All I needed now was the others, primarily Beatrix, to help me. She pulled herself to her feet and was trying to fix her disheveled appearance, scooping her hair back into a neater bun and retying her apron a bit tighter. She was breathing quickly, and I could see a fierce determination slowly come to life in her weary eyes.
“There is one way,” Beatrix voiced, more to the cluttered wall than to me. “But the outcome is not certain. It may end up harming you more than the Master.”
I could have screamed for joy! I rocked on the balls of my feet, hardly daring to believe what was unfolding.
“Anything!” I gasped.
She raised an eyebrow.
“Remember, Penny, this is not something to be taken lightly. In accepting what I am about to give, you are jeopardizing not only your life, but all your friends lives too.”
“Absolutely,” I repeated with complete decisiveness.
I didn’t hesitate nor pause to think of the consequences my brash choice might have on myself and my friends, only that I might finally be able to score a point in a game I had long believed to be lost. If I hesitated now, I’d regret it for the rest of my life; better to die knowing I tried, than live knowing I didn’t.
Beatrix exhaled with deliberate heaviness, expelling all fears.
“Whatever happens next is meant to be,” she muttered to herself. “It is out of my hands now.”
She was still mumbling to herself as she turned and rummaged through a drawer, which at first glance contained nothing more than a packet of matches and many stacks of fresh paper. She found something and slammed the drawer shut, pausing for a few moments to stare at whatever she’d fished out. I craned forwards to see what exactly it was.
“Take and protect it,” Beatrix instructed me. She took my hands in hers, and I felt a dull weight as she placed something in my palms.
I opened them up, and my eyes widened in surprise. She has given me a key, of all things, a massive black iron one with queerly shaped teeth jutting out at all angles along its heavy, rough stem. It was neither delicate nor intricate as one might have expected; in fact, it was lumpy, dull, and the length of my hand.
“What does it open?” I managed to utter. I wasn’t sure what I had expected, maybe an enchanted sword, or a mixture that would give me powers, but an unimpressive key was definitely quite far down my list.
“The upstairs door,” Beatrix answered with a sideways smile.
“There’s only one locked door and that’s to the upper floor? What’s inside it? Why do you have the key? Why are you giving it to me?” I ranted, trying to get a hold of the situation. I felt as though something was missing.
“So many questions!” Beatrix shook her head, the smile still on her lips. “There is only one locked door and I’m in possession of the key because it is part of my duty as the keeper of this manor to account for it, and I’m giving it to you because you wanted a way to get across the Boundary and I’m done with seeing children held here against their will. As for what it unlocks and why, that is a blank you will have to fill in for yourself. If you are certain that you are prepared for what it will unleash.”
I turned the thing over and over in my hand, thinking about her warning. I was at the point where I was willing to do absolutely anything to bring down the controlling world in which I had squandered my childhood, but the only thing keeping me from running straight upstairs was the effect it might have on my friends. They were not as obsessed with freedom as I was, and possibly were not prepared to pay as high a price.
If I told them the truth right away, then they would demand to know why Beatrix had given it to me and I felt it was not my secret to tell. Tressa would try to stop me, and knowing her, would succeed. I couldn’t put them in danger though, so I was going to have to make a choice on their behalf. I needed to plan.
I glanced up at Beatrix. She was fiddling with some ornaments on her mantelpiece, moving a candleholder back and forth as if to get it precisely in the center.
I glanced down at the ugly key.
I thanked her in a hushed voice, and turned to leave.
I wasn’t sure if she heard me or not, but as I stood in the servants corridor outside puzzling over where to put the key, I noticed the skirts of my gown had magically sprouted deep pockets that were perfectly sized to hide a specific iron key.
I felt like a criminal as I scurried back upstairs to meet with my friends again. The pockets were buried amongst the folds of my dress in such a way that no awkward bulges were visible to onlookers, but the key’s heavy presence next to my legs was a constant reminder of what I was hiding, and what I was about to do.
