by Dani Collins
“She lives four blocks from here,” Mercedes stated mercilessly. “That’s why he came to this side of town the night he was arrested.”
“Mercedes,” Zack bit out through his teeth.
“Are you kidding me?” L.C. played it up with mock rage, making them all grin.
Zack put up a hand in defense. “I know, I know.”
“All that b.s. about not wanting to lose a semester,” L.C. continued. “And you really just wanted to hang around for a girl? That’s it.” L.C. leapt from his chair.
Zack moved just as fast. He shot out of his lawn chair with a clatter and vaulted the brick wall, his father in hot pursuit, both yelling insults as they sprinted around the corner of the house.
“Auntie M?” Ayjia asked. She came to the doorway, eyes wide, bottom lip trembling.
“Oh, sweetie.” Instantly remorseful, Mercedes pushed out of her chair and scooped up the little girl. “They’re just playing chase. It’s okay.”
The men came running from Mercedes’s side of the duplex and Sterling halted them with a sharp whistle.
“You’re scaring Ayjia, you lunatics,” Paige called.
Zack and L.C. came back, both panting. Zack was laughing, one arm folded across his middle, while L.C. looked more serious. He plucked Ayjia from Mercedes hold.
“I was just going to tickle him. But he was too fast. I’ll have to tickle you instead.” He tried to find her ribs while she squealed and giggled.
Dayton came out and said, “I bet you can’t catch me.”
“I bet we could. Couldn’t we, Ayj?”
She nodded and while Dayton clumsily climbed over the wall, L.C. swung Ayjia onto his back then took off after Dayton.
They zigzagged across the tiny lawn, then L.C. caught Dayton’s arm just before he darted onto the Ring Road.
“Look for cars first. Okay, it’s fine. Go.” He released him and they took off for the berm and the shade of the cliff face.
Mercedes covered her racing heart. “That boy and that road. He forgets it’s there,” she said, pretending it was the danger that stopped her heart when it was really L.C. He stopped and started and owned her heart and all the rest of her, too.
She hadn’t wanted it to happen, had tried not to tumble yesterday, when they had writhed across that motel room bed. Today, he’d hurt her too deeply, though. She was too miserable at the thought of his leaving for this thing inside her to be anything less than pure, wholehearted love, sweet love.
“They’re great kids,” Paige said as she watched L.C. and the kids fall to the grass, wrestling like a litter of puppies.
“Ayjia’s an absolute heartbreaker,” Sterling said.
“Dad says they remind him of you two,” Zack told Paige, leaning on the wall.
“Really?” The shadow of concern that came into Paige’s eyes made Mercedes shift self-consciously. As nice as Paige was, she was a stranger. Mercedes didn’t need to know about Ayjia and Dayton’s ‘situation.’
“I guess they have about the same age difference as Lyle and I,” she murmured, glossing over it with a kind smile. Mercedes noted that Sterling reached for her again, pulling her back against his chest and stacking his chin on the top of her head. His forearm slid across her collarbone, solid and protective.
“And Ayjia loves to boss Dayton.” Zack didn’t seem aware of the undercurrents, only picked up his little sister and said, “What about you, Linds? Gonna boss me?”
“Down!” she declared and tried to wriggle out of his hold.
“Guess so.” He set her on her feet and they all chuckled.
L.C. came back with the older children under his arms, the front of his T-shirt damp with sweat, his arm muscles straining, his grin cocky and gorgeous. “I told them since it’s our day to water, they can play in the sprinkler to cool off.”
“Good idea,” Mercedes said.
Minutes later, she watched Ayjia and Dayton dance through the spray in their bathing suits while the toddlers stood back in their diapers. Zack showed his sister it was safe to put her hand in the stream while Sterling hooked his arm around his wife, both laughing at their daughter’s dumbfounded expression when drops fell onto her bare feet.
L.C. stood beside Mercedes, his hand closing over hers, smiling.
The moment was perfect. She wanted it to last forever.
But it couldn’t.
