by Lucy Clark
‘Oh don’t give me that, Zac.’ She pulled away from him. ‘That’s just a cop-out. You just don’t want to make a commitment—a permanent commitment,’ she amended when he opened his mouth to protest. ‘You’ve known from the start that I’ve always wanted to get married, to have a family. I’m not talking about right now but some time in the future.’
He shrugged. ‘I’m just not the family type of guy, Jules. Sure, I like kids but when they’re someone else’s. Marriage just isn’t for me.’
‘You’re scared, Zac.’
‘I am not.’
‘You are. Just because your parents’ marriage broke up, you think the same thing is going to happen to you.’
‘That’s not true—’
‘That’s part of the problem,’ she interrupted. ‘You have to at least acknowledge that much.’
‘What if it is,’ he finally said. ‘It still doesn’t change the fact that I’m more interested in my career, in travelling, in having new medical experiences. I can’t do that if I have a family hanging around my neck.’
His words acted like a verbal slap and Julia recoiled. ‘So you think that if we get married, I’d drag you down.’
‘That’s not what I said, Julia.’ He reached out to take her hand again but she moved away. ‘Julia.’
‘No, Zac. I love you.’ Tears had gathered in her eyes and her tone held a hint of desperation.
‘I love you, too. That’s why I don’t want to stand in your way.’
‘Oh…so you’re going to go on the if-you-love-someone-set-them-free, tack?’ She shook her head, tears spilling onto her cheeks. ‘We’ve always brought out the best in each other,’ she whispered as she backed towards the door. ‘We are so right, so perfect for each other, but you obviously can’t see that.’
Julia opened the door, her blurry gaze fixed on the man she loved with all her heart. ‘Goodbye, Zac.’ Her voice cracked as she said his name, and before she could change her mind, Julia turned and ran out of the hospital, knowing he wouldn’t pursue her but hoping he would just the same.
Julia opened her eyes and breathed in deeply. Even now, the hurt he’d caused was still so alive in her memory. Still, she’d managed to get on with her life then and she could do the same now.
But this was only her first day at work! They still had the rest of the year to get through. That kiss they’d just shared had been incredible. It had been everything and more than she remembered.
But she had changed a lot since leaving him ten years ago, just as she knew he’d changed also. Some things, though, remained the same, like the easy camaraderie they’d always shared. Yes, they’d always been good friends so perhaps they could share that again.
Julia sighed and collected some money from her bag. ‘First things first—lunch.’ She crossed to her door and opened it, jumping with fright when she was faced with solid male on the other side.
‘Sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you,’ Zac said. ‘I was about to knock.’
They stood looking at each other for a few moments and Julia desperately tried to think of something to say. The money jingled in her hand and she looked down. ‘Ah, I was just about to get something to eat.’
He nodded. ‘Right. Well, I need you—’
Julia dropped her money on the floor and they both bent to pick it up. Their hands touched and she quickly jerked hers away as though he’d burnt her. He gave her a cautious look before straightening, letting her pick up the coins. She forced her gaze not to look at his gorgeous body as she stood, forced herself not to be affected by him, forced herself to lie. She couldn’t do it.
She cleared her throat. ‘You were saying, Zac? You need me?’
‘To come to Theatre. With me. This afternoon.’ He cleared his throat and ran his finger around the collar of his shirt.
‘I thought I had the afternoon to complete the hospital red tape. You know, identification badge, pager, and so on. I’m not…all wired up.’
‘It’ll have to wait. I need you. I need to do a pelvic fracture operation and it’s scheduled for today.’
‘I see. What’s the history? MVA?’
‘Hit-and-run victim. Eight days ago, thirty-nine-year-old female, Bianca Hayden, was hit as she hurried across the road. She sustained a fracture to her right humerus, cracked the right fourth, fifth and sixth ribs, as well as the left fifth and sixth.’ He was in ‘doctor’ mode and she listened intently to what he was saying.
‘I’ve set a Grosse and Kempf nail down her right femur and debrided and strapped the third and forth phalanges on her right foot. Urology fixed her ruptured bladder and urethra.’
