by M Sawyer
Alexa nodded. “Of all people, you understand what it’s like to be alone, stuck in a world where you don’t belong. I wanted someone who understood. That’s why I called you here.” She twined her fingers around each other in her lap. “I wanted a daughter.”
“A daughter?” Nolin’s mind grasped at what she heard. Her head wasn’t working properly. She felt like she could only stupidly repeat Alexa’s words.
Alexa nodded again, more eagerly. She turned around to face Nolin. Nolin could see the outline of her slim torso through the sheer material of her garment. Alexa took Nolin’s hands in hers. Nolin wanted to pull her hands away, but she didn’t. She wanted answers.
“Whose body did they bury?” Nolin asked. “In your grave. Who is it?”
Alexa looked down again. “It was a goblin.”
“A goblin.” Nolin didn’t like this at all.
“I came back to the forest to make sure I belonged here,” Alexa went on. “With your mother all those years ago. It didn’t go as I’d hoped, but here we are. It didn’t take the goblins long to find me.” She shuddered. “They took me because I knew their secrets. They were vicious. I’m probably lucky they didn’t eat me.”
Nolin couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Alexa continued.
“One night, years later, they stole another child. It’s their way, to ensure their survival and widen the gene pool for breeding. It still felt wrong to me. So I returned the baby boy they’d stolen. I thought about raising him, but I couldn’t. It wasn’t right.” Alexa swallowed. Her dark eyes pleaded with Nolin. “Something happened to me that night,” she went on. “It changed me. I was so lonely. That night I realized I wanted a child, but not just any child.”
“You wanted...me?” Nolin said, her throat dry. Alexa nodded.
“My old friend Melissa had a special daughter. She didn’t deserve you. I watched how she mistreated you, Nolin, and I knew I could do better. I would never have hurt you the way she did.” Alexa’s eyes filled with tears. Her white lips buckled. “I couldn’t just steal you, though; that would be wrong. I’d be no better than the goblins. I knew you’d have to come to me by choice. I wanted you to choose me.” Alexa’s frigid hands shook.
“So I showed you the way. I took you from your crib one night and brought you here.” She looked up at the tree, smiling. “This tree is special, Nolin. It was sacred to the goblins. It connects all our minds together. It connects us to the woods and to what little magic we still have. No one can find this place if they don’t already know where it is. You have to be shown.”
It was too much. Everything Nolin ever wanted to know poured on her at once. The dreams, the confusion—it was always Alexa, with the Claw Tree as her instrument.
Nolin sat, dumbfounded. “How?”
Alexa scrambled to her feet excitedly, dragging Nolin with her toward the tree. Panic rose in Nolin’s throat. She forced herself to calm down. Alexa led her under the tree into the pile of leaves, then reached for a thin vine that dangled from the trunk.
“Take this,” she ordered.
Nolin took the branch in her fingers, uneasily wondering what to do while Alexa watched expectantly.
“Listen,” said Alexa.
Nolin didn’t know what she was supposed to be listening to. She trained her ears hard, searching for any subtle sound, anything Alexa wanted her to hear.
A bolt of panic shot through Nolin’s body and she gasped, nearly dropping the branch. It felt strange, like the panic wasn’t hers. Alexa grabbed Nolin’s hand and held the vine in place. “You feel it, don’t you? Close your eyes.”
Nolin obeyed. A blurry vision of the town swam in her mind’s eye. She was driving a truck, frantically wheeling around corners, panic-stricken. She realized her hands weren’t hers. They were larger, rougher. Her body felt too big.
Alexa released her hand so the vine would slip out of Nolin’s fingers.
“What the hell was that?” Nolin demanded.
Alexa smiled. “That’s how I know you so well. How I speak to you. Through this tree, I can see what you see and feel what you feel.”
“So I was seeing through someone else?” Nolin asked, breathless. “Wait...was that Drew?”
Alexa beamed and nodded eagerly. “That’s how the tree works. Once the tree knows you, it’s always with you. It can see you. And we can communicate.”
“You’ve been spying on me through this tree?” Nolin asked, flabbergasted. “When you’re not peeking through my window or sneaking into my house?”