Chapter 21
L.C. carried his daughter to Paige’s van and knew he was sunk. Lindsay was heavy with the weight of sleep, but light and soft, smelling of sunscreen and something he recalled from Zack’s babyhood. Something genetic, maybe, that told him she was his.
He watched Paige tuck her daughter into her car seat and smiled with affection. He’d held his niece after Paige had dried her off and put her into her jammies. Paige had plunked her into his lap and said, “Give Uncle Lyle a kiss.”
Showing true Fogarty colors, the little tart had complied. L.C. had done his best to worry Sterling sick by talking about her prospects, but he’d been fascinated by the tyke’s resemblance to his sister beneath the angelic Roy coloring. And he hadn’t realized how awesome being an uncle would feel. Having a sense of connection with a child without the crippling load of responsibility made for an easy trip into love.
“Shhh,” Paige said to her babbling toddler now. “Lindsay’s sleeping.”
“Li’seep.”
“That’s right. Sleeping.” Paige turned to L.C. and reached for the baby he held.
L.C. reflexively tightened his grip on Lindsay, resisting giving her up. His father had been the same: not the least equipped to raise a child decently, but pigheadedly determined to hang onto his kids anyway. L.C. couldn’t count the number of times Britta had accused him of only wanting shared custody of Zack so he wouldn’t have to pay support, but it had been way more primal than that. Shoot, even Paige had compulsively returned to their screwed up tribe, living away but unable to stay away. She’d been relentless in her nagging for him to come home. There was something in their genes that demanded nearness to loved ones.
“Wanna come home with us now?” she asked, the wry twist in her mouth telling him she wasn’t entirely joking.
From inside the open door of his unit, L.C. could hear Sterling telling a story about his first effort to collapse the playpen he was carrying, making Zack and Mercedes and the kids laugh.
Mercedes.
L.C. looked at the innocent in his arms. “I could kill you for this, Pidge,” he finally said on a sigh. “Your timing sucks.”
“I know, but I was worried when Zack said you were taking the funeral so hard.” She lifted her empty hands, pointed to herself. “And I wanted to see you. I miss you. This was fun. You look good.” She rubbed his arm. “Mercedes is great. ‘Keeper’ great.”
“Yeah, she is.” He found the will to give up his daughter and watched Paige buckle her limp form into her car seat. “But I can’t.”
Mercedes had just tucked in the kids when Zack came knocking on the door. He pushed his hands into his shorts pockets and shrugged.
“Dad asked me to offer to watch the kids for you if you want to go for a walk with him. Are you really mad at him?”
“I don’t know,” Mercedes said truthfully, folding her arms and regarding the young man shuffling in front of her. “What about you? I was under the impression you disapproved of he and I.”
“I never disapproved of you.” Zack’s brows pulling into worried appeal. “I just thought Dad...” He lifted one muscled shoulder. “I thought he was being stupid, letting Mom keep him from seeing Lindsay. It bothered me to hear Linds call Cam ‘Daddy.’ I’m not saying Cam isn’t a good guy. He totally is. And I’m not saying my dad hasn’t had moments of being a complete screw up. But he’s a good dad. He ought to be there for Lindsay the way he was for me.”
And consciously or unconsciously, Zack had known a relationship with Mercedes was doomed because eventually L.C. would choose to do exactly that. She nodded.
“Yeah, it�
��d be nice if you sat with the kids for a bit.”
They walked, but didn’t talk right away, except for L.C. saying he didn’t want to stroll through the complex where everyone could see them. “Let’s go this way.”
He led her up the berm and used his pocketknife to cut through the fence where Zack and his friends had entered six weeks ago. The irony wasn’t lost on them and they shared a grin before slipping onto the shoulder of the highway and down an embankment into a family suburb and finally the west entrance to the park where she often brought the kids.
The night air was velvety soft and sweet with late spring, the sound of traffic distant, the streetlights filtered by bordering trees. L.C. took her hand and they meandered the open area between swings and teeter-totters.
“So there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you,” he finally said, making her smile in the dark because he always seemed to make her smile despite the bombshells detonating around her.
