by Nina Croft
He’d seen her terror and more, and he’d walked away. She hadn’t tried to stop him, but what she had seen had scared her. Was she strong enough to look again, and not give in to that darkness, when she knew it had the power to destroy her?
The door opened and fear warred with anticipation. Had he come back? But it was Phoebe who hovered in the open doorway—a very worried Phoebe—gnawing on her lower lip and shifting from one foot to the other. When she saw Bella watching her, she took a tentative step inside.
“Are you okay?”
Bella pushed herself up so she was sitting. She hugged her arms around herself, but some of the ice had thawed from her veins. She nodded, and Phoebe stepped closer, until she hovered above the bed.
“It didn’t go well, huh?”
She shook her head.
Phoebe pursed her lips and plonked herself down on the mattress beside her. “You have to see him. He’s going away.” Her tone was urgent. “You can’t let him go, Bella. You don’t understand…”
Her jaw clenched, as anger rose up inside her. She was fed up of not understanding. She didn’t need it pointed out to her again. “Then tell me.”
Phoebe lifted a shoulder in a helpless gesture. “I can’t.”
“You know, I keep hearing that. Everyone says they can’t tell me what’s going on, but no one will explain why.”
Phoebe reached out and rested her small hand on Bella’s arm. “Have faith, Bella.”
Tears stung at the back of her eyes. “I don’t know how.”
“Let go of your preconceived ideas of good and evil. Let your heart guide you.”
Bella swallowed and blinked back the tears. She remembered the brief glimpse she had gotten of Torr’s despair, before he had locked down his emotions. Nothing truly evil could ever feel regret of that magnitude. If nothing else, she had to tell Torr that she didn’t believe he was the monster he claimed to be.
She’d been shocked, not so much by what she’d seen in his mind, but more by what was missing—that huge gaping maw of nothingness at his center. His whole mind had given out a feeling of wrongness. Not evil as she’d originally thought. She’d never encountered anything like it before.
When she had looked into Bryce’s mind earlier, she had seen his pain, seen the darkness inside him, but she’d known instinctively that she could help him, that she could draw off the worst of his pain. She had looked inside Torr and known that he was beyond any help she could give.
She wanted to understand. Maybe if she saw inside Phoebe, she could identify the part of Torr which was missing. She looked up at Phoebe. “Will you let me see into your mind? Not your thoughts or anything. I can’t read those, but your feelings.” When Phoebe hesitated, she hurried on. “I saw something in Torr. Or rather, I didn’t see something. Something was missing. I have to know, to understand.”
“What do you need me to do?”
Bella knelt up on the bed besides her. She put one hand under Phoebe’s chin and lifted her face as she had with Torr. For a brief moment, fear rose up inside her. What would she see in Phoebe’s head? She pushed the fear down. “Look into my eyes.”
“Do you know how corny that sounds?” Phoebe sent her a feeble smile, which faded fast. She swallowed then lifted her face and stared into Bella’s.
She had beautiful eyes, chocolate brown flecked with gold. Bella pushed past and was inside Phoebe’s mind. She’d been expecting chaos and pain, but Phoebe’s mind was a deep pool of calm. She radiated a sense of peace that washed through Bella, reaching into the crevasses of her mind banishing the last of the icy cold.
“You’re happy,” she murmured. “So happy. You love him. More than anything. More than life.”
Phoebe nodded slowly, and Bella caught the flicker of fear that nagged at the edges of Phoebe’s consciousness. She searched a little deeper and found she could hone in on feelings, focus on them and they became clearer. A sense of wonder filled her as the paths inside Phoebe’s mind opened to her.
“You’re afraid of losing him. You’ve lost him before.”
Phoebe bit her lip, but didn’t look away, and Bella probed further, to the very center of her being. She’d never given religion much thought, but now she knew with a certainty, that she looked at Phoebe’s very soul.
She froze. Blinked. Broke the contact.
“What is it, Bella? What did you see?” Phoebe’s slightly panicked tone brought her back.
“I saw your soul.” As she spoke the words, the gaping hole in Torr’s mind flashed across her inner eye, and she knew what was missing. She knew what should fill that void, and horror crashed through her. “Oh, God. He has no soul.”
Phoebe stared at her for a second, her eyes wide, but she brought herself under control quickly. “You have to give Torr a chance. Let him explain.” Then she shook her head in obvious frustration. “He can’t explain—not yet—but you have to trust him. He’s a good man.”
Bella bit her lip. How had Torr come to this? What had happened to him? How did he manage to go on with that great emptiness inside? She remembered his despair. It came to her then, how he managed to continue. He had hope. And she knew that hope was tied somehow to her. And she had failed him.
She needed to see him, explain that it had been shock. She was ready to try again, though a shiver of fear ran through her at the thought. She jumped off the bed and headed for the door.
“Bella, what—?”
“I’m going to find him.”
She left the room and ran down the hallway. She couldn’t sense him anywhere, but when she came to the head of the stairs, she saw Cade standing below, by the closed front door, head lowered.
“Where’s Torr?” Bella asked.
Cade raised his head. He appeared shell-shocked, dazed. “You’re too late,” he said. “He’s gone.”
