by M. Merin
She stops speaking as we hear footsteps approach. A doctor I’ve never seen before comes in and examines me before explaining what happened. Once I past his inspection, I ask for Shade and his eyes widen in surprise. “It’s well past visiting hours,” he looks at the clock on the wall and I guess that the one o’clock hour means a.m.
“Please? He’s my son’s father and I want him, if he’s here?” I plead.
“He was when I came in,” the doctor concedes. “Nurse? If you could go look for him?”
I lay back and wait, ignoring the subtle ache in my head, perking up when I hear his heavy boots approaching the room.
“Jessa,” he closes the door behind him and strides quickly to me. “Fuck, I’ve been so worried.”
Smiling as I’m enfolded in his arms, I hold him tight.
“Forgive me? I was angry the day I left, I shouldn’t have been. Not at you. I didn’t kiss you and then when I got back and found out what happened…” Shade’s hands are wrapped carefully around my head and he’s laying light kisses all across my forehead.
“I’m not family, so they wouldn’t let me back here. Ellie’s let me by the house to visit with Danny, I mean, as long as Roy’s there at the same time.” He keeps talking and I can hear the restrained anger in voice, but he takes deep breaths to settle himself down for me.
“Are you in pain?” He asks next.
“It’s better now,” I answer and he smiles down at me. “Must be all these kisses you’re giving me.”
“I like kissing you, Rosy. Never saw the point in it before you but it makes me feel connected to you,” he looks down like he’s confessing a deep, dark secret. “Tell me what happened? I haven’t gotten many details.”
“It was insane. I’ve processed that guy before. He had always just gone along with it, but Smith was seeing to someone else and the drunk just spun on me. He had me by my throat before I could do anything. I remember seeing Smith running towards me at some point but nothing else.” I almost start to shake at the memory, at that feeling of helplessness.
“Shh, you’re safe now. You’re so fucking precious and I swear…” Shade’s words cuts off when the door opens.
“Jessa,” Michaels drawls out. Looking between Shade and me. “How are you feeling?”
Shade’s body tenses up but I strengthen my hold on him before answering. “Good, Sheriff. I can’t believe I lost nearly two days though.”
“You’re on workman’s comp, Jessa. Don’t you worry about that, we just need you to get back to that baby of yours,” he smiles at me and I swear Shade growls. The noise causes Michaels to level his gaze on him, accompanied by a smirk.
“She’ll need some days at home once they release her. Danny’s missing the hell out of her,” Shade speaks up, keeping his temper in check.
“What’s he eating?” I turn on Shade.
“Formula. He is NOT impressed,” he winks at me. “Momma’s milk is so much better. With the painkiller you’re on Ellie said they’ve been dumping what they pump.”
My face flares red and the Sheriff takes the silence to cut back in and asks Shade to leave.
“No! Please, I want him here,” Michaels frowns at my plea but nods and pulls up a chair. He gently takes my statement, which is just a formality due to the cameras at the station house.
“Perp will make bail tomorrow but with his priors, he’ll get a couple of years for this. He’s untouchable in the meanwhile, Shade.” Michaels gives him a knowing look. “Don’t give a fuck what your alibi would be, he gets a paper cut and I’ll come after you. Just let this go through the system.”
Shade
I know Michaels is giving me solid advice but it doesn’t make me any happier. Even knowing it was a drunk motherfucker who touched my woman, he had no right and I want to make sure he knows that. That everyone around this town knows that.
The doctor comes in again and Jessa puts me down as a family member, ignoring Michaels’ glare as he takes his leave. After she passes out from her dose of painkiller, I step out to the hallway, knowing Michaels won’t go far while I’m here.
“Sheriff, wanna tell me why Jessa isn’t safe at the station?” I start it, simply to throw him off guard.
“Busy night, she pitched in to help like she always does and it, it shouldn’t have happened,” he sighs, looking tired and running a hand through his hair. “Look, she’s a good kid and I want her to be safe. I just don’t see her life getting any better with you in it.”
