by Brinda Berry
I ball my hands at my sides. “That guy has to come along? What’s his deal? Is he your chaperone?”
“He’s the director,” she says as if I’m dense. “You’re lucky we aren’t bringing another camera guy. I put my foot down when they wanted the whole crew.”
“He wants to sleep with you.”
She narrows her eyes. “You have it all wrong. I’ve known Tony for years. He’s like an older brother. He is not interested in me.”
I shake my head at her naivety. “Mm hm. You keep telling yourself that.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Trust me. I’m a man. I know these things.”
She turns from me to study Tony. I thought women could sense these things. Some kind of attraction intuition.
Her radar’s obviously jammed. What if she has no clue that I’m trying to spend time alone with her? My plan for a weekend in the wilderness went right over her head.
Or did it? Is she deflecting? Fighting the pull we have for each other since we’re on this show together? Because no one else has to know if we see each other. She could’ve disappeared with me for a weekend of research about matching me with someone, a perfectly plausible explanation.
Then she seals the deal on my suspicions that she’s forcing me into the friend zone because she’s scared. She does know how I feel, because she holds out her hand for a fist bump. I’ve never been fist bumped by a woman in my life.
I’m positive it’s as awkward for her as it is for me.
I grin at her effort, enclose her soft hand in mine, and rub my thumb along the knuckles. “I’m glad you’re looking out for me. It gets cold at night where we’re going. Think you can convince her to sleep in my tent?”
“This is a first date.” She jerks her hand out of mine. “Are you really such a horndog? No wonder you’re still single.” She turns to walk to the group.
Behind her back, I smile. “That must be why you’re still single, too. I was only talking about sleeping. Get your mind out of the gutter.”
Chapter Fourteen
Savor
Current Day
Kiley
Camping gear occupies every spare inch of Tony’s SUV. Cameraman Roy sits in the backseat of Gunner’s Jeep so he can film them talking and flirting and who knows what else. I close my eyes in the passenger seat and feign sleep so I won’t keep staring at the Jeep ahead, wondering what Addison and Gunner are doing.
“That guy is hardcore,” Tony says with a hint of amusement in his voice.
I open my eyes and glance at him. “Hardcore?”
“I thought he was going to blow a fuse when I insisted on Loretta Lynn’s Ranch.”
“Maybe we should’ve let him take us to the camping spot where he planned. You know he didn’t realize what we were doing. I feel like we deserve his bad mood.”
Tony shakes his head. “He wanted some backwoods scene where we’d have no electricity and no bathroom for miles. That’s not going to cut it. America wants to see both of them looking fresh and attractive, not grubby.”
“I don’t know. It could’ve been interesting. Real.”
“This is as dirty and real as you’ll want to get. Admit it. You haven’t ever been camping and I’m rescuing you with this idea.” He chuckles under his breath.
I stare out at the Jeep, wishing I were riding with Gunner instead. I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.
I wake when we arrive at the campground check-in. After paying the camping fee, we decide to do a quick hike so we can film it. Gunner suggests a shorter route, and Tony and I follow along in the rear with Roy filming behind the couple.
Addison begins whining about two miles into the hike. I swear by my favorite Gucci purse the girl told me she does weekend hikes all the time.
“It feeds my soul to walk miles in God’s country,” I repeat her words under my breath. Women like her give us all a bad reputation.
“How much farther?” she asks. “Can we take a break?”
“Not yet,” Gunner answers, since we took a break half an hour ago. He glances back at me and widens his eyes in an exasperated expression.
“Addison?” Tony edges around Roy on the narrow trail and touches her back. “Are you feeling OK?”
Ugh. He’s babying her. I’m wearing brand new boots, my jeans are too tight, and I wish I’d skipped the makeup. Still, I’m not complaining.
“I think I may be dehydrated,” she answers. “Can I have a drink?”
“Of course.” Tony signals to the cameraman. “Roy? Let’s cut video. We don’t want some idiot at the studio sneaking this into a blooper reel.”
