Cole swallowed hard. It had been his fault.
Back then, Levi had been babysitting for a single-parent friend of his. The ten-year-old charge had invited a bunch of his friends over, and it had been a commotion in the family’s backyard.
Cole had found a bundle of fireworks, telling the kids, Wanna see a grand light show?
They’d yelled yes. Cole had fired one, red and blue sparks bursting in the night sky. Then one of the kids had wanted to set one off, too, so Cole had held the kid’s hands to help light the fireworks.
Somehow, on the third firework, something had gone wrong with the packaging. Instead of flying straight up into the sky, the firework had swerved to the side, into the house. In the dry heat of summer, the blaze had consumed those walls in a heartbeat.
They hadn’t known it at the time, but Levi’s friend and employer, Micah, had been sleeping in the house.
The fire had trapped Micah in there, and given him third-degree burns. They’d only heard his screams when it was too late.
As a result of that fire, Micah was disfigured for life—Cole had seen the guy being carried out by firefighters, unconscious, his skin charred.
Micah had fainted from the smoke inhalation, and he’d had to fight for his life at the hospital. Cole had visited with Levi; Levi had been trembling next to him the whole time. Cole had prayed to every god he knew to keep Micah alive.
You should be Micah’s alpha instead, Levi had said when Micah recovered. He’s been looking for an alpha, but he’s so worried about finding one now. His face is all scarred.
It doesn’t work like that, Cole had told him. I’m not leaving you.
They’d disagreed on that. And every time Levi visited Micah, he’d only grown more distant from Cole—Levi believed himself to be the one at fault for the accident. He hadn’t even been the one to launch the fireworks, but he’d invited Cole to the party.
In the end, the accident had driven a wedge into their bond, and driven them apart.
A couple of times, Cole had considered talking to Levi again, just to find out how he was doing. He hadn’t the heart to look for another omega. Not when he’d disappointed Levi, not when he’d caused Micah’s house to burn down, and he’d given Micah horrendous scars for life.
As an alpha, he should’ve been helping people, not hurting them.
It was why Cole worked at the fire station now. To make up for the things he’d done wrong.
And yet... it never felt like enough. Not when Micah still wore the scars to this day, not when Cole still remembered the moment Levi said, We should break up.
For the past few years, Cole had been contributing to Micah’s childcare bills in secret. He’d done it to assuage the guilt in his chest, but it never seemed like enough. What could you possibly do, when you’d ruined a person’s entire life?
The door to Olivier’s Strings jangled shut. Past the rows of violins and guitars, Cole found his brother behind the counter, hardly a customer here now that it was closing time.
Cole stared at Ollie across the counter, his thoughts a mess. He was here to visit his nephew—that was it.
Except Cole couldn’t help sniffing at the jasmine scent, too. Because it cheered him up, knowing that Levi was safe with Ollie in the shop.
Behind the counter, Ollie frowned. “Levi’s in the backroom. He just said he has a boyfriend.”
That brought all of Cole’s thoughts crashing back down. “What?”
Olivier shrugged and glanced at the backroom entrance. Past that, there was the low murmur of Levi’s voice, all soft and mellow, just like Cole remembered.
He wanted to hear it again. Wanted to just... hold Levi. Breathe him in. Except...
“He has a boyfriend,” Cole said, the words sour on his tongue. He had no right to feel possessive. And yet, jealousy snarled in his gut.
Because Levi had been his, a long time ago. Levi had smiled up at Cole, he’d pulled Cole’s face close to his own, and whispered, Kiss me.
Cole had kissed him thoroughly, countless times.
Olivier shrugged. “I’ve never smelled any alpha’s scent on him for long. But he’s calling his gran, so he might be fibbing.”
That calmed Cole down somewhat. I shouldn’t be feeling this way. It’s not like he has a place for me in his life.
Levi was the one who had left.
The voice in the backroom fell silent. Cole stood with Olivier, reaching out for Taylor. Ollie handed his son over, and Cole held the baby. Wondered if Levi had ever gotten pregnant again.