‘Sounds like she’s had a great time,’ Julia said ironically, shaking her head. ‘The poor woman.’
‘Generally, I like to give the pelvis a chance to settle to see whether surgical intervention is necessary, which in this case it is. I knew I’d have extra help today so that’s why I put her on the list.’
‘OK. Do you want to go over the operation, then?’
‘Sure, but get some lunch first and meet me in my office.’
‘Great.’ Zac smiled at her, a genuine smile that said he was feeling a little more comfortable. ‘Can I get you anything, Zac?’
‘No. I’m fine.’ Zac didn’t move. He just stood there, looking at her. His pager beeped, startling both of them. ‘I’ll just go answer this.’
‘OK. Oh, Zac—how do I get to the cafeteria?’
His smile increased and he gave her directions.
‘Thanks.’ Julia headed for the door.
‘Jules,’ Zac called, and she turned in time to see him toss his hospital identification badge at her. She caught it and smiled. ‘You’ll be needing that to get back in,’ he said.
‘Thanks,’ she said again and walked out of the department. She found the cafeteria without complication and bought her lunch. When she returned to his office, she’d already finished half of her sandwich. She walked through the open door, sat down opposite him and placed his badge on the desk.
‘Feeling better?’
She nodded and swallowed her mouthful. ‘Food always makes me feel better.’
‘I remember,’ he said softly. ‘I also remember you nearly passing out on me one night when we were all studying, due to lack of food.’
Julia smiled with remembrance. ‘You came down on me like a ton of bricks for not looking after myself, and I’m pleased to report that I’ve never been that bad since,’ she told him. ‘Your lecture worked.’
He seemed surprised. ‘Good.’ He broke eye contact and stood, crossing the room to switch on the X-ray viewing box on his wall before hooking some radiographs up.
‘Three-dimensional scanning,’ she said, impressed. ‘That’ll certainly help.’
‘It does. CT scanning is good but this way I get an entire look at what’s really happening with the fractures and can pinpoint exactly where they are. Then I use this.’ He took some Plasticine out of his top drawer. ‘I roll this out so it’s quite thin and then, using a plastic pelvis…’ He pointed to a shelf behind him and Julia turned to look. There were all sorts of bones and she picked up a replica of the female pelvis and handed it to him. ‘I place the Plasticine where the fracture is and then I have a complete image that I can pick up and turn over in my hands to know exactly how to fix the fracture.’
‘Ingenious,’ she said, knowing he was waiting for her praise.
‘Thank you. Take a look at this first scan.’
‘Fracture of the right hemipelvis involving the sacroiliac joint, acetabular and pubic rami and symphysis bilaterally. Tough one.’
‘That’s why I need two surgeons,’ he pointed out. ‘Have you done any pelvic fracture operations before?’ he asked.
‘A few. I studied over in France during my final year of orthopaedic training.’
‘With Professor LaCourte?’
‘Yes.’ Julia finished her sandwich before neatly lobbing the paper into the bin behind him.
‘Now I’m impres
sed.’
‘What? With my basketball skills?’
He chuckled. ‘No. Working with LaCourte. He’s one of the world’s leading pelvic fracture surgeons.’
‘Thank you,’ she replied, suddenly feeling extra special because of his praise.
Zac looked at her and shook his head.
‘What?’
‘There’s so much about you that I don’t know.’
‘Ditto!’ There was silence again before Zac crossed back to his desk and began rolling out Plasticine. ‘So what approaches were you planning on using?’
‘Ilioinguinal then Kocher-Langenbeck.’
Julia nodded. ‘Great.’
‘So you approve?’
She gave him a quizzical look. ‘Why wouldn’t I?’
‘Well, you’re the one who’s studied with the experts in France.’
She smiled. ‘Feeling a bit intimidated?’
‘No.’
‘You’re lying, Zac. This is me you’re talking to. When you get annoyed, you clench your jaw and grind your teeth. When you’re frustrated, you run your hand through your hair or put your hands in your pockets. When you’re uncomfortable or, dare I say it, intimidated, you rub your chin with your finger and thumb.’
