I packed, “that one young man. And make sure you handle it with care, my things are fragile.” I told him in the best English accent I could conjure.
He saluted me and swept up the bag. He made sure to bang it hard against two of the walls on his way out. I rolled my eyes and kept going. We had just made it to the bottom of the stairs when I heard steps thundering behind us. I rolled my eyes and kept going.
“Lucy, where the fuck are you going?” he demanded.
I kept walking like I couldn’t hear him. Nick sped up his steps like he was trying to stay out of the upcoming confrontation. Little did he know, there wouldn’t be one. Oh no. I kept walking feigning ignorance. I got towards the front door and he caught up and circled me stepping in between us. “Don’t act like you don’t hear me. Where do you think you’re going Lucy?” he asked.
I looked down at my nails thinking of which color I could paint next. I looked up at him with a bored expression and rolled my eyes. “Out.”
He narrowed his eyes. “This is how you going to play it Lucy? Seriously? You can’t just be up and around like shit is ok because it’s not.”
“I’m going out. Didn’t the doctor say stress is bad? Well this conversation is stressful, so excuse me I’m doing what the doctor said.” I told him.
He gave me a long look before he moved out the way and I exited the house. Score one for Lucy! We headed over to my old dorm and Nick walked me all the way into the room. Once he was satisfied there was indeed a bed still there big enough to accommodate me he left. Naiyla made a cozy little setting in the living room. It was a bunch of blankets and pillows put together comfortably in front of the TV. She had moved the couch and table out of the way. I went over and made myself comfortable. She walked to the fridge before she turned to me.
She threw her hands on her hips and asked, “So is Landon fucking up or smothering you?”
I laughed. “More of the fucking up I would say.” I told her.
She nodded and opened the freezer. “That sounds more like cookies and cream than pistachio. I have spoons and ice cream and chick flicks. Game on bitches.” That made me laugh while she came over with the goods and I sighed.
“I can go for some reruns of Pretty Little Liars or Gossip Girls?” I offered.
She smiled. “Girl we can do both! You’re here for a few days. Shit if we are really committed maybe some 90210?”
I gave her a shit eating grin and hugged her. “Where have you been all my life?”
She giggled, “So where should we start?”
I thought about it for a second before I gave her a devilish grin. “I could use my dose of the sexy Chuck Bass. Jesus the man has more swag than can be bottled and some Serena and Blair drama should definitely outrank my own.” I suggested.
Naiyla laughed. “Gossip Girl it is.” I cheered. We spent the night indulging in drama and ice cream. We eventually passed out there on the floor.
Naiyla didn’t have class the next day, so we hung out and ordered Chinese food. It was very relaxing to just be able to sit around and laugh. Yes, back at home I stayed in bed but it wasn’t the same. They were too afraid of everything that they weren’t themselves around me anymore. The normalcy I was craving is what Naiyla was providing. I didn’t hear from Landon until that night. I considered sending his call to voicemail but decided that was too childish.
I answered right before it went to voicemail. “Hello?”
“Lucy…”
I waited for several seconds but he didn’t say anything else. I felt a headache coming on already. “Yes?” I prompted him.
He cleared his throat. “Are you coming home?”
I sighed. “No.”
This has got to be one of the most awkward conversations we’ve ever had. It kind of feels like we don’t know how to act towards one
another. “Why?”
I rolled my eyes since that was an easy question. “Because I don’t want to… I’m fine where I am.”
He sighed in frustration. When he spoke again the annoyance couldn’t be mistaken. “And where are you?”
That pissed me off. How dare he act like I’m the problem here? “Wouldn’t you like to know?” I muttered. Sure it was petty but he was definitely bringing out the worst in me right now.
“Yes I would actually.” He snapped.
“Right well good luck on that. Look I really need to go.” I told him and hung up before he could respond. I tossed my phone to the side not bothering to put it on vibrate. If there was one thing I knew about Landon is when he’s fed up and being stubborn he’s going to try a power play in an unusual way. This was one of those times. I knew he wasn’t going to call me back and that was just fine with me.
