by Nathan Jones
“Love you,” he finally said, stooping down awkwardly to kiss his much shorter wife. “Be back soon.”
Sam nodded, still not saying a word. He thought he saw a tear slip past the curtain of her dark hair as she turned to go back into the shelter, but that might've been a trick of the predawn glow. Probably not, but it made him feel a little bit better to assume that.
Last night Catherine had asked him to go around to everyone in town who was likely to volunteer and talk to them. Not to pressure them into any decision, or even to ask what they planned to do. Just talk.
It was a nice bit of self-deception, since she might as well have just come out and said she wanted him to do both. Why else would he need to talk to them in the first place? And with the request had come the unspoken assumption that he'd be going with any volunteers he drummed up. And when Matt had agreed he'd basically confirmed her assumption.
It was the last thing he wanted to do, but he was needed. And beyond that, if he stayed behind anyone who was on the fence about volunteering themselves might decide to stay behind too. While if he went others might follow his example.
Williams had said he planned to leave as early as possible, and sure enough when Matt passed town hall he saw that the scouts' truck was gone. The corporal had promised the military would visit again, although the intent behind staying in touch wasn't exactly altruistic.
Above and beyond the request for supplies and volunteers to join the fight, Williams had convinced the town to defend Aspen Hill Canyon and the surrounding foothills and mountain slopes, in the event the fighting ever reached them. It was vital that the enemy not secure any route into the Rockies, since holding the multiple choke points the mountain roads represented was one of the few advantages the military had going for them.
Luckily General Lassiter didn't expect the town to fight a war. Williams was going to report in and have the military send demolitions specialists, to rig explosives at an ideal choke point in the canyon to completely destroy the road and cut off all vehicle travel beyond that point. He just wanted Aspen Hill's defenders to keep an eye on the destroyed road and turn back any incursions on foot the blockheads made into the mountains if they could, or radio in and request help if they couldn't.
It was an important task, and even with the road destroyed more than a little dangerous. A good way for Aspen Hill to do its part without needing to go anywhere. Matt would've been interested in the challenge of scouting the foothills and ravines in the area, to figure out how to prevent anyone from sneaking up into the high country on foot. But since he was one of the volunteers he had a different job to do, and right now that job involved finding people to go with him.
He decided to start with Carl and Tam Raymond first, since the Mayor's own family should be an easy conversation.
Since Tam had fractured her ankle in their attack against the raider camp she'd been out of action, taking the opportunity to spend time at home with her daughter. Matt had visited her a few times to see how she was doing, and yesterday she'd been at the meeting walking normally so he assumed she'd healed well from her injury.
With houses in town so crowded the Raymond family had moved in with their parents at the Mayor's house, along with a few other individuals who'd been displaced from their homes. Even this early in the morning he heard activity inside, so he knocked softly.
Not too long afterwards Scott opened the door, his granddaughter Jennifer sneaking a peek around his leg. When she saw Matt she popped out and waved, and the older man obligingly stepped aside. “Come on in.”
“Thanks.” Matt leaned down to pat the toddler on the head as she ran off to go play, then slipped through the door. “I came to talk to Tam and Carl.”
“Yeah. Catherine's task for you, right?” Scott sighed. “Carl's on patrol. I'll go get Tamara.”
He disappeared up the stairs, and a moment later Tam came down, dressed for the day but yawning as if she'd just woken up. She kissed her daughter when Jennifer ran over to her, then shooed her up the stairs and headed for the door. “Let's talk outside.”
“Sure.” Matt was a bit worried that she wasn't meeting his eye. He followed her out and joined her sitting on the top step of the porch. “I suppose you know why I'm here.”
“Yeah. Mom asked you to recruit volunteers.” Tam gave him an uncomfortable look, then stared west towards the mountains bathed in early morning sunlight. “We're sorry, Matt.”
He gave her a blank look. All through the winter, and especially during the raider attacks, he'd been able to rely on her like few others. He'd thought she'd be an easy sell. “That's a no from both of you?”
The auburn-haired woman gave him a fierce look. “That's right. We've done our best to be there when the town needed us. I didn't mind taking an injury doing what needed to be done, but I won't risk leaving Jennifer without a mom. She's barely started talking and most of her questions are about where her mama and papa are since we've been gone so often helping the town, leaving her to her grandma and grandpa to take care of. I was actually almost glad I fractured my ankle since it gave me a chance to finally spend some time with her.”
She paused, then took a shuddering breath. “I can't do it anymore. I won't. Me and Carl need to get on with our lives for our daughter's sake, not go off and play soldier.”
Matt nodded, disappointed but not surprised. “I understand. The town couldn't ask you for more than you've already done. We'll take care of things from here.” He stood.
Tam stood as well, sounding almost pleading as he made his way down the steps. “We know how bad it is out there, but the town needs people to defend it too. We can at least help with that.”
He turned to give her a miserable look. “I'm not here to guilt anyone. I wouldn't dream of it, after everything you've done for the town. I'm just gathering the names of people willing to go.”
Leaving his friend on the porch, he returned to his bicycle and hopped on.