As she said the words, Zac absent-mindedly lifted his hand and did exactly what she said he’d do. He narrowed his gaze and instantly dropped his hand.
‘That’s not fair,’ he mumbled.
‘Come on, Zachary.’ Julia tried not to laugh. ‘You know things about me. How I pass out if I don’t get a regular intake of food—that sort of thing.’ She watched as he raked his hand through his hair, smiling to herself. ‘It’s only natural.’
When he looked at her again, he shook his head. ‘Stop it. Stop getting inside my head.’
‘I’m not doing it on purpose,’ she offered as she stood and crossed to his side. ‘Hold still,’ she instructed. ‘You have Plasticine in your hair.’
Zac couldn’t have moved, even if he’d wanted to. Her close proximity had taken him by surprise, and as she moved in closer, he found his gaze level with her breasts. He groaned inwardly and closed his eyes, feeling her fingers brushing against his scalp. Desire flooded him instantly and he called on every ounce of will-power he possessed to stop himself from dragging her down onto his lap and kissing her senseless.
‘There you go,’ she said softly, and drew back. She showed him the offending piece of Plasticine before throwing it into the bin.
‘Thanks.’ His voice was deep and husky. He cleared his throat and tossed her a ball of Plasticine. ‘Here. Roll this.’
Julia did as he asked and together they pieced the fracture together on the plastic bone, discussing the operation as they worked. When they were done, they locked their respective offices and headed towards Elective Theatres.
Zac pointed the way to the female changing rooms but had no idea what the security code was to enter.
‘That’s new. Time was you’d have made it your business to find out the number for the female changing rooms,’ she teased.
He returned her smile. ‘Times have changed.’
She merely shrugged. ‘I’ll find someone and ask them what the code is.’ She smiled and headed off back down the corridor. Julia introduced herself to a theatre nurse and asked for the code. After being assigned a locker and collecting theatre scrubs, she quickly changed and went in search of a phone.
‘Hi, Mum.’
‘How’s it going, dear?’
‘Fine and dandy,’ Julia replied. ‘I’m about to go into Theatre for the afternoon so I anticipate being home around eight or nine o’clock. Hopefully it won’t take that long.’
‘Sounds like a serious accident,’ Cassandra said.
‘Pelvic fracture reconstruction.’
‘I see. Well, let me get Edward so you can talk to him.’
While she waited for her son to come to the phone she turned to see Zac coming up the corridor towards her.
‘Problem?’ he asked, and she shook her head.
‘Hi, Mummy,’ Edward’s voice said down the line.
‘Hello, darling,’ she said softly. ‘Are you having a good day?’ Julia watched as Zac’s expression turned bland.
‘I’ll leave you to it,’ he mumbled, and continued on his way.
‘Yes.’
Julia watched Zac go, determined not to apologise for wanting to speak to her son. It wasn’t interfering with her work so he couldn’t be angry with her for that. Still, he’d clenched his jaw and ground his teeth as he’d walked off. She returned her attention to Edward. ‘What did you and Grandma do?’
‘Um.’ He thought. ‘Lunch.’
‘You had lunch, did you?’
‘Yes.’
‘Did you have jam on your sandwich?’
‘Yes,’ he replied again. Julia closed her eyes and smiled.
‘Mummy’s going to be late home tonight so you go to bed when Grandma says, OK?’
‘Oh-tay.’
‘I love you, honey-man.’
‘Love you, Mummy,’ he said, and blew a noisy kiss down the phone. Julia jerked the receiver away from her ear momentarily so his ‘kiss’ didn’t damage her eardrum.
‘He’s full of beans today,’ Cassandra said as she came back on the line. ‘I thought I’d take him down the road to that park we saw the other day and take him to the pool tomorrow.’
‘Good idea. As I said, I’ll try not to be too late.’
‘Will you be all right, getting home in the dark?’
Julia thought for a moment. ‘I’ll take a taxi. It’s not that far.’
‘Perhaps Zac can drive you home,’ her mother suggested.