The identity of Beatrix’s son also added guilt to my conscience, and I had to avert my attention elsewhere when Tressa and Evelyn began to gush about her romantic past. Despite my unusual skittishness, they did not question me. I once caught Lucas throwing me a curious sideways glance, but apart from that all was as normal.
During lessons, Beatrix acted with an impressively nonchalant attitude, which gave nothing of her conversation with me away, acting towards me as if nothing had happened.
But no one could miss my extreme nervousness when the time for dinner arrived.
“Dear goodness, Penny, you seem rather agitated. Is anything the matter?” Tressa asked me concernedly. We were in our chamber changing into our uncomfortable dinner gowns (like my day dress, mine also now had pockets, for which I credited Beatrix) and prepping our hair into styled plaits.
“Nothing at all!” I lied in a falsely cheery tone. “I’m just contemplating what Beatrix told us today, and how much better this will make everything now she’s back on our side.”
Evelyn held up two similar necklaces in front of her mirror indecisively, commenting, “Actually, it wasn’t as much of a revelation as I had hoped for. She only confirmed what was to be expected and made amends, but apart for that, nothing has changed. Though it is awfully romantic, isn’t it, about losing her son and eventually her lover for the sake of society?”
“Romantic? It’s diabolical! What kind of a world would separate a family because they weren’t married?” Tressa scoffed in disgust as she finished tying her own corset and stepped elegantly into the petticoats of her gown. “I’m not so sure I would want such restrictions.”
Normally, I would have made some irritated comment about how restricted our life was now and how it couldn’t get any worse, but instead I just kept out of their conversation and stared at my hands. They were coated in a fine black dust from the textured surface of the key. Hastily, checking over my shoulder with an expression of pure guilt etched on my brow, I scurried to a filled basin and tried to scrub them clean as discretely as possible.
“Do you need a hand tying your corset, Penny?” Tressa called.
My face burned, but I mentally reminded myself that I had done nothing wrong. Yet.
“Er, no thanks,” I refused brightly, scrubbing so hard that my hands began to sting.
The water turned a dirty grey and I winced, praying that no one would notice until it was switched over.
“Hurry up, then! We’ll be late!”
After scrambling into a new dress and quickly clipping in some dainty golden hoop earrings, I went with the girls down into the foyer. The key banged against my leg as I moved, stoutly refusing to let me forget its presence.
Dinner was, I supposed, one of the most relaxed and less tensional sessions we had had for quite some time, with everyone chatting merrily with Beatrix as though the episode before had never happened. It was as though a heaviness had been lifted from all our shoulders; only mine had been replaced by an even darker one.
I ate because I wanted to keep face, though I wasn’t at all hungry. The normally succulent pork chops tasted dry and flavorless, scratching my throat uncomfortably on the way down, and the routine toffee pudding was too sickly with an odd texture.
Naturally, it was only my paranoid mind playing tricks on me as I debated, over and over again, whether I s
hould use the key or not.
The Master was watching me. The entire mealtime, I felt his piercing eyes turned in my direction, though I never once caught him staring when I sneaked a peak.
When the ordeal was over, I was the first to jump out of my chair to leave.
Then I felt the hair on the back of my neck prickle, and whirled around in shock. He was right behind me, dashing in His tailored suit but terrifying in His menacing aura. Though I tried to bow my head and appear humble, I surprised myself by wondering in what ways He looked like Beatrix and concluding in no ways at all.
For a while, we stood facing each other as if sizing the other up, then He spoke.
“Watch yourself, Penny.”
And then, He was gone.
9
“It’s sunny! Finally!” Tressa sang as she threw open the curtains one morning. I would have thought ‘moderately not-miserable’ would have been a better description, but who was I to be the estate pessimist?
“Hurray!” I cheered bleakly. “It was starting to get my spirits down.”
