by Robin Gianna
His mother’s expression softened slightly, though her breathing still seemed fast and agitated. “I’m sorry. I was just...surprised to see you. Thank you for helping, Bree. I’m feeling very stressed, as you can imagine.”
“I understand.” Bree carefully rubbed the oil around on her skin, seeming to carefully study her bruises, and Sean hoped she didn’t feel too horribly insulted or embarrassed by his mother. “It’s been stressful for all of us.”
“Yes. Terrible.” His mom ran a hand that looked a little shaky across her forehead. “So where is my grandson? And what’s the latest on your sister? I’m so anxious to see both of them.”
“Critical but stable. We can go see her whenever you’re ready.” But that would mean leaving Bree alone with the baby again. Or maybe they could take him along, and he realized all over again that juggling a baby around everything going on wasn’t going to be easy. “But first, I’ll go get the baby, so you can see him.”
“I... Yes, get him, please. I...need to wash my hands first, after traveling and being around all those people. But I have to sit down for...a minute before I do.” She stepped to the nearest chair and practically dropped into it. “I’m afraid I might be catching some bug, probably from all the traveling. Do you think I should wear a paper mask while I’m holding him? Do you have any?”
“You feel sick?”
“Yes.” She huffed out a few heavy breaths and pressed her hand to her chest. “Nauseated, and a little dizzy. Light-headed.”
He frowned. Now that he was thinking less about the bliss she’d interrupted and was able to really pay attention, he could see she looked odd. Obviously shaky, and her skin was a little gray. “Take it easy for a while, then, and see if you feel better. It’s getting late, anyway. It’s not going to matter if you see Emma tonight or tomorrow morning, I promise.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I feel so strange.”
“It’s been a long trip, Mom. Who wouldn’t be wrung out? Plus you had the shock of hearing about Emma, and the worry of not getting to see her for a few days.” He leaned down to kiss her cheek. Her skin was maybe a little clammy, but from the quick touch it didn’t feel as though she had a fever. “I’m sure trying to get here as fast as you could from across the Pacific was exhausting, and you’re just plain tired.”
“Yes. That might be it. Though I still think I may have a bug. In fact... I hate to even ask this, but maybe I need a bowl.” Her brown eyes were wide and distressed as she stared up at him. “I feel like I might get sick to my stomach.”
“I’ll get one.” Bree hurried to the kitchen, then came back to place it on his mother’s knee, a frown creasing her brows. She took a step back, next to Sean, and he could see Bree was studying her. Even with his mother there, and not feeling well, the scent of that damned oil on her had his own breath going fast, too.
“When did you start feeling this way?” Bree asked in a voice Sean recognized as her professional doctor one.
“Just now, driving from the airport.”
Bree squatted next to the chair and lifted his mom’s hand, pressing her fingers to her wrist while she looked at her watch. Anyone else might have thought she was expressionless, but he knew better. The underlying tension around Bree’s eyes and mouth had him instantly going from slightly concerned to worried. It took willpower to resist the urge to grab his mom’s other hand to check her pulse himself, but crowding her might make things worse.
He realized he was holding his breath when intense green eyes looked up to meet his. “Her pulse is fast. One fifty.”
Hell. He glanced at Bree and their eyes met, hers telegraphing that this wasn’t any bug. Her eyes held concern, and her lips twisted slightly as she gave him a small nod before turning back to his mother.
“Feeling out of breath, dizzy and queasy, combined with a fast heart rate and clammy skin, all likely mean one thing, Gwen,” Bree said to his mother in a soothing but no-nonsense voice. “You’re probably having a heart attack.”
“Heart attack? Impossible!” His mother sat upright to stare at first Bree, then Sean, clutching both hands to her chest now. “No. I’m fine. Just a bug, I’m sure. I’ll be feeling better soon.”
“Waiting can turn a mild heart attack into one with serious aftereffects, Gwen.” Bree rested her hand on his mom’s shoulder. “You’ll get artery-opening meds right away at the hospital, which often stop the attack in its tracks. In fact, I’m going to have you take a baby aspirin right now.”
“I can’t go to the hospital! There’s too much to do to have a heart attack!”
“Yeah, there is,” Sean said. And wasn’t that the truth? When it rained, it sure poured. He looked at his mom, and the feel of Bree’s palm on his back, knowing she was there with him if things went further south, calmed the fear rising in his throat. “But I think you always said trouble comes in threes? We’re calling 911.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
“SEAN! I CAN’T believe it! Is she...is she going to be okay?”
The shocked fear on Emma’s face, the tears that sprang to her eyes when he told her the bad news, had Sean choosing his next words carefully. His sister had sure had enough upheaval for one week, being so banged up and in pain and not able to spend much time with her awesome little baby. All three of them had, but it was his job to look after his mom and his sister, whether they thought they needed it or not. Shoving down his own worries to appear calm and relaxed wasn’t easy, but he had to make it happen for their sakes.