That had been a pretty depressing meeting, and it didn't leave him in high spirits as he continued on. A niggling worry began in the back of his head that he might be heading off to join the military all on his own.
He visited the Watsons next, and there the news was a bit better. Rick was already packing to leave, and so was Wes. The two were actually arguing about it when he arrived, and the younger brother immediately came over to Matt as he opened the gate into their yard.
“I can go, right?” he demanded.
Matt hesitated and looked at Rick, who glared at him. “You're fifteen, Wes.”
“Sixteen in less than two months!” the young man insisted. “Besides, I helped against the raiders!”
Rick stormed over. “One of us needs to stay here for Mom and Dad, and anyway I'm not letting my kid brother go off to war. Besides, will the military even take people that young? We're more civilized than using child soldiers.”
Wes went red in the face. “Are you trying to tick me off, bro?”
Matt hastily cut in. “Catherine did set the age limit at 18, Wes.” He didn't mention that she'd realistically allowed for exceptions. Wes had done his part to help against the raiders, but never anything too dangerous. He really was just a kid.
The young man swore and stomped into the house, slamming the door behind him. “I'll talk things over with him,” Rick promised. He shook Matt's hand. “I'm guessing you came around to sign me up. I'm ready whenever. How many people do we have so far?”
“You and me.” At his friend's alarmed look he hastily continued. “You were my second stop. Still plenty of daylight.”
“Right.” Rick went over and began moving his things, scattered on the porch, back inside in a neat pile by the door. As he worked he called over his shoulder. “Want me to tag along?”
Matt felt a surge of relief. Not having to do this alone sounded awesome. “You bet.”
Rick had his own bicycle, a smaller kid's bike that he still rode well in spite of the size. Together they set off, his friend looking at him for d
irection on their next stop. “We going to everyone in town?”
“Not everyone. Ben's going to be asking around with his people.” The former refugees had almost completely integrated into the town, but there was still that slight divide there. Ben had done a lot to bridge it.
“So I guess that means Ben's going too. That's three of us.”
“And the cousins and Jane,” Matt added. He hadn't talked to them yet, but he couldn't imagine them refusing. “Let's go talk to Gutierrez.”
To his surprise the former raider, still living in the small room above the auditorium, seemed a bit reluctant even though he immediately agreed. “Is something wrong?” Matt asked.
Gutierrez snorted. “You tell me. I'm technically AWOL.”
“So are half the soldiers out there, right?” Rick pointed out.
The former soldier shrugged. “I said I'll go. I just hope it doesn't cause any trouble.”
On the way out the door they ran into Scott. “Hey,” he said. “Glad I caught you. You took off without talking to me.”
“About volunteering?” Matt asked, a bit surprised. It wasn't that he didn't think the older man was capable, quite the opposite. Maybe it was Scott's age, or because he was so vital to running the town, but it hadn't occurred to Matt that he might want to sign up.
Scott nodded. “I've been partially on the fence about it, but I figure someone should be there who can care for the gear the town's going to be sending along.”
Matt hadn't considered that. Scott had been running the storehouse so he'd make a good quartermaster. “Glad to have you.”
The older man smiled wryly. “I don't suppose many of us want to go, but what we want wasn't usually what we got even before the world went crazy.”
Scott agreed to tag along to help them visit everyone, and so Matt decided the next stop should be the gardens and other places people would be working. It might save a few stops for when they'd exhausted all other options and had to go house to house.
Lewis and Jane were working in their plot when Matt's small group got there. His friends waved, and Jane stayed behind to continue working while Lewis came over.
“Sam mentioned you were out recruiting,” he said, shaking hands all around.
“Working on it, at least,” Matt agreed. “We've got a lot of people to visit. But at least you and Trev live with us so that's one less visit I have to make.” He paused. “Speaking of which, are either of your dads also planning to volunteer?”
His friend looked uncomfortable. “Actually, we've already talked it through. Trev's going to go.”
The silence stretched on uncomfortably as Matt absorbed this news. “Just Trev,” he said flatly.
Lewis nodded, slightly defensive. “We also have our family and everyone else at the shelter to worry about. Defending and providing for them.”
“Are you kidding?” Rick demanded. “Do you realize how many people would feel better about volunteering knowing you'd be along?”
“No, how many?”
Rick hesitated. “Well, me for one! You and Jane are the ones who get impossible things done.”
Lewis's smile had a bit of an edge to it. “I'm sure Trev would love to hear how enthusiastic you all are about him coming along.”
“Oh come on, don't give us that,” Matt snapped. He grabbed his friend's arm and pulled him aside a bit. “You know we need you and Jane,” he said in a low voice.
“So does our family,” Lewis replied. “And we'll be here to help the town in case anything comes up.”
That was starting to sound like a flimsy excuse to Matt. “The town will be fine. They survived the winter, they survived Razor's gang, and they survived the raiders. We can survive this too, but we'll need to face it head on. That means getting as many people as possible out there defending our homes.”
Lewis shook his head. “Yeah, only instead of 50 raiders we're facing a million professional soldiers, coming at us from either direction, and instead of machine guns and missiles we'll be facing tanks and aircraft. It's not completely unreasonable to keep people back to defend the town if that doesn't go so great.”