Chapter 16
Torr strode through the crowded streets, despair tearing at his mind.
He’d failed. It was over. Finished.
Closing his eyes, he saw again the horror on Bella’s face. She’d seen the evil in his mind, the void where his soul should be, and rejected him completely. She would never love him now.
How could she love a creature without a soul?
He’d thought his love would be enough. He’d been wrong.
Not enough good deeds existed in the whole of eternity, to redeem him for the evil he had done in the name of revenge.
He deserved this. But Bella did not. She was an innocent, and yet now she would die for him a second time. And this time, she would not be reborn. Her soul would be released from the cycle of death and rebirth, and she would be lost forever.
Raising his head to the night sky, he howled.
People walked past him, giving him a wide berth, and he snarled and stalked away, finding a dark alley between tall buildings and heading into the shadows. He hunkered down against the wall, his mind slowly coming around to what he needed to do. He would stop Razul, and no doubt, his soul would be destroyed in the process. But what use was his soul now he had lost Bella.
He went over the rules of the Covenant in his mind, trying to find some way out. It was over for him, but maybe there was some way he could save Bella. He would never have her, but perhaps he could return to her one of the lives he had taken.
He knelt in the dark alley and prayed. For a minute, he thought his prayers would not be answered, then he heard the flurry of wings, and Gabriel stood before him, glowing with an unearthly beauty.
Torr rose to his feet, and eyed the archangel warily. The old anger and rage built up inside him and he forced it down. Gabriel had been responsible for taking Soraya from him the first time, and Torr would never forgive or forget.
But his time for revenge was long past.
“I want to make a deal,” he said.
Gabriel raised a golden eyebrow. “A deal? What have you to deal with?”
“Razul plans to unleash an army of demons on the Earth.”
“And how will he do th
at?”
“He has my soul. He will return it to me if I open the portal between Hell and Earth.”
Shock flared in Gabriel’s face. “Are you saying you will do as he asks if I don’t agree to this deal? Are you crazy? You would release an army into this world and end forever any peace man has known?”
Torr wanted to lie, but couldn’t. He would not open the portal even for this. Bella would never want that of him. He shook his head. “I’ll never open the portal.”
“So what is it you want to deal?”
“I will give myself up to Razul, make him believe I’ll cooperate, and then I’ll destroy him and his army.”
“And he will crush your soul.”
Torr shrugged, but said nothing. What was there to say?
“You will be lost forever.”
Torr growled softly; he’d suspected the consequences. “Would you rather I open the portal?” he snapped.
Gabriel pursed his lips. “You could go away. Disappear. My guess is Lilith will not allow your soul to be destroyed, as that would break the Covenant, and Razul will not go against his queen.”
“This way I destroy their army, and the threat will be gone. At least for a long time,” he replied.
“Why?” He studied Torr for a few minutes; finally, he inclined his head. “Ah, I understand. You have lost the woman. But I cannot give her back to you.”
“I know. I accept that.”
“Then what is it you want in exchange?”
“I will be gone. The Covenant is no more. What reason is there for her to die? I want you to give her the life I took from her. I want you to watch over her, make sure she’s happy.”
Gabriel shook his head. “You would give up your soul for this woman.”
“Yes.”
“So this is love.” He turned away and paced the alley. When he came back, he nodded once. “The deal is done. Destroy Razul and his army and the woman shall have her life.” Then he was gone.
Torr sank back against the wall and bowed his head. If he succeeded, Bella would be safe. Some of the tension drained from him. Now, all he needed was to destroy Razul and his army.
Beneath his despair, he could feel the first stirrings of anger. Lilith had handed his soul to Razul. Razul had been behind all the things that had happened over the last few days. The death of Bella’s friend, the plane crash, the murders in Mexico City.
His fury rose, that red haze he remembered so well, and he fought it down. He would not turn to the darkness again. This was not revenge but a deed that needed to be done.
He would destroy Razul and his army, and if Lilith got in his way then he would destroy her as well.
He stripped off his shirt, tossing it to the ground. A moment later, he spread his midnight black wings, almost touching the walls on either side of the alley. Then he opened a portal and hurled himself into the abyss.
Lilith waited for him on the black marble steps of her palace. Dressed in a white, floor length gown, her red-gold hair rippled down to her waist, and a golden serpent coiled around her body, its head resting on the curve of her breast. It blinked at Torr, then slithered to the ground and vanished into the shadows around the palace walls.
“What are you doing here? I thought you’d be doting on your little human. Trying to convince her that you’re not a cold blooded demon with more blood on your hands than even Razul.”
“I’m no demon,” he growled.
“Those are demon’s wings you bear.” She nodded at his midnight black wings.
Torr took a pace closer, towering over her, his wings spread. “You handed my soul to Razul.”
Her eyes darted to him, then away. She lifted one slender shoulder. “I may have done.”
“Why?”
She reached out a hand, rested her palm on his chest, and he flinched beneath her touch. Her eyes softened, as she gazed up at him. “I love you, Torr.”
