Speaking of protecting your child, Penny had to figure out a way to get herself out of the situation she’d gotten into with Scott Hammons, before anyone found out she was involved. Hammons was proving more and more every day that he wasn’t stable. He’d even asked her personal questions about her grandchildren. He’d gone ballistic, demanding answers she wasn’t willing to give, and that was where Penny drew the line. She was beginning to worry that maybe, for once, she’d been wrong. And she wasn’t sure if it was that or Mr. Hammons’ unraveling mental state that scared her more.
Eleven
Scott didn’t really want to kill the damned doggie, but sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. The angels were getting angry with him, telling him he wasn’t moving fast enough. He hated it when the angels were mad at him. They made the voices worse. They made them louder. Oftentimes they were so loud he couldn’t hear anything else but them telling him he wasn’t good enough, he was isn’t smart enough, and that it was his fault he was alone and his fault he had nothing. It was only when he did something really smart, in this case killing the dog, they would smile upon him and quiet the voices. They were happy with him for now.
But he could tell you who wasn’t happy with him, and that was that dimwit, Penny Greyer. She was growing antsier by the day, more insistent that he show her some proof that her little whore of a daughter-in-law was doing something wrong. While Scott hadn’t been able to prove it, he was sure she was seeing Hartman again. He just hadn’t been able to get close enough yet, in part thanks to the increased security measures he noticed. But make no mistake he was watching and waiting, and if he could kill two birds with one stone, so to speak, he was damned sure going to do it. In the meantime, Penny had better get ahold of herself. Apparently, she didn’t know whom she was messing with here. The angel’s anger he could take because he understood their love for carrying out God’s will. Penny Greyer, however, was another matter, and the more he thought about it, the more he realized that it was probably her fault the voices were getting louder.
Thankfully for him, but clearly not for his intended targets, it was looking as though he was going to officially get off of the electronic monitoring bracelet in the few next weeks. His attorneys were pushing to get his trial bumped up and get him cleared quickly. He wanted his name cleared, sure, but none of it mattered much to him, as he was smart enough to get around the system. And anyway, it was that piece of shit Hartman’s security team that was holding him back, not the fact that they were trying to track and trace him. The restraining order was a joke too; one hundred yards was all he had to work with. There was so much you could do from a just a hundred yards away. One as agile and brilliant as he was could get in and out without too much effort just as he had with the dog. If only it had been that little bitch who had gone back to her car instead. He so wanted to see the look on her face when she saw her precious pet splayed out like that. He wanted her to see all the blood, the carnage, and to know that he was coming for her next. It was all very simple, really. He just had to stay within the shadows, to watch and to wait. The angels assured him it would all play out in his favor. After all, it was God’s will he was doing.
The questions began as they packed the car and they hadn’t stopped since. Addie stared out the window and watched as the city gave way to country, taking her farther and farther away from where she really wanted to be. Feeling the car closing in around her, she rolled the window down and inhaled as much air as her lungs could possibly take until she felt as though she might drown. She held her breath and tried escape the boys’ rapid-fire questions. I thought you and Daddy were getting divorced? Does this mean you’re staying together? Why are we going to the lake? What about school? Where’s Max? Why isn’t he coming with us? It’s too cold to swim! What are we going to do there?
“ENOUGH with the questions, already!” Addie snapped. Patrick looked over at her and placed his hand on hers. Relax. Everything was fine, he’d said. But everything wasn’t fine. Addie pulled her hand away and leaned her head against the cool, smooth glass of the passenger window. It had only been a few hours, and she missed him desperately already. How could she get through the next few days, the next few weeks, or quite possibly the rest of her lifetime without seeing him? Without touching him? Addie closed her eyes and recalled the words she’d written, unable to get them out of her mind.
Dear William,
Patrick, the boys, and I have gone up to the lake house for a bit, until we figure everything out. I’m sure you already know much of this, but I wanted you to hear the words directly from me, for what it’s worth.
I realize that you and I left a lot of things unsettled, but I want you to know that I love you. I love you so much, William. And I’m so sorry that life for us has been this complicated. You’re right that there is an undeniable attraction between the two of us. When I’m with you, I’m able to feel things that I’m unable to say. You understand what it is I need, oftentimes, before even I myself know what those things are. Still, this has been an uphill battle all the way for you and me, mostly, I believe, in part due to the timing of it all. But it shouldn’t be like this. I know that you know this too.