“Sometimes,” Alexa admitted. “I can only show you things when you’re asleep, in dreams.”
Nolin wasn’t sure how she felt about this. The word violated came to mind.
“So, the tree has to know you. So why Drew?” Nolin asked. “Why does the tree know...” Then it dawned on her. “Drew? It was Drew? The boy the goblins took?”
Alexa smiled, her eyes glazed like she was recalling a treasured memory. “He wasn’t here for a full night. He won’t remember, but the tree remembers him. It doesn’t matter. He wouldn’t understand. It’s you I wanted.”
Nolin shook her head incredulously.
Alexa leaned over, plucked something from a lump of leaves, and offered it to Nolin—a pink crocheted baby shoe.
Nolin took the shoe and rolled it over in her hand. It was exactly like the one she’d found in Melissa’s studio.
“I’m not a changeling,” Nolin said tonelessly.
Alexa shook her head.
“Melissa’s my real mother.”
“Yes.”
Nolin let that sink in. Was she relieved? Disappointed? She couldn’t tell. Mostly, she was just confused.
“She shouldn’t be, though,” Alexa said darkly. “She doesn’t know you. She’s never seen how amazing you are. She treated you terribly.” Nolin flinched as Alexa put a cold hand on her arm.
“I knew you when you were a child,” she went on. “You were so smart, so special. I spoke to you through the woods every day, gave you dreams every night. I knew I could give you better. I tried to take your mother’s place so I could take care of you and we could be together. Paul would have none of it...”
“Wait, my dad?” Nolin said suddenly. “When did you meet my dad? You disappeared long before he met...” The parts slid into place, and she understood. “It was you?” Nolin said. “The woman on the phone that night?”
Alexa smiled. “Do you really think he wouldn’t be looking for someone else?” she said. “Melissa was a disaster. We talked about him leaving her and bringing you with him. I didn’t know if you’d ever come here on your own, so I tried to come to you.”
Nolin’s mind reeled. “Did he know what you are?”
Alexa’s smile wavered. “No. I was just a girl in town to him. He didn’t need to know. I just needed to look like a better choice than the mess he was married to.”
Nolin shook her head. “I don’t believe this. What makes you think I would have bought that?”
Alexa smiled gently, like a rusty nail dipped in sugar. “Because,” she said, “we were great friends. Paul would always drop you off with me when you had to come home from school early. We thought it would warm you up to the idea so it would be easier when we finally told you.”
Nolin saw stars. The world seem to spin, and she was glad she was sitting down. “No, no. Ms. Savage? You? The whole time?” Nolin stared hard at Alexa’s face. She could see it now. Contacts, makeup, clothes, hair tied back. A completely different persona.
“That’s why your face was scribbled out in all the photos,” Nolin said. “Melissa didn’t do that. You broke into my house and did it yourself. So I wouldn’t recognize you.” Nolin doubted she would have anyway. The strange woman in front of her was nothing like the librarian that befriended her.
Alexa nodded, seemingly glad that Nolin was understanding. “I didn’t want you to know before you were ready. I thought it would upset you.”
“Well you’re right. I’m upset,” Nolin sa
id, her voice shaking. “You manipulated me. For years.”
Alexa’s smile disappeared. “I wanted to help you,” she said, hurt, a dangerous edge to her voice. “Melissa was a terrible mother. I had to save you, one way or the other.”
“So why didn’t you just take me when I ran out here?” Nolin demanded. “I ran away from school and came straight to you. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
“Your mind was gone,” Alexa snapped, sitting up straight. “You didn’t choose it. You didn’t come to me; you had a nervous breakdown and ran away. I couldn’t take you like that.” She shook her head. “Letting those men take you away was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but you needed to heal and learn for yourself. You needed to be whole, not just wander here by accident.”
Nolin shook her head, then pushed herself up and climbed out from under the tree. Alexa scrambled after her.
“Wait! I know this is hard for you to hear. It’s all true. I just want the best for you, I swear.”
Nolin tramped toward the tree line. The ground breathed under her feet, and she felt disoriented, unbalanced.
“Melissa was your friend,” Nolin said. “Why would you do that? You drove her insane!”