“It didn’t really seem like any of your business before we were involved,” he continued. “Then, within hours of our becoming involved...” He stopped walking and scratched his eyebrow. “You told me you couldn’t have babies. At that point, it didn’t seem the best timing to bring up my gift for reproduction. Or that I hadn’t met the last kid I made.”
“Are you still in love with your ex-wife? Because I’ve been wondering how?”
“I do love Brit, but not in the way you mean.” He squeezed her hand. “I’ve known her most of my life and she’s a good person. She tried her damnedest to save me from myself for years. She had my kid twice when abortion would have made her life a helluva lot simpler. But it wasn’t love that made Lindsay. It was...familiarity maybe. We’d had a few drinks, I was feeling low about Ester. Maybe she was feeling lonely. I’m not going to kiss and tell, but it was her idea and I didn’t exactly put up a fight.”
“And the condom broke?” she said, maintaining what little honor he was trying to salvage.
“Latex is no match for my little warriors.” He shook his head. “I wish we’d met five years ago when you were trying to get pregnant. Guaranteed results or your money back.” He stopped and brought her hand to his shoulder, left it against his neck so he could splay his hands around her waist.
She felt the corners of her mouth weighing down. “It infuriates me that it’s so easy for some people. Like my sister. Yet I was pretty much doomed from the get-go.”
“Oh, Merce, I want things to be different.” He closed his arms around her, pulling her tight against him.
She rested her forehead against his jaw, swallowing back the press of tears.
He squeezed the breath from her. “Come with me,” he said.
“I can’t. You know I can’t. Not with the kids. They’re confused enough. To uproot them again...”
He eased his hold on her and sighed. “And you won’t ask me to stay. Not again.”
“Do you want me to?” she asked, not sure what answer she wanted to hear.
L.C. chuckled softly and tucked her head beneath his chin again. “Don’t even tease me with that one, M. I want to be where I can see Lindsay every day. Of course I do. Deep down I always have. My staying away was Brit’s idea first and then it was just easier for me to be Lone Coyote Fogarty than it is to be Lyle Cock-up Fogarty.”
“You’re so hard on yourself.” She switched her arms to around his waist, tracing the indent of his spine through his T-shirt.
“You want to know what I’d say if you asked me to stay? I’d say you wouldn’t be able to live with a man who chose her over his daughter. Would you?”
She tucked her head against his chest, very close to admitting she would always love him, no matter what.
“No,” he said, as if she had agreed with him. “And the truth is, the way you’ve taken in Ayjia and Dayton, that’s one of the reasons—” His arms tightened and he said, “Ah, fuck it. I love you, M.”
“Oh.” The words went into her like a hook, hot and piercing, but sweet, too. Locking them together with something indelible.
“I’m a son of a bitch for saying it now, like this, when I’m leaving. But I can’t leave my own kid wondering where the hell her parent is when I see how hard it is on Dayton and Ayjia.”
She nodded, tightening the arms that were already squeezing his waist, holding onto him hard, so hard and long.
They stood like that for minutes, until her muscles protested, but she didn’t want to release him, didn’t want him to ease up his crushing embrace of hard arms around her.
Finally they had to, both letting out a pained hiss of a breath as they let the tension dissipate and just leaned against one another.
“Maybe when you finally sort things out with your sister, and the kids aren’t an issue, maybe then you’ll come see me?”
“Maybe,” she said, catching her breath as he squeezed her again, his hug so tight he lifted her off her feet. It hurt a little, crushing her ribs, but she didn’t care. She never wanted him to let her go.
“Is L.C. and Zack leaving?” Ayjia asked a few afternoons later.
L.C. and Dayton were due back from Mrs. Garvey’s any minute. Mercedes was chopping vegetables for a salad, but Ayjia’s question had her reaching for a tea towel to dry her hands.
Paige and Sterling had left the day after the big dinner, and even though Mercedes and L.C. hadn’t spoken a lot about his impending departure, the kids were too astute to miss it.