“Not your call. I’m not walking away from them, Michaels.”
“Just so you know I’ll be watching you like a fucking hawk every fucking day,” he gives me another hard look before walking away.
I turn and walk back into her room, pulling a chair up to the bed I reach for her hand before dozing off. Waking up later to her running her hand over my hair, I look up to see tears flowing down her cheeks.
“What? What is it?” I look around, still confused from sleep.
“The birth certificate, Shade. We need to do that right away. I was so fucking selfish not tracking you down,” Jessa has completely worked herself up and I know that can’t be good for her. “If you hadn’t seen me that day, no one would know who Danny’s father is…”
“Hush, Jessa,” I lean up and cover her lips with my own. Wiping her tears away next, I continue kissing her until I feel her sobs ease. “Look at me, that’s all past. Come on, that’s not all on you. I wouldn’t even fucking kiss you that night – I’m the asshole who made you think I wouldn’t care. I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere, you feel me, Rosy?”
“I want you but it’s so fucking fast. You need to be on his birth certificate in case anything happens to me. Just let Ellie be in his life, too?”
“Shit, Jessa, I think the pain meds are freaking you out. Nothing’s gonna happen to you, ok? Look at me?” I hold her face in my hands and I can see from her eyes that her near panic attack is wearing her out. Arranging the pillows behind her, I try to get her more comfortable.
“Lay down with me?” Her eyes plead with me, so I comply – careful not to bump her head as I help her shift over a little.
Once we get settled, I tell her about my visit with Danny until I hear her snores start. Then I try to get more comfortable, laying back and planning our future before I fall back to sleep.
*
The next day, I leave her to take care of Danny when Ellie has to go into work, then it’s back to Jessa’s bedside until I’m called away for Church the following day.
A big supplier of ours was taken out by his competition and we’re left with no choice but to reach out to the new group and try to get a deal worked out. I breathe a sigh of relief when it turns out that Roy has a contact who can be persuaded to set up a meet. That’ll get him out of my hair for a while.
Picking up my phone, I have messages that Jessa will be released soon.
“Hey, I can go pick her up, if you’ll stay with Danny?” I call Ellie back first.
“I was hoping you’d say that. I came home with a terrible headache and don’t want to take a chance driving again,” she responds and I can hear Danny fussing in the background.
“Okay, see ya in an hour,” I respond before disconnecting.
Turning towards the front doors, I pause. Shaking my head, I briefly try to talk myself out of doing what I know I should. Turning back towards Church, I catch Roy as he’s coming out of the hallway. I tilt my head to the side, silently asking him to join me.
“Just spoke to Ellie,” I start. “She doesn’t sound great – said she has a bad headache. I’ve got to go pick Jessa up from the hospital, can you…”
“I’ll call her now,” Roy responds, his eyes narrow as he stares me down. I nod and turn to head out. “Thanks for letting me know, kid.”
I bite my tongue on the smart-ass response that screams in my head and simply shrug as I keep walking.
*
Michaels is walking into the hospital at the same time I get there and
my hands ball into fists at the thought of him being there for Jessa. He’s gotta learn that she’s mine and doesn’t need another man sniffing after her.
“Easy there, asshole,” he growls at me. “My wife works here, remember?”
“Your wife?!” My eyes open wide at the news that he got married.
“Yeah, I was hurt you never sent us a card,” he smirks at me, before noticing the surprised look I know I’m wearing. “I married Jake’s sister, you dipshit. Where were you last year, anyway?”
“Jake’s sister?” I stop walking, my jaw nearly hitting the floor.
“Mike!” A bundle of energy with a large smile walks towards us, her eyes locked on the Sheriff – and there’s no denying she looks like Jake. Well, if Jake was short, had a plump ass, and was pregnant, that is.
“Holy-fuck-me,” I mumble as she leans up to kiss Michaels.
“Are you Shade?” She turns her smile on me and doesn’t stop talking after her eyes confirm my identity by the patch on my cut. “I just checked in on Jessa and she told me all about you – I don’t know why you didn’t tell me, Mike! I’m happy to answer any other questions about changing Danny’s birth certificate. It’s so great you two found each other again!”