Tony passes her a flask. “Here you go.”
I avoid Gunner’s gaze. After promising I’d select a good match from the speed dating rounds, Addison makes me look bad. I’m not doing it on purpose, but at this point, I couldn’t blame him for thinking otherwise.
“Is this wine?” Addison tips the flask up again.
“You can’t give her wine.” Gunner’s expression grows murderous. “She really will be dehydrated.”
“I can give her wine so we’ll all have a good time as we go the last mile or two.” Tony winks at me behind Addison’s back.
Gunner throws up his hands. “Fine. You’re in charge of this circus.”
My back hurts and I hate the way Addison puffs out her chest every time Gunner looks her way.
Ugh. I might need that wine before long.
Roy adjusts the camera on his shoulder. “Turn the camera back on?”
Tony makes a rolling motion with his finger. “We’re good to go.”
“Addison, take this.” Gunner hands her a water bottle from his pack. “You should always drink plenty of water while hiking.”
She beams at him. “Thanks. You’re so sweet.”
“Not really. I don’t want you to pass out before we get there,” he says, control in his polite tone.
I hang back a little to tie the laces of my boot and Gunner stops and lets the others walk ahead. “Don’t fall behind,” he says.
“If I had an attraction barometer for the looks you give Addison, it would sink to ten below. I’m going to be the laughing stock of television and worst Matchmaker in the history of Forever.”
He chuckles. “Sounds like your problem. Not mine.”
Addison lied to me about her love for the outdoors and hiking. Surely, the audience will sympathize with me.
Gunner pivots and walks ahead, moving at a clipped pace. He probably wishes he could lose us all.
I stare at his fine ass. OK. Hiking into the wild blue yonder with Gunner in the lead definitely has its perks.
An hour later, we’ve arrived back at the trail head. Gunner slows and turns around, walking backward. He lifts his red baseball cap from his head and wipes his brow with his forearm. “We should probably set up camp before it gets dark.”
Tony glances around. “You’re the boss. Kiley can help with my tent.”
I wonder if Tony’s camped a lot. He appears comfortable with it all. “OK.” I follow Tony to the right of our assigned clearing.
To my surprise, Gunner allows Addison to help him set up his tent. Roy shoots footage for a while, but it’s actually boring from what I can see. He puts his camera down and busies himself with gathering fallen limbs and small sticks. Men must come out of the womb knowing this stuff, because Addison and I wait around for direction on every task.
When the camp is prepared, I stand back and look at our work. Roy has a tent so small I can’t imagine that he’ll fit inside. The other two tents are similar in size.
“Now what?” I ask, standing over Roy as he makes a neat little pyramid of the sticks. He’s a big man and I divert my gaze away from the inch of crack peeking above his non-working belt.
“We have a good time. Or the lovebirds over there have a good time,” he answers between blowing on the flame he’s started in the tiny branches.
“Oh,” I say, my stomach doing an uneasy flip at the thought.
>
Addison and Gunner stand to the side, talking. They’ve finished putting his tent up. Now that Addison has stopped whining and everything has settled, Gunner doesn’t seem to mind her so much. Roy videos their conversation and Tony sits in his SUV taking a phone call.
I glance around our sparse campsite.
Three tents. Well, two and a half if I’m honest. Roy’s tent doesn’t look like it could sleep a dog, much less his bulk.
Two small tents. Four adults.
I should’ve done the math before this point, but I was so caught up in trying to make sure I could pull off this date for Gunner that I didn’t think ahead to this situation.
I guess I’d assumed we’d segregate by gender—a guys’ tent and a girls’ tent. What am I? Dumb as dirt?
Gunner walks across the camp toward me and Roy follows him. “I brought some food in the Jeep. Want to help?”
“Am I supposed to be on tape?” I ask Roy. He shrugs and continues to film.
Addison watches us with a predatory eye, as if I’m about to steal her man. Seeing he’s her date, she has a right to wonder why he’s talking to me. “Maybe Addison should help.”