Once upon a time, Cole had envisioned a family with the three of them—Levi, himself, and the baby in Levi’s belly. Except Levi’s body had rejected the child, and Cole’s heart had splintered.
Time and again, he’d wondered what that baby would’ve grown up to look like.
Taylor babbled at Cole, seven months old and so damn adorable.
Levi stepped out of the backroom then, his gaze locking onto Olivier.
Cole stopped breathing. Just admired the fall of Levi’s auburn hair, the sheen on his pink lips, the slope of his thin shoulders. He was still beautiful, but he’d hidden those hazel eyes behind a pair of thick black glasses.
“You have a boyfriend?” Ollie asked immediately.
“No,” Levi said, looking distraught. “But how do I get one? I’d like one by 10PM.”
Cole hadn’t even been thinking of a solution. He’d just been looking at Levi, feasting his eyes.
But Ollie looked right at Cole, and said, “Cole. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind being your boyfriend.”
And then Levi looked over, like he hadn’t even realized Cole was in the shop at all.
For the first time in years, their eyes met. A tingle slid down Cole’s spine. Then Levi’s gaze darted to the baby in Cole’s arms, before gliding down Cole’s chest, to his hips. Like he was undressing Cole in his mind.
An answering coil of warmth pooled inside Cole. Levi was interested, wasn’t he? There was a distinct heat scent in the shop, and it was most certainly not Olivier’s.
Which meant that heady musk belonged to Levi, and Levi’s thoughts were probably in the gutter.
It sent a sharp, visceral jolt of desire through Cole’s veins. Cole wanted to step closer, wanted to breathe that musk off Levi’s skin. He wanted to hear Levi moan against his lips.
He swallowed. That would be a colossally bad idea, spending more time with Levi. Cole would just get his heart broken again. It had taken a damn long time to mend it.
“You guys would be so good together,” Olivier said.
“No,” Cole and Levi said at the same time.
Olivier smiled a slow smile, that bastard.
“I’m closing shop,” he said. “Levi, your shift ends now. And Cole, I’m taking Taylor back.”
“But I just got here,” Cole said, bobbing the boy in his arms. Taylor giggled, patting Cole’s chest.
Ollie retrieved his son, leaving Cole’s arms cold and empty. “Levi needs help. You’re going to help him.”
Cole hesitated. Even if he was willing... Levi wouldn’t accept his help.
But Levi sighed heavily, trudging toward the front door. Cole’s heart skipped a beat. He hadn’t talked to Levi in forever, either.
He followed Levi out, reaching up to catch the door that Levi was holding open. For the briefest moment, their fingers tangled, Levi’s skin warm against Cole’s.
Levi snatched his hand back like he’d been burned.
Cole swallowed. Does my touch turn you off now?
The shop door closed behind them, leaving them alone on the empty downtown street, a few cars parked next to the sidewalk. It was the most time alone he’d gotten with Levi in a while, and the silence between them stretched.
But Levi was standing next to him, not running away, and that was something.
Cole tucked his hands into his pockets. “Haven’t spoken to you in a while.”
Levi shrugged, scuffing his shoe on the sidewalk. The last time they
’d been in the same place for any amount of time... That was at Ollie’s wedding, and Levi had avoided Cole as much as he could.
“I could ask a couple guys at the station if you need short-term help,” Cole said.
Then he imagined one of those alphas holding Levi, taking Levi to bed, and something possessive snarled in his gut. Especially when Levi smelled like an omega in heat, when he smelled like Cole’s.
Levi fidgeted. “It’s long-term help. A year.”
“You want a boyfriend for a year?”
Levi shrugged, unable to meet his eyes. “Yeah. Actually, it isn’t even a boyfriend I want. I just need someone to stand in as one.”
That sounded weird. “What for?”
“My—my Gran’s sick.” Levi sighed, like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. “She’s offered me a place to stay. I... told her I’d grab the keys with my boyfriend.”
“And you don’t have one.” Hope fluttered in Cole’s chest, unbidden.
Levi shook his head, reaching under his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose. “She wants a great-grandchild if I move in, but I’m not planning to stay that long. I just... I don’t know. I shouldn’t accept it.”