Naiyla gave me a sad look. “That bad huh?” she asked.
I nodded. “Yes. It got that bad when he screamed while he scolded me then sent me to my room like a child. Then went out all night and came back smelling like a bar and cheap hoochies.”
Naiyla’s eyes widened. “Jesus fucking Christ girl what is going on?”
I shrugged. “I have no idea. I wish I knew, but it’s been like this for weeks. You know how he is… since when does he ever give up on anything that easily? He doesn’t give a shit it seems like. He can’t even stand touching me anymore.”
She frowned. “Are you sure that’s the issue? I mean, I know that boy is crazy about you. I don’t know how he could go straight cold turkey like that. Are you sure you’re reading this correctly?”
I rubbed my temple. “I sure hope I’m not.” I admitted, and we ended the conversation there.
I stayed with Naiyla for two weeks, and during this time I mainly spoke to Nick with his daily calls to check in. Landon only called me once more and asked where I was and if I were coming home. When I told him I wasn’t sure he just hung up on me and never called back. It hurt that he was giving up, but I couldn’t blame everything on him. I mean I wasn’t reaching out to him either and I left without speaking to him. I just wouldn’t be able to take it if he confirmed my suspicions. I know it’s stupid but I’d rather remain blissfully ignorant. Naiyla had met a guy and I decided that it was time for me to head back home. I wouldn’t be selfish and continue to monopolize her time and place. She insisted that I didn’t need to go but it wouldn’t be right that she wouldn’t be able to pursue a relationship because she has me there. I packed up my stuff and waited for Nick to come get me. My palms were sweating the entire ride back to the house and Nick kept throwing me worried glances. He asked me a few times if I was alright. I told him I was but I don’t think I was convincing. Nick pulled into the garage and I saw that Landon was home. I should’ve suspected that because Nick didn’t have Max with him.
Nick let us in and went upstairs to drop off my bag. I went into the family room where Max and Landon were. As soon as I sat down, Max came over and cuddled with me. Landon didn’t even look my way. He left the room early and headed upstairs without a word. I followed behind him about an hour later, I was beat and we might as well get this over with. The only problem was he wasn’t in the room. I looked around and that’s when I noticed that the door to the guest room was closed. So it would appear he didn’t even want to sleep in the same room as me. I closed the door behind me and took a shower. I’ve been wearing Landon’s shirts to bed because they were more comfortable but today I found something of mine that fits. My stomach was massive and in a few more days I’ll be 8 months pregnant.
I heard him come into the room the next morning to get ready for school. I didn’t move a muscle the entire time. He was in and out so I could only assume he just grabbed a change of clothes and left out. I wouldn’t let him get to me the stress wouldn’t be good for the baby. When I was sure everyone was gone I got up and made me breakfast. I don’t care what they say, I cannot live off of takeout and it’s not really healthy. They’re none the wiser that I do cook and feed myself when I’m home alone. I thought long and hard about what to do with Landon and decided that the only thing left to do is just have it out. Clear the air and get it over with. We cannot continue to live together like this. Even if it comes down to me moving out I would, the tension between is keeping everyone on pins and needles. Like Nick and Max has to choose between the two of us and it shouldn’t be like that. I decided to paint and I just let the brush glide across the page. When I was done I examined the piece. There wasn’t anything in particular that I painted it was just a bunch of hard strokes, dark colors, and rough angles. It represented the turmoil going on inside of me perfectly. I set it to the side and decided to take a nap.
When I woke I knew everyone was home. I didn’t go downstairs I stayed in our room and waited for him to come up. I began to read and he finally showed himself when I was halfway through the book getting to the good part. He didn’t say anything to me and went straight to the bathroom to take a shower. When he came out I just couldn’t take it anymore.
“So this is how we’re going to live for now on?” I asked him.
He sighed but didn’t face me. “What are you talking about?”