Matt did his best to keep his temper. “Yeah, but instead of Aspen Hill the enemy will be facing the entire United States military and all its citizens. It's not as lopsided as you might think.”
His friend hesitated, then shook his head slowly. “I'm not sure that's going to be enough.” He hastily continued before Matt could erupt. “I know what Williams said about how we're all doomed if the military fails, and he's probably not wrong. But if we do lose this war and worse comes to worst I want to be here with my family trying to find a way to survive the aftermath.”
“Well aren't you a ball of sunshine,” Matt said sarcastically.
Lewis looked away. “I'm sorry, Matt. Our family's sending Trev, that'll have to be enough.”
Matt pushed down his anger with a sigh. It wasn't fair to give Tam a pass and then tear into his friend, even though he really wanted to. He held out his hand to shake. “I'm going to be a jerk and pretend you're still thinking about it. If you happen to change your mind before we leave you know we'll all be overjoyed about it.”
His friend grimaced. “Fair enough. But I'm not going to. I will give you my word, though, that I'll make sure Sam and the rest of your family are looked after while you're gone. You won't need to worry for them, at least.”
That was something he hadn't considered about Lewis staying behind, and it almost made up for his friend not volunteering. “Thanks. That means more than I can say.”
They shook, then Lewis headed back to his garden while Matt went around to the other gardeners to try his luck with them.
Not a single one volunteered.
* * * * *
Over the next several hours they went to the other places people would be working and then from house to house, trying to get in touch with as many townspeople as they could. After they finished they tracked down Ben to see what kind of success he'd had among the former refugees.
Truth be told, the results weren't all that surprising, although they were incredibly disappointing. A large portion of the townspeople already volunteered as defenders, or had in the past, but of them less than a fifth wanted to abandon everything and go fight in a hopeless war. Among the townspeople at large only a handful more volunteered.
He wasn't sure he could blame them. Williams wasn't wrong to warn them about just how bad the situation was, and how much everyone needed to help if they were going to have any hope of survival. But at the same time it wasn't exactly the sort of thing that would encourage everyone to go off waving their guns and stampeding for the front lines.
He'd gathered twenty-three people. Sure, even if everyone in town volunteered that wouldn't do much to swing the odds in their favor against the enemy, but under two dozen felt like a drop in the ocean.
He supposed that even as big as the threat was, it was still remote enough that people could try to ignore it. Once it got more immediate, once things started looking really bad, more people might be jolted into action and join the fight then. Hopefully before it was too late.
Maybe they should've let in the younger men who volunteered, like Wes. Near the end Matt had made one exception there, for Pete Childress. The young man had practically threatened to hike up into the mountains looking for the military so he could join up if he wasn't let in. Pete had handled himself well against the raiders so Matt agreed to take him, although he wasn't sure how he felt about it.
When Matt got back to the shelter he found that Sam had packed up everything he'd need and arranged it on their bed. He would've been grateful for the gesture, and he was, but when he arrived his wife was sitting there next to the backpack with his coat in her hands, tears streaming down her cheeks.
When she saw him she immediately buried her face in the rough cloth, scrubbing her eyes with it. Then she raised her head and did her best to smile and pretend she was fine. “Oh hey. How did it go?”
Matt
slumped down onto the cot next to her and pulled her into his arms, resting his chin on her head. “It could've gone better.” She didn't respond, which was usually an invitation for him to go on, so he briefly told her about visiting everyone in town and the results they'd managed.
When he finished they sat in silence for a while. Matt was just about to get up and start checking through the things Sam had packed to make sure she hadn't overlooked anything when she abruptly spoke up. “Maybe Tam and Lewis and Jane and the others have the right idea.”
He stiffened and pulled away slightly, looking down at her. “What?”
She stared back, eyes flashing. “Haven't you done enough, Matt?” she demanded. “After everything you've done for the town, can't you just say no for once?”
Matt gave his wife a wounded look. “You too?”
“Don't act like I'm being unreasonable!” At some point she'd started crying again, although she didn't seem to notice. “You nearly got blown up fighting the raiders. Chauncey lost his leg. Almost a hundred people died and about that many were wounded.”
Sam hesitated, her anger fading to anguish. “And that was a fight we couldn't avoid, against a bunch of scruffy criminals attacking the town. Now you want to go pick a fight with professional soldiers? Seriously, Matt, haven't you done enough?”
Talking to Tam he'd felt disappointed, and with Lewis he'd been angry. With Sam he felt guilty. Sharp, deep down to his bones guilt. But that didn't change anything. “I'll have done enough when the town is safe,” he said as gently as he could. “Somebody has to fight the Gold Bloc forces. If we all just worry about ourselves they'll steamroll the military and take the entire country unopposed. We'll all end up dead, or on the run and hiding for who knows how long.”
His wife looked away miserably. “Why can't it be someone else? We've done what we had to for the town. But, well, it just doesn't seem like the town has done much for us in return. I work at the clinic with April and Terry day in and day out and at best we get the same bowl of watery soup as everyone else. You spend your time protecting the town when you could be out finding food or tending our garden and they don't feed you any better.”