Without You I Have Nothing

by J A Scooter

  “I had no family and I needed no money, and my god laughed at me as everything I touched turned to gold. I was a Matt Selah version of King Midas and those millions climbed until today, I am a billionaire many times over.

  “Back then, at the same time as I was wealthy, I remained an assassin - a loner. I was a killer, and one known very well to those who met me on my arrival in Australia at Mascot - the Australian Secret Service - ASIO. Occasionally they called me in to supply information about Chinese or Indian Criminals.

  “Very quickly my degree in psychology reminded me I had to find friends and couldn’t exist as a loner. I joined a tennis club where I met Ted and Bob. Later I joined the dramatic society to put my Asian skills to work. Yet all the time I kept my wealth and background a secret. I would not reveal the true ‘Little One’ to anyone.

  “I even manufactured a plausible excuse for owning my penthouse at Circular Quay so no one would question my financial worth.”

  Smiling, Peter took Jennifer’s hand.

  “Then you came along and, well,” he paused, “the rest you know.

  “I met you and for the first time a woman stole my heart. I realized that to gain your love I would need to expose my soul. The prospect was terrifying.

  “We both struggled with our demons. You battled with the memory of that night of the school dance and the depression that followed while I contended with the horrors of my childhood. Thank God, we were able to overcome our fears to allow our hearts to become one.

  “Suddenly I’ve found peace, love and happiness with your family, and no-one will ever take that away from me.”

  His words were so emphatic that Andrew couldn’t help thinking that anyone who tried would be risking everything.

  Exhausted, Peter leaned forward and placed his hands in Jennifer’s lap. Slowly he lifted his eyes to look first at Eric then Elizabeth.

  “Now I must ask you once more. I need a truthful answer. Am I still welcome to become your son-in-law as Jennifer’s husband? Eric, I sense you, in particular, have been questioning my history, wondering if this stranger is the right man for your only daughter.”

  Peter continued explaining his past and revealed even more about himself. At times, he paused, wondering if he was overdoing his personal sell to win over Jennifer’s parents. Yet he continued producing paper after paper of clippings from the Straits Times, University Degrees and passports to back up his history. He didn’t want to leave anything to chance and risk the family finding out something of his past a few years on.

  Eric and Elizabeth were astounded at the truthfulness and openness of Peter to reveal such a painful and brutal past.

  Peter paused to draw breath and Eric rising from his chair motioned Elizabeth that he wanted to see her privately in the kitchen.

  Peter, Jennifer and Andrew felt an air of tension but in his usual fashion, Andrew tried to make light of the situation.

  Eric and Elizabeth seemed to be gone for what felt like an eternity. Finally, they walked back into the room hand in hand both bearing a grin that instantly eased the tension. Their earlier disquiet about Peter’s background had disappeared. There was no hesitation as Elizabeth darted across the space between them and hugged Peter to her as Eric lifted him to his feet.

  “Lad, you’re part of the family already and have been in our hearts since Jennifer first prattled on nonstop about ‘her Peter’. That was many months ago. Yes, to be truthful Elizabeth and I have been worried that Jennifer has been involved with a man whose mysterious background confused us.

  “Then there was the worry over the three criminals. Yet Andrew was so certain you could cure the problem and the heartache. He rang us immediately you drove off in that truck reporting that there was no problem as you would fix their wagon.

  “Stop worrying - you’re ours and we’re yours. Thank you for unburdening your soul - we know it’s been harrowing, but now it’s ceased to be a burden and we’re all here to share your worries and troubles.”

  Stunned by the family’s reaction and the speed with which they officially made him part of the family, Peter felt a heavy weight slide from his shoulders.

  Even Andrew’s dry comment seemed so friendly as well. “Good on you Jennifer. I thought you must have something under that head of hair. I can’t believe Sis has captured this wild man - a billionaire to boot. What about a loan?”

  He threw his head back and roared at the shocked look on Peter’s face.