Alexa’s hand closed around Nolin’s arm, pulling her back. “You don’t know anything about her,” Alexa said, her voice low and dangerous. “You don’t know who she is or what she did. She left me for dead, Nolin. Would a friend do that?”
Nolin turned to face Alexa. They were exactly the same height, the same build, had the same wild hair. She really could be my mother, Nolin thought.
But she wasn’t.
“Melissa looked for you,” Nolin said. “You fell down that ravine and she looked, and when she couldn’t find you she went back to town to get help.”
A vein throbbed in Alexa’s temple. Color bloomed in her pale cheeks. “She threw me down that ravine when she found out what I was!” she hissed. “When she found out I was alive, she didn’t try to find me. She was no friend. She resented me. Always. I’m sure you read all about it.” She spat the last sentences. A fleck of spittle landed on Nolin’s cheek.
The muscles in Nolin’s face stiffened. Was it true? Melissa had been a murder suspect, but she was never tried. There was no evidence; only speculation.
“There were bruises on her arms,” Nolin remembered from the newspaper clipping. “Finger marks.”
Alexa’s nodded, a relieved smile touching her face.
“Yes,” she said. “We fought. I told her why we were really there. At first she thought I’d dragged us on a wild goose chase. Then she believed me. She was furious.” Her voice cracked, and tears sparkled in her black eyes. “She was stronger than me. I tried to hold on or throw her off me, but I couldn’t. She threw me over the edge. I was hurt. And they found me.” She stood up straighter. “Please believe me.”
Nolin didn’t know what to think. Alexa’s white lips pressed together, eyes glimmering with tears. She took a tentative step forward, then reached her arms out and embraced Nolin.
Her arms and body were like cold stone. Nolin carefully hugged her back. Nolin could feel every bone in her torso. In that moment, Alexa reminded Nolin so much of Melissa.
A wave of sympathy passed through Nolin. Alexa had been alone for years, abandoned, forgotten. Her life couldn’t have been easy in the woods or in the human world. Was this the right thing? Was this how it was supposed to be?
Alexa stiffened in Nolin’s arms. Over Alexa’s shoulder, Nolin noticed a strange rock on the ground about ten feet away, half grey and half brown, about the size of a grapefruit. She wasn’t sure why it caught her eye. Before she could think about it, Alexa jerked away.
“Do you hear that?” Alexa said, staring into the trees.
“Hear what?” Nolin listened.
Something moved in the trees. Nolin heard a soft rustling of undergrowth.
Without warning, Alexa sprinted into the trees faster than Nolin had seen any person run. She leapt between the white tree trunks until she was only a pale blur. A yelp, a scream, then a thud, followed by furious thrashing of the ground cover as Alexa marched back, dragging something with her. Someone was screaming.
Alexa stepped into the clearing, her face a mask of fury, pulling Melissa by the hair. The hospital gown had ridden up around Melissa’s waist. One of her hips was still encased in gauze and plaster, but that seemed to be the least of her concerns. Melissa kicked and shrieked, clawing helplessly at any part of Alexa she could reach.
“Sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong, as usual,” Alexa spat. She yanked Melissa to her feet by her hair.
“While you’re here,” Alexa said to Melissa, “I think you have something to tell your daughter.” Melissa put most of her weight on her good leg. The remaining color drained from her face.
Nolin felt sick. Her lungs seized in her chest. Alexa marched the hobbling Melissa closer, only to throw her at Nolin’s feet. Melissa shrieked in pain as she hit the ground. Automatically, Nolin stooped to help her, but Alexa tugged Melissa away by the arm.
“No, no. She’s fine. Let her stand up on her own.” Alexa left Melissa and crossed to stand by Nolin’s side. “Tell her who you are,” Alexa demanded. “Tell her who I am. She needs to know.”
Nolin gaped at Melissa, torn between wanting to help and needing to hear whatever Alexa was ordering her to say. “Tell me what?” she asked quietly.
Melissa panted as she heaved herself to her feet, leaning on her good leg and yanking the gown down to cover herself. Her legs were scratched, and her nose was bleeding. With a sick jolt, Nolin wondered whether Melissa had removed the feeding tube herself. How had she gotten out of the hospital? How had she dragged herself all this way with a broken hip, to a place that couldn’t be found except by those who knew the way?