“If you want me to keep smiling, you’ll pretend to be thrilled to help me.” He walks to his Jeep, expecting me to follow. Roy again follows.
Gunner gives him a dirty look and motions to me. I catch up in two strides.
“Is something wrong?” I whisper to his back.
“Yeah.”
“Cats?”
He glances at me over his shoulder with a wide-eyed look, then over at her. “No.”
“Her whining during the hike?” I ask, forgetting that Roy still points his camera at us. I lean against the Jeep while he sticks his body across the backseat and grabs a soft cooler.
“No,” Gunner answers.
“Then what?”
“She drinks.”
“So do you.”
“It was the middle of the hike. I don’t consider that wine o’clock.”
I roll my eyes. Oh well. All of America will be entertained with this exchange. “Maybe she was nervous. Or thirsty.”
Gunner puts a hand on the top of the open Jeep door and leans down, shielding his face from Roy and the camera. “Quit making excuses for her. I have certain standards and she doesn’t meet them.”
“Come on. She’s bright. She wants kids. She’s as thin as a supermodel…” I wave my hand in the air. “Just the way you guys like them.”
All these reasons sound lame to me once I voice them. Lame laced with catty.
Both his eyebrows jack up. He smirks, the corner of his mouth twitching. “She’s too skinny. I like my women to have hips. I’d like to think she’s eaten a couple of burgers this year. Sort of like you.” He steps back and his eyes rake down my body to rest on my hips.
My face tingles with warmth. I’m not sure whether to be insulted or complimented. “Stop it. You’re not funny.”
“Maybe I’m a little pickier than you thought.” He closes the Jeep door and strides toward the fire pit. “Time to eat,” he announces.
I try to figure out if he’s mad or simply bent on proving how difficult my job is going to be. There’s no way to know for sure, but I’d bet on the second.
Gunner unloads his cooler of drinks and cold hot dogs. He spears the wieners onto metal roasting forks and never says a word as he prepares them.
Addison and I again stand to the side looking pretty useless. Night falls and a chilly night breeze sprays embers from the fire pit. We both step back and wait for dinner.
The smell of food cooking at our camp and those around ours makes my mouth water. I didn’t know a hot dog could smell so great. We eat like it’s our last meal, or at least I do.
Addison picks at her food and spends her time staring at Gunner. I’m tempted to advise she eat if she wants a second date. But I keep quiet. The last thing I need is to look catty on national television.
“I’m going in,” Roy says, cradling the camera. He states this like he’s an undercover cop, all serious and determined. He’d better think that way. It will be a miracle if he can squeeze himself into the compact tent.
We watch in amazement as he does manage to caterpillar inside.
Gunner turns to me and Addison. “I’ll be back in a minute. I’m going to the showers.”
We both mutely nod at him and watch him head in the direction of the communal campground buildings.
Addison raises both hands above her head and yawns. “I think I’m ready to call it a night. Hope we don’t keep anyone awake.”
She heads toward Gunner’s tent. My mouth drops open and my heart begins to pound. Gunner’s going to return and find Addison in his tent. I’ll have to sit on the other side of thin nylon walls imagining his lips and hands and body on hers. There’s no way I’m sticking around for this form of torture.
A nauseous wave of realization rolls over me. I’m going to witness him sleeping with another woman and all I can wish is that it was me instead.
I walk quickly to Tony’s vehicle and retrieve a towel and tube of body wash. Once I find my toiletry bag, my hands shake so much I barely hang on it.
“I’m going to take a shower.”
“I’ll walk you,” Tony says, seeing my towel and taking the cell phone away from his ear.
“I’m fine to walk alone.” I close the door and leave the campsite like I’m running from Bigfoot. There are lanterns out and a full moon, so it’s not too dark. Voices travel throughout the area with people talking low. The sound of a guitar would be pleasant if not for the romantic ambiance it lends, like backdrop music for Gunner and Addison.