  “Now you’re family you’re on the tractor tomorrow. No shirking,” he concluded.

  Everyone’s attention was on the engagement and the ring and Peter could actually feel the warmth of feeling while he packed up all the bits and pieces that made up his personal memorabilia. He took one last look as his parent’s pictures as he packed them away carefully, and he was certain they were both smiling broadly.

  As Elizabeth handed Peter a coffee she quietly whispered to him, “Guide me, Oh Thou Great Jehovah! Well I’m so grateful that our God led you to us.”

  As Peter and Andrew walked back to their rooms, Peter’s comment, ‘What a day’, gained a quick retort from Andrew.

  “You’re not free yet,” was his laughing comment. “I think there’s worse to come. Mum and Jennifer have some business to discuss with you. You thought that the hardest part was asking Jennifer to marry you and plan a fancy engagement. I have news for you my boy.”

  Beginning to laugh uproariously Andrew continued. “I’ll saddle the fastest horse first thing in the morning - there’s still time to escape.”

  Still chortling loudly, he wandered off down the corridor leaving Peter mystified.

  For the next two weeks, Peter relieved Eric on the tractor, and when lunch arrived with Jennifer each day, he just didn’t get any time alone with her. Mealtimes at the house were the same and, at night, he was so tired he just wanted to sleep.

  Then one night around the dining table, they were drinking a final cup of tea when the fateful question came from Elizabeth.

  “We’re delighted you’re shortly to become a member of the family, but when?”

  Peter couldn’t answer and his thoughts were in turmoil. ‘No wonder Andrew thought worse was yet to come. He didn’t know when. Now? That wasn’t practical. Jennifer and he hadn’t been alone together long enough to discuss such things. God, he was only just becoming accustomed to the idea of being engaged.’

  As these thoughts raced through Peter’s head, Elizabeth waited for his answer.

  “Well, Jennifer would make a beautiful Easter bride.” Elizabeth’s patience was at an end.

  Peter could only stare, not daring to verbalize his thoughts. 'Are you mad? Easter is months away. You have taken leave of your senses. Why do I have to wait so long?’

  Andrew was no help. “I told you there was worse to come,” he said with a smug tone in his voice. “Should I saddle the horse now?” He laughed.

  “Don’t look so surprised and downcast, lad.” Eric took Peter’s tea and replaced it with a whisky and soda. “This happens to all of us. Just agree and let the women get busy with the arrangements. It’s easier to say yes, believe me.”

  Ignoring her men folk’s comments, Elizabeth still awaited Peter’s response.

  “I suppose I’ve waited all my life for Jennifer so I can wait a few weeks longer,” he replied with considerable reluctance. “But I must warn you that when it comes to wedding plans, I do have some commitments. My regiment has always insisted that my old platoon, the men I saved in the jungle, give me a military wedding.

  “I will be in uniform and they will form a guard of honor. Other than the uniforms and the guard of honor, it will be a normal wedding. I hope this won’t upset any arrangements you had in mind.”

  Jennifer left her mother’s side and hugged him.

  “Underneath all that military dress will be my husband, and that’s all that matters!”

  To reinforce her words she hugged him tightly and stayed close by his side, clinging to his arm. Together, th
ey waited for Elizabeth to continue.

  “As Christmas is next week, do you mind, Peter if we forgo an Engagement Party, particularly as all your friends are in Sydney?” Elizabeth didn’t await his reply. “We will be having our usual Christmas Dinner and our whole family will be here for the double celebration. I’m sure you’ll enjoy the festivities.”

  “Elizabeth, I’ve never had a Christmas Dinner. And I’ve never experienced an Engagement Party although I suppose I’ve read of one in the Sunday Paper - so I’m entirely in your hands.”

  He seemed relieved to be able to escape as he led Jennifer out onto the front drive under the starry skies. At last, they were alone together with only the vast universe for company, and he could hold her tight and kiss her. Peter lowered his gaze to her upturned face as she waited for his kiss.

  Andrew’s voice came out of the dark.