“Birth certificate?” Michaels and I say at the same time. No one told me the goddamn Sheriff married Jake’s sister. Didn’t even fucking know Jake had a sister.
“Yes, now that Shade and Jessa are together, they both want him to be on Danny’s birth certificate,” the Doctor gives the Sheriff a funny look at his tone. “Jessa also signed paperwork with the hospital that if she’s ever admitted again, Shade has full access.”
She’s talking a mile a minute but all I really heard was that Jessa and I are together.
“I’m Shade Hall. What’s your name, Doctor?” A big smile lights up my face and I stick out my hand.
“Tabby Forsythe – well, Michaels, when I’m not at work,” she beams up at the Sheriff, tugging his arm when she sees him frowning at me. I bet he heard the same thing I did. Jessa told his wife that we’re together.
“Well, I gotta go bust my woman out of this place. You both have a great day,” I barely recognize my voice, I’m so fucking happy. Tabby replies but the Sheriff doesn’t say a word.
A bouquet of roses catches my eye and I make a quick stop in the gift shop. The older lady in the store doesn’t seem too impressed by me, but Jessa and I are together and I’m buying flowers for the first time in my life - other than those flowers I got as a thank you for Ellie – so these are important. These are flowers for the woman I love.
“They’re beautiful!” Jessa’s eyes light up when she sees me entering her room a couple minutes later, immediately schooling me on why guys spend so fucking much on flowers.
“Not next to you, they aren’t,” I lay the bouquet against her arm while I bend over to kiss her.
In a movement that’s now becoming familiar, she reaches up to tug my earlobe. “That was a ‘line’, Shade!”
“I’m dead serious, Rosy, don’t you fucking doubt that.” I tilt her chin so she’s looking in my eyes to see how serious I am.
“I just signed off on all the discharge papers,” she smiles up at me. “They say you have to get a nurse to roll me out of here.” She indicates the wheelchair she’s in.
“Why don’t you take a walk on the wild side and let me handle that?” I grab her bag and the back of the chair, pushing her towards the door without pause. “Um, I met Dr. Forsythe…”
“She’s married to the Sheriff, you know?”
“Just found that out – and that she’s Jake’s sister. Thought I was having a stroke – when the hell did that happen?” I’m serious but she’s laughing like it was the funniest thing I’ve ever said.
“Last winter, maybe?” She sighs. “I think they’re adorable together. I met her brother and his wife in the waiting room of her office a couple times. I’ve mentioned her to you before.”
“Must have gone down been before I got back,” I shrug; looking at her, trying to figure out if she knows about Connal filling out Jake and Charlie’s relationship. I can’t imagine marrying a connection of the MC was an easy decision for Michaels. “I know I’d heard her name but she doesn’t use Michaels and if I ever knew Jake’s last name, I never thought about it.”
I lift her into my truck and double back to leave the wheel chair behind. She’s looking around with a weird look on her face as I’m getting in on my side of the truck.
“What’s wrong?”
“How’d I end up with a nicer truck than you?” She smiles at me while leaning in to smell her flowers.
“This does what it needs to do. That Explorer you got? THAT needs to get my woman and my son around safely and without any problems,” I pull her hand up to my mouth to kiss it.
“Your woman?”
“Want you to be my Ol’ Lady, just give me the go-ahead, Rosy,” I squeeze her hand as we’re heading the few short blocks away to her aunt’s place. “I’m all fucking in. Committed and getting my house ready for the two of you to be with me. Tell me what you need, Jessa.”
“Shade, you said to give you some time and you’d talk to me about why, well, why Michaels and Roy have concerns about you. I want to wait until you do that. When you’re comfortable being open with me, I’ll make my decision. There’s obviously something and I don’t need crazy details but you can trust me. And I need to be able to trust you – and know that all your cards are on the table,” she says softly but firmly.