Except Levi’s expression—he looked wistful, longing. And that made something in Cole’s chest swell.
He knew the warmth of this omega in his arms. A year wasn’t that long. Hell, Levi didn’t even want a boyfriend. There wasn’t any real commitment, so Cole couldn’t fuck up again.
If Cole could stop himself from falling back in love...
“Do you want the baby?” Cole blurted.
Levi made to speak, stopping himself. He tried again a couple times, and finally said, “Maybe.” Then he laughed, self-deprecating. “I just want the house. It’s the one I used to visit. The—the one with the cobblestone courtyard.”
Yeah, Cole remembered that mansion. He remembered grabbing Levi and jumping with him into the pool, and they’d made a grand old splash. Levi had surfaced and grinned, shoving his hands into Cole’s pants.
Gods, they’d been so young and carefree back then.
“I’ll take the baby if you don’t want it,” Cole said. “No strings attached?”
Levi’s eyes widened. “You... you what?”
“I’ll take the baby,” Cole said. “Especially if it’s mine.”
And yours.
Levi’s ears turned a bright red. He looked away, his tongue darting over his lips. “We’ll... we’ll see about that. The baby isn’t necessary if I break the agreement before a year, I think.”
“You don’t want to live there for more than a year?”
Levi shook his head. “Just one is enough. Then I’ll return the house to her.”
It didn’t make sense, but at the same time, it did. Because Levi was self-sacrificing like that. Cole knew this best, out of everyone. Somehow, instead of making him angry now, it only tugged at his heart.
“So the boyfriend,” Cole said. “You have anyone in mind?”
Levi glanced at the time on his phone. “She said she’d be awake until 10. That’s in forty-five minutes, and it takes twenty minutes to drive. So... I have twenty minutes to find a pretend boyfriend.”
“Where are you planning on finding one?”
Levi’s throat worked. He met Cole’s eyes, then looked quickly away. “I... don’t know.”
It wasn’t like there was anyone yelling on the streets wanting to volunteer. And Cole wasn’t particularly inclined on giving Levi away at the station. Not without punching whoever ended up sleeping with Levi.
“It doesn’t have to be tonight,” Levi mumbled. “I just wanted to get the keys.”
“You want the house that much, huh?”
Levi rolled his shoulders, but Cole heard the yes that Levi didn’t voice.
“I’m just nostalgic.” Levi smiled crookedly. “It’s a year-long commitment. I don’t need anyone putting up with that.”
“It wouldn’t be much pretending, would it?”
“I don’t know. Twice-a-month visits, maybe dinners, maybe family gatherings.” Levi winced. “Oh, gods, I don’t want to lie to everyone.”
Twice a month seemed okay. Enough distance to not break Cole’s heart. Cole swallowed. “I could do it.”
Levi’s gaze flew up to meet his. “You—You would?” he croaked.
Cole shrugged. “It’s just dinners, right? I could, yeah.”
He ignored the way his heart thumped. Levi as his again? Even if it was a pretense... It seemed as good an excuse as any to just hold that omega.
Cole wet his lips, reaching over to catch Levi’s hand. “If I get into this with you... I’m gonna have to touch you. To make things look real. You okay with that?”
3
COLE
LEVI’S HAND was warm against his, his skin a little dry, his fingertips soft. Cole rubbed their thumbs together, then realized he wasn’t supposed to be doing that. He held his breath, wondering if he should’ve stopped.
But Levi seemed not to mind. Was it because he was in heat, or...?
“I guess it’s fine,” Levi said, a blush rising on his cheeks. “You can touch me. But—but only when it’s necessary.”
Then he pulled his hand away, and Cole fought the pang of disappointment in his chest.
“I’ll drive,” Levi said. “I know the route.”
Disappointed, Cole followed Levi back into the shop, where Ollie looked at them with interest.
“It’s a trial,” Levi said loudly.
Olivier’s face lit up like the sun, though. Cole wished he could say, We’re just faking it. But they were doing this on Levi’s terms. That meant Levi got to decide who found out it was real.
In the employee parking lot, Cole climbed into Levi’s car. Breathed in the scent of jasmine all around him. It was familiar, and yet so new.