  “Hey, we’ll have none of that on this property! Get to bed now,” he called out, as his feet crunched over the gravel on his way to the stables. “Not you, Jennifer. Leave him alone, and don’t you dare go to his bed or I’ll tell Mum.” Andrew couldn’t resist teasing them.

  Peter worried about where they would live. He worried about the wedding and he worried about how he would ever explain to Jennifer what his regiment, and his two fathers required of him.

  He did ask Andrew if he any inkling of where Jennifer would like to live but Andrew could only come up with a non-committal reply. Any time he tried to raise the subject with Jennifer she seemed to be busy with other things at the time. It seemed he had no way of asking, as she was strangely silent on the matter.

  Then one night when they were sitting on the back verandah studying the stars and listening to the faint sounds of the night Jennifer leant against him and admitted she would love to live somewhere close to her parents.

  “You don’t know but the place to the east and this property once formed one great estate. It’s now for sale and if we can afford it – well, I would love to live there. That is provided you also would like to live there.”

  The hug Peter gave her confirmed how he would live anywhere with her. “When do we go and have a look?” Peter sounded enthusiastic.

  Jennifer pretended she did not hear the question and with each immersed in their thoughts they returned to their study of the stars.

  Early the next morning Andrew woke him with the cheery call. “Get your leathers on! We’re going sightseeing.” Andrew’s orders were decisive.

  The whole family appeared at breakfast in their leathers ready for what Andrew so euphemistically called sightseeing.

  To Peter it seemed as though this sightseeing would be more an expedition as the panniers on the bikes were loaded with bottles of ice cold water and refreshments.

  It was fun as they raced across the creeks, not worrying about getting wet. Elizabeth did her best to spray Eric, and Peter, dragging up the rear, marveled at how carefree everyone seemed.

  Up the distant hill, to the far end of the property they rode through the pine plantation and into the state forest. Everyone enjoyed developing their skills negotiating the sand and the rocks, but the riders were most careful, knowing they wouldn’t be able to tolerate the laughter of the others if they took a tumble.

  Up and up they climbed following narrow animal trails until Andrew, the leader called a halt. “Time for a drink and something to eat. This is thirsty work and I’m hungry.”

  “You’re always hungry,” was Elizabeth’s quick retort.

  “I’m just a growing boy!” Andrew was determined to have the last word.

  They dismounted and parked their bikes. Elizabeth and Jennifer spread the food and drinks on a rug.

  They talked ceaselessly between sips and bites of the food, laughing and joking about the ride. As soon as everyone had finished, the remaining food and water was repacked. Nothing was left to litter the bush.

  On foot, Eric took the leadership from Andrew and began to lead the way through the trees. Peter could only surmise they had planned something together. Mystified, he held Jennifer’s hand and followed.

  Cresting a rise, the little party found itself on a cliff edge. Below them and stretching into the distance were two valleys separated by a long line of low hills. Through each valley flowed a creek and the scene formed a picture book tableau.

  Pointing towards one of the creeks with his arm around Jennifer, Peter whispered, “I can see our magic place where you said you’d marry me. That’s a magic place for me and it was a magic day I’ll always remember.”

  With shining eyes, Jennifer turned and hugged him. “It was special for me too,” she said, looking up into his face.

  Eric pointed out their home and drew Peter’s attention to the valley on their right. There stood an old Australian homestead - another stone mansion - almost a twin to the Blake’s house yet considerably larger. Even at this distance, Peter could see that the paddocks were bare of livestock and the property was in a sad state of neglect,

  “That’s Rocky Springs,” and Eric explained that both properties had been part of one great estate owned by his great, great grandfather and his great, great grandfather’s unmarried brother. They had argued and split the property.

  The feud between the brothers was so bad that there had been no reconciliation. The family line that owned the second property had ended about 30 years previously, leaving no heirs. Now, at last, the local stock and station agents had listed this property for sale.