She knows the way, Nolin realized.
Something was missing.
“Tell me what?” Nolin said again, louder, her voice ringing with anger.
Melissa stood, her face screwed up with pain and grief.
“I’m not Melissa Michaels,” she said finally, her voice raspy and coarse. She nodded at Alexa. “She is.”
Chapter 46
“WHAT?” NOLIN ASKED, her voice thin and faint. “What the hell does that mean?”
“She means,” Alexa said gently, taking Nolin’s hand in what was probably meant to be a comforting manner, “that she is a goblin. She was switched at birth for a human child—me. I was Melissa Michaels.”
Nolin’s insides felt numb. Only an hour ago, she’d thought she knew the truth, and that disappearing into the woods would make everything right. Now she didn’t know what was real.
She wasn’t sure she wanted the truth anymore.
Alexa squeezed her hand. It might have been meant as a gentle squeeze, but she was strong. Her frigid skin made Nolin shiver.
“She was never meant to be your mother, Nolin,” Alexa said softly. “Her life wasn’t supposed to be hers. Everything she’s ever had was stolen from me, including you.”
A lump formed in Nolin’s throat. She thought she might be sick. She pressed her free hand to her mouth and squeezed her eyes shut. Melissa whimpered in pain, but she stayed on her feet.
This wasn’t real. It couldn’t be.
“You were always afraid to go outside,” Nolin said quietly to Melissa. “You were afraid of the woods.”
Alexa smiled coldly. “She’s afraid of what she is,” Alexa said, her voice edged with malice. “She was scared of what the forest would do to her. It would turn her into a monster, so she stayed inside and tried to forget, starved herself into nothing so she could never be what she truly is.” Melissa swayed with her hospital gown billowing around her, staring at her scratched and bare feet. Tears rolled off her grimy cheeks and splattered in the dirt.
Alexa went on. “She never embraced her true nature, so she lost it. Goblins are born, but they also have to be made. I was born human, then the forest changed me. We’ve all chos
en what we are.”
Melissa said nothing, looking miserably at Nolin. Her empty gray eyes seared like a brand.
Nolin released Alexa’s hand and crossed her arms over her chest. “How long have you known?” she asked Melissa.
Melissa tried to clear her throat and coughed before speaking. “Since she brought me here, when we were seventeen. She told me then.”
“And you believed her?”
Melissa’s eyes turned to her feet. “I didn’t at first. Then we came here, and I remembered. I realized that the dreams I’d had all my life weren’t dreams. I was different, and that’s when I found out why.”
“My parents never liked her,” Alexa piped up. “They knew, deep down, that she wasn’t theirs. I fit in so perfectly. They told me they wanted to adopt me, but they already had two children to support.” She glared at Melissa, who returned her steely gaze with her own.
“You lived with humans,” said Nolin. “If you were stolen, why didn’t you live in the woods?”
Alexa smiled grimly. “I was found in these woods by hikers when I was very young. I must have escaped, and I was very sick. They took me to the hospital and I was placed in a foster home. I grew up like a normal child, more or less. No one knew who I was. I didn’t even know who I was.”
Nolin didn’t think her brain could absorb anything else, but she still wanted to know. So many holes in this story that intertwined with her own. If she didn’t know now, she never would. And she would always wonder.
“And you went to school and met Melissa,” Nolin said flatly, not looking at either of them. She stared blankly at the forest floor a few feet in front of her. “Did you know what you were, and what she was?”
Alexa shook her head. She looked like she was getting impatient. “I didn’t at first,” she said, exasperation in her voice. “I thought my memories were only bad dreams or stories I’d imagined. I was so young when the goblins left me. I realized the dreams weren’t dreams when I started exploring the woods and finding places I dreamed about. I started to remember. Then I started to dream about my parents. Her parents. They were memories too. The more I remembered, the more obsessed I became with the woods, and the more I wanted to go there to be sure. So we went into the woods together, and I told Melissa. Then she threw me down that slope and left me for dead.”