‘Ha! Good one, Mum. Some days you’re so funny. You forget that I’m the single mother to be avoided at all costs.’
‘What’s happened?’ Cassandra asked.
‘He’s given me the let’s-be-friends speech.’
‘Already? That was fast. Never mind.’
‘Oh, I’m not.’
‘Yes, dear,’ her mother said indulgently.
Julia ignored it. ‘I’d better go and find out where I’m supposed to be. Bye, Mum.’ She rang off and headed in the direction Zac had gone.
‘There you are,’ he said as she rounded the corner. His gaze met hers briefly but she didn’t need to look deeply into his eyes to know that he was annoyed. His fingers were clenched, due to lack of pockets in theatre scrubs, and there wasn’t even a hint of a smile on his face. ‘We’re in Theatre Two,’ he told her as he stalked off, leaving her to follow.
At the scrub sink, there was a theatre nurse as well as Rodney, one of the orthopaedic registrars. The scrub nurse helped them gown up.
‘For those of you who haven’t met, this is Dr Julia Bolton, our new orthopaedic surgeon,’ Zac said in his best professional tone.
The theatre and scrub nurses murmured their greetings and Rodney just smiled at her.
‘Let’s get started.’ Zac and the rest of the staff entered Theatre where Bianca Hayden, their patient, was anaesthetised and waiting. ‘You know Lucille from the other day,’ he said, motioning with his head to the anaesthetist.
‘Hi, Julia. Nice to see you again.’
‘Likewise.’
‘Jeffrey told me that you used to work with him at Perth General Hospital,’ Lucille said.
‘That’s right. He was only acting hospital director then.’
‘So that’s how you heard we desperately needed another orthopod,’ Theatre Sister said, and nodded her head.
‘Exactly. Four weeks ago, I was deliberating whether to renew my contract and then I received a phone call from Jeffrey. He told me about the job, and as he knew my credentials he recommended me. Three weeks later—here I am!’
‘He’s the best hospital director we’ve had here,’ Theatre Sister continued as the patient was draped and swabbed, ready for Zac’s initial incision.
‘How long had you been at Perth General?’ Lucille asked.
‘Far too long,’ Julia murmured.
‘Needed a change?’
‘It was either move across the country or take on the position as head of the orthopaedic department,’ she told them, knowing Zac was finding all of this very interesting.
‘You didn’t want to be head of department?’ he asked, trying to make his voice sound casual. He was surprised that as she’d only been a qualified surgeon for three years, she would be offered such a position. Then again, he’d only been qualified for four years and here he was, head of an orthopaedic department. However, this hospital was quite a bit smaller than the one she’d worked at in Perth.
‘No,’ she replied, not looking at him. ‘Why bother with the extra aggravation and stress? I can do without those headaches, thank you very much.’
‘Interesting,’ he said softly, but Julia heard.
Surely he wasn’t threatened by her professionally? It was true that she’d only been qualified for three years but she’d done a lot during that time. She’d been nine weeks pregnant when she’d caught Ian in bed with yet another floozy and had thrown him out. The next day, she’d filed for a separation and had arranged with the hospital to change her working schedule.
She’d obtained a research grant and had done a lot of work from home during Edward’s first year of life, only going into the hospital for clinics, meetings and her scheduled operating sessions. Jeffrey and Mona had been a great support, as well as her mother, so it had been no wonder she’d won the prize for best research paper at last year’s American orthopaedic conference.
It might have only been three years but as she’d been pregnant and raising a child, Julia was prodigiously proud of her accomplishments. And if Zac was threatened by them, that was his problem.
‘Ready to incise,’ he said, bringing her focus back to the operation at hand. His first incision was for the anterior ilioinguinal approach, and once the fractures had been exposed they cleared the edges.
They worked together quite efficiently, with Julia able to anticipate his next move and have everything ready. When the fractures had been reduced and fixed with two reconstructive plates, they readied themselves for the Kocher-Langenbeck approach.
Again they exposed the fractures and cleared the edges before applying one more reconstructive plate posteriorly as well as an interfragmentary screw near the acetabular margin.