It had been nearly three days since Beatrix had handed over the key, and still I had done absolutely nothing with it more than peer curiously up at the north wing, which contained the door to the mysterious, forbidden upper floor. Admittedly, I had been rather shaken by the ominous warning from Him as I had no doubt He knew something was going on. I had no intention of being punished again anytime soon, yet if He so much as suspected that I had deliberately disobeyed a rule, let alone knowing about his mother…
“I can tell,” Evelyn observed from her vanity dresser, applying powder to her naturally porcelain skin in attempt to cover her nose, which still shone a sore red, “you haven’t been yourself lately. Perhaps you are coming down with a cold—”
“Enough!” I shuddered. I hated the mere thought of a cold! “I’ve just been a bit prone to daydreams lately, since with so little do to I haven’t got anything more interesting to occupy my mind.”
“How about we just be glad for the weather, hmm?” Tressa suggested, sweetly stabbing me a ‘stop-being-so-darn-miserable’ glance. “Let’s get changed for breakfast and go ask the boys what they want to do with all this glorious sunshine!”
I changed out of my nightgown, clambered into a brand new day dress, combed through my hair, buckled my shoes neatly over my stockings, and sneakily removed the key from its temporary hiding place under the bed into my pocket.
To be perfectly honest, I was considering returning the ghastly object to Beatrix and ending my whole dilemma for good, as neither a decent opportunity nor stroke of courage had presented itself to me.
I decided, as I doused my face with cold water, that either I would take initiative to act today, or I would give up completely. Tomorrow at this time, one or the other will have happened. It’d better be the former.
Breakfast was buttered toast with fresh berry jam.
“Have any of you ever wondered where our food comes from?” Lucas mused through a mouthful of toast.
“Nope.” Avery shook his head a little too much, sending bits of chewed bread spraying at Evelyn, who squeaked in horror.
“I read last ni— I mean, a while ago, I read that our meat…well it comes from animals. Yet, we have no animals. It must come from somewhere, but where?”
“Don’t be ridiculous!” Avery scoffed. “Meat is magically produced…He makes it appear.”
“There are no wheat fields either, for our bread,” Lucas argued, stung by being so blatantly mocked. “Or orchards for our fruit, or factories for our furniture, or anything of the sort! Everything must come from outside, including our meat. I mean, where else would chicken come from, but from actual animals? I’ve never read anything about it being magically made.”
I was astounded. Lucas was beginning to question the outside world – that there must be a way in and out of the estate. I wasn’t alone in this. Now that he had confirmed my own thoughts, my remaining doubts lifted.
Avery shook his head, refusing to back down. “Look, Lucas, you can’t trust everything in those books. Some of them are stories you know, and anyway, no one leaves the state. No one can! Nothing comes in or out.”
“So you’re trying to tell me that no food is real, it’s all magical. It’s not grown by someone or the animals reared and killed for meat!” Lucas snapped in irritation. “Food can be transported magically from the kitchen, but how does it get into the kitchen? It’s always there, and increases and decreases weekly. If it were magical, why just make it appear at the table on the spot? And why would the textbooks lie? So stop ignoring the fact—”
“Where did you get such a reference book anyway?” Avery interrupted, cocking an eyebrow. “I’ve never seen—”
“Does every morning have to start with bickering?” Tressa said, forcefully pushing her voice over the top of Avery’s drawling arguments before it all got out of hand. “How about we make a plan for the day instead? It’s so lovely and warm now. Cricket maybe? Or perhaps croquet?”
It sounded ideal, and I was about to consider the plan when another idea occurred to me. Finally, I might have the timing I needed.
“Or hide and seek?” I suggested slowly, playing absently with the antique butter knife between my jammy fingers.
Fred nodded consentingly as he helped himself to a fifth slice, but the other four wore identical expressions of reluctance. We weren’t children anymore, and they weren’t enthusiastic about such games now, but I was hoping to make it into something a bit bigger than hide-and-seek.