“It appears to have been a mild heart attack.” He reached to hold Emma’s hand. “Obviously, anything like this is scary, but our cardiology team is amazing. They’re going to do angioplasty tomorrow to open up the blockage in her right coronary artery. They’ll be putting in a stent to bridge that narrowing. It shouldn’t take her a long time to get her strength back from the procedure, so I expect she’ll be feeling fairly good again soon.”
Bree was stuck right in the middle of all the upheaval in Sean’s family, too, but she didn’t need anyone to take care of her. Even when they’d been together, she’d been too stubborn and independent to allow it most of the time. Except for those massages to soothe her bruising, though he was pretty sure she’d only gone along with that because they’d been in close contact together too long to fight touching one another any longer.
He let his eyes close for a second, wanting to savor the memory of how all that had felt. How he wanted more of it. As if all of this weren’t hard enough. Now that she wasn’t right there with him, and he wasn’t touching her and kissing her and looking into her beautiful eyes, he was able to remind himself of all the reasons sex with her would be a really not good idea for both of them.
“So,” he said, trying to focus on his sister again, “with any luck she’ll be released in just a day or two. But obviously, she’ll have to have some time to recover.”
“This is so awful. I still can’t believe it. So what now? I want to take care of Wilson so bad, but...my stupid arm and stitches!” Emma wiped her hand across her eyes, and he hated to see how the bruises had deepened. As Bree’s had, and his gut clenched thinking about what they’d both suffered. But at least his sister wasn’t hooked up to as many tubes and wires anymore, just the IV that had turned her hand and arm purple. And thankfully Bree’s injuries had been nothing compared to this.
Emma had asked him what was going to happen now. Good question, and one he wasn’t sure how to answer. But he had to somehow reassure Emma that everything would be okay, because the last thing she needed was more worry and stress when her body was trying to heal. “You’re going to be surprised how much stronger you’ll be feeling once you’re in rehab. I’ve already talked to your doctors and the social worker, and they think you’ll be able to leave the hospital later this week and come to my house.”
“Your house? I thought you said rehab.”
“Really?” A wide smile lit her face. “That would be amazing. So I could be with Will all the time.”
“Yep. So, see? It’s going to be okay. As far as Mom’s care is concerned, I’ll be able to help, but I’ll have to talk to the social workers, set up in-home nursing care and rehab for her for a while probably, too.” He squeezed the back of his neck to relax the kinks. Which made him think of massaging Bree’s neck, which led his thoughts to... He fiercely shook his head. “I need to talk to Bree. See exactly what her plans are, and if she can help for another day or so, or not. Then get a nanny.”
“Will Mom be released to your house? Or hers?”
Another good question. “Honestly? I don’t know. Some of it will depend on how she’s feeling, and if she’s up to being alone or not. I’d vote for her to come to my house for a while, at least. Bree’s been staying in my guest room when she’s there, so that would have to change if you both come to live with me.” His house was going to feel like a hospital wing for a while, but he’d take that any day over either one of them having to go to a rehab facility.
“But Bree’s leaving soon anyway, right?” Emma said. “So the guest-bedroom situation doesn’t really matter. I can’t remember exactly what day she’s moving, do you?”
His chest got that heavy feeling again, which made no sense since it wasn’t exactly news that Bree was moving far away. Pitiful that he hadn’t even asked her the exact date of her move. Should have, obviously. Maybe he hadn’t really wanted to know when he’d never see her again.
He blew out a breath. Had seeing her sometimes in the hospital after their breakup counted as really “seeing” her? No. So her moving a thousand miles away shouldn’t make him feel as if his heart were being ripped out all over again.
But it did.
“No, I don’t.”
“It’s soon, I know.” Emma bit her lip and stared at him. “And I don’t want her to feel guilty about that. It’s not her responsibility to take care of Will and me and fill in longer now that Mom’s sick. That surf competition is important to her, and obviously her new job is, too. Our...our situation’s a mess, but we’ll make it work, right?”
“Right.” And they would. He’d make sure of it, for everyone’s sake.
“You have a pretty awful look on your face. I’m sorry if it’s been hard being around Bree so much.” Emma squeezed his hand.
“Hasn’t been hard.” Like climbing Mount Everest wasn’t hard. “I just have things to figure out about you and Mom and Will.”
“Sure.” His sister gave him the look that told him she knew he was lying. “Did you ever go on any dates from that online dating site?”
“The one you set up for me, including my photo, without telling me? No.”
“Yes. That one.” He’d had a feeling that would make her grin, in spite of everything, and he was right.
“Just because I met Bree through you doesn’t mean you have to worry about me and my love life.” His nonexistent love life, unless he counted a couple of amazing, oily massages. “I’m a big boy.”
“Yeah, except it’s not good for a guy like you to go months and months without a single date. Bree might be amazing, but it’s time for you to see that she isn’t the only mermaid in the ocean.”
“Like your love life has been a roaring success?” He raised his eyebrows, knowing she’d get his message loud and clear, since he was pretty sure she hadn’t gotten pregnant through immaculate conception.