  Jennifer snuggled against Peter and put her arm around his waist as she interrupted her father’s explanation. Cautiously, she opened her heart. “You asked me where I’d like to live. That’s where I’d like to live,” and she pointed down to the twin of her own family home.

  Quickly she re-gathered her thoughts. “Down there is the place where I’d love to bring up our children, giving them a childhood such as I had.”

  Slipping his arm around her waist Peter stared down at the homestead and he believed he could hear the tinkle of merry laughter as his children played around their home. He could almost smell food cooking and hear the yells of boys and girls as they climbed the trees around the house. Squeezing Jennifer, he returned to the present.

  Anxious to see what could be his future home with Jennifer, Peter took control.

  “Well let’s go, why are we wasting time talking? Elizabeth, take the lead and see if you can lose Andrew.”

  There was a rush back to the bikes and Andrew didn’t wait for anyone but made his bike fly, retracing their tracks. Not a foot behind him was Jennifer, who was determined to pass her brother.

  At a long disused slip rail gate in a pitiful state of disrepair, they waited for the others to catch up.

  “You’re the apprentice, Peter,” Andrew laughed . “So you open and close gates.” Andrew made certain he put Peter in his place.

  Laughing to himself, Peter thought of the return trip, possibly through creeks. He’d pay Andrew back in full.

  The paddocks and the fences showed that the property was in a bad way. There was an absence of livestock and the windmills looked rusted and unused. The few dams he saw were overgrown with weeds and almost dry.

  The overall picture was depressing.

  The triple storied homestead seemed a twin for Jennifer’s home yet it was so much bigger and its condition showed that it had stood empty and unloved for years.

  Peter mused that perhaps it was built by the same architect who had designed those thick stone walls and wide verandahs at Deep Springs. Even the filigree cast iron lacework of the verandah rails seemed as though they had been cast at the same foundry.

  No matter, Peter mused, the steps leading from the broad curved driveway to the tiled verandah gave the building a regal presence, welcoming them. Not surprised that Eric had a key to the house, he waited for Jennifer to stand beside him. Holding her hand, he followed the others up the flight of wide marble steps.

  The house, although dusty and unkempt, had an aristocratic dignity – with an eleganc
e that matched Jennifer’s home. Peter’s mind raced into the future when the wide corridors and courtly rooms would be alive with the laughter of his children and the love of his family.

  In some rooms, possums had made their homes and the floors were thick with dust. The leadlight windows in some rooms were so badly weathered they would need replacing.

  From the archway of the huge entry foyer, a wide curved marble staircase climbed to the second floor. As they began the slow climb, Peter silently thanked the teaching brothers at his College for the painful lessons in architecture and the care they took with him hammering an appreciation of art and music into his thick head.

  This was an Imperial staircase with divided flights. The first flight rose to a half-landing and he could see where it divided into two symmetrical flights both rising with an equal number of steps and turns to the third floor. When they reached the top of the staircase Peter was astounded to find a ballroom complete with stage.

  “This isn’t a farm house it’s a luxury hotel.” The imposing size of the ballroom, with its ornate high ceiling and floor to ceiling French Doors opening onto the wide balcony awed Peter. The polished wooden floor appeared ready for a ball that same evening.

  On the second floor the bedrooms, each with its own ensuite, were enormous. Ground floor rooms were also enormous as was the pantry and kitchen and at the rear of the building another curved staircase with twin silky oak banisters led upwards to the second floor. The corridors were so large that Andrew couldn’t resist teasing Jennifer once more.

  “You could drive a horse and cart up and down these corridors. Jennifer, you will have housewife’s knees and hands just keeping this place up to scratch.”

  Peter grinned. “Well, I’ll always know where to find her!” he remarked, bringing gales of laughter from Eric and Andrew but silencing glares from the women.

  “So your dream has been to raise your children here and work this property, eh?” Peter stared at Jennifer as if demanding answers. He added, “Would it become part of Blake and O’Brien Pastoral Company or remain Blake Pastoral Company?”