* See Chapter 2, “A Saab Story,”. Every one of the girls he writes about has friended him.
* Biological anthropologist Helen Fisher tells us that the life span of human love plays itself out every four years, just enough time to wean a child. That might have been true in our hunting and gathering days, but these days it takes more like eighteen years to raise a kid, if you’re lucky. Maybe we’re fighting our biology, but four years isn’t very much time to create a really rich history together.
* I have heard that this is not that uncommon; we have friends who call each other Lou. Neither of their names, Peter or Yvonne, is any derivation of Lou, Louis, Louise, or Luanne, at least to my knowledge.
Acknowledgments
Many thanks to the numerous people who helped us write this book and somehow still manage to stay married. To our fearless advocate, Laura Dail and the Laura Dail Literary Agency; indefatigable manager, Andy Cohen; talented and patient editor Suzanne O’Neill; her wonderful assistant, Emily Timberlake; and, of course, the fabulous Tina Constable. Thanks also to the great team at Crown: Jenny Frost, Jill Flaxman, Annsley Rosner, Patty Berg, Laura Duffy, Elizabeth Rendfleish, Patty Shaw, Amy Boorstein, and Jill Browning.
Friends, Family and Supporters: our loving parents Shirley and Harry Gurwitch, Ilene and Bob Kahn, and Bob and Ilene’s super-significant others, Pati Demont and John Tartaglia. Jeff’s devoted sister, Marcy Kahn. Annie Hamburger and Big Heart Productions; Kimberly Rubin; Elyse Roth; David Borgenicht; Chris Burney and Second Stage Theater; The Nation magazine; Paul Glickman, news director of KPCC. Heartfelt thanks to Steve Hibbert, Sue Wolfe, and Eric Simonson, the directors of our stage show in Los Angeles. Annie Howell and the Planet Green Network. All the sports-fanatic families of the Toluca Titans baseball team as well as the parents and outstanding teachers of St. James Episcopal School, for having a great sense of humor.
Our Early Readers: Robin Shlien, Neena Beber, Gia Palladino Wise, Tonya Pinkins, Yvonne and Peter Johansen, Chris Romeo, Erika Schickel, Tom Gorham, Sybil Sage, Holter Graham, Debra Goldstein, Alicia Diaz Granados, Tamara Krinsky, Annabelle’s always insightful and steadfast sister Lisa Gurwitch, and Jeff’s alltime best friend, Peter Berson.
Our Live Performances: Lauren Correo; Gary Mann and Paul Stein and the Comedy Central Workspace; Romie Angelich of “Published, Produced, or On Their Way;” Lita Weisman at Borders; Jaclyn Lafer and Maggie Rowe of Sit ‘n’ Spin; Wendy Hammers and Tasty Words; Matt Price of 4 Stories and a Cover; Jane Edith Wilson and Gary Lucy at Lit Up; Daniel Gallant and Nuyorican Poetry Café.
We must mention Rachael Friedan, who helped collate the manuscript and then offered this insight: “Maybe you took my grandmother Betty too seriously, Annabelle.”
We owe a special debt of gratitude to the Pull-thru Network, Bonnie McElroy, Kathy Tague, Susan Elsberry, Dr. Elaine Kamil, Dr. Alan Klein and Dr. Danielpour, Dr. Harry Cynamon, Beth Harrison of the Bowel Management Clinic at Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles, and Dr. Alberto Peña, who innovated the pull-through surgery.
Also our great appreciations to Ezra’s sitters: Kathryn Aagesen, Jolie Franciscus, and Brady Wright.
Jeff would like to thank the Palms Thai Restaurant in Hollywood for letting him edit the book there long after lunch was eaten, and Annabelle would like to thank the Starbucks coffee company, whose grande soy lattes have just about replaced her blood stream.
And lastly, we are forever grateful to our incredible, inspiring, and unimaginably gifted son, Ezra Kahn, for sharing his story with us.
Tragically, our beloved doctor and friend Columbus McAlpin passed away on September 3, 2004. He left a wife and children of his own, and the loss to the community was immense. All the kids whose lives he saved and whose cases he tirelessly followed were known as Columbus’s kids around the hospital, and Ezra will always be part of his legacy. We were so lucky that Big Mac was on call on February 24, 1998.
about the authors
Annabelle Gurwitch is an actress and writer. She first gained a comedic following during her years of cohosting Dinner and a Movie on TBS. Annabelle turned her experience of being canned by Woody Allen into Fired!, the off-Broadway play, touring show, book, and documentary film. Her film premiered on TV as a Showtime comedy special and has been screened everywhere from the Southwest Film Festival to the Department of Labor on Capitol Hill. She’s been a regular commentator on Day to Day and All Things Considered on NPR and a humor columnist for The Nation magazine.
She has hosted television shows on ABC, VHI, Style, and HBO. Her acting credits include the TV shows Medium, Boston Legal, and Seinfeld, and the films Shaggy Dog, Melvin Goes to Dinner, and Daddy Day Care. Her work off-Broadway garnered her a place in the New York Times Top Ten Performances in Theatre of the Year 2002. Her essays have appeared in the Los Angeles Times, Child, and Glamour, www.freshyarn.com, and in two anthologies: Note to Self and Rejected! She currently hosts the series Wa$ted! on Planet Green. This is her second book and second marriage.
Jeff Kahn is a writer/performer who began his career on MTV’s Remote Control and The Ben Stiller Show. A few years later, he received an Emmy Award for his writing on Fox’s The Ben Stiller Show. It was a moment so unexpected and shocking that he literally cried. Jeff has written on several other shows, including Later with Greg Kinnear, Austin Stories, and Dilbert. He also has written and produced numerous television pilots, in particular a spin-off of All American Girl starring Margaret Cho. He can be seen on HBO reruns of Curb Your Enthusiasm, Entourage, and The Larry Sanders Show, and in the films Tropic Thunder, 40-Year-Old Virgin, and The Cable Guy. Online, Jeff is featured on the show The Writer’s Room. His essays can be read online at www.FreshYarn.com and in his wife’s terrific and very funny book Fired! This is Jeff’s very first book and first marriage.
Copyright © 2010 by Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn
All rights reserved.
Published in the United States by Crown Publishers,
an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group,
a division of Random House, Inc., New York.
www.crownpublishing.com
Crown is a trademark and the Crown colophon is a registered trademark of Random House, Inc.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Gurwitch, Annabelle.
You say tomato, I say shut up : a love story / Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn.—1st ed.
p. cm.
1. Marriage—United States—Case studies. 2. Man-woman relationships—United States—Case studies. 3. Gurwitch, Annabelle—Marriage. 4. Kahn, Jeff—Marriage. 5. Married people—United States—Biography. 6. Jews—United States—Biography. 7. Parenting—United States—Case studies. I. Kahn, Jeff. II. Title.
HQ536.G86 2010
306.810973—dc22
2009029355
eISBN: 978-0-307-46379-1
v3.0
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