He stepped back breaking the contact. Her hand dropped to her side and her eyes narrowed. Torr shook his head. “You don’t even know what the word means. You just can’t bear anyone walking away from you.”
“You should have come back to me.” He studied her and she shifted beneath his steady gaze, then she shrugged again. “I never thought this would go on so long. I thought you would come to your senses, return to me.”
“I will never come back to you. I may have lost Bella—”
“You’ve lost her?” Lilith’s arched brows drew together. “The time is not yet up.”
“She looked into my mind and saw what I am. Saw I had no soul. She will never love what I have become.”
Hope flared in her eyes. “So why not come back? We were good together.” Her voice was eager; she really believed he would return to her. Crazy bitch. “We could go back to the way we were. Combine our forces and take over the Earth, rule side by side. Even Heaven would not be beyond our grasp.”
“Perhaps. But for that, I’ll need my soul. Can you get it back for me?”
“Razul will never hand it back to me.” She gave a small shrug. “Why not do as he asks? Open the portal tomorrow night. Let the invasion begin.”
Torr considered her for a moment. He needed her to believe that he would do as she asked. “What guarantee do I have that he will return it to me, should I open the portal?”
“Razul knows he will face my wrath should anything happen to your soul.”
“I’ll remind him of that fact.”
A slight smile curled Razul’s thin lips. He fingered the black jewel he wore around his throat, and pain danced along Torr’s nerve endings. Razul squeezed it between his finger and thumb, and scalding agony flooded Torr’s body. Collapsing to his knees, his head hung down and his breath came short and hard as he struggled to control himself.
Razul flashed him another smile and squeezed again. This time Torr blacked out. When he came around, he lay on his side, his hands cuffed behind his back, his legs shackled.
He stared up at the demon. “Lilith told me to remind you that she will destroy you if any harm should come to my soul.”
The demon moved to stand beside him. He drew back his booted foot and kicked Torr hard in the side. The crack of bones was loud in his ears. Torr didn’t try to defend himself as Razul rained blows on his chained body. Maybe the pain would be a distraction. He closed his eyes, pictured Bella’s face, and saw her smiling, happy.
Finally, Razul stepped back, breathing hard, his eyes gleaming crimson. Torr lay silent. His time would come. He would destroy Razul. The demon would have to release him tomorrow night in order for the portals to be opened.
“No harm will come to your soul as long as you do as you promised. But I don’t trust you,” Razul explained. “I’d rather you weren’t on the loose, so I think we’ll keep you somewhere safe until the time comes tomorrow night.” He nodded to two demons who loitered behind him. “Take him to the dungeons.”
Chapter 17
Day 5
Bella had only agreed to get on the flight because Cade had told her that Torr was no longer in Mexico City. She needed to talk to him, and she hoped he would be waiting when they returned to London. Cade wouldn’t answer any questions about where he had gone. He still appeared in shock and that worried Bella more than anything else. Cade had always appeared so cool.
This time they flew commercial. She supposed that’s what happened when you crashed your private jet. She couldn’t even get up an ounce of worry about the plane crashing.
They were in first class, not that she was in any mood to appreciate it. Phoebe sat beside her, but she hadn’t said a word since they’d boarded. She’d had a private conversation with Cade back at the house; and since then, she’d been quiet and withdrawn.
Cade was next to Bryce across the aisle. She had a feeling he would have preferred to be sitting with his wife, but he was keeping a close eye on his friend. Bryce appeared relaxed if sad. He’d come to see her back at the house, and had offered her his deepest thanks and his ongoing protection
should she need it. She got the distinct impression that he’d been suicidal, and that for the first time in an age, he was actually contemplating a life ahead.
Bella gave Phoebe a quick sideways glance. Her hands twisted in her lap, and she was chewing on her lower lip.
“Please tell me what’s going on?” Bella murmured.
Phoebe darted her a glance, then flicked a look at Cade who was watching her. She shrugged. “I don’t know. We’ll find out when we get home. Hopefully, Torr will be back.”
Bella held the other woman’s gaze and peered into her mind. All she saw was confusion, concern, and beneath that, she could sense that she didn’t believe her own words. Phoebe didn’t believe that Torr was coming back.
“Don’t do that,” Phoebe snapped and looked away.
Where had Torr gone, and why would no one talk to her about him? Why did she get the impression that they blamed her in some way? That she had failed them.
She closed her eyes and pretended to sleep. It was going to be a long night.
As Cade drove them through the city heading back to their headquarters, the atmosphere in the car was still subdued.
Dawn was breaking and the roads were quiet. Bella stared out of the darkened window as the city streets flashed by. The area was familiar and she realized they were passing close to where she’d grown up. On an impulse, she leaned across and tapped Cade on the shoulder. He glanced back at her. “What is it?”
“Do you think we could stop for a while?”
“Where?”
What was she supposed to say? That she had an urge to visit her mother? The mother she hadn’t seen since she was fourteen. She’d thought about it once or twice. After she’d closed off her powers, she’d wondered if she’d be able to face her mother, talk to her as just two human beings. Perhaps understand, without the constant emotional bombardment, why she had hated her so much. In the end, she’d always backed out because she’d been too much of a coward.