I’m hoping that a little time and space will allow us both to see things a little more clearly. Sure, what we have has been difficult, but it’s also been more beautiful than I could ever imagine, and that’s what I’ll take away from it for now. If I’ve learned anything in life, it’s been that love isn’t always enough. Maybe there’s no happy ending for us, but the truth is, I realize now that’s okay. It doesn’t stop me from still wanting the all the beauty that I know life has in store for you. You deserve so much more than the lies about ourselves that we’ve been led to believe were true, lies about being unworthy and unlovable and unimportant. If you do nothing else for me, William, do this: Stop. Please, stop believing the lies. They’re not true, not one of them. You are capable of love, of loving, and of being loved. I know it’s easy to escape into the pain when the going gets tough, because that’s what you know. It’s all you’ve ever known. But don’t. You’re better than that. You deserve to be with someone who takes you as you are because you’re beautiful, smart, and generous. You’re everything good that there is in this life, William, you and all the parts of you. From now on, I pray that you’ll find and embrace the joy in the pain, in a different, healthier way and that even in the midst of the pain, you’ll know that you are worthy of more. If you won’t do it for yourself, then, please, do it for me.
All my love,
Addison
Patrick nudged Addie awake as they started down the long gravel drive. How she managed to sleep nearly the entire way was beyond him. Thankfully, it had given him some time to think about what he wanted out of this time with family. He knew he’d have to tell his wife about the pregnancy and the fact that he was still seeing Michele. Either he did it or Michele would do it as she’d continuously threatened. The only reason that she had even let him get away without first letting the cat out of the bag was because he promised that he would finally tell Addison the truth. And maybe he would. He’d have to eventually anyway, he knew that. But on the off chance that he and his wife still had a shot, he wanted to try. Perhaps it was possible for them to forget everything they’d both done to hurt one another and move on from it. If his parents could do it, maybe they could too.
Patrick had begged Michele to have an abortion, knowing the wrath he’d face due to the pregnancy not only from his wife but also from work and probably most of all from his parents. She had refused and had clearly decided she was having this kid with or without him in the picture, which made Patrick wonder if she’d really been on the pill at all. Either way, the way he saw it, he was fucked. Addison had already filed for a divorce and moved out, so he wasn’t holding out a lot of hope there, regardless of what did or didn’t happen at the lake.
“What time is it? Did I really just sleep the entire way?” Addie asked groggily, interrupting his thoughts.
Addie sighed. “Carry them.”
Once they’d gotten the boys settled in their beds, Addie put on a pot of coffee and settled things inside the house while Patrick finished bringing in the rest of their bags. When he returned, he could see that she appeared to be upset and upon further inspection that she’d been crying.
“Is everything okay?” he asked gently.
Addie rubbed her eyes and headed for the bathroom. “Yeah, I’m just tired; that’s all.”
“Hey, Addison,” he called.
She stopped and turned. “Yeah?”
Patrick exhaled slowly. “I want to apologize for doubting you about this Hammons character. I should’ve done more, before. But I promise from now on I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure that you guys are safe.”
Addie smiled weakly. “I know.”
“I’m going to get set up in the guest room; you can take the master.”
Addie turned back towards the bathroom, but what she said next nearly knocked him to the floor. “Actually, I was thinking that maybe tonight you could hold me the way you used to.”
“You got it.” Patrick replied as he picked up his suitcase and headed for the master bedroom, unable to hide the smile in his voice.
Addie quietly closed the bathroom door, turned on the water and let herself slowly slide to the floor. She sobbed until she could sob no more and then reached for her phone, opened her email, and read through the email once again. She read the words once and then again, just to make sure they were really there.
From: William Hartman
Date: 01/21/13
To: Addison Greyer
Subject: Mercy
Dearest Addison,
I’m happy you’ve left town as I think it’s the best thing for you and the boys.
After reading your letter, I did some thinking, and as much as I hate to admit it, you are right. It doesn’t appear that there is a happy ending for us the way I’d once hoped. I will say that when I heard you’d planned to leave town with him I was furious, wondering how you could betray me, or rather betray us, like that. But then the more I thought about it, the more it started to sink in that you’d made these plans before the incident this afternoon with your car, and I think I finally realized that it would always be this way with him. I finally understood that, no matter what, he’ll always come first in your life, for no other reason than he’s the father of your children.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that this is just too much for me. I want you to stay put, Addison. I want you to work it out with your husband, if that’s what you want to do. Either way, maybe what happened today was for the best, if nothing else so that we could finally see how dangerous this relationship is for all of us. Also, for what it’s worth to you, I want you to know that I do love you, in my own way, I guess. But I would be lying to the both of us if I tried to keep up the front that one woman would ever be enough for me. Unfortunately, I’m just not made that way, and while you say that you’re okay with it, trying any further would have been disastrous to us both.
William
After a while she stood and washed her face then hopped in the shower and let the hot water wash over her. She knew she shouldn’t be so upset. Isn’t this what she’d wanted? For William to walk away? If he was going to leave her in the end, anyway, didn’t it make more sense for it to happen now? It was better just to rip the Band-Aid off and get it over with; she got that. But, if that were the case, then why couldn’t she make herself believe the words he’d written were true?