“Do you remember when I first brought you here, and we talked about how Zack had to work here because he and his friends had made some very bad choices? That it was kind of like he was in time out?”
“Uh, huh.” Her wide eyes tilted up, dark and serious.
“Well, Zack has finished his work. He’s finished being in his time out and he’s finished at school, so he’s going back to the town where he grew up, where his mom and Lindsay live. L.C. wants to go with him because he used to live there and he wants to be able to see Lindsay.”
“I like Lindsay,” Ayjia said, lowering her gaze while the corners of her mouth grew heavy.
“I like Lindsay, too. I like all of L.C.’s relatives.” Paige had called Mercedes once she’d reached home, apologizing again for any ‘awkwardness’ she might have caused. They had wound up talking for half an hour about everything and nothing.
Ayjia hiccupped and used the heel of her hand to scrub beneath her eye. “I don’t want them to go.”
“Oh, sweetie,” Mercedes said, kneeling beside her and pulling her little body into her lap. “I know.” Mercedes rocked her.
The door opened.
Dayton came in, L.C. leaning in behind him.
“What happened?” Dayton asked, while L.C.’s frown repeated the question.
“Ayjia’s feeling sad,” Mercedes said and half-smiled at L.C. Good thing she hadn’t become involved with him and made this hard on the kids.
At the sound of a knock on her door, a zing of near-panic shot through Edith’s veins. Edward was early and she was still dithering over what one should wear to a display of hand-made quilts.
She glanced down at the plebian sweater set and skirt she’d been wearing all day. It was perfectly serviceable, and it wasn’t as though she wanted to make more of this invitation than he may have intended. After all, he’d been almost apologetic when he’d suggested she accompany him.
“Patty’s best friend runs it,” he had said. “I’ve been helping sell raffle tickets for years. It means sitting at the desk for an hour. Maybe quilts aren’t your thing. I’ve noticed over the years, however, that most women seem to enjoy looking at them.”
Not much of a seamstress herself, Edith imagined temporary insanity had prompted her to agree. Now she wasn’t even ready on time.
However, it wasn’t Edward on the other side of the door.
“L.C.,” she said with surprise.
“Mrs. Garvey.” He held a wooden box of some sort. “A thank you gift, for all your lessons. I, uh, found a place where I can take t
he exam as soon as I get back home so I should have my GED within a few weeks.” He nodded at the box. “This is for your newspapers. You said you like to keep them a few days but don’t like them stacking up. I thought this might work in the corner behind the kitchen table.”
“That was weeks ago I said that.” She stood back to let him in, blushing because she had thought last night, as he was leaving with Dayton, that she would prepare a parting gift for him. Then Mr. Hilroy had come by to return a book and had issued his invitation. She had promptly forgotten about L.C.’s impending departure. How inconsiderate of her.
“It’s a little heavy,” L.C. apologized as he set the box in place. “But it’s all tricked out with twine. See?” He lifted the lid to show her. “You string it through before you fill it, then when it’s full, the twine’s already in place. You tie it off and pack out the papers.”
“How ingenious.”
He shrugged. “I printed the plans from a do-it-yourself site. If you decide it’s too bulky or whatever, Mercedes said she could use it in the lounge.”
“No, no, it’s quite suitable.” Suitable. Such a prudish word. No wonder people rolled their eyes at her. “I’m delighted, sir,” she said, clearing her throat of the very real emotion that suddenly clogged it. “And embarrassed. I intended to wrap this for you and walk it down last night, but I’ve been...” Twittering like a pre-teen.
She retrieved the style book that had belonged to her mother.
“Oh, no, really,” L.C. protested. “It’s a nice gesture, but not necessary. This was...” He waved at the newspaper box. “Well, I just wanted to say thank you. I’ve learned way more from you in the last month than I ever did in school.”
“Yes, well, you still have more to master. I’d like you to accept this.”
“No, really. That book’s really special to you.”
“It is. That’s why I’d like you to have it.” She continued to hold it out, even though her arm was growing tired. “I know we started off on the wrong foot, L.C., but you’ve taught me a few things as well. Please, take this book.”