“College girls,” I smile, shaking my head at her as I’m pulling up to the house. “Wait for me to get you?”
“I can walk.”
“Yeah, but I bought you flowers today and I’m feeling all romantic and shit,” I toss over my shoulder as I’m jumping out, getting a bark of laughter from her.
“Shade?” Jessa whispers in my ear once I have her in my arms. “I have an idea of what you’re going tell me. And really? You being honest with me and us talking about your temper – that means more to me than most anything you could have done in your past.”
“Most anything?” I ask, standing outside the front door.
“You’ve never hurt a woman or child, have you?” She can’t even look at me. Her eyes are glued to her flowers. “I mean, I don’t think that but I want to hear you say it.”
I pretend to drop her, getting a screech and more importantly, her eyes back on my face.
“I’ve never touched a woman or child, I swear on what’s left of my soul. I’d never do that,” I look her dead on.
“I believe you,” Jessa whispers after a second, nodding more to herself than me. Roy opens the door but I shake my head at him and turn back around.
Striding back to my truck, I toss her bag down, put her flowers on the hood and pin her up against the side, gripping her face in my hands.
“The day after I rode away from you I chopped up a pedophile, starting from his ankles and moving upwards. Fucking chopped his limbs into foot long pieces. I know how to do that so they don’t die right away,” My woman’s big brown eyes get bigger and her mouth drops open. “The guy was a teacher and took advantage of the autistic son of an MC member. Don’t get the wrong idea, Jessa, not everyone I’ve been hired for is that fucking twisted. But I swear to you, that guy was and the others weren’t exactly choir boys.
“I’m getting away from that work, I’ve already told you that – without specifying the work I’d been handling. I told you how I was raised. I get so angry sometimes and that shit became a release for me. I can’t promise you that I’ll never take another life, but I’m not chasing it anymore. Not like I did before I met you, that absolutely perfect night when you looked up at me and I knew I had to protect you.
“Now, I only want to ride with my Brothers, kiss you every day, and become a good dad to Danny and whoever else comes along.” I finally stop talking long enough to register the tears pooled in her eyes.
Jessa’s eyes are locked on my face and I j
ust close my eyes and press my forehead to hers. I have nothing left to say, other than begging her not to give up on me. I keep opening my mouth to say something but I can’t think of anything that would make my past right.
“So, are you going to get me a cut like the other Ol’ Ladies have?” Jessa asks, her voice a weird combination of tears and sincerity.
I lean back so fast she almost slips to the ground.
“Really? You’re not screwing with me?” I pretty much yell in her face.
“I kinda think I love you. Of course, it could be hormones, but…Shade, I don’t want you to take those jobs anymore. Think you can back away from that for us?” Jessa’s biting her bottom lip and looking so fucking innocent as she asks me not to murder anyone again. But, I’ve gotta be honest with her.
Chapter 12
Jessa
“Might have to, Jessa. Fuck, I could lie to you right now and paint a fucking fantasy but it might come down to me having to do it. If you or Danny needed protection, or if something serious had to be done for any of my Brothers? What do you want me to say here?
“I see how Gunner and the guys are with their Ol’ Ladies and you said you wanted me to be honest with you – and goddamn it – you work for fucking Michaels. I could get arrested on what I’ve already said, sweet Jessa…” My nostrils flare, torn up over all the emotions flowing through me.
“Hey, calm down, Shade,” I hold his face in my hands. “This is me and you. Here and now. I wanted honesty and you telling me you can’t promise me…that? That’s pretty damn honest.”
“Jessa, baby?” Shade looks shy when he opens his mouth again. “Do you really think you love me?”
I smile and nod.
His arms tighten around me, “Yeah?”
“It started the night we met. After that, I could never shake the thought of you. And that little present you left me with? As scared as I was during my pregnancy, the night I got to hold him in my arms, I was glowing. I was happy I had a part of you for keeps,” I kiss him lightly, smiling at my confession. “And since you found me? How you’re always good to me and how excited you get over Danny? How could I not love you?”