Inside the ladies showers, I undress and step into the curtained shower stall. The water is hot. I couldn’t ask for better, considering I had expected much worse. I stand perfectly still as water slides down my back and into my face.
My stomach churns and I regret the hot dogs with too much ketchup and mustard. Maybe Addison was smart not to indulge.
I place my hands against the shower wall, not caring about germs. Dropping my hands, I examine the mold growing in the tile grout. OK. I care a little about what lurks in this place.
A choked sound escapes me, and I cry for only a minute. If only I hadn’t glimpsed what it could be like with him. If only he hadn’t dropped by at the exact moment Dad and Tony wanted to find something new and exciting for the show. If only he’d pretended in the beginning to believe in love, I’d have believed him or convinced him or…
I’d probably have ended up heartbroken. That’s what.
My father’s question last year echoes in my brain. “Why do you want to do Forever? Honestly, the show’s on its way down. I want my daughter to star on something on its way up,” he’d said.
“Because everyone deserves a forever.”
I step out of the shower and towel dry my hair and body.
I’m better than this. Gunner deserves a forever.
* * *
When I return to camp, I twirl around twice, searching for Tony’s vehicle. Gone. Where did he go at this hour? And why did he leave me?
I’m in dire need of the wine flask.
Gunner’s tent moves as someone bumps against the side. I pivot, ready to bolt because there’s no way I’m sticking around to listen and watch like some Peeping Tom.
The sound of a zipper causes me to turn around and then back up in horror.
“Hey, where do you think you’re going?” Gunner pokes his head through the tent flap.
“I…um…I…”
He unzips it farther. “Want to come in here?”
“Oh. No. I…” I step back and my heel hits something solid. I freeze.
“What’s the matter with you?”
“Go back in there with her,” I whisper loudly, my eyes wide. “Quit talking to me!”
“Back with who?”
“Addison!” I whisper-yell slightly louder than I’d intended. I don’t want her to stick her head out. I imagine she’ll l
ook all satisfied. Maybe she won’t be wearing all her clothes.
I’ll want to kick her ass or his. Probably both.
“She’s gone,” he whisper-yells back. “Your director took her back. Come here and I’ll tell you what happened when you left for a campground tour. I’d rather tell you in private.”
I do as he says and he holds the flap aside so I can step inside his tent.
He isn’t wearing a shirt. Holy Jesus. Abs, triceps, and biceps do a break dance in unison. He’s flipping gorgeous, even in the dark.
He switches on a small flashlight. I sit at one corner of the igloo-shaped interior. “What did you do to her?”
“The woman attacked me.”
I hold back a grin and an urge to do a victory dance. “And you couldn’t defend yourself?”
“She intended to have sex and wasn’t taking no for an answer. When I told her that I wasn’t in to her, she demanded to go back home. Immediately.”
He lays back on his sleeping bag. I see that I’m sitting on a second bag. He’d obviously planned on having a second person in the tent.
Then I remember it was supposed to be me. Warmth floods my belly, and I let my grin break through. I sit on the sleeping bag, then turn to face him.
“You don’t have sex on the second date?”
“You suck at math. Second date?”
I put my face into the pillow and then peer up at him. “Well yeah. The speed date was the first one.”
“Doesn’t count.”
“OK. You don’t do sex on the first date,” I say, trying to get my breathing back under control. Doesn’t he remember we had sex with no dates involved? Men!
He shrugs and gets inside his own sleeping bag. “If I do, at least I’ve bought her dinner first.”
“Hot dogs.”
“She didn’t eat. I watched her.”
I snort. “I think she wanted to look good for you. Guys have no idea how hard it is to be a woman. A hot dog can make the difference between feeling like the Pillsbury doughboy and feeling skinny.”
“I told you how what I think about skinny. A woman needs to be herself. No man wants a fake.”
“Some do. Some want the fantasy. You know…Lara Croft.” I smile at him so I won’t sound so serious.