Twelve
The next few days went by mostly in a blur. The boys were having a blast, fishing and running amok on the property. They’d been blessed with pretty warm weather, which was fairly unusual for January, even in Texas. Addie immersed herself in work, trying to get caught up on everything she’d fallen behind on, in addition to the growing number of leads from the agency. When she wasn’t up to her ears in work, she threw herself into her family, going on hikes, and spending as much time with the boys as she could. In the evenings after dark, Patrick would start the fire, and they’d roast marshmallows, sip hot cocoa, and tell ghost stories until it was past bedtime for boys. Once the boys were in bed, she read while Patrick worked, and then they’d sit and talk for a while about everything and nothing. While it was almost easy to push her incessant thoughts of William out of her mind in the daytime, it was nearly impossible once the sun went down. But even though Addie was heartbroken, she couldn’t help but notice how normal it all felt being at the lake as though if she just tried hard enough, she could pretend everything was okay.
Patrick cleared his throat, interrupting her reverie. “Coming to bed?”
“No. I think I’m gonna read for a while.”
Patrick sat down opposite Addie and thought for a moment before speaking. “Does this, us being here, seem strange to you?
Addie hesitated. “Yeah. A little.”
“Because at times it just seems so normal to me, and then I remember we’re getting a divorce. We should probably talk about that, don’t you think?”
“Probably.” Addie admitted then smiled a little.
“What happened between us? How’d we end up here?”
Addie sighed. “I don’t know exactly, but I’d like to think that we’re equally to blame. I guess we just grew apart. I can’t exactly pinpoint when it happened, but we started living separate lives, you know?”
Patrick reached for her hand. “Do you really want this, Addison? Do you really believe there isn’t a chance at all that we could make it work?”
“I think . . . I mean . . . Yes, I do. What we had has been amazing in a lot of respects. Just look at the three beautiful children we had together. They’re so smart and so much like each of us in their own ways. But they are their own people, you know? That’s kind of how I think of us. We were more alike once, but we’ve changed. We grew up, and became less willing to compromise what it is we want.”
Patrick recoiled. “What happened with William Hartman, Addie? I need to know the details.”
“I made a mistake. I slept with him. And then when you left for China, I was so angry, Patrick. So I just kind of gave into it. I fell in love with him. I never wanted to hurt you. We had just become so distant, and I made a lot of really poor choices. I know that doesn’t excuse any of them, but I just want you know that I am sorry. I’m really, really sorry that I didn’t handle the dissolution of our marriage better. But I hope you know it wasn’t my affair, or even yours, I’m sure, that caused it.”
Patrick stood and walked to the kitchen and poured himself a drink. “You want one?”
“No.”
“I was really hoping after the past few days that there might be a chance for us, you know.”
“I’m sorry, Patrick. I just can’t do it anymore.”
Patrick took his seat again opposite Addie. “Are you going to keep seeing him?”
Addie bit back tears. “I don’t know. I don’t think so.”
“There’s something I need to tell you, Addison.” Patrick said, his tone giving nothing away.
“Okay.” Addie winced.
“Michele is pregnant.”
“Oh.”
“It’s mine.”
Addie shook her head. “Yeah, I think I got that.”
“I don’t know what to do,” Patrick replied, downing his drink.
“What do you think you should do?” Addie asked, patiently.
“She trapped me. That’s what I think.”
Addie laughed. “She didn’t trap you, Patrick. You trapped yourself.”
“Whatever.” Patrick exhaled.
“Do you love her?”
“I love you.”
“Yes, I know. But do you love her?”
Patrick went to the kitchen and poured another dr
ink. “I don’t know. I suppose.”
“Then I think you do know what to do.”
Patrick squeezed the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “I need to know there’s no chance left for us, Addie. I have to know that I did everything I could to save our marriage.”
Addie softened and gave him what she knew he needed. “You did everything. It’s just not going to work with us, Patrick. We’ll still be great parents together, but as far as our marriage goes, it’s over. You can have the boys whenever you want. You can have the house and anything else you want, but I’m going through with the divorce. It really is the best thing for everyone, don’t you think?”
Patrick frowned. “Whatever you say.”
Addie stood, walked to the kitchen, and lightly kissed him on the cheek. “I’m sorry, Patrick,” Addie offered, before she retreated to the guest room and slept like a baby for the first time in a really long time.
Penny gripped the wheel tightly as she made her way to Scott Hammons run down ol’ place on the opposite end of town. She realized it was time to step away from him after he called her in the middle of the night, furious and demanding more money. When nothing he was saying made any sense, something about angels and such, she finally agreed to meet him with this morning with a check, just to get him to stop calling. The last thing she needed was for her husband to find out about their dealings. Plus, Patrick had mentioned there had been some sort of incident with the police, and though he refused to give any details because he was always protecting Addison, of course, Penny couldn’t shake the feeling that it had something to do with Scott Hammons.
Breaking Bedrock (Book Two) Page 9