Her face shuttered, and he wished he’d kept his mouth shut. As if they didn’t all have enough things to worry about. “Sorry I said that. You know I wasn’t happy you dropped out of that community college again, but I gotta admit Will is one cute little guy.”
“Yeah. He is. He’s amazing. I just... I love him so much already. It feels horrible that I can’t have him with me all the time, you know?” Tears sprang into her eyes. “This is all such an unbelievable mess. I’ve been counting the days till I was going to get out of here, get physical therapy, then finally move in with Mom and get to take care of him a lot more. What’s going to happen now?”
He hated to see the tears sliding down her cheeks. Until the accident, he hadn’t seen his sister cry for years except when their father had died, and it felt every bit as bad now as it had when he was eight years old. “Didn’t I say to let me worry about it? There are lots of people to help you and Mom get stronger, and to take care of Will. We’ll figure it out as we go. Okay?”
“Okay.” She dropped his hand and raised her good arm for a hug, which Sean gave her very gingerly so as not to hurt all the things broken or bruised on her poor body. “If you talk to Mom, tell her I love her. Maybe you can bring her to see me before she goes home.”
“We’ll see how it goes.” He didn’t want Emma to worry, but, even though angioplasty was commonly done and comparatively easy to recover from, no heart procedure was a walk in the park. “I’m going to check on Mom one more time, then get back to relieve Bree. I think she has to be at work early.”
“That’s Bree. Superachiever.” Emma’s lip twisted. “She’d never talked to me about her dad before, and how he only seemed to care about her when she was doing something great. Did she tell you when you were dating? That must be why she competes at everything like the devil’s on her tail or something, you know?”
“I know.” Too well. Her need to compete and outdo herself was part of the reason they’d had conflicts over how much she traveled. Why she’d ruled out having any kids. And no amount of talking to her about being able to have the best of both worlds had convinced her otherwise.
He leaned down to kiss Emma’s cheek. “See you tomorrow, and I’ll let you know how Mom’s doing then.”
Once in his mother’s room, he was glad to see she was feeling comfortable and not horribly worried about having the angioplasty procedure tomorrow. “You look good, Mom.”
“I know that can’t be true,” she said. She managed a smile, but her eyelids were drooping. “I feel like I’ve been dragged backwards through a knothole.”
His dad’s favorite saying. He grinned at his mom, reaching for her hand. “Tomorrow they’ll pull you back the other way, and you’ll be feeling fine again.”
“Spoken like a surgeon. I bet your definition of fine and mine aren’t exactly the same.”
“Maybe.” Yeah, his definition meant “alive and reasonably well,” and he prayed everything would go smoothly during the procedure. “Get a good night’s sleep, or at least as good as is possible in the hospital. You’ve got to be exhausted.”
“I am tired, but I want to tell you something.” She squeezed his hand. “Your dad would be so proud of you. I know he asked you to take care of us, and while I certainly never pictured this kind of thing, you’ve done more than anyone could expect. Thank you.”
“No thanks necessary, Mom. It’s my job to take care of you and Emma, not to mention that I love you both. I’m glad we’re all together here.”
“Me, too. And like your dad, I can’t wait for the day you have a wonderful family of your own.”
Of his own. Not going to happen for a long time.
He crept out as soon as her eyes were closed to let her sleep. Feeling as okay with her situation as was possible to feel under the circumstances, he headed to his car. Once he was sitting inside it, the tension that had tightened every muscle for the past three hours, for the past three days, unspooled, and the exhaustion that crept through him just might rival what his poor mother was feeling.
He dropped his head back against the seat. Thankfully he’d managed to keep it together after the accident to be there for his sister and care for Will. Endure the torturous pleasure of being around Bree again. And as he sat there staring
out across the hospital parking lot, brightly lit by rows of lights illuminating the way, his thoughts became focused on her. Again.
His life sure had been full of a lot of dark these past days. Bree was a big part of that dark, and yet she was the light, too. Helping him find his way through the crises that kept on coming. A light he’d counted on too much when he shouldn’t have let that happen. And it was something he couldn’t allow himself to do for much longer.
His mother and sister and nephew were his responsibility. Had been since his dad died, and more than anything he wanted to be the kind of man his father had been. A man who worked hard, but put his family first. A man who had adored his wife and raised his kids to be whoever they wanted to be. A man who’d faced life’s challenges head-on, including the cancer that eventually took his life.
He was trying to be that kind of man. Which meant relying on Bree was wrong. She had her life and her plans, which no longer included him, and, though that reality still hurt more than he’d ever admit, it was just the way things had to be.
He closed his eyes, and let himself think about how her mouth had tasted, how her skin had felt beneath his hands, how she’d looked when she’d climaxed from his touch. He’d wanted to see that, feel that again, but it wasn’t enough. He’d wanted more. She’d wanted more, too, and if his mother hadn’t shown up, he knew exactly what would have happened next.
All those thoughts made his body stir and his breath shorten, and he knew he couldn’t trust himself to not start things right back up the second he walked in the door, and what would that accomplish? A few hours of great sex like that they used to share, then even more pain than all that he still carried around in his stupid heart over her?