And with the musk of Levi’s heat... part of Cole stirred, the part that tightened his pants.
“You got a car,” Cole said.
Levi rolled his eyes. “I bought a fourth-hand one when I was nineteen. Then I sold it for this, which is secondhand.”
“It’s nice,” Cole said, glancing at the clean center console. Mostly, he couldn’t keep his eyes off Levi, after Levi had repeatedly hidden himself away when they’d bumped into each other before this.
Levi was slim, his jaw sharp, his lips pressed thin with concentration. He didn’t look so different from when they were eighteen, just a little older. His clothes still clung to his narrow chest, his slender thighs. And he was ever so pretty, with or without those glasses.
“Stop looking at me,” Levi muttered, turning the car onto the street.
“You know I’d have to look at you anyway, right? When we get to your Gran’s. And if we’re sticking with this, I’ll be looking at you through the rest of the year.”
“It’s just in front of my Gran, so... maybe twice a month. It’s not that much.”
It did sound good, though. Twice a month, when Cole could touch Levi, and it would be okay.
Did he still love Levi? Cole didn’t know. But with the way his instincts said to crowd in close to Levi, protect him... Maybe. Probably.
They drove into the richer side of town, where houses lay on larger plots of land, and tall hedges and iron gates hid away some properties.
Levi parked in front of a small house, surrounded by raised beds of crops and just one other car. A light came on behind the living room curtains.
“She’s living here instead of that big house?” Cole asked, surprised.
“She said that house was way too big for her.” Levi shrugged. “It’s so pretty, though.”
They got out of the car. At the doorstep, Cole wrapped his arm around Levi, and pulled him close. Levi’s breath hitched; he stood stiffly against Cole.
“Relax,” Cole murmured, leaning to whisper in his ear. “You’re supposed to be used to me.”
Then he stroked his palm down Levi’s spine to calm him, like he’d done year
s before.
Levi trembled, his eyes growing wide. Did he... still like Cole’s touch?
The door swung open, Levi’s grandmother in her nightgown and hair curlers. “Levi!” she exclaimed, craning her neck to meet Cole’s eyes. “And—oh, Levi, you didn’t tell me it was Cole you married!”
Well, that was awkward.
Levi cringed. “We aren’t married, Gran. We’re just—just boyfriends.”
“Yeah,” Cole said. “We’ve been talking about it, though.”
Levi smiled, but it looked more like a wince.
“Come in, come in,” Gran said, hugging both of them. She looked older than Cole remembered—more wrinkles, her hair whiter, her arms thinner. “I made some tea for you.”
We’re staying for an hour? Cole hadn’t expected that. In hindsight, he should’ve expected it, because it was Levi’s gran they were visiting.
“It must be late for you,” Gran said, coughing into her elbow. “I’ll get you the keys, and you can head on to your new home.”
And then she smiled meaningfully at them. “I’m sure Cole wants to start on the baby-making as soon as you can.”
Levi spluttered. Cole just stared. He’d been a lot younger when he’d first met Gran. She hadn’t been so forward at that point.
Gran poured them two cups of tea. Cole took one, sipping. It tasted like a mix of green tea and... rice?
“It’s a special blend from Japan.” Gran poured a cup for herself. “It’s said to increase strength and fertility. Although... you don’t need it, do you?” She sniffed at Levi. “I’m surprised Cole didn’t keep you home! You’re in heat!”
And, what, fuck him? Cole swallowed. When he’d said he would pretend to be Levi’s boyfriend, he hadn’t expected to be talking about their sex lives, or lack thereof.
“Gran!” Levi groaned, covering his face. “We don’t talk about that!”
“Well, someone has to,” she said pointedly. Gran coughed again. “You need someone pushing you along in life, Levi. And you too, Cole.”
“I’ll see to it that Levi gets... his heat sated,” Cole said, clearing his throat. He wouldn’t, because this was just a pretense, but... well. The thought of having Levi pinned beneath him, panting with the intensity of his heat, presenting himself...
The Pretense (Men of Meadowfall Book 7) Page 2