“We can hide in the gardens now, instead of just the manor,” I prompted. “Come on; stop growing up for a moment!”
“Penny, it’s just that…well…” Tressa looked to the others for support. “It’s become slightly boring with you winning every single time, and although it is wonderful you have talent, the rest of us are beginning to question the point. It’s getting rather tiresome.”
I kept my eyes on the scarred tabletop and crisp purple-splattered napkin on my lap as I volunteered, “I can seek.”
There was quiet, then a splat as a piece of drenched toast missed Avery’s gaping mouth and landed face-down on the tiled floor.
“A-are you sure?” Tressa asked, not sure she’d heard right. “You’ve never done it before, since you insisted you hated seeking more than anything.”
“I can try new things!” I insisted, my heart beginning to thud with possibility. “What harm is there in that? Only, don’t judge me if I take forever to find you all!”
For good theatrical measure, I threw in a silvery laugh and silently congratulated myself on arranging a scenario in which I would not only have the estate to myself, but could take as long as I needed and blame it on poor seeking skills.
“Well, in that case, I don’t see why not. We have no lessons scheduled today, so we should have plenty of time to play hide and seek as well as another game afterwards,” Tressa agreed, albeit unenthusiastically, surveying the others for objections. There were none, and with a slight edge of disappointment, she nodded at me.
The key was a magnet gluing me to my chair with the realization that this would be it. Today I would open the forbidden door upstairs and perhaps forever change my fate, and that of everyone else living in the manor too. If we were ever to escape our imprisonment, I had to. Someone had to. But by not involving them directly, I risked only myself.
Beatrix must have given the key to me for a reason, when she could have given it to another of my friends. But perhaps she thought they were too weak to act. She must have wanted me to act. She needed to escape too. The Master must be keeping us imprisoned on the estate for a reason but I wasn’t sure I wanted to find out what that was. So perhaps I should leave well alone. Perhaps this was the best life had to offer. Perhaps I had this all wrong.
My dream suddenly popped into my head like a vision. Elisabeth desperately holding onto her baby. No, I convinced myself, fighting the doubts that crept in. I had made my decision, and no amount of ‘
perhaps’ should change my mind.
“Remember, give us a good five minutes before you come looking,” Tressa instructed, clearly regretting her decision to play. “But then, we all know the rules by now.”
Don’t question what you are told. Don’t attempt to cross the Boundary. Don’t open the upstairs door. Sure, I knew the rules. Not the ones for hide-and-seek, but the rules set down by the Master. I was preparing to break all of them: starting with the first, now the last.
We were standing in a huddle in the foyer, our mood twisted between light-heartedness and reluctance. Most of them had gotten into the spirit, eyes flickering about to try and remember where the best hiding places were, so that the only person visibly unimpressed was Evelyn, who stood a little to the side of our group with her arms folded resolutely across her chest, completely lost now that I was not able to find a place for her.
“Do try to find us all before luncheon, won’t you?” Fred reminded me with a wink. “I hate missing a meal.”
Avery gave a loud cough, which sounded suspiciously like, “Pig!” followed by another, which clearly covered up a snigger.
Automatically my arm ached to throw a punch into his superior little face, but I squashed the urge. I needed to get going as soon as possible.
“You’re first, Avery,” I whispered instead, flashing him a smile of all teeth and no warmth.
He shot me a nasty side-glance, sticking out his tongue, but I knew that deep down he enjoyed the extra challenge.
“Right then, everyone! Countdown begins!” Tressa called.
As the other five scattered in all directions, I obediently sat in the armchair by the staircase and buried my face in its velvet plush surface.
I waited for the customary five minutes until all their footsteps had pounded away into the distance before slowly raising my head. I took in a long draught of steadying air, and then my hand involuntarily moved to caress the iron key in my pocket. Finally, it was time.
I did a quick scan of the area to make certain I was alone, and then began one of the longest walks I had ever been on.
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