My eyes narrowed. “Don’t play dumb with me Landon… you know what I’m talking about.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about so why don’t you spell it out for me Lucy. Don’t waste my time.”
That pissed me off. I picked up a pillow and tossed it at him. My aim has never been that great because I caught him square in the back of the head. His body straightened and he turned around. He looked at the pillow on the ground then back to me. After he did it for the second time his eyes narrowed. “Did you just throw that at me?”
I rolled my eyes. “No it was Casper the friendly ghost. Stop being such a dick!”
His breathing sped up and I could see the anger in him flaring up. Good. I shouldn’t be the only one angry right now. “You can keep that sarcastic bullshit to yourself Lucy. What the fuck is your problem?”
I growled and sat up so that I was on my knees on the bed. “My problem? You’re the one with the problem Landon. Just spit out what the issue has been.”
He took two huge steps towards me closing the distance. “My problem Lucy? You’re the one that thinks it’s ok to just fucking disappear into thin air with my baby while you’re supposed to be on bed rest.”
That was all it took for me to explode. I stood up so that I was standing in front of him and poked him in the chest. “IT’S BECAUSE OF YOU! You were the one who was avoiding me like I was fucking gross or something. You were the one keeping secrets and acting different. You were the one that treated me like a petulant child and screamed at me just because I cooked sitting fucking down. Then what do you do? You disappear. You go out and get drunk and come back smelling like cheap bitches. Then you act like I’m the fucking problem when I decide to separate myself from your bullshit so that I’m not stressed so that OUR baby is healthy and comes when he’s supposed to.”
He took a step back and ran his hands through his hair. “You want to know the secret Lucy? Is that what you want? You’re acting like a spoiled fucking brat because you want to know what I’ve been up to? You couldn’t just ask like a normal person right, you just let that shit fester. Come on Lucy… let me show you what I’ve been doing.”
He grabbed my arm and I snatched it back. “Don’t put this all on me Landon. It wasn’t just the secrets. You don’t even touch me anymore. Who do you go to now to get your rocks off huh? You should buy the bitch better perfume, I wouldn’t mind recommending some.”
He growled at me and snatched my arm back. “No. you brought this shit up. You want to fight about it, so come on Lucy.” He tugged on my arm for me to follow him. He didn’t pull hard but it was enough to get me moving. I was so pissed off that I just had to see whatever bullshit he was about to pull.
He pulled me out of the room and into the hall. He opened the doo
r to Max’s old room and pulled me inside shutting the door behind him. He hit the lights and spun on me. “THIS IS MY BIG FUCKING SECRET LUCY. Fucking surprise!” He screamed.
I looked around the room and gasped. He had done the nursery. There was a crib with a matching change table and dresser. The room was painted a pretty shade of green and the curtains were a pale blue. The bed sheets and comforter in the crib matched the curtains. There was animals painted on the walls and all the clothes and crap that we bought were put away. There was a comfortable looking rocking chair in the room and a small sofa. The entire floor was covered with these plush puzzle pieces that had the alphabet on it. There was a bookshelf filled with children books.
I turned to look at Landon. “You were putting together the nursery?” I said but it was more of a statement than question.
He sighed and ran his hand through his hair in frustration. “Yes Lucy. I was ordering stuff and looking things up. I know how badly you wanted everything ready, and with you on bed rest you can’t get around to do things like you had started. I spoke to Erica to get what your ideas were and I wanted to surprise you with it. But not like this.”
I shook my head. “But why do you try to stay away from me… and where the hell were you that night?”
He groaned. “I can’t touch you. You know how much I want you all the time Lucy. Touching you is torture to me knowing I can’t have you. I try to avoid temptation.” He walked up to me and cupped my face in his hands. He placed a soft kiss on my lips and let his hands trail down my arms and around my back to my butt. He pulled back with another groan. He rubbed himself against me and I could feel how hard he was. “Do you feel that Lucy? You did that and I barely touched you. Do you see my problem?” he asked softly.
Keeping Her (The Lexington Series Book 2) Page 19