by Debra Cowan
"You are?" There was such longing in her eyes that Sam felt humbled.
He nodded, reaching for her hand. "Mace helped me to understand what was going on. So did you. When we made love a while ago, I knew. The last couple of days I've started to sort through things, separate my feelings for you from my sense of responsibility over Brad." He stared into her eyes, looking uncertain, then seeming to make a decision. "I wanted you the first time I met you."
Surprise widened her eyes.
"And I couldn't stand myself. It was bad enough to live with it while Brad was alive, but when he died, it made me feel even more guilty. He died by my gun, with me at his back. Then a year and a half ago, when you and I slept together, I thought—" He shoved an unsteady hand through his hair. "Somehow I thought that would put things in perspective. Instead, I felt more guilty, more responsible, more confused. But I've come to forgive myself for that night. And you, for hurting me."
Regret shadowed her eyes. "That's why, when we made love, you felt like you'd wished Brad dead? That you'd allowed him to die so we could be together?"
"Yes."
"Oh, Sam, I'm so sorry."
"I figured I deserved to believe you'd used me. Hell, I couldn't do anything without thinking about Brad. How could you, when you'd been married to him?"
"That's why I ran. Because I thought I should be holding on tighter to him. With you around, I wasn't holding on to him at all."
"We're quite the pair, aren't we?" He stared into her eyes, putting the past to rest, trying to grasp the concept of a future with Dallas.
"At least we've got another chance. I don't want to blow it."
"I don't, either. It scared the hell out of me when I woke up a while ago and you were gone."
"I'm sorry. I thought I'd be back before you were awake."
"So." Unable to look at her, he shifted his gaze to the horizon. "Are you getting on that plane to Texas this afternoon?"
"Yes. I want to see my family."
His gut caved in, even though he understood.
"You could come with me."
He cautioned the hope that sprang to life inside him. "And then?"
"My transfer will take a couple of months."
"I guess I'll be making a lot of trips to Denver." He snagged her elbow and pulled her to him, cupping her face in his palms. "I love you, Dallas LeAnn Kittridge."
She covered his hands with hers as his mouth came down on hers, gentle and warm and possessive. She wrapped her arms around his neck and opened her soul.
When they came up for air, he said against her lips, "Marry me."
"Marriage?" She pulled away, sudden protest in her eyes. "Don't do this for me, Sam. I'm in no hurry."
"What kind of answer is that, Kittridge? Will you marry me or not?"
She tilted her head, her gaze narrowing on him. "You knew if you caught me in a weak moment, I wouldn't be able to say no."
He grinned that knee-melting grin she'd first fallen for. "I was hoping."
"You think you're so smart."
"Naw, you're the smart one. I'm the pretty one."
She laughed, kissing him hard. A slow smile spread across her face. "I love you, too."
"And?"
"Yes, Detective Charm," she said, laughing. "I'll marry you."
He caught her to him in a fierce kiss and when they drew apart, she laid her head on his shoulder. They stood with their arms around each other's waist, looking at Brad's grave.
"Do you think he knows?" she asked softly.
Sam stared up into the clear blue sky and the glittering ball of sun, and felt a subtle shift in the air. Peace. He felt peace. The day seemed somehow brighter, more complete. "I think he might."
He hugged her to him and murmured against her hair, crisp from the cold air, "Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas."
They shared a smile as Sam opened her car door. He glanced over his shoulder, overcome with a bittersweet nostalgia. Merry Christmas, buddy.
"I'd like to have your child, Sam," Dallas announced.
That got his attention. Jerking his gaze to hers, he stared. "You don't have to do this for me. You're all I'll ever need."
"I wouldn't be doing it for you. I'd be doing it because of us."
Humbled, he knelt beside the car and took her hand. "Then I think we should get married tomorrow. At your family's home."
"Tomorrow! Can't you wait until I at least live here?"
"No." He kissed her with all the promise and strength of their love. A love that had been tested and welded by fire. A love that completed them both.
That one night a year and a half ago had led them through regret and resentment and finally back to each other. Stronger. Better. Fulfilled. Their future had started